I Don’t Care About ‘Covfefe’

So, to be real, I wasn’t even going to write about this story, son. I mean, keeping it a buck, Donald Trump‘s inability to spell is not news. Look, his grammatical error game is strong on Twitter, man. Frankly, I’m surprised when he’s actually able to tweet a coherent thought, fam. That’s how rarely that event occurs, bruh. In any case, I don’t like how this nonsense is distracting us from the Trump administration’s usual fuckery. In any case, LC is here to remind everyone of just that, son.

Now, before I continue, let me get one thing out of the way. Man, someone needs to put Sean Spicer out of his misery, bruh. Listen, defending Trump MUST be killing him inside. Fam, this dude really stood behind a podium and said “the President and a small group of people know exactly what he meant.” Good fucking Lord, man! This administration can’t even admit to a fucking typo, son! That statement is one of the most preposterous collections of words I’ve ever heard in my life. Look, Spicer, NO ONE believes that bullshit, man! Absolutely no one.

Moving on, let me be perfectly clear about this entire brouhaha. I don’t care about “covfefe” because the House Intelligence Committee just subpoenaed Michael Flynn and Michael Cohen, Trump’s personal lawyer. I don’t care about “covfefe” because James Comey has agreed to testify before the Senate. I don’t care about “covfefe” because Trump is having a war of words with Angela Merkel, the Chancellor of Germany. As a reminder, Germany is an ally of ours. Needless to say, so much real shit is happening out here, we shouldn’t have time to worry about the fact that Trump is dumber than a fifth grader. We all need to be paying attention to the real issues, fam. It’s getting ugly out here, son. Really ugly.

In the end, we all know Trump is an idiot, man. That tidbit is not news. At this point, we all need to be worrying about the inner workings of this administration. Ultimately, the FBI and the intelligence committees need to get to the bottom of the real tomfoolery, son. Until then, please keep the stupidity out of the media, fam. Thanks. LC out.

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Donald Trump Loves Obstructing Justice

Now, I don’t know about anyone else out there, but I’m exhausted, son. I’m completely tired of the constant barrage of fuckery, man. Day after day after day, the American people have to deal with new levels of tomfoolery and idiocy. At some point, our backs are going to break from trying to stay afloat in the Donald Trump era. All in all, I can only hope that the end is near, fam. *Sigh* I can only hope, son.

So, I’m here today to talk about the latest development in the back-and-forth between Trump and James Comey. Apparently, back in February, when Comey still ran the FBI, Trump asked him to stop investigating Michael Flynn. To be fair, Trump didn’t ask him in those exact words. Instead, he told Comey that he hoped he would just “let it go.” Ultimately, we’re aware of this exchange because Comey kept detailed memos during his tenure with the Bureau.

Ok, keep in mind that Flynn is in trouble for lying about his communications with Sergey Kislyak, the Russian Ambassador. Keep in mind that Sally Yates warned Trump about Flynn’s dealings and noted that he could be blackmailed by the Russian government. With all of that information, Trump still urged Comey to look the other way when it came to Flynn. Now, why the fuck would he do that, man? On the real, why is Trump trying to circumvent justice in the name of a disgraced government employee?

Man, this is now the second time that Donald Trump has tried to interfere with investigations, fam. As of now, we all know that Comey was fired as FBI Director because he was looking into possible collusion between Trump’s administration and Russia. Now, we’re getting wind of the fact that Trump tried to dissuade Comey from looking into Flynn’s wrongdoings. *Sigh* I mean, what the actually fuck, man? Seriously, what in the fuck is really happening around here, son?

In the end, is the GOP going to continue to allow Trump to behave this way? Listen, he’s making an absolute mockery of our government. All I know is, his nonsense is past all of this bipartisan bullshit, son. Our own president is acting like a fucking criminal, man! Enough is fucking enough, fam! This clown needs to be impeached ASAP! By and by, nothing else will suffice. LC out.

