Mike Tyson & Roy Jones Jr. Need To Relax

So, here we are, son. After 15 years and a barrage of impressive training videos, Mike Tyson is returning to boxing. Not only that, he’s about to get it cracking against Roy Jones Jr. Now, before anyone gives me the side-eye, yes, this story is real, and no, this isn’t 1995. All I can say is, as much as I fucks with the both of them, they need to sit their asses down, man. On the real, they need to just enjoy being legends and leave the fighting to the young cats.

Ok, for those who missed it, an exhibition match between Tyson and Jones is about to go down. Now, according to reports, the two men will go at it for eight rounds on September 12th in Carson, California. In addition, on the undercard, former NBA player Nate Robinson is set to fight YouTube dude Jake Paul. All in all, I don’t know what the fuck is going on out here, fam? I mean, on the same night, we have a 54-year-old battling a 51-year-old and a basketball player squabbling with a vlogger. *Sigh* 2020 is so fucking weird, bruh.

Look, I have all of the respect in the world for Tyson and Jones, son. Like, they’re literally my two favorite boxers, man. However, this fight just doesn’t need to happen, fam. Ok, yes, Tyson has been looking otherworldly in his Instagram training videos, but there’s a reason he stepped away from the sport, bruh. Shit, I think it’s safe to say that they’re both past their primes, people. So, I don’t want to see either of them get hurt, brethren. In my eyes, none of this shit is remotely worth it.

In the end, I’m all for Tyson/Jones staying in shape and getting the blood pumping. But, boxing is an unforgiving sport, son. Ultimately, the phrase “you don’t play boxing” is accurate as fuck, man. By and by, I would’ve been HYPED for this shit in the mid-90s. However, the time has passed and the greats just need to let their legacies speak for themselves. That is all. LC out.

Don’t Ever Throw Hands With Mike Tyson

So, let me get straight to the point, son. On the real, there are just certain things in life I would never do, man. Like, I would never climb Mount Everest. I mean, just take a look at all of the people who are dying as we speak. In addition, I would never play Russian Roulette. Shit, why would someone invent that stupid ass game, brethren? Lastly, I would never get into a fucking fist fight with Mike Tyson. For God‘s sake, what was Wack 100 thinking, fam?! All in all, ain’t no podcast convo worth a left hook to the dome, bruh.

Ok, for those who missed it, Wack, The Game‘s manager, was recently a guest on Tyson’s Hotboxin’ with Mike Tyson podcast. Now, since Tyson has gotten into the weed game, he basically gets high with his guests and has a grand ol’ time. Side note, I need to make it out to Tyson Ranch, son. Anyway, the conversation went left when Tyson asked Wack about Tupac Shakur. Basically, Wack has been talking wild shit about Pac for years and Tyson was one of Pac’s closest friends. Needless to say, Tyson didn’t take too kindly to the disrespect, man.

Moving on, here’s where things get foggy, fam. Now, as alluded to by Wack, he apparently swung on Tyson first. From there, his story becomes vague. On the other hand, Tyson responded by quoting himself and saying “everyone has a plan ’til they get punched in the mouth” on Instagram. Either way, it seems like Wack got his fucking wig rocked by Tyson. With all of that being said, what kind of dumbass fights Mike Tyson ON PURPOSE?!

Look, do I need to bring up the footage, bruh? Hell, Tyson used to MURDER people in the boxing ring, son! Real talk, he specialized in hurting the fuck out of people, man. Like, I can’t remember the dude’s name, but I’m pretty sure Tyson knocked a dude out from a body shot, fam. A fucking body shot, y’all! All I know is, that is NOT the man to fuck with. The way I see it, Wack can save all that “but who landed the first shot” shit. If I hooked off on the Hulk first and got smashed into dust, who really won, people?

In the end, just leave Mike Tyson alone, son. Ultimately, that dude spent a LIFETIME being a crazy motherfucker. By and by, if he wants to just lay back and smoke weed, then let that guy cook, man. At the end of the day, we don’t need the “I want to eat his children” dude to resurface, fam. That is all. LC out.

Scottie Pippen Needs To Put Them Paws On Future

Ok, let’s skip the formalities, son. Scottie Pippen needs to beat the breaks off of Future, man. Blatant disrespect should never be tolerated, especially when it comes to a man’s wife. Now, yes, I’m aware of the alleged fuckery that transpired between Future and Scottie’s wife, Larsa Pippen. However; if the Pippen’s decide to work on their marriage, then Future needs to sit his lean-sipping ass down. If not, then he needs to be prepared to catch the fade from Scottie.

Now, before I continue berating Future, let me address Scottie. After Larsa was seen galavanting around town with Future, I thought Scottie was BUGGING for taking her back. I mean, cheating, or alleged cheating, is bad enough, son. However; making a significant other look like a dumbass in public is a completely different beast, man. As a married man, I can honestly say, if I saw visible evidence of my wife’s infidelity, I’m catching a case, bruh. Her and I can talk about a possible reconciliation after I put both hands, feet, elbows and knees on that other man. Look, I would never hit a woman, but the side dude could get that Mike Tyson treatment.

In any case, I still understand why Scottie took his wife back. I mean, they’ve been married for 19 years, son. It’s difficult to just end a relationship that has endured for that long. With that being said, I won’t judge Scottie for working through his marital issues. Shit, him and his wife have four kids too. A split could cost him a shitload of money, bruh. It’s much cheaper to keep her, man. Isn’t that what they all say?

Moving on, here’s where Future truly fucked up. Now, smashing a married woman is bad enough, son. But, if she’s clearly trying to work it out with her husband, then go have a stadium of seats, bruh. Instead, Future decided to crank the frivolous meter to ten. Just this past weekend, when Larsa posted a selfie on Instagram, Future left a heart emoji and the word “forever” in the comments section. Bruh, what? What?! See, that’s the type of shit that warrants an open palm slap. It’s bad enough that he was publicly hopping out of cars with Larsa, man. Now, he wants to rub salt on the wounds for the world to see. Look, if Scottie put his entire shin bone in Future’s ass, he would be well within his rights, son.

On the real, this type of fuck shit is probably why Ciara left his ass to go and prosper with Russell Wilson. At some point, the childish antics have to cease, man. This dude is 33 years old, son! How does he have this much time to be so petty? Keep in mind, I’m the treasurer of #FutureHive, but I can’t condone the nonsense, kid. Enough is enough.

In the end, fan or not, Future needs to get this work, man. Just let Scottie get his “five minutes” and then everyone can go about their respective business. It’s the right thing to do, son. LC out.

P.S. There’s a rumor going around that Future smashed Larsa because Scottie refused to sign an autograph for him back in the day. If there is ANY truth to this story, then Future is officially the most petty dude to ever breathe air and walk the planet Earth. Honestly, I hope this tale is true because it would be fucking HILARIOUS, son! That is all.