Put Some Respeck On Wesley Snipes’ Name

So, let me be clear off rip, son. On the real, I have nothing negative to say about Mahershala Ali, man. I mean, it goes without saying, but he’s one of the best actors in the game, fam. Shit, from House of Cards to Luke Cage to True Detective to Moonlight, Ali has been consistently great, bruh. With that being said, there will be no slander on his pedigree, folks. Instead, the goal of this post is to get people to appreciate the dopeness of vintage Wesley Snipes. All in all, people need to put some respeck on his name, brethren.

Ok, for those who missed it, the Marvel Cinematic Universe just delivered some big news, son. Apparently, Ali is going to portray Blade in a reboot of the film series. Now, as most people know, this role was made famous by Snipes. Honestly, because of this character, Snipes was the biggest actor in Hollywood for a hot second. As a matter of fact, the first Blade movie got me in massive trouble with my mom, man.

Look, once upon a time, 13-year-old LC thought he could pull a fast one on his mother. Now, as a birthday present, I convinced my mom to take me to see Blade. Moving on, she knew it was a Rated R movie, but I neglected to tell her what the film was really about. In any case, the first five minutes of the movie features a party in the basement with a bunch of vampires dancing under blood-filled sprinklers. From there, Blade swoops in to kill them all. All I know is, my mother slapped holy fire out me and swiftly removed me from the theater.

Anyway, despite the temporary setback, I eventually saw the movie about a hundred times. All I can say is, it’s one of my favorite films, along with a myriad of work from Snipes’ catalog. Listen, this is the same man that wrecked shop in Mo’ Better BluesNew Jack CityJungle FeverWhite Men Can’t JumpMurder at 1600 and U.S. Marshals. The truth is, Snipes has a lot of movies that I’ll watch anytime they’re on television, fam. So, even though I’m a huge fan of Ali, I don’t want people to forget the greatness of Snipes.

In the end, that’s all that needs to be said, bruh. Ultimately, Snipes is a legend and should be treated as such. Besides, he gave dark-skinned dudes like me hope, son. By and by, he spoke directly to me when he put a knife through Kareem‘s hand in New Jack City and said “I never liked you anyway, pretty motherfucker.” At the end of the day, long live Wesley Snipes! Long live Blade! That is all. LC out.

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Don’t Ruin ‘Avengers: Endgame’ For Me!

So, I played myself, son. Like, I waited too long to get Avengers: Endgame tickets, man. In any case, I have to wait until next week to get my IMAX 3D experience, fam. With that being said, I’d like to address all of my compatriots who are blessed to see the movie this weekend. From the bottom of my heart, DON’T RUIN THE FUCKING MOVIE FOR ME, BRUH!

On the real, I don’t have much to say, son. Frankly, I just know how social media works, man. Hell, most of the time, folks can’t WAIT to jump on Facebook, Twitter and Instagram to spoil shit. Keeping it a buck, just by writing this post, I bet a couple of dummies are going to try and fuck shit up for me. However, I’m imploring everyone to not be a dick, fam. Please allow me to cry from joy in my own time, bruh.

In the end, that’s all I’ve got, son. Ultimately, waiting a week to see this movie is making me siiiiiiick, man. By and by, I need Thanos in my life, fam. At the end of the day, I’m probably going to have to quit social media until next week, bruh. That’s probably the only way for me to be safe. Well, besides my friends who have my number. But, in that case, I can just assault them. Yeah, that sounds about right. That is all. LC out.

I Almost Disowned My Mother Over Stan Lee

So, allow me to keep it a buck for a second, son. Real talk, if anyone doesn’t understand how legendary Stan Lee was/is, then I really don’t want to know that person. Taking it a step further, if I have a friend/family member who doesn’t comprehend Lee’s GOAT‘ness, then I’m not sure that I can continue our relationship. I mean, Lee was The Gawd, man! Seriously, where the fuck would Marvel Comics or the overall zeitgeist be if Lee never existed, fam? Shit, I don’t even want to imagine such a world. All in all, Rest In Peace to one of the greatest dudes ever!

Ok, now that I’ve gotten that out of the way, let me explain the title of this post, bruh. So, once upon a time in elementary school, I was a HUGE comic book fan. Side note, I dare someone to test my knowledge on anything before like 2005. Honestly, I’ve got this, son. In any case, around like the third grade, I came across a special comic book: an original edition of Amazing Spider-Man #300. Now, for anyone who is unaware, this issue contains the first full-length appearance of Venom. Moving on, the comic first came out in 1988, but somehow in the early 1990s, I found an original copy. Needless to say, I was fucking HYPED, man!

