I Almost Disowned My Mother Over Stan Lee

So, allow me to keep it a buck for a second, son. Real talk, if anyone doesn’t understand how legendary Stan Lee was/is, then I really don’t want to know that person. Taking it a step further, if I have a friend/family member who doesn’t comprehend Lee’s GOAT‘ness, then I’m not sure that I can continue our relationship. I mean, Lee was The Gawd, man! Seriously, where the fuck would Marvel Comics or the overall zeitgeist be if Lee never existed, fam? Shit, I don’t even want to imagine such a world. All in all, Rest In Peace to one of the greatest dudes ever!

Ok, now that I’ve gotten that out of the way, let me explain the title of this post, bruh. So, once upon a time in elementary school, I was a HUGE comic book fan. Side note, I dare someone to test my knowledge on anything before like 2005. Honestly, I’ve got this, son. In any case, around like the third grade, I came across a special comic book: an original edition of Amazing Spider-Man #300. Now, for anyone who is unaware, this issue contains the first full-length appearance of Venom. Moving on, the comic first came out in 1988, but somehow in the early 1990s, I found an original copy. Needless to say, I was fucking HYPED, man!

Anyway, even though Lee didn’t write that particular issue, it’s no secret that Peter Parker was his brainchild. Hell, Parker along with every other Marvel character who has ever mattered, fam. All I can say is, getting ahold of Venom’s first foray meant EVERYTHING to me, bruh! On the real, I read that comic once and put it back in the plastic, son. Listen, I didn’t want to risk creasing it, man.

Now, fast forward to my freshman year of boarding school. I came home for my first vacation and noticed my room looked a little different. Most notably, my bookcase seemed to be missing all of my comic books. To add insult to injury, I definitely noticed that Spider-Man #300 was missing. From there, I asked my mom where my comics were and she uttered four words that changed our relationship: “I threw them out.” I immediately asked her why she would do such a thing and she said “you’re a teenager now, I figured you wouldn’t want them anymore.” All I know is, that might’ve been the only time I legitimately wanted to hit my own mother with the Stone Cold Stunner.

Look, I told that story to highlight one main point: Stan Lee invented a universe that I NEEDED to be a part of. Like, he created characters with nuance, fam. He created characters with ethos. For God‘s sake, he based Professor X and Magneto on Martin Luther King Jr. and Malcolm X! What else do people need to know, bruh?! Yeah, these heroes had unreal abilities, but a lot of them had VERY real problems, son. Keeping it a buck, what awkward teenager couldn’t relate to Peter Parker? Being a superhero didn’t absolve him from the trash-ness of high school, man. The fact is, Lee built a world that all of us could identify with AND get lost in.

In the end, RIP to the greatest! Ultimately, his influence will forever be solidified. By and by, Marvel is stronger than ever and it’s directly because of his influence. At the end of the day, legends never die, fam. Long live Stan Lee! That is all. LC out.

P.S. Man, I still don’t know if I’ve forgiven my mom. Look, I just Google‘d the price of an original copy of that Spider-Man issue and got mad all over again. *Sigh* Her and I need to have another discussion, son. Good day.

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Bert & Ernie Live Their Truth

So, let me begin this post saying that I find this Bert and Ernie story funny, son. Not because of the longstanding rumor that they’re a gay couple, but because of everyone’s reactions, man. The truth is, different Sesame Street insiders have different perspectives on this subject, fam. With that being said, all of them are right, bruh. Frankly, it just depends on who’s being asked, people. All in all, the real question is, does the sexuality of puppets even matter?

Ok, for those who missed it, Mark Saltzman, former Sesame Street writer, claimed that during his time on the show, he wrote Bert and Ernie as a gay couple. As a matter of fact, he based his writing on his own personal relationships. Now, as expected, this sent the internet into a tizzy. On one side, there were people who were like “duh, son.” Side note, I fall into that category, man. On the other side, there were people who were upset that sexuality was being attributed to puppets on a kid’s show. Shit, even the Sesame Workshop came out with the “they have no sexual orientation” statement. Keeping it a buck, I feel like both sides are correct, fam.

Look, fictional characters are only defined by the individuals writing for them, bruh. Now, when Frank Oz and Jim Henson created Bert and Ernie, they didn’t intend for them to be gay characters. However, that doesn’t change the fact that Saltzman wrote for them from that frame of mind. Hell, Iron Man wasn’t an alcoholic until the Demon in a Bottle storyline. But, that’s how the Marvel writers saw Tony Stark at that particular time. All I can say is, different writers have different vantage points, son. It just is what it is.

In the end, none of this matters, man. Ultimately, Bert and Ernie’s sexuality doesn’t change their impact on children, fam. By and by, both of my sons have religiously watched Sesame Street. At the end of the day, the show still teaches them letters, numbers and how to be nice to people. All I know is, that’s all that really counts, bruh. That is all. LC out.

A Letter To ‘Black Panther’ Haters

Dear Black Panther haters,

Eat a diiiiiiiiiiiiiiick, son! On the real, y’all are nothing but a bunch of miserable carpetbaggers who want to fuck up a good thing. All I know is, is takes a special level of loser to launch a campaign designed to ruin a movie’s approval rating. With that being said, I’m glad that Rotten Tomatoes caught on to the bullshit, man. All in all, there ain’t no way to stop this Wakanda parade, fam. It’s T’Challa over everything, bruh!

