Dave Chappelle Doesn’t Give A F*ckity-F*ck

So, here we are, son. It’s 2019 and Dave Chappelle, the G.O.A.T., is back with another comedy special. Now, before I even watched Dave Chappelle: Sticks & Stones, I saw a couple of think pieces about why people shouldn’t view the Netflix special. All in all, I think it’s a terrible time to be a comedian, man. I mean, everyone is so damn sensitive and can’t see the humor in anything anymore.

Ok, to be clear, is Chappelle being offensive in this special? Absolutely, fam. But, he’s literally based his entire career on saying provocative shit, bruh. Hell, has anybody ever seen Chappelle’s Show? Son, the first fucking episode featured Clayton Bigsby, a Black White supremacist. Meaning, Chappelle has spent this whole time pushing the envelope, man. So, why is every joke seemingly off limits now?

My thing is, folks don’t have to find his jokes funny. Frankly, comedy is subjective as fuck, fam. Personally, I thought the special was hilarious, bruh. Now, does that mean I hate transgender people? No. Does that mean I hate the #MeToo movement? No. It just means that I can find humor in fucked up situations. For God‘s sake, that’s what comedy has done since the beginning of time, son. The truth is, no one batted an eye when Chappelle made racially-charged jokes for years. But, if he speaks on anything else, now he needs to be “cancelled?” The way I see it, folks can get the fuck outta here, man.

Listen, Chappelle basically said as much when he talked about getting called out for saying “faggot” on Chappelle’s Show. Look, he legitimately asked why he could say “nigger,” but couldn’t say “faggot.” To me, that’s a good fucking question, fam. So, only a certain type of offensive language is acceptable? If we’re keeping it a buck, ALL of the jokes were in “bad taste.” But, that’s what made them funny. All I know is, everybody needs to lighten up, bruh.

Now, I’m sure that some people are going to hate on me for writing this post. However, I laughed when he talked about Michael Jackson. I laughed when he talked about R. Kelly. I laughed at the jokes about Kevin HartJussie Smollett, school shootings AND the opioid crisis. Individually, are any of these subjects comical? Fuck no, son. But, finding humor in despair has always been part of the genre. All I can say is, society has lost the ability to laugh along the way. Hell, everything has become so serious and it’s a fucking buzzkill, man.

In the end, let me say it again, fam: I’m not telling anyone to like Chappelle’s special. Ultimately, I just think people need to relax. By and by, we laughed with Richard Pryor when he made a joke about setting himself on fire. The real is, he was high out of his mind and tried to kill himself. In addition, all of Eddie Murphy‘s specials are inappropriate as fuck. But, we just went along for the ride, bruh. At the end of the day, I don’t think Chappelle is being hateful at all. I just believe he finds humor in sensitive topics, son. On the real, we all used to have that ability. That is all. LC out.

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Cardi B: When Keeping It Real Goes Wrong

So, let me begin this post by saying that I’m a Cardi B fan. I mean, if anyone has read my blog, they’d know that, son. On the real, I’ve always appreciated the fact that she’s herself, regardless of the situation. On top of that, she’s from the Bronx, so that’s just code, man. With all of that being said, she needs to knock off the dumb shit, fam. Listen, we all know that she had a life before Rap. However, she needs to keep some of that shit to herself, bruh.

Ok, for those who missed it, Cardi is getting flamed for some shit she said on Instagram three years ago. So, based on her own admissions, she used to rob men during her stripper days. Now, to take it a step further, she admitted to luring men in who wanted to have sex with her, drugging them and THEN robbing them. Apparently, she did all of this because of “limited options.” Listen, I didn’t put “limited options” in quotations because I don’t believe she struggled. I phrased it like that because that’s still no fucking excuse, son. Look, I’m not naïve to crime, man. I’ve seen my fair share of fuckery while growing up in the Bronx, fam. But, she’s crazy if she thinks that people co-sign any of this behavior, bruh. Wrong is wrong is wrong, folks.