Anyway, even though Lee didn’t write that particular issue, it’s no secret that Peter Parker was his brainchild. Hell, Parker along with every other Marvel character who has ever mattered, fam. All I can say is, getting ahold of Venom’s first foray meant EVERYTHING to me, bruh! On the real, I read that comic once and put it back in the plastic, son. Listen, I didn’t want to risk creasing it, man.

Now, fast forward to my freshman year of boarding school. I came home for my first vacation and noticed my room looked a little different. Most notably, my bookcase seemed to be missing all of my comic books. To add insult to injury, I definitely noticed that Spider-Man #300 was missing. From there, I asked my mom where my comics were and she uttered four words that changed our relationship: “I threw them out.” I immediately asked her why she would do such a thing and she said “you’re a teenager now, I figured you wouldn’t want them anymore.” All I know is, that might’ve been the only time I legitimately wanted to hit my own mother with the Stone Cold Stunner.

Look, I told that story to highlight one main point: Stan Lee invented a universe that I NEEDED to be a part of. Like, he created characters with nuance, fam. He created characters with ethos. For God‘s sake, he based Professor X and Magneto on Martin Luther King Jr. and Malcolm X! What else do people need to know, bruh?! Yeah, these heroes had unreal abilities, but a lot of them had VERY real problems, son. Keeping it a buck, what awkward teenager couldn’t relate to Peter Parker? Being a superhero didn’t absolve him from the trash-ness of high school, man. The fact is, Lee built a world that all of us could identify with AND get lost in.

In the end, RIP to the greatest! Ultimately, his influence will forever be solidified. By and by, Marvel is stronger than ever and it’s directly because of his influence. At the end of the day, legends never die, fam. Long live Stan Lee! That is all. LC out.

P.S. Man, I still don’t know if I’ve forgiven my mom. Look, I just Google‘d the price of an original copy of that Spider-Man issue and got mad all over again. *Sigh* Her and I need to have another discussion, son. Good day.

Bert & Ernie Live Their Truth

So, let me begin this post saying that I find this Bert and Ernie story funny, son. Not because of the longstanding rumor that they’re a gay couple, but because of everyone’s reactions, man. The truth is, different Sesame Street insiders have different perspectives on this subject, fam. With that being said, all of them are right, bruh. Frankly, it just depends on who’s being asked, people. All in all, the real question is, does the sexuality of puppets even matter?

Ok, for those who missed it, Mark Saltzman, former Sesame Street writer, claimed that during his time on the show, he wrote Bert and Ernie as a gay couple. As a matter of fact, he based his writing on his own personal relationships. Now, as expected, this sent the internet into a tizzy. On one side, there were people who were like “duh, son.” Side note, I fall into that category, man. On the other side, there were people who were upset that sexuality was being attributed to puppets on a kid’s show. Shit, even the Sesame Workshop came out with the “they have no sexual orientation” statement. Keeping it a buck, I feel like both sides are correct, fam.

Look, fictional characters are only defined by the individuals writing for them, bruh. Now, when Frank Oz and Jim Henson created Bert and Ernie, they didn’t intend for them to be gay characters. However, that doesn’t change the fact that Saltzman wrote for them from that frame of mind. Hell, Iron Man wasn’t an alcoholic until the Demon in a Bottle storyline. But, that’s how the Marvel writers saw Tony Stark at that particular time. All I can say is, different writers have different vantage points, son. It just is what it is.

In the end, none of this matters, man. Ultimately, Bert and Ernie’s sexuality doesn’t change their impact on children, fam. By and by, both of my sons have religiously watched Sesame Street. At the end of the day, the show still teaches them letters, numbers and how to be nice to people. All I know is, that’s all that really counts, bruh. That is all. LC out.

I Finally Watched ‘Infinity War’

Disclaimer: Spoilers for days, son. Act accordingly.

So, I finally saw Avengers: Infinity War, man. All I know is, as a diehard comic book fan, I’m ashamed of myself for taking so long, fam. In any case, after watching that dope ass movie, I have a couple of follow-up thoughts in bullet form. With that being said, let’s skip the pleasantries and get down with the getdown, bruh.

1. Thanos has a point, but he’s TRIPPING: Ok, yes, population control can be an issue. Limited resources can be an issue. However, that doesn’t mean that homie needs to wipe out half of the universe, son. I mean, maybe he needs to come up with a better environmental strategy. Good Lord, man, let the people cook!

2. Star-Lord fucked up the plan: *Sigh* Why did Star-Lord have to ruin the play, fam? Look, while Iron Man, Doctor Strange, Spider-Man, Drax, Mantis and Nebula are fighting Thanos, they almost get the Infinity Gauntlet off of his arm. That’s until Star-Lord finds out that Gamora is dead and loses his fucking mind. From there, he stupidly attacks Thanos and Thanos is able to free himself and continue kicking ass. *Sigh again* Smart move, dude.

