Put Some Respeck On Wesley Snipes’ Name

So, let me be clear off rip, son. On the real, I have nothing negative to say about Mahershala Ali, man. I mean, it goes without saying, but he’s one of the best actors in the game, fam. Shit, from House of Cards to Luke Cage to True Detective to Moonlight, Ali has been consistently great, bruh. With that being said, there will be no slander on his pedigree, folks. Instead, the goal of this post is to get people to appreciate the dopeness of vintage Wesley Snipes. All in all, people need to put some respeck on his name, brethren.

Ok, for those who missed it, the Marvel Cinematic Universe just delivered some big news, son. Apparently, Ali is going to portray Blade in a reboot of the film series. Now, as most people know, this role was made famous by Snipes. Honestly, because of this character, Snipes was the biggest actor in Hollywood for a hot second. As a matter of fact, the first Blade movie got me in massive trouble with my mom, man.

Look, once upon a time, 13-year-old LC thought he could pull a fast one on his mother. Now, as a birthday present, I convinced my mom to take me to see Blade. Moving on, she knew it was a Rated R movie, but I neglected to tell her what the film was really about. In any case, the first five minutes of the movie features a party in the basement with a bunch of vampires dancing under blood-filled sprinklers. From there, Blade swoops in to kill them all. All I know is, my mother slapped holy fire out me and swiftly removed me from the theater.

Anyway, despite the temporary setback, I eventually saw the movie about a hundred times. All I can say is, it’s one of my favorite films, along with a myriad of work from Snipes’ catalog. Listen, this is the same man that wrecked shop in Mo’ Better BluesNew Jack CityJungle FeverWhite Men Can’t JumpMurder at 1600 and U.S. Marshals. The truth is, Snipes has a lot of movies that I’ll watch anytime they’re on television, fam. So, even though I’m a huge fan of Ali, I don’t want people to forget the greatness of Snipes.

In the end, that’s all that needs to be said, bruh. Ultimately, Snipes is a legend and should be treated as such. Besides, he gave dark-skinned dudes like me hope, son. By and by, he spoke directly to me when he put a knife through Kareem‘s hand in New Jack City and said “I never liked you anyway, pretty motherfucker.” At the end of the day, long live Wesley Snipes! Long live Blade! That is all. LC out.

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Luke Cage Drinks White People’s Tears

White people just need to be a part of everything, huh? It’s mind-boggling how our Caucasian counterparts can watch a show about a Black man in Harlem and be upset about the lack of White representation. Now, the last time I checked, Harlem wasn’t Greenwich, Connecticut. However; I refuse to go down this path. I’m not going to spend my time debating such a stupid argument. Instead, I’m going to propose a trade. On behalf of the Black Delegation, we’ll make future episodes of Luke Cage “more White” if the following things happen:

1. Friends returns with more Black people in its cast.

2. Seinfeld returns with more Black people in its cast.

3. The Wonder Years returns with more Black people in its cast.

4. Gilligan’s Island returns with more Black people in its cast.

Ok, wait, let me stop for a second. Does everyone see where I’m going with this? Literally EVERY television show or movie features a predominantly White cast. Hell, why the fuck do dumbasses think Black people were so angry about the Academy Awards last year? Did we already forget the #OscarsSoWhite movement? All we do is beg for representation, man. Instead, we get idiots like Tim Burton explaining why diversity isn’t important in his movies. So, White people get to be the stars of damn near ALL of our entertainment and they STILL want to commandeer ours too. Man, the fuckery is so strong, I don’t even know how to put it into words.

With all of that being said, let me backtrack for a second. No, we will NOT add more White people to Luke Cage just to make the Butt Hurt Federation happy. For once, we’re telling stories about OUR lives, and news flash, White people aren’t always a part of it. On the real, if this is what people think “reverse racism” is, they literally have no clue about regular racism. Black people have to deal with institutional bias, profiling and brutality, while fools complain about not being shown at the same deli as Luke. Is this a fucking joke, son? Like, this can’t be real life.

All in all, if any White person is mad about Luke Cage, then I’m happy. On the real, anyone that falls into that category needs to grow the fuck up. Black people don