In addition, she ain’t need to confess to any of this shit, bruh. Like, this is the type of tomfoolery that got Liam Neeson in trouble. Real talk, no one needed to know that Neeson was looking for random Black dudes to kill, son. The same way that no one needed to know that Cardi was out here drugging dudes and doing Lord knows what to them. Now, instead of just tending to business, the public is looking at the both of them crazy, man. Hell, in the #MeToo era, Cardi can’t be out here talking about drugging people, fam. That’s the same shit that got Bill Cosby (rightfully) hemmed up.

In the end, Cardi needs to leave the past in the past. Ultimately, we already know that she’s not a perfect individual, bruh. By and by, she doesn’t need to keep reaffirming this. At this point, she’s just incriminating herself, son. Just watch, a bunch of dudes are about to come out and claim that Cardi did this to them. *Sigh* All of these younger artists just like snitching on themselves on social media, man. I just hope they know that the cops are listening, fam. That is all. LC out.

P.S. I don’t like the false equivalence between her actions and being a drug dealer. Yes, both are crimes, but at least a crackhead chose to do crack, son. All in all, Cardi’s victims ain’t choose shit, man. They just woke up with their possessions (and pride) gone. Keeping it a buck, I can guarantee that they didn’t sign up for that, fam. Good day.

Raising Sons In The #MeToo Era

So, before I even begin, let me keep it a buck, son. Now, as of today, both of my sons are under 10 years old. Meaning, I’m not even ready for them to be dating in any capacity, man. Shit, if it ain’t about Nintendo or comic books, my brain can’t handle it, fam. Real talk, I thought about locking my oldest son in his room when he told my wife and I that he had a girlfriend last year. But, that’s another story, bruh. In any case, as a father who’s responsible for raising two boys, there are some things they need to understand in the #MeToo era.

Ok, before I continue, it’s story time, son. Now, one particular night as a freshman in college, I thought I was going to get lucky. It was a Friday night and I was playing wingman for my homie. Anyway, during the course of getting ripped on brown liquor, this girl started kissing me. Moving on, I happened to catch a glance at her eyes and she looked like she was on another planet. Like, the alcohol had REALLY taken a toll on her, man. From there, I stopped the make-out session, helped her get in bed and went back to my room. The next day, she thanked me for looking out for her.

Now, I didn’t tell that story to look like some good dude, fam. Honestly, I thought it was common sense to not get down with someone who was clearly compromised. However, as time went on, I learned that I might be in the minority, bruh. Shit, it’s 2019 and I’m still taken aback by a lot of the stories that women have told me, son. On the real, I have no idea why consent is such a foreign concept to some guys, man. All I know is, it’s my responsibility to let my boys know that no one owes them anything.

Real talk, consent goes beyond “no means no,” fam. Power dynamics matter. Age differences matter. Hell, judging by the story I just told, intoxication matters, bruh. All I can say is, I want my sons to avoid any potential grey areas, man. Yeah, life can be confusing at times, but there should never be any question on if somebody wants to bump uglies. All in all, it’s my job to prepare my children for what they may face in the real world. Hopefully, I don’t righteously fuck them up, brethren.

In the end, I’m no genius, son. Frankly, I’m a moron who’s figuring out this parenting shit as I go, man. However, my kids’ behavior will be a reflection of the values that I’ve instilled in them. With that being said, I don’t want them to contribute to the problem, fam. Ultimately, I want them to thrive in the #MeToo and #TimesUp era. I want them to be examples of how to conduct oneself in these serious times. At the end of the day, I definitely have my work cut out for me, bruh. That is all. LC out.

P.S. Shout-out to my brother BK for giving me the idea for this post. Salute, my guy! Good day.

My Question About Bill Cosby: Do We Really Want Justice?

So, the day has actually arrived, son. Bill Cosby, TV dad to a generation of people, is actually going to prison. Look, I won’t lie, man. I have conflicted feelings about this, fam. On one hand, he’s getting exactly what he deserves for abusing numerous women. On the other hand, it’s a damn shame that this has overshadowed everything he’s ever built, bruh. But, that’s what happens when someone has a long history of deviance, folks. In any case, I want to ask the people out there (mostly Black) one question: do we really want justice or do we want to be able to get away with the same crimes as White people?

