Folks Are Wilin’ For Chicken Sandwiches

So, this is what it’s come to, son. Pandemonium has ensued and cities are in chaos, man. Now, what could be the cause of the mayhem, fam? Is it martial law? Is it Godzilla? Is it a supernatural fight between those teenagers from Chronicle? Nah, it’s just a bunch of muhfuckas losing their minds over Popeyes‘ new chicken sandwich. All I know is, even if the sandwich is delicious, folks are out here wilin’ over poultry, bruh.

Ok, before I continue, let me keep in a buck, son. Now, I’m not going to sit here and pretend like I’m too good for a chicken sandwich. I mean, I definitely want to see what all of the hype is about, man. However, I’m not about to lower my pride and put my body at risk for breaded chicken, fam. Like, I keep reading story after story after story of insanely long lines, people getting into fights and a general lack of inventory. Shit, these sandwiches are so scarce that Quavo from Migos is selling them shits for $1,000 each. All I can say is, we have officially jumped the fucking shark, bruh.

Look, I don’t have much to say here, son. The point is, everyone needs to fucking relax, man. Frankly, unless Popeyes decides to stop making these sandwiches, we’ll all get one eventually, fam. The way I see it, anyone getting into a fistfight over chicken needs to reevaluate their life, bruh. Listen, I have no idea if the sandwich is better than Chick-fil-A‘s, brethren. But, I’m sure we’ll all be able to find out for ourselves. In the meantime, people need to fucking chill. Side note, I never thought Chick-fil-A was that amazing, but that’s another story for another day.

In the end, that’s all I’ve got, son. Ultimately, chicken sandwiches shouldn’t be a source of neighborhood strife, man. By and by, I’m sure I’m contributing to the tomfoolery by writing this post, fam. The word is, we’ve already given Popeyes about $24 million worth of free advertising. Once again, we as consumers don’t understand the power we have. So, at the end of the day, Popeyes is winning regardless, bruh. Good for them, I guess. That is all. LC out.

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My Only Gripe With Nicki Minaj’s Interview With Joe Budden

So, I won’t lie, son. Real talk, I was trying my hardest to avoid this Nicki Minaj and Joe Budden situation, man. I mean, we have two people who like to shout and talk over people, fam. The fact is, shenanigans were damn near inevitable with these two in a room, bruh. Moving on, I’m not here to debate the validity of their respective arguments. On the real, I’m only here to talk about how she disrespected Rory, Budden’s podcast co-host.

*Sigh* Where do I start, son? Ok, the tomfoolery began when Budden went to Nicki’s Queen Radio show on Apple Music. Now, I think it’s safe to say that Nicki didn’t appreciate a lot of the narratives that Budden started on his show, The Joe Budden Podcast. Namely, she didn’t like the idea that she wasn’t knowledgeable about the smoke Cardi B had for her on Migos‘ “Motorsport.” In her eyes, people like Budden perpetuate the idea that she’s always being catty with other women rappers. In addition, she hated the fact that he suggested she was on drugs.

In any case, during the show, she went “hamburger helper” on Budden, man. Like, he couldn’t get a word in edgewise, fam. Shit, she basically shouted at him until security removed him from the premises, bruh. Needless to say, after this debacle, the internet lost its shit, son. However, this isn’t the end of the story, folks. Now, despite getting cursed out, Budden still had Nicki on as a guest on his podcast. From there, they continued their conversation about her place in the music industry.

Now, with all of that being said, let me get to the crux of the matter, man. Look, Nicki believes there’s a “hate train” against her. She believes that she’s unfairly maligned and constantly under public attack. Side bar, I personally think that a lot of it is bullshit and that she has an inability to critique her own behavior. But, that’s another story for another time, fam. Anyway, Budden’s podcast went off of the rails when she turned her cannons on Rory. Frankly, homie didn’t deserve the heat that came his way.

Basically, Rory tried to say that Nicki shouldn’t put so much of her focus on what people say about her on social media. From there, she bugged the fuck out, bruh. Hell, she proceeded to yell at him for the next ten minutes and insinuate that he was vilifying her for defending herself. Next, she suggested that she was going to make up a false rumor about Rory, just so he knew what it was like to be “lied” on.