3. Doctor Strange bitched up: Listen, I know the situation is dire, bruh. I know the entire scenario looks improbable. But, that doesn’t mean that Earth‘s mightiest heroes should willingly give up one of the Infinity Gems. Well, that’s exactly what Doctor Strange does when he hands over the Time Stone to spare Iron Man’s life. On the real, even Iron Man is confused by the move, son. All in all, there’s no need to make it easy for Thanos, man.

4. Thor could’ve bodied Thanos’s entire army dolo: Fam, when Thor finds his way to Wakanda with his new Stormbreaker weapon, he starts whooping ass IMMEDIATELY! Real talk, he doesn’t need any of the other Avengers to get busy, bruh. Keeping it a buck, he could’ve handled the entire enemy army himself while the rest of the team protects Vision and the Mind Stone. Alas, that isn’t what happens, son.

5. Scarlet Witch kills Vision for nothing: So, the entire team believes that if Scarlet Witch destroys the Mind Stone, then Thanos won’t be able to use it. In any case, she destroys the gem, killing Vision in the process, and they think all is well. That’s until Thanos puts Vision back together and takes the gem out of his head. *Sigh* Basically, Scarlet Witch deals with the agony of killing her lover, only to realize it was for nothing. That’s SUPER wack, man!

6. Bring back Black Panther: Look, I know Thanos kills half of the universe, fam. However, who told Marvel Universe that Black Panther is fair game, bruh? Listen, bring back the king, ASAP! That is all.

7. Captain Marvel is coming: In the post-credits scene, during the aftermath of Thanos’s destruction, we see Nick Fury trying to send out a distress signal. Moving on, we then see him disintegrate before he knows if the message went through. Anyway, the ploy seems successful and a symbol appears on his device. By and by, that symbol is for Captain Marvel. Now, let’s see if she can help undo all of Thanos’s fuckery, son.

In the end, this movie is fantastic, man. Ultimately, I don’t know what else to say, fam. All I know is, I’m probably going to see this film two or three or five more times. At the end of the day, I suggest that everyone out there does the same. Good day. LC out.

A Letter To ‘Black Panther’ Haters

Dear Black Panther haters,

Eat a diiiiiiiiiiiiiiick, son! On the real, y’all are nothing but a bunch of miserable carpetbaggers who want to fuck up a good thing. All I know is, is takes a special level of loser to launch a campaign designed to ruin a movie’s approval rating. With that being said, I’m glad that Rotten Tomatoes caught on to the bullshit, man. All in all, there ain’t no way to stop this Wakanda parade, fam. It’s T’Challa over everything, bruh!

Ok, before I continue, let me get this straight, son. So, y’all really formed a Facebook group with the intention of giving Black Panther a bad score on Rotten Tomatoes? Wait, y’all tried to do this nonsense before with Star Wars: The Last Jedi? Why? Because y’all are angry about the critical response to those trash ass DC Comics movies? Man, if y’all don’t get the FUCK outta here! Look, there wasn’t a conspiracy to flame those terrible Warner Bros.-produced movies. They were just awful, fam. Man of Steel sucked. Batman v Superman: Dawn of Justice sucked. Justice League sucked. Now, NONE of this is anyone’s fault but Warner Bros., bruh. Real talk, if they made better movies, no one would be trashing them, folks.

In the end, you paint-sniffers can go back to whatever hole y’all climbed out of. Your hate won’t stop this train from rolling, son. Right now, we’re about two weeks away from the Black Panther premier, and we can’t wait, man! Ultimately, the revolution will be televised in IMAX, fam. By and by, y’all should either get down or lay down. There’s no other choice, bruh. That is all.

Sincerely,

A dude who’s about to show up to AMC Theatres with kente cloth on when Black Panther drops

Shut Up, ‘The Punisher’ Is On!

So, I’m going to keep this post short today, son. Listen, The Punisher has finally been released on Netflix and that’s all I care about, man. Basically, watching this show is the only thing on my agenda in the immediate future, fam. Real talk, I’ve been waiting for this series for too long, bruh. All in all, I’m having a hard time keeping my excitement at bay, folks. With that being said, if anyone has my number, don’t call me. I’ll be glued to my TV until I’ve completed every episode.

In the end, there’s nothing else to say here, son. Frank Castle was the best character in Daredevil and it’s about time that Netflix put this show out, man. Keeping it a buck, I’m having a hard time maintaining my focus at work, fam. All I want to do is go home and witness the rampage, bruh. By and by, I guess I can wait a couple of more hours, folks. Ultimately, everyone can reacquaint themselves with the trailer below. Viva la Punisher! LC out.