Ok, before I continue, let me make one thing clear: I’m not here to argue about Cosby’s guilt, son. By now, if anyone hasn’t heard his 2005 deposition where he admits to giving women drugs so he can have sex with them, then that person is lost, man. Face it, Cosby did that shit, fam. Anyway, in the aftermath of his sentencing, social media has been in a tizzy, bruh. Real talk, a lot of the commentary seems to be around the idea that only Cosby, a Black man, is suffering the consequences of his actions. Furthermore, people would like to know why people like Harvey Weinstein and Kevin Spacey haven’t suffered the same fate.

Listen, I agree with the idea that monsters like Weinstein and Spacey need to be held accountable. However, are we saying that since they haven’t paid the price yet that Cosby shouldn’t have to pay? Is that the wave we’re on? So, are our complaints about sexual abuse or the fact that Cosby is the only convicted celebrity? Ideally, I want everybody to go down for their treachery, son. Shit, I don’t want Cosby to be free just because Weinstein is free. I mean, that literally doesn’t make sense, man. All in all, a criminal shouldn’t be excused just because another criminal hasn’t been busted yet. So, instead of asking for Cosby’s release, we need to ask for all of the abusers to get helmed up, fam.

In the end, we need to let the hero worship die, bruh. Ultimately, we all know the justice system isn’t fair, son. But, that doesn’t mean we need to excuse Cosby’s behavior, man. By and by, he needed to pay for his crimes, fam. At the end of the day, people like Weinstein and Spacey also need to pay for their crimes. All I can say is, I don’t put them in different categories, bruh. Wrong is wrong is wrong. That is all. LC out.

The Women Supporting Brett Kavanaugh Confuse Me

So, I won’t lie, son. Today’s post is more of a philosophical debate than an indictment on Brett Kavanaugh. Frankly, I have no idea what to make of the allegations against him, man. Shit, Christine Blasey Ford could very well be telling the truth about her high school encounter with Kavanaugh. Deborah Ramirez could very well be telling the truth about her Yale University encounter with Kavanaugh. Keeping it a buck, we’ll only know for sure once the facts come out, fam. However, the women who are so quick to defend Kavanaugh confuse, bruh. Look, in the era of #MeToo and #TimesUp, what does it mean when women don’t believe women’s stories of assault?

Look, I was inspired to write this when I saw roughly 75 women hold a press conference to support Kavanaugh. Essentially, they were there to refute all of the claims against him and establish his credibility. My thing is, why are all of these women so ready to dismiss the accusations against him? Do they believe that their personal relationships with him automatically mean that he couldn’t have committed these acts? Man, one thing has absolutely nothing to do with the other, son. Listen, just because they had a positive experience with him doesn’t mean that he didn’t assault these women. All I know is, we’re looking at a group of women victim-shame other women. Clearly, that’s not a good look for anyone, fam.

The way I see it, situations like this damage the #MeToo and #TimesUp movements, bruh. Real talk, if women don’t even have other women as allies, then how can behavior be changed and justice be served? Now, like I alluded to earlier, I have no idea what happened between Kavanaugh, Ford and Ramirez. Frankly, no one does but the parties involved, son. However, it’s unnerving how fast people will ignore problematic claims when they involve someone they know. Hell, we saw the same shit happen with Lena Dunham. Listen, she was a “feminist” until a guy she knew got accused, man. Then, all of a sudden, a woman’s claims shouldn’t be taken seriously. All in all, this sets a dangerous precedent, fam.

In the end, I don’t know what’s going on, son. Ultimately, this entire Supreme Court process has been a shit-show, man. By and by, there are a multitude of reasons why Kavanaugh shouldn’t be allowed on the bench, fam. At the end of the day, if these allegations are true, this just solidifies it, bruh. All I can say is, if Ford and Ramirez are being real, then every last one of Kavanaugh’s supporters should be ashamed of themselves, brethren. That is all. LC out.