Son, Rory’s entire point was that the opinion of random people on the internet should not matter to a person of her stature. Like, who gives a fuck about the Twitter account of someone with an egg avatar, man? At no point did he say that she was wrong for sticking up for herself. His only point was that internet trolls shouldn’t be given any power, fam. Responses fuel these idiots. Keeping it a buck, their thoughts don’t fucking matter, brethren. But, instead of comprehending what he was trying to say, she decided to shout at the top of her lungs and refuse to let him speak. Yeah, really mature, Nicki.

In the end, that podcast hurt my ears, bruh. Ultimately, if folks aren’t trying to have a civilized conversation, then there’s no point, son. By and by, I hope Nicki finds peace, man. All I know is, she’s one of the biggest artists in the world and shouldn’t pay this much attention to negativity, fam. At the end of the day, the music is all that matters, bruh. That is all. LC out.

P.S. What’s really good with Mal, son? Listen, I’ve heard him say NUMEROUS times on the podcast that cyber bulling isn’t real, man. Well, where was that hot take for Nicki, fam? Shit, he was quiet as a church mouse while she was on the rampage, bruh. All I can say is, if cyber bulling isn’t real, then Nicki’s problems aren’t real, brethren. The truth is, he should’ve kept that same energy. Good day.

Protect Soulja Boy At All Costs

So, I’m going to keep this post short, son. The fact of the matter is, Soulja Boy is a national treasure and should be treated as such. I mean, “Crank That (Soulja Boy)” hit me on a philosophical level, man. All jokes aside, if anyone’s in a bad mood, just yell “watch me yuuuuu” and witness the world brighten up. With all of that being said, I’m thoroughly enjoying all of Soulja’s recent shenanigans, fam. All in all, the man just wants his respect, bruh.

Ok, for those who missed it, Soulja Boy has been on a tear, son. First, he took to Instagram to proclaim that he had the biggest comeback in 2018. Frankly, he wasn’t trying to hear shit about Tyga or Meek Mill, man. Next, he went to The Breakfast Club to further dig into his bag, fam. Shit, who cares about Tyga’s collabo with Offset? Big Draco has MAD records with Migos. Who cares about Meek’s former beef with Drake? Soulja went to war with Chris Brown, bruh. Like, what else do folks need to know, brethren? All I can say is, Famous Dex better lay low. He doesn’t want that Stacks On Deck smoke, people.

In the end, I don’t know what else to say, son. Ultimately, this post pales in comparison to Soulja’s actual rants, son. By and by, everyone can check out ALL of the footage below. Real talk, I made my wife watch his IG rant last night, man. At the end of the day, that’s how hilarious it was, fam. Anyway, here’s some tomfoolery to lighten up everyone’s Friday. That is all. LC out.

P.S. I know I’m being an ass, but Soulja Boy really did give a lot of new artists the internet blueprint, son. Hell, he’s legitimately the first rapper that I remember blowing up online, man. So, all hail Big Draco! Good day.

God Bless Yung Miami & Cardi B

Disclaimer: Don’t watch City Girls’ “Twerk” video anywhere near a place of employment. You’re welcome.

So, let me keep it a buck, son. Generally, I try to be a responsible and respectable dude. I try to be a guy who’s knowledgeable about relevant and pertinent issues, man. However, for today, I’m just talking about ass, fam. I mean, it was EVERYWHERE in City Girls’ “Twerk” video, bruh! Like, all jokes aside, this might be the greatest music video ever made, people. With that being said, why is anyone still reading this?

Ok, for those who missed it, City Girls, well, Yung Miami, released the “Twerk” video with Cardi B. Now, I don’t exactly know what to say about this visual, son. Shit, there are copious amounts of women shaking all manners of culo, man. In addition, there’s a ton of body paint, stripper poles and entertaining displays of athleticism. On the real, what else could we possibly want from a video called “Twerk,” fam?

