I Finally Watched ‘Infinity War’

Disclaimer: Spoilers for days, son. Act accordingly.

So, I finally saw Avengers: Infinity War, man. All I know is, as a diehard comic book fan, I’m ashamed of myself for taking so long, fam. In any case, after watching that dope ass movie, I have a couple of follow-up thoughts in bullet form. With that being said, let’s skip the pleasantries and get down with the getdown, bruh.

1. Thanos has a point, but he’s TRIPPING: Ok, yes, population control can be an issue. Limited resources can be an issue. However, that doesn’t mean that homie needs to wipe out half of the universe, son. I mean, maybe he needs to come up with a better environmental strategy. Good Lord, man, let the people cook!

2. Star-Lord fucked up the plan: *Sigh* Why did Star-Lord have to ruin the play, fam? Look, while Iron Man, Doctor Strange, Spider-Man, Drax, Mantis and Nebula are fighting Thanos, they almost get the Infinity Gauntlet off of his arm. That’s until Star-Lord finds out that Gamora is dead and loses his fucking mind. From there, he stupidly attacks Thanos and Thanos is able to free himself and continue kicking ass. *Sigh again* Smart move, dude.

3. Doctor Strange bitched up: Listen, I know the situation is dire, bruh. I know the entire scenario looks improbable. But, that doesn’t mean that Earth‘s mightiest heroes should willingly give up one of the Infinity Gems. Well, that’s exactly what Doctor Strange does when he hands over the Time Stone to spare Iron Man’s life. On the real, even Iron Man is confused by the move, son. All in all, there’s no need to make it easy for Thanos, man.

4. Thor could’ve bodied Thanos’s entire army dolo: Fam, when Thor finds his way to Wakanda with his new Stormbreaker weapon, he starts whooping ass IMMEDIATELY! Real talk, he doesn’t need any of the other Avengers to get busy, bruh. Keeping it a buck, he could’ve handled the entire enemy army himself while the rest of the team protects Vision and the Mind Stone. Alas, that isn’t what happens, son.

5. Scarlet Witch kills Vision for nothing: So, the entire team believes that if Scarlet Witch destroys the Mind Stone, then Thanos won’t be able to use it. In any case, she destroys the gem, killing Vision in the process, and they think all is well. That’s until Thanos puts Vision back together and takes the gem out of his head. *Sigh* Basically, Scarlet Witch deals with the agony of killing her lover, only to realize it was for nothing. That’s SUPER wack, man!

6. Bring back Black Panther: Look, I know Thanos kills half of the universe, fam. However, who told Marvel Universe that Black Panther is fair game, bruh? Listen, bring back the king, ASAP! That is all.

7. Captain Marvel is coming: In the post-credits scene, during the aftermath of Thanos’s destruction, we see Nick Fury trying to send out a distress signal. Moving on, we then see him disintegrate before he knows if the message went through. Anyway, the ploy seems successful and a symbol appears on his device. By and by, that symbol is for Captain Marvel. Now, let’s see if she can help undo all of Thanos’s fuckery, son.

In the end, this movie is fantastic, man. Ultimately, I don’t know what else to say, fam. All I know is, I’m probably going to see this film two or three or five more times. At the end of the day, I suggest that everyone out there does the same. Good day. LC out.

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A Letter To ‘Black Panther’ Haters

Dear Black Panther haters,

Eat a diiiiiiiiiiiiiiick, son! On the real, y’all are nothing but a bunch of miserable carpetbaggers who want to fuck up a good thing. All I know is, is takes a special level of loser to launch a campaign designed to ruin a movie’s approval rating. With that being said, I’m glad that Rotten Tomatoes caught on to the bullshit, man. All in all, there ain’t no way to stop this Wakanda parade, fam. It’s T’Challa over everything, bruh!

Ok, before I continue, let me get this straight, son. So, y’all really formed a Facebook group with the intention of giving Black Panther a bad score on Rotten Tomatoes? Wait, y’all tried to do this nonsense before with Star Wars: The Last Jedi? Why? Because y’all are angry about the critical response to those trash ass DC Comics movies? Man, if y’all don’t get the FUCK outta here! Look, there wasn’t a conspiracy to flame those terrible Warner Bros.-produced movies. They were just awful, fam. Man of Steel sucked. Batman v Superman: Dawn of Justice sucked. Justice League sucked. Now, NONE of this is anyone’s fault but Warner Bros., bruh. Real talk, if they made better movies, no one would be trashing them, folks.

In the end, you paint-sniffers can go back to whatever hole y’all climbed out of. Your hate won’t stop this train from rolling, son. Right now, we’re about two weeks away from the Black Panther premier, and we can’t wait, man! Ultimately, the revolution will be televised in IMAX, fam. By and by, y’all should either get down or lay down. There’s no other choice, bruh. That is all.

Sincerely,

A dude who’s about to show up to AMC Theatres with kente cloth on when Black Panther drops

Shut Up, ‘The Punisher’ Is On!

So, I’m going to keep this post short today, son. Listen, The Punisher has finally been released on Netflix and that’s all I care about, man. Basically, watching this show is the only thing on my agenda in the immediate future, fam. Real talk, I’ve been waiting for this series for too long, bruh. All in all, I’m having a hard time keeping my excitement at bay, folks. With that being said, if anyone has my number, don’t call me. I’ll be glued to my TV until I’ve completed every episode.