Loose Lips Sink Countries

Man, at what point will Republicans say “enough is enough?” At what point will the GOP abandon their wayward leader? As of now, Donald Trump must be purposely trying to destroy democracy, son. I mean, why else would he continuously do such outrageously stupid shit? Look, all I know is, where there’s smoke, there’s fire, and the Oval Office is dealing with a five-alarm blaze right now.

Now, for anyone who missed it, there’s so much fuckery going on, bruh. It all began when Trump decided to invite Sergei Lavrov and Sergey Kislyak into the White House. To be clear, these men are Russia‘s Foreign Minister and Ambassador, respectively. Now, for the people keeping score, the American press wasn’t allowed in this meeting. However; pictures of this shindig surfaced on the Twitter account for Tass, a Russian state-run news agency. So, essentially, Russia had more insight into this gathering than our own people. Cool.

Moving on, this isn’t even the worst part of the story, man. Apparently, during this meeting with Vladimir Putin‘s cronies, Trump revealed classified information that could jeopardize an initiative against ISIS. Now, while the President has the authority to discuss anything he wants, the intelligence community is still scrambling to salvage whatever leverage they have against ISIS. All in all, Trump’s loose lips endangered vital intel and people. Side note, didn’t he run his entire campaign on the idea that Hillary Clinton couldn’t be trusted with classified information? Oh, ok, just checking.

So, with all of that being said, that’s not even the coup de grâce, son. Now, if anyone paid attention to the second paragraph, they’d notice that I mentioned the name “Sergey Kislyak.” This name is important because this is the same man who Michael Flynn got fired for speaking to! This is the same man who Jeff Sessions had to recuse himself over! Are you fucking kidding me, man?! Trump is really holding meetings with the dude at the CENTER of the collusion allegations against his administration?! Good fucking Lord, fam! How treacherous can one human being be?! It’s so fucking outlandish, son!

Ultimately, where are all of the Republicans with some cotdamn sense? All I know is, they need to distance themselves from this man NOW! Trump is taking this country straight to Hell and NO ONE is doing anything about it! Listen, at the moment, the GOP runs every branch of government. They have the power to put an end to this man’s madness. Please, for once, do the right fucking thing, folks! *Sigh* LC out.

Everybody Warned Y’all About Michael Flynn

Man, Michael Flynn is the gift that keeps on giving, huh? I mean, this dude’s fuckery is slowly bringing everyone down, son. At this point, the government may need to just quarantine him away from the general population. His tomfoolery is taking over people like Agent Smith in The Matrix. Ultimately, all I know is, Barack Obama and Sally Yates tried to warn Donald Trump about Flynn. If only President Tangerine listened.

So, now that the investigation into Flynn is picking up, we’re all learning new information about this situation. Apparently, when Obama had his transition meeting with Trump back in November, he told Cheeto-In-Chief to stay away from Flynn. I mean, lest we forget, Obama previously fired Flynn as the head of the Defense Intelligence Agency. As someone with basic common sense, if a predecessor gave me that type of warning, then maaaaybe I’d actually give his word some credence. However; I’m forgetting that we’re talking about Trump here.

Now, to add fuel to the fire, Sally Yates recently testified that she also warned Trump about Flynn. According to Yates, roughly a week into Trump’s presidency, she told him about Flynn’s correspondence with Russian operatives. Moving on, even with that knowledge, Trump STILL kept Flynn onboard for another three weeks. In actuality, Flynn wasn’t officially fired until Mike Pence got embarrassed for incorrectly downplaying Flynn’s actions in Russia. All in all, people had to start looking stupid for Flynn to get canned.

In the end, I don’t feel sorry for anyone here. Trump’s entire administration was told about Flynn and they still did nothing. As of now, Flynn is probably going to jail and I bet he’ll start snitching, son. Shit, all of these high-ranking officials better protect their necks, man. Indictments hit like spiked bats, fam. By and by, good riddance to all of them. LC out.

