What The F*ck, Boogie Cousins?!

Man, what the fuck is going on out here, son? Like, is competition an antiquated concept? I mean, what’s the point of watching the NBA if EVERY superstar just decides to play together? All I know is, free agency has officially jumped the shark, fam. Keeping it a buck, DeMarcus Cousins signing with the Golden State Warriors is one of the most ridiculous deals I’ve ever seen, bruh. All in all, I may need to bow out of watching league games, folks.

Ok, for those who missed it, Cousins just one-upped LeBron James in the “How To Break Social Media” game. Apparently, after not receiving any offers from other teams, because of his fucked up Achilles, Cousins decided to call the Warriors. From there, the two sides worked out a one-year deal that would bring Cousins to The Bay for $5.3 million. So, if we’re keeping count, the Warriors now have FIVE players who have been selected to an All-NBA Team. Shit, at this point, should these other teams even show up to play next season?

Look, here’s my issue with all of this, son. On the real, it seems as if players no longer want to compete against each other. Ok, Cousins did nothing wrong, according to the rules, but shit, what happened to rivalries? What happened to players going at one another, man? Hell, everyone just wants to stack the deck now and gang up on undermanned teams. Honestly, all of this shit is corny, fam. All I can say is, Cousins went from wanting to beat the shit out of Kevin Durant to joining his team. *Sigh* It’s fucking ridiculous, bruh!

Keeping it a buck, I blame LeBron and the Boston Celtics for all of this new age fuckery, son. Listen, this era began when Paul Pierce, Kevin Garnett and Ray Allen teamed up. Now, as the story goes, that Celtics team gave James headaches, which caused him to join the Miami Heat with Dwyane Wade and Chris Bosh. From there, the floodgates were opened, man. Years later, Durant joins the Warriors and now this Boogie shit. Frankly, these free agency deals are nothing more than the culmination of an issue that’s been brewing for almost a decade, fam.

In the end, fuuuuuuuuuck, bruh! *Sigh* How can I even watch basketball next season, son? Ultimately, we KNOW how it’s all going to end, man. By and by, the Warriors were going to win another title without Cousins. So, it’s a foregone conclusion that they’re going to three-peat, fam. At the end of the day, let me get a contract too, Warriors. Look, the cartilage in my right knee is trash, but my jumper is still pure, folks. That is all. LC out.

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Don’t Tell Me You’re A Lakers Fan Now

So, he really did it, huh? LeBron James really signed with the Los Angeles Lakers, huh? Shit, after all of the theories and all of the speculation, he really moved to the Western Conference, huh? All in all, my least favorite part of being a basketball aficionado is about to go into overdrive, son: dealing with bandwagon fans. All I know is, I don’t want to hear ANY of these new motherfuckers try to convince me that they’re Lakers fans now, man.

Look, I may be wrong, but I feel like James is responsible for this new era of fandom. Like, instead of being fans of teams, people have become fans of players. Because of this, whatever team their favorite player is on, that’s the team these people root for. Hell, in James’s case, I’ve watched folks be Cleveland Cavaliers fans, then Miami Heat fans and back to Cavs fans. Real talk, they don’t know ANYTHING about these teams other than the fact that James was on them. In any case, despite the reality that it’ll irritate the SHIT out of me, I’m already preparing myself for these brand new Lakers “fans.”

In the end, the next NBA season is about to be WILD, fam! Ultimately, it looks like I’ll finally get my wish of seeing new teams in the Finals, bruh. All I can say is, James’s run of consecutive Finals appearances is over, son. I mean, there’s NO WAY he’s getting past the Golden State Warriors, man. Seriously, he has NO chance in the 9 Circles of Hell, fam.

As of right now, I’m picking Kevin Durant, Steph Curry and the Warriors to face Kyrie Irving and the Boston Celtics in the Finals. By and by, we’ll see how this Lakers experiment will work for James. The way I see it, he’s waiting for Kawhi Leonard to join him next year. For now, he’ll just have to put up with the shenanigans of Lonzo Ball and Kyle Kuzma. That is all. LC out.

This XXXTentacion Sh*t Is Wild!

Look, let me keep it a buck, son. I’d be a hypocrite if I wrote an entire post singing XXXTentacion‘s praises, man. I mean, on this very blog, I’ve been critical of his alleged criminal behavior. However, with all of that being said, no one deserves to die the way he did, fam. Shit, XXX’s death is yet another example of why this hood shit is for the fucking birds, bruh. All in all, this type of violence needs to be COMPLETELY eradicated, brethren.