In the end, there’s nothing else to say, bruh. Ultimately, everyone needs to go watch the video, son. Also, I hope everybody paid close attention to my disclaimer. Seriously, don’t watch this shit anywhere near a place that supplies paychecks. Furthermore, don’t watch this around children or close to any clergy, man. At the end of the day, they’ll probably just start praying for wayward souls, fam. That is all. LC out.

P.S. Based on this video, Offset lost, bruh. Like, he really lost, son. *Sigh* Good day.

What The F*ck, Cardi B & Nicki Minaj?!

So, I won’t lie, son. On the real, both Cardi B AND Nicki Minaj need to be called out for unnecessary fuckery. At this point, what are they even beefing about, man? I mean, is it about who’s more successful? Is it about who raps better? Is it about who looks better? Well, let me tell them both something: NOBODY FUCKING CARES, FAM! Damn, both of these women are living their best lives but can’t seem to leave the dumb shit alone. All in all, New York Fashion Week is not the fucking time to throw hands, bruh!

Ok, to be clear, there are 80 million stories about why Cardi confronted Nicki at a Harper’s Bazaar party. According to Cardi, Nicki said something negative about Kulture, her daughter with Offset, and she wanted to lay hands on Nicki. Now, Nicki denies this but it seems as if she did like a tweet that said something disparaging about Kulture. In addition, Nicki previously dragged Stormi, daughter of Travis Scott and Kylie Jenner, into an argument about album sales. So, Nicki isn’t the most reliable source here, son.

In any case, Cardi thought it was a brilliant idea to confront Nicki at this NYFW party. Look, I have kids, so I understand wanting to molly-whop someone who slighted them. However, not at a fucking formal event, man! For God‘s sake, Cardi was wearing a damn Dolce & Gabbana dress! Let’s just say that ain’t the most functional outfit to scrap in, fam. On the real, both of these women are fucking wrong, bruh. Nicki is wrong for liking some bullshit on Twitter and Cardi is wrong for pressing the issue at this public event. Listen, these are grown fucking women, folks. They need to start acting like it.

In the end, I’m sick of hearing about this beef, son. Real talk, nothing positive has come out of this, man. Ultimately, Nicki looks like a bitter chick who’s mad that she finally has some commercial competition and Cardi looks like an uncontrollable wildcard who may block her blessings. At the end of the day, both women are too successful for this stupid shit, fam. By and by, they need to knock it the fuck off, bruh. Everybody loses here. That is all. LC out.

America, As Told By Childish Gambino

So, I’m not going to lie, son. Real talk, I have no interest in writing some elaborate think piece, man. I mean, at this point, A TON has already been said about Donald Glover‘s, excuse me, Childish Gambino‘s “This Is America” video. Frankly, there’s no way for me to add any new insight to the zeitgeist, fam. Side note, Blavity has my favorite write-up about the video so far. Feel free to check it out, folks. In any case, instead of trying to break new ground, I’d much rather speak on what resonates with me. All in all, there are a lot of gems in this joint. Allow me to speak about my favorites, bruh.

Ok, the first thing that jumps out at me is the dancing. Now, the actual moves that Gambino and the children are doing aren’t important, son. In actuality, they’re just a distraction from all of the fuckery going on in the background. On the real, it’s a perfect metaphor for this current generation, man. Look, these days, people only seem to be concerned with turning up, doing drugs and getting money. All the while, racism and classism have engulfed so much around us. All I know is, either we’re not paying attention or we’re just looking for an escape, fam.

Now, the next thing that jumps out at me is the gun violence. Namely, the fact that guns are treated better than people. Shit, after Gambino shoots a guitar player in the head, the gun is safely placed in a cloth. Meanwhile, the dead body is callously hauled away. Next, Gambino murders an entire church choir, but the AK-47 is delicately placed in another cloth. All I can say is, we all live in a country where the Second Amendment is more important than our lives. Keeping it a buck, I low key gave up on the idea of gun reform after Sandy Hook. Listen, if twenty dead children doesn’t inspire action, then what the fuck will, bruh? *Sigh* We can’t continue on like this, son.