Mollie Tibbetts’ Murder Isn’t About Immigration

Keeping it a buck, situations like this is why I hate politics, son. I mean, elected officials will use ANY tragedy to further their agenda, man. Now, in the case of Mollie Tibbetts, her murder has already been politicized, fam. Like, instead of focusing on the tragedy of her death, politicians are using her untimely end to bolster their own arguments. All in all, I don’t want to hear shit about immigration, bruh. Frankly, Tibbetts’ death had NOTHING to do undocumented individuals.

Ok, for those who are unaware, Mollie Tibbetts was murdered in horrible fashion. So, back in July, Tibbetts, a 20-year-old student at the University of Iowa, disappeared after an evening run. Now, up until this past Tuesday, no one knew what happened to her. All of this changed after a body was found, with stab wounds littered all over. As of right now, Cristhian Bahena Rivera, a 24-year-old illegal immigrant from Mexico, confessed to the crime. Apparently, Tibbetts rebuked his advances and he killed her.

Now, based on the fact that Rivera is from Mexico, immigration haters couldn’t wait to latch onto this story. Donald Trump, Fox News and loads of conservative pundits used this tragedy as an example of why we need new laws and the border wall. Side note, I never thought I’d give Geraldo Rivera props. But, shout-out to him for calling Fox News out on their skewed coverage of this case. Fuck him otherwise, son. In any case, while erroneously attributing Tibbetts’ death to immigration, folks are missing the real factor here: violence against women.

Look, it goes without saying that women are in danger in this country. Day after day, week after week, women are attacked by men for a myriad of bullshit reasons. Real talk, Rivera killed Tibbetts because she didn’t give him what he wanted. Not because he’s from Mexico, man. On the real, this immigration narrative is distracting from the fact that something needs to be done about men’s behavior towards women. I mean, ain’t that what the #MeToo and #TimesUp movements are about, fam? Listen, this is a golden opportunity to teach dudes how to be better. Instead, we’d rather bury this scenario in politics.

In the end, fuck agendas, bruh. Ultimately, all of these false narratives keep us from making any real progress, son. By and by, I want to say Rest In Peace to Mollie Tibbetts. At the end of the day, no one deserves to die like that, man. No one. That is all. LC out.

A Wheelchair Doesn’t Stop Sexual Assault

Look, I won’t lie, son. It’s mind-boggling how much I’ve had to write about sexual assault over the last few weeks, man. From Harvey Weinstein to Bill O’Reilly to #MeToo, it’s clear that dudes just can’t keep their hands to themselves, fam. Shit, I guess we can add George H.W. Bush to that list, bruh. Apparently, according to AMC’s Heather Lind, Bush can be a little too free with his hands. *Sigh* I guess not even a wheelchair can stop male fuckery, folks.

So, for those who missed it, Lind recently came out and threw Bush under the bus. Now, according to an Instagram post, the incident happened during a screening of Turn, Lind’s show on AMC. Allegedly, from his wheelchair, Bush touched her from behind AND made a dirty joke. From there, when Barbara Bush got wind of what occurred, apparently she just rolled her eyes at her husband. Shit, I suppose she’s used to the fuckity-fuck shit, son.

Now, to put this all into perspective, this situation happened about four years ago. At this time, Bush would’ve been 89 years old. So, even at that age and confined to a wheelchair, Bush couldn’t resist the abuse, man. Good fucking Lord, fam! Is there ANY scenario where a woman can feel safe, bruh? Like, is there ANYWHERE they can go where they won’t be violated? Real talk, I just keep hearing story after story and it’s driving me insane. Seriously, all of my fellow men need to do WAY better, people! All I know is, this type of behavior is beyond unacceptable, son.

In the end, I have nothing else to say here, man. Ultimately, this story is yet another example of the consistent harassment women have to deal with. By and by, I don’t know why it’s so hard for men to wait for women to give them the go-ahead. Shit, women love sex too, fam. Just wait for them to offer it, bruh. That is all. LC out.