I’m Not Paying For A Wall

I’m not paying for a wall. I’m not paying for a wall. I’m not paying for a wall. I’m not paying for a wall. I’m not paying for a wall. I’m not paying for a wall. I’m not paying for a wall. I’m not paying for a wall. I’M NOT PAYING FOR A WALL! I’M NOT PAYING FOR A WALL!!!

Do these GOP assholes understand what I’m saying right now? The American people have no fucking business paying for Donald Trump‘s imaginary wall along the Mexican border. Look, everything about this wall is ridiculous, son. First, it’s inherently racist. Republicans have painted Mexicans as nothing but a group of rapists and criminals who are here to take everyone’s jobs. Despite the fact that there is no evidence to support this widespread belief, this type of rhetoric has been used to dupe gullible Americans. Now, Congress is trying to make the citizens foot the bill for Trump’s passion project.

Now, every facet of this wall has been problematic from the beginning. During his presidential campaign, Trump constantly said that Mexico would pay for the wall’s construction. With that being said, the Mexican government has made it abundantly clear that no such thing will happen. So, if Mexico basically told us to go fuck ourselves, then who will be responsible for ponying up the money? All I know is, it damn sure won’t be me, son.

Keeping it a buck, my resolve is now even stronger after watching a press conference with Mitch McConnell and Paul Ryan. These fools really said this wall is going to cost between $12 billion and $15 billion. Bruh, what? What?! How many billions of dollars?! Man, get these Ronald McDonald-ass clowns the fuck outta here, son! On the real, unless we go to war with Mexico, there’s no way we can make them pay for this tomfoolery. All in all, not one red cent of my tax money better help fund this bullshit, man!

Ultimately, I want the GOP to take their Secure Fence Act and shove it up their asses, bruh. If they want to be bigots against an entire group of people, then tell them to use their own bread, son. I mean, they have more money than all of us anyway. *Sigh* I’m going to go find some bourbon, man. LC out.

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Thank You, America

Thank you, America. Thank you for hating Hispanics. Thank you for hating Muslims. Thank you for hating Black people. Thank you for hating women. Thank you for hating the LGBTQ community. Thank you for hating disabled people. Thank you for hating every group of individuals Donald Trump has shitted on over the course of this election. America, you have emphatically shown us what type of despicable country you are and what you actually value: bigotry across all platforms. Bravo, America! Fucking bravo!

At this point, I could write two sentences or I could write an entire dissertation. I’m truly fucking confused by what happened last night. People, please tell me I’m dreaming. Please tell me Trump isn’t really the next president of our country. Please tell me we didn’t let an overwhelming wave of hate, irrational fear and stupidity guide the future of our nation. Look, I’m absolutely APPALLED by the people of this country. I just hope we’re all ready for a strong presence of racism, sexism, xenophobia, religious persecution and tax breaks for the rich. We’ve already seen bigots become way more emboldened as Trump gained power, and with him going to the Oval Office, I don’t see that weakening any time soon. When we add up a Republican presidency, Senate, House, and most likely, Supreme Court, that equals four years of unadulterated HELL!

In the end, I have nothing else to say, son. Nothing at all, man. All I know is, I’m not writing shit for the rest of this week, possibly longer. I’m done. Fucking done here. As my fiancée always says, “this country isn’t for us.” In this case, the “us” is literally EVERY disenfranchised group. Goodbye.

P.S. I don’t want to hear SHIT from anyone who didn’t vote or voted for a third-party candidate. They, along with a higher turnout of uneducated White voters, allowed this nonsense to happen. Thanks for absolutely nothing, y’all.

Shout-out To All Of My ‘Bad Hombres’

So, the debate, huh? They’re all finally over, huh? Thank the Lord, son. I couldn’t take one more of these outrageous debacles. I mean, if I really wanted to have my intelligence insulted, I’d go argue with a New England Patriots fan about the “Tuck Rule.” Side note, Pats fans, let’s cut the bullshit, man. Tom Brady fumbled the ball in that game. We all saw it on camera, bro. In any case, I’ve officially had enough of this presidential election. I’m tired of commenting on it and I’m tired of seeing the faces of Donald Trump and Hillary Clinton. With that being said, good ol’ Trump left us all with one last gem: “bad hombres.”

Look, if anyone pays any attention to the news today, all of the pundits are on fire about a different Trump comment. Essentially, the man said he can’t guarantee that he’ll accept the outcome of the election if he loses. That statement is unprecedented because no other candidate has ever questioned the voting process this much BEFORE people went to the polls. In my eyes, he’s looking for an excuse for his inevitable loss. At this point, he’s behind is damn near every poll, son. So, instead of chalking his failure up to his ridiculous campaign, he’d rather point fingers and make nefarious allegations about voter fraud. Please note, these theories have been debunked by nearly everyone with a brain.

Now, while his stance about voting practices is the talk of the town, I’d rather speak about his “bad hombres” statement. Man, this dude just refuses to leave Hispanics alone, bro. Since the beginning of his campaign, he’s blamed Mexicans and other Hispanics for basically all of the crime going on in this country. Either they’re rapists, drug dealers or just crooked people. Yet and still, he somehow believes Hispanics will vote for him in a few weeks. I really don’t understand how that man thinks, son. He throws them under the bus EVERY chance he gets and still wants them to support him. That’s like me repeatedly kicking someone in the nuts and then looking for them to give me a job referral. It doesn’t work that way, bro. Not at all.

Ultimately, the “bad hombres” comment was the pinnacle of condescending rhetoric. Not only is he making unwarranted accusations about an ENTIRE group of people, but he’s mocking their language in the process. I mean, I can’t even properly quantify how fucked up that is, man. That’s like a cop saying “it’s lit” right before putting five bullets in my ass. This dude is a straight up cartoon character, but none of us find him funny. Wait, that’s probably why he’s always orange, man. He really is playing the part of a clown, son. All in all, I’m just glad this election cycle is nearly over. Now, we all need to make sure we do our part to keep this man FAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAR away from the Oval Office. Good day.