Ok, for those who missed it, XXX was killed yesterday in Miami, Florida. Apparently, he was leaving a motorcycle dealership when two men ran up on his car. Now, the rumor is these dudes were trying to rob him. Further than that, the word is the shooters made off with his Louis Vuitton bag. So, let me get this straight, son. A fucking LV bag is worth a man’s life? A 20-year-old dude? Like, think about that, man. XXX didn’t even make it to drinking age, fam. *Sigh* Dying over material possessions is the most senseless shit in the world, bruh.

Listen, I’m not going to pretend like I’m well-versed in XXX’s music. Shit, I was off that wave when I heard about his alleged crimes against women. But, I can’t front like his death didn’t throw me for a loop, son. Look, for all of his faults, he was still young as hell, man. Shit, he was young enough to make amends for his actions and improve as a human being. However, he no longer has that opportunity, fam. And for what, a bag? Money? Jewelry? Hell, NONE of that shit is worth a life, bruh. This “crabs in a barrel” mentality is among the most treacherous pitfalls in Black and Brown communities.

In the end, the lost of life is always sad, son. Ultimately, XXX didn’t deserve to die over something so petty, man. By and by, I hope all of these new artists learn from this, fam. At the end of the day, life can be short and there’s no time to waste it over frivolous behavior. In addition, there’s no room in our community for such levels of jealousy and violence. All of the bullshit has to stop, bruh. That is all. LC out.

P.S. All of these videos of folks dying need to stop being circulated, son. Good fucking Lord, let’s have some respect for people’s lives, man! At some point, idiots on social media need to quit doing shit for likes and comments, fam. All I know is, a person’s death should NEVER be used for attention-seeking and clout-chasing. Good day.

Stay Free, Meek Mill

So, Meek Mill is actually free, son. After five months in prison, his bail request was actually granted, man. Now, as a fan of his music, I must say that it’s good to see him out. However, I wouldn’t be me if I didn’t keep it a buck, fam. All in all, at this point in time, Meek only has one obligation: stay the fuck outta prison, bruh!

Ok, look, I’m not going to go in depth about how I view his situation. On the real, I already did that in an entire post, son. In actuality, I just want to give the dude some advice, man. Now, before I continue, let me get some things out of the way. First, I wholeheartedly believe that the Justice System victimizes Black people. Second, I also believe that Meek’s two-to-four year prison sentence was outlandish. Third, I’m well aware of the credibility issues of his original arresting officer. With all of that being said, Meek needs to lay fucking loooooow, fam!

Listen, from my perspective, someone in Meek’s position needs to be WAY more careful than the average person. Real talk, it’s no secret that our court system is designed to keep individuals, namely minorities, under their boot. Now, if we know all of that, we can’t give them ANY reason to helm us up, bruh! As of right now, Meek needs an entire new team, son. Frankly, he needs to keep his attorney, Joe Tacopina, and get rid of ANYBODY who isn’t helping to maintain his freedom. Look, “keeping it real” is all good until those prison bars show up.

In the end, there’s nothing else to say, man. Ultimately, I just hope Meek learned a valuable lesson, fam. By and by, he needs to stay FAR AWAY from anything that’s going to get him trapped again. Furthermore, he needs to cut off anyone who isn’t steering him in the right direction. At the end of the day, he better not let the law get him again, bruh. That is all. LC out.

Catch These Hands: Donald Trump & Joe Biden Edition

Son, what world are we living in right now? I mean, what’s really good with our country when our elected officials are offering each other the fade? Look, at this point, I’m not pointing the finger at Donald Trump over Joe Biden. All in all, both of these old ass dudes are ridiculous for trying to square up with each other. Shit, can these fuckity-fucks just do what they’ve been elected to do?

Ok, for those who missed it, Biden was giving a speech at the University of Miami. Now, while speaking about Trump’s Access Hollywood comments, Biden stated that, in high school, he would’ve taken Trump “behind the gym and beat the hell out of him.” *Sigh* The former Vice President of the United States, ladies and gentlemen! First off, not only is a 75-year-old man talking about what he’d do in high school, but he’s also talking about engaging in fisticuffs. Good Lord, is that how we handle politics now? Listen, if that were the case, then just let a boxer or an MMA fighter run for office, son.