Lastly, on a more positive note, I’m presently surprised by the vocals of Young Thug, 21 Savage, Slim Jxmmi, Quavo and BlocBoy JB. Being honest, I didn’t hear them at first, man. I guess I was too enthralled by what I was watching. Anyway, after hearing their adlibs, I’m excited by the fact they contributed to a song like this. Look, it can be said that artists like them have a heavy hand in the issues outlined in the second paragraph. But, they allow themselves to be part of a bigger cause. Now, I don’t know what that means going forward, but it’s super dope in the moment, fam.

In the end, well done, Childish Gambino! Ultimately, I dig the fact that he’s using his platform in such a manner. By and by, it’s easier to be “safe,” bruh. It’s easier to do what’s comfortable for the masses. At the end of the day, it’s much harder to jump off of the ledge, unsure of where the chips may fall. So, shout-out to Glover for not being safe. The way I see it, the times are waaaay too dangerous for that. Good day. LC out.

P.S. Since this post is about Glover, I also want to quickly discuss something else. Look, can Black people kill the narrative that a person can’t be pro-Black and date outside of the race? Listen, who gives a fuck if Glover’s significant other isn’t Black? Oh, is he suddenly clueless about minority issues because he fell in love with someone? Is he suddenly blind to systemic racism because he has a connection with someone? Knock it the fuck off, people! Everyone should be free to love who they love AND work towards community empowerment. That is all.

So… Nicki Minaj DOES Have A Problem With Cardi B

Well, well, well, what do we have here, son? After all of the speculation, theories and innuendo, it DOES appear that there’s tension between Nicki Minaj and Cardi B. However; the way I see it, the beef is one-sided, man. On one hand, Cardi seems to be steering clear of any potential conflict. On the other hand, Nicki is telling us that she’s been hurt by Cardi. All I know is, after her interview with Zane Lowe, no one can tell me that Nicki didn’t drop these new songs out of spite, fam.

Ok, so, where do we start with this story, bruh? Now, every since Cardi broke out on the music scene, she’s been compared to Nicki, son. I mean, it makes sense because Nicki is the biggest female rapper in the game. Frankly, she’s the beacon that every other woman gets compared to. Shit, with all of her hits, she’s earned that right, man. However; this feud always seemed weird because it never appeared like Cardi was shading Nicki. On the real, it always looked like Nicki was salty towards Cardi, fam.

Look, if I’m being honest, I can’t recall one time when Cardi said anything negative about Nicki. Hell, even when it came to the “Motorsport” debacle, all Cardi said was she never heard Nicki’s entire verse and that Nicki couldn’t make it to the video because of scheduling. Now, maybe I’m dumb, but I don’t hear a diss anywhere in there, bruh. But, while talking to Lowe, Nicki said that Cardi and Migos made her “look like a liar” and that Cardi was “[playing] the victim.” Please note, all of this was said days after Cardi told Ebro Darden that the beef between her and Nicki was fictional and made-up by the media.

Listen, let’s just cut through all of the bullshit, son. Keeping it a buck, everyone knows what this is really about, man. Look, Nicki also told Lowe that she never felt like Cardi gave her “genuine love.” Now, in layman’s terms, she believes that Cardi should be paying more homage to her. The funny thing is, this is EXACTLY the same issue that Lil’ Kim had with Nicki about a decade ago. Shit, it’s amazing how cycles just repeat themselves, fam. Nicki has now become the veteran that craves reverence. However; people thought Kim was a clown for wanting the same damn thing, bruh. *Sigh* All of this is hypocrisy at its finest, folks.

In the end, Nicki is waaaaay too successful to be this bitter, son. Ultimately, her spot in history is solidified, man. By and by, she should just let Cardi cook, fam. In addition, despite everything I’ve just said, Nicki’s new “Chun-Li” song is hard as fuck, bruh. Now, I may be a little indifferent to “Barbie Tingz,” but I’ll definitely keep that “Chun-Li” in rotation, people. At the end of the day, there’s room for everyone to eat, brethren. Just make good music and let nature take its course. That is all. LC out.