A Date With The Booty Warrior: Paul Manafort & Michael Cohen Edition

So, someone is going to prison, son. Specifically, Paul Manafort and Michael Cohen are most likely going to prison, son. All I know is, Robert Mueller ain’t playing with these motherfuckers out here, man. Shit, in one day, both Manafort and Cohen took massive L’s in the court of law. Now, regardless of what Donald Trump would like us to think, he’s in a world of shit, fam. Look, Manafort’s guilt might not rattle him, but Cohen’s guilt must be keeping him up at night.

Ok, for those who missed it, shit got real yesterday. To begin, Paul Manafort, Trump’s former campaign chairman, was found guilty on eight counts of tax and bank fraud. Basically, Manafort had been doing all manner of fuckery with his money, unbeknownst to the government. Now, that in and of itself would’ve been huge news, bruh. However, shit got even realer when Michael Cohen, Trump’s former lawyer, pleaded guilty to tax evasion, falsifying submissions to a bank and campaign finance violations.

Now, allow me to go into more detail about that last charge, son. Look, this is where shit gets murky for Trump, man. Essentially, Cohen admitted, under oath, that he unlawfully used money to pay off women for Trump. Even worse, he asserted that he did it at Trump’s request. So, Cohen definitively implicated the fucking President in a series of crimes, fam. *Sigh* What a day, bruh. What a fucking day.

Look, the way I see it, Cohen’s guilt is way more consequential than Manafort’s. As of right now, Manafort’s issues fall squarely on Manafort. But, Cohen’s issues go way beyond the man himself. Hell, the dude is out here saying that he has proof that the Leader of the Free World is a fucking criminal, son. I mean, what else needs to be said here, man? How much more tomfoolery has to occur before the GOP disavows Trump, fam? For God‘s sake, enough is enough, bruh. Trump is making a fucking mockery of his office, brethren.

In the end, it looks like Manafort and Cohen have respective dates with the Booty Warrior. Ultimately, prison is never worth all of the nonsense, son. By and by, there’s no going back now, man. We all need to see where this Mueller investigation goes. At the end of the day, this shit is off to a fiery start, fam. That is all. LC out.

P.S. Everyone needs to familiarize themselves with The Boondocks in order to understand the name of this post. Frankly, “A Date with the Booty Warrior” is one of the greatest episodes of any show ever. Shout-out to Aaron McGruder, bruh. Good day.

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I Don’t Care About ‘Covfefe’

So, to be real, I wasn’t even going to write about this story, son. I mean, keeping it a buck, Donald Trump‘s inability to spell is not news. Look, his grammatical error game is strong on Twitter, man. Frankly, I’m surprised when he’s actually able to tweet a coherent thought, fam. That’s how rarely that event occurs, bruh. In any case, I don’t like how this nonsense is distracting us from the Trump administration’s usual fuckery. In any case, LC is here to remind everyone of just that, son.

Now, before I continue, let me get one thing out of the way. Man, someone needs to put Sean Spicer out of his misery, bruh. Listen, defending Trump MUST be killing him inside. Fam, this dude really stood behind a podium and said “the President and a small group of people know exactly what he meant.” Good fucking Lord, man! This administration can’t even admit to a fucking typo, son! That statement is one of the most preposterous collections of words I’ve ever heard in my life. Look, Spicer, NO ONE believes that bullshit, man! Absolutely no one.

Moving on, let me be perfectly clear about this entire brouhaha. I don’t care about “covfefe” because the House Intelligence Committee just subpoenaed Michael Flynn and Michael Cohen, Trump’s personal lawyer. I don’t care about “covfefe” because James Comey has agreed to testify before the Senate. I don’t care about “covfefe” because Trump is having a war of words with Angela Merkel, the Chancellor of Germany. As a reminder, Germany is an ally of ours. Needless to say, so much real shit is happening out here, we shouldn’t have time to worry about the fact that Trump is dumber than a fifth grader. We all need to be paying attention to the real issues, fam. It’s getting ugly out here, son. Really ugly.

In the end, we all know Trump is an idiot, man. That tidbit is not news. At this point, we all need to be worrying about the inner workings of this administration. Ultimately, the FBI and the intelligence committees need to get to the bottom of the real tomfoolery, son. Until then, please keep the stupidity out of the media, fam. Thanks. LC out.