Ok, before I continue, let me get this straight, son. So, y’all really formed a Facebook group with the intention of giving Black Panther a bad score on Rotten Tomatoes? Wait, y’all tried to do this nonsense before with Star Wars: The Last Jedi? Why? Because y’all are angry about the critical response to those trash ass DC Comics movies? Man, if y’all don’t get the FUCK outta here! Look, there wasn’t a conspiracy to flame those terrible Warner Bros.-produced movies. They were just awful, fam. Man of Steel sucked. Batman v Superman: Dawn of Justice sucked. Justice League sucked. Now, NONE of this is anyone’s fault but Warner Bros., bruh. Real talk, if they made better movies, no one would be trashing them, folks.

In the end, you paint-sniffers can go back to whatever hole y’all climbed out of. Your hate won’t stop this train from rolling, son. Right now, we’re about two weeks away from the Black Panther premier, and we can’t wait, man! Ultimately, the revolution will be televised in IMAX, fam. By and by, y’all should either get down or lay down. There’s no other choice, bruh. That is all.

Sincerely,

A dude who’s about to show up to AMC Theatres with kente cloth on when Black Panther drops

Shut Up, ‘The Punisher’ Is On!

So, I’m going to keep this post short today, son. Listen, The Punisher has finally been released on Netflix and that’s all I care about, man. Basically, watching this show is the only thing on my agenda in the immediate future, fam. Real talk, I’ve been waiting for this series for too long, bruh. All in all, I’m having a hard time keeping my excitement at bay, folks. With that being said, if anyone has my number, don’t call me. I’ll be glued to my TV until I’ve completed every episode.

In the end, there’s nothing else to say here, son. Frank Castle was the best character in Daredevil and it’s about time that Netflix put this show out, man. Keeping it a buck, I’m having a hard time maintaining my focus at work, fam. All I want to do is go home and witness the rampage, bruh. By and by, I guess I can wait a couple of more hours, folks. Ultimately, everyone can reacquaint themselves with the trailer below. Viva la Punisher! LC out.

I’m HYPED For ‘Black Panther’!

So, I don’t want to waste any time, son. I’m fucking AMPED for this Black Panther movie, man! Listen, T’Challa has been around since the 1960s and he’s FINALLY getting his just due, fam. All I know is, I have full faith in Ryan Coogler and Chadwick Boseman, bruh. With that being said, February 16, 2018 can’t come soon enough, people. All in all, I know Black folks are going to show out when the movie comes out.

Ok, I won’t lie, son. I have a complicated history with the Black Panther character. Now, I started reading comic books in the late 1980s and I was never a big fan of T’Challa. Keep in mind, this has nothing to do with the character itself. Frankly, Marvel Comics did a terrible job of writing stories for him. Shit, despite the fact that he’s the king of Wakanda, one of the smartest men in the world AND insanely rich, Marvel never made him interesting. Real talk, they always made him a sidekick or gave him some bland ass storyline.

In any case, it seems as if the powers that be are finally trying to get the character right. Between this film and Ta-Nehisi Coates‘ comic book reboot, T’Challa is staring to get the love he deserves. On the real, as soon as Coates’ series dropped, my wife and I made sure we got our oldest son a copy. Side note, shout-out to my homie Mitch for hooking my little boy up with a first edition, son. Anyway, all I can say is, I’m happy to see the first Black superhero get his proper shine.

In the end, enough of my rambling, man. Everyone should just watch the trailer below. Ultimately, anyone who isn’t moved by this footage has no soul, fam. By and by, I shall be ready with my tickets when the movie is released, bruh. Viva la Black Panther! LC out.

I Wish All Black People Were Luke Cage

So, today’s post may be a little bit weird. This is mainly because it combines two things I have a deep love for: Black lives and comic books. First, I must say, I’m super hyped about the Luke Cage show that’s about to hit Netflix on Friday. I’d be a bozo if I wasn’t excited about a Black superhero getting his own platform. With that being said, based on all of the racial injustice happening in America right now, Cage has taken on a new meaning for me. Ultimately, I guess I just wish all Black people had Luke Cage’s abilities. This way, maybe we’d actually be able to survive in this country.

Now, for those unfamiliar with Luke Cage, let me provide a quick backstory. So, Cage grew up in New York City, got involved with gang life, but ultimately decided he wanted something better. A hating ass friend thought Cage stole his girl, so he planted drugs on Cage, which landed the future hero in prison. From there, Cage was experimented on by a research scientist and turned into a superhuman with incomparable strength and unbreakable skin. Moving on, once Cage got out of prison, he decided to clean up the streets of NYC and crack a ton of heads in the process.

Ok, since I’ve gotten his background out of the way, I want everyone to pay close attention to two particular words from the last paragraph: unbreakable skin. In the comics, whole mobs of people tried shooting Cage and he didn’t even flinch. While I’ve followed this character since I was a child, that particular ability took on a new meaning for me in 2016. Can anyone imagine how amazing it would be if bullets just bounced off of Black people? If we didn’t have to fear dying during a traffic stop? If we didn’t have to fear dying if our cars broke down? If we didn’t have to fear getting shot while just doing our jobs? I’m well aware of the fact that fantasy doesn’t help us in these times, but damn, let a man dream for a second, son. I’ll come back to reality in a moment.

In the end, I’m not even sure why I wrote this. However; I was briefly comforted during the ten minutes it took me to jot all of this down. Now, let me get back to explaining to my two sons that while people think they’re cute now, they’ll be seen as a threat when they get older. Good day.

P.S. I also have to say rest in peace to Alfred Olango, an unarmed and mentally ill man who was killed by police in San Diego. This is just another example of why people like me constantly fear for our lives.