In the end, there’s nothing else to say here, son. Frank Castle was the best character in Daredevil and it’s about time that Netflix put this show out, man. Keeping it a buck, I’m having a hard time maintaining my focus at work, fam. All I want to do is go home and witness the rampage, bruh. By and by, I guess I can wait a couple of more hours, folks. Ultimately, everyone can reacquaint themselves with the trailer below. Viva la Punisher! LC out.

I’m HYPED For ‘Black Panther’!

So, I don’t want to waste any time, son. I’m fucking AMPED for this Black Panther movie, man! Listen, T’Challa has been around since the 1960s and he’s FINALLY getting his just due, fam. All I know is, I have full faith in Ryan Coogler and Chadwick Boseman, bruh. With that being said, February 16, 2018 can’t come soon enough, people. All in all, I know Black folks are going to show out when the movie comes out.

Ok, I won’t lie, son. I have a complicated history with the Black Panther character. Now, I started reading comic books in the late 1980s and I was never a big fan of T’Challa. Keep in mind, this has nothing to do with the character itself. Frankly, Marvel Comics did a terrible job of writing stories for him. Shit, despite the fact that he’s the king of Wakanda, one of the smartest men in the world AND insanely rich, Marvel never made him interesting. Real talk, they always made him a sidekick or gave him some bland ass storyline.

In any case, it seems as if the powers that be are finally trying to get the character right. Between this film and Ta-Nehisi Coates‘ comic book reboot, T’Challa is staring to get the love he deserves. On the real, as soon as Coates’ series dropped, my wife and I made sure we got our oldest son a copy. Side note, shout-out to my homie Mitch for hooking my little boy up with a first edition, son. Anyway, all I can say is, I’m happy to see the first Black superhero get his proper shine.

In the end, enough of my rambling, man. Everyone should just watch the trailer below. Ultimately, anyone who isn’t moved by this footage has no soul, fam. By and by, I shall be ready with my tickets when the movie is released, bruh. Viva la Black Panther! LC out.

I Can’t Wait For ‘The Punisher’!

So, I’m going to keep this short today, son. All I can say is, I can’t WAIT for this The Punisher show on Netflix, man! As a lifelong comic book fan, Frank Castle has always been one of my favorite characters. I mean, we all love a good superpower, but ain’t nothing like an ordinary human being doing some extraordinary shit, fam. Shit, that’s exactly why Batman is my favorite hero of all time. In any case, after the way Netflix and Jon Bernthal brought Punisher to life on Daredevil, I’m super hyped for this new show, bruh!

Now, I could take the time to explain to everyone who Punisher is, but that’s what Google is for, son. Instead, I’d much rather just let the trailer speak for itself, man. With that being said, check out the trailer for the upcoming show below. As of now, I don’t know when the show starts, but when it does, I shall be there, fam! In the end, long live Marvel, bruh! That is all. LC out.

Greg Gianforte: The Stone Cold Steve Austin Of Politics

Bruh, what manner of fuckery is this? I mean, is this how our politicians are getting down now? Look, I know we’re in the age of Donald Trump, but there has to be a limit to the foolishness, right? Son, Greg Gianforte really just took a hatred of the press to the next level. For a moment, he forgot he was running for Congress and took up Stone Cold Steve Austin‘s mantle. All I know is, I’m not sure how practicing wrestling moves can help a campaign.

Now, I won’t lie, son. When I first heard the story I’m about to tell, I laughed. Like, I couldn’t fathom the idea of a politician doing what Gianforte did, man. So, for those who are unaware, Gianforte physically attacked a reporter. It all began when Ben Jacobs, a journalist from The Guardian, walked into Gianforte’s campaign headquarters and put a recorder in front of Gianforte. Apparently, he wanted to know Gianforte’s take on the latest Congressional Budget Office report. This newly-released document stated that 23 million people would lose health insurance under the recently-approved American Health Care Act. Needless to say, Gianforte wasn’t thrilled by the question.

From there, Gianforte grabbed Jacobs by the neck, body slammed him and then started punching him in the face. Now, how do we know all of this? Because Alicia Acuna, a Fox News reporter, was one of the people in the room when the assault occurred. Meaning, they were able to refute Gianforte’s claim that Jacobs was physically aggressive towards him. All in all, Gianforte went into Wolverine berserker mode and started bugging out on Jacobs.

Man, what in the fuckity-fuck is good in these streets? Son, this dude is running for Congress? Like, he’s trying to be down with the House of Representatives? For real?! How the fuck can anyone in Montana vote for this dude if he behaves like this? How can this man be trusted by anyone? For God‘s sake, he attacked a man for asking him a question! How does that action exude any type of leadership or self-control? At this point, Montana should be ashamed of themselves if they elect this clown. Hell, he was just arrested for what he did to Jacobs. Ultimately, he doesn’t deserve a seat in the House, fam.

In the end, our political system has gone to Hell, son. Listen, I literally can’t guess what will happen next with our elected officials. Seriously, everyone has lost their fucking minds around here. At this rate, I might really have to run for office, man. I mean, I’m competent enough, right? Right?! Yeah, I thought so. LC out.