Don’t Fall For Donald Trump’s Ruse

Nah, son. No way. Go home. Get the fuck outta here. I’m not falling for the okie doke, bruh. I’m not going for the misdirection, man. On the real, I truly hope no one believes the gaffle here. Over the weekend, Donald Trump made insanely baseless accusations against Barack Obama. To be clear, this action was taken for one reason and one reason only: to distract from finding a link between Trump’s administration and Russia. It’s no coincidence that right as the Russia talk heats up, a new story is thrown against the wall. All I know is, it’ll take more than Twitter to fool me, son.

Now, before I continue, let me outline some FACTS. First, Michael Flynn, Trump’s former National Security Advisor, lied about being in contact with the Russian ambassador. For that move, he lost his job. Second, Jeff Sessions, Trump’s current Attorney General, ALSO lied about being in contact with the Russian ambassador. To make matters worse, Sessions told these fairy tales during his confirmation hearing. Meaning, he perjured himself. For that action, he has to recuse himself from any potential investigation between Trump and Russia. In addition, if any further dirt is discovered, then Sessions could also lose his job.

Moving on, let me outline some unfounded opinions. As it stands, Mark Levin is the man who started the rumor about Obama wiretapping Trump’s phones during the election. Now, for anyone who is unfamiliar with Levin, he’s a conservative radio host who has a documented history of saying wild shit about Obama. He’s long argued that Obama has initiated a “silent coup” within our government, enacting “martial law” through immigration, health care and law enforcement policies. In any case, Levin is the first person to claim that Obama was secretly monitoring Trump.

So, after Levin made his outrageous claims, the story ended up on Breitbart News. Side note, c’mon son, is anyone else seeing a pattern here? Once again, Steve Bannon’s repugnant ass website has dug its claws into the bullshit. Anyway, after seeing the tomfoolery on Breitbart, Trump fired off a series of tweets alleging that Obama tapped his phones during the campaign trail. Now, Trump wants an investigation into Obama’s mythical and fictitious deeds.

Ok, I have questions, son. First, if Trump has proof, then why does he need an investigation? Why doesn’t he just reveal the evidence he already has? Ohhhh, that’s because THERE IS NO EVIDENCE, MAN! This tactic is nothing more than a ruse to get people talking about this instead of Russia. The fucked up thing is, it’s working, son. Ever since Trump’s tweets, this story has been the topic of conversation on the news. Trump has successfully shifted the focus of both the public and the media. If I wasn’t so infuriated by the obvious ploy, I’d be impressed, man.

In the end, let’s cut the malarkey, son. I don’t want to hear about wiretaps and I don’t want to hear about leaks. Until the story is resolved, let’s find out what’s really good between Trump’s administration and Russia. If everything is aboveboard, then why is Trump’s staff constantly lying about speaking with Russian dignitaries? I mean, fuck conjecture, man. We know for a fact that people in this current regime have been less than truthful to the American public. At this point, I’m tired of the back and forth, man. I just want to know the truth… about everything. LC out.

P.S. FBI Director James Comey has already asked the Department of Justice to refute Trump’s claims. I find it very odd that they haven’t done so yet. The idiocy in our government is simply staggering, man. That is all.

Get Van Jones The F*ck Outta Here!

On the real, this Get (Blank) The Fuck Outta Here series is becoming way too common, man. I feel like I’m doing at least one new edition every week, son. In any case, I never thought I’d see the day when I would have to turn my crosshairs on Van Jones. The CNN-contributor has long been a vocal opponent of Donald Trump. However; after Trump’s speech on Tuesday, Jones decided to tuck his tail in between his legs. In one instant, Jones invalidated every stance he previously took. How? By insinuating that one speech could possibly change the course of Trump’s administration.

Now, Van Jones’ foolishness is baffling for a few reasons. He’s the same man who coined the phrase “Whitelash” while trying to explain why White voters backed Trump. Previously, he’s been very critical of Trump’s rhetoric and decision-making. Fast forward to Tuesday, Trump finally gave a speech in which he didn’t behave like an absolute child. All of a sudden, Jones changed his tune and said Trump “became President of the United States” after his performance. Taking it a step further, Jones praised Trump’s tribute to fallen Navy SEAL Ryan Owens. He called it “one of the most extraordinary moments you have ever seen in American politics, period.” This statement is mind-boggling because it completely negates the fact that Trump got that man killed in the first place.

Look, are we really supposed to be moved by the standing ovation for Owen’s widow, Carryn Owens? Her husband would still be alive if Trump’s administration wasn’t so poorly prepared for that raid in Yemen. Owens and an assortment of children, who no one talks about, ended up dying for outdated al-Qaeda intelligence. For example, one of the bomb-making videos recovered in that raid has been online since 2007. Was that a good enough reason for a soldier to die? I didn’t think so. Shut the fuck up, Van Jones!

Listen, Van, if you ever happen to read this, let me speak to you directly. Did Trump’s speech make you forget about Michael Flynn? Did Trump’s speech make you forget about the fact that Jeff Sessions perjured himself in regards to his contact with Russia? Did Trump’s speech make you forget that he’s trying to rewrite the Muslim Ban with newer parameters? Did Trump’s speech make you forget that Steve Bannon literally said he’s trying to “deconstruct” the administration? Man, AIN’T SHIT CHANGED! I refuse to believe that you’re THAT dumb to fall for a dude who was simply reading off of a teleprompter.

In the end, Van Jones played himself. Anytime someone loses their credibility, it’s almost impossible to get it back, son. All in all, I hope Jones has fun being a clown. Ultimately, that’s exactly what he is now. LC out.

Is Shepard Smith The Real MVP?

So, there are a few things I don’t believe I’ll ever see in life: a human being hit “The Note” from Sister Act 2, an actual album from Jay Electronica and someone from Fox News call Donald Trump out on his constant bullshit. Well, I guess I can cross one of those things off of the list, son. I mean, Shepard Smith just shocked the shit out of me yesterday. Watching him eviscerate Trump over his habitual fabrications was must-see-television, man! As expected, the Trump brigade is calling for his head as I write this. However; I’m ecstatic to finally see some GOP members grow a pair. Frankly, their party created Trump and it’s up to them to stop him.

Now, in case anyone missed it, Smith had one simple question for Trump: why does he tell SO MANY LIES? Smith brought up the fact that Trump can’t tweet or publicly speak without saying something wildly inaccurate. As an example, he referenced several statements that Trump made during his awkward ass press conference. He talked about the fact that Trump hasn’t given a good answer about what’s happening with Russia. Trump insists that his administration isn’t in cahoots with Vladimir Putin‘s, but if that was the case, then why was Michael Flynn fired?

Moving on, Smith also slammed Trump’s notion that he had the highest Electoral College victory since Ronald Reagan. Fuck semantics, that simply isn’t true, man. It shouldn’t matter whether or not someone is a Trump supporter, son. Facts are facts, regardless of how anyone feels about them. There is verifiable evidence to disprove A LOT of the information Trump spews into the mainstream. Smith is doing the right thing by taking Trump to task for his nonsensical ramblings.

Keeping it a buck, I was genuinely happy to see this, man. Like, at some point, even right-wing enthusiasts have to see the writing on the wall. Asking someone to be honest is not political, son. Trump is the fucking President, for God‘s sake! We don’t give a fuck about ratings, we don’t give a fuck about baseless claims of “fake news” and we don’t give a fuck about his fragile ego. We just want that man to do his fucking job. As it stands, he’s completely incapable of behaving as an elected official should, man. It’s actually frightening to watch, bruh.

Ultimately, we need more people like Smith. The more Republicans who hold Trump accountable, the better. Since they control Congress and will eventually control the Supreme Court, they’re our biggest line of defense. Keep in mind, I just threw up a little when I wrote that. However; it just is what it is, son. In any case, for today, and today only, Shepard Smith is the real MVP. LC out.