In any case, OF COURSE Trump had to respond, man. Now, in true President Orange fashion, Trump tweeted that Biden would “go down fast and hard, crying all the way.” Word? Trump is fluent in the art of the beatdown? Fam, if these dudes don’t get the FUCK outta here, bruh! Real talk, who are any of these dudes fooling, people? Keeping it a buck, I can’t believe this is how politicians are addressing issues in 2018. On the real, jabs and hooks are how we solve issues in middle school, folks. By and by, this is not how I want Washington to fix its problems, son.

In the end, fuck all of the dumb shit, man. Ultimately, someone needs to tell these guys to grow up, fam. I mean, not only are these dudes running the government, but they’re also old as fuck. In addition, since neither one of them have actually seen any war, I don’t want to hear any of the tough guy talk, bruh. Everybody just needs to knock it off, son. That is all. LC out.

LeBron James Traded EVERYONE!

Now, look, I don’t actually believe that LeBron James is single-handedly responsible for all of the Cleveland Cavaliers‘s moves before the NBA trade deadline. However; it’s just funnier to phrase it that way, son. With that being said, “The Land” OD’ed yesterday, man. I mean, I knew they were struggling and needed help. But, I never expected them to make so many damn changes in one shot. All in all, they had a BUSY ass day yesterday, fam!

So, let’s recap all of the tomfoolery that went down, bruh. Now, long story short, the Cavs no longer look like the Cavs we’re used to. Isaiah Thomas? Gone. Dwyane Wade? Gone. Derrick Rose? Gone. Iman Shumpert? Gone. Channing Frye? Gone. Jae Crowder? Gone. Lawrence Charles? Gone. Ok, maybe not me, but we all get the picture, son. Basically, the entire roster was sent to either the Miami Heat, Los Angeles Lakers, Utah Jazz or Sacramento Kings. In their place, the Cavs got back Jordan Clarkson, Larry Nance, Jr., George Hill and Rodney Hood.

Anyway, I’m not surprised that the Cavs made moves before the deadline. However; I’m surprised that they made so many moves, man. Listen, the Cavs sucked, fam. I mean, REALLY sucked, bruh. Keeping it a buck, this season gave me a whole new appreciation for Kyrie Irving. Shit, that man went to the Boston Celtics and made them legit title contenders. On the other hand, he left the Cavs in COMPLETE disarray, son. The way I see it, the Cavs had no chance of making it back to the Finals with their current team. Frankly, it was either do or die, man.

In the end, we’ll see if all of these trades make any damn difference. Ultimately, the Celtics are the team to beat in the East, fam. In any case, I still don’t see anyone beating the Golden State Warriors anyway. By and by, all of this commotion may be for nothing, bruh. At the end of the day, I’ll be watching, son. On the real, I’ve been waiting for the NBA to get more interesting. Hell, we can’t have the same ass teams competing for the chip every year, man. That is all. LC out.

Does Donald Trump Know Puerto Rico Is Part Of America?

So, what’s the difference between Puerto Rico, Texas and Florida? I mean, all three places were battered by hurricanes. Also, all three places house American citizens. Look, whether it was Hurricane Harvey, Irma or Maria, each land was devastated by Mother Nature. So, I ask again, what’s the difference between Puerto Rico, Texas and Florida? The fact that Donald Trump doesn’t give a fuck about the citizens in Puerto Rico.

Now, for those who missed it, Trump spent this past weekend blaming Puerto Rico for their own misfortunes. Instead of commenting on the fact that fellow Americans don’t have power or running water, he talked about the land’s debt. Instead of heeding Carmen Yulín Cruz‘s pleas for help, he criticized her leadership and falsely claimed that relief efforts were great. Once again, instead of having genuine compassion for people, Trump turned another tragedy into politics.

Fam, Trump actually had the audacity to say that Puerto Rico wants everything done for them. Shit, did he say that to the Houston residents who begged Joel Osteen for shelter? Did he say that to Miami residents who watched South Beach get damn near washed away? Nah, Trump only took that tone with the Brown people, son. Look, no one can tell me that race isn’t a factor when these people need help just like any other citizen. All in all, Puerto Ricans did nothing to deserve such blatant disrespect, man.

In the end, I’m surprised that Trump can still surprise me. I mean, the lack of regard for people under his jurisdiction is staggering, fam. Then again, he’s probably like the 46% of Americans who don’t even know that Puerto Ricans are fellow citizens. *Sigh* It’s Monday morning and my head already hurts, bruh. I’m gonna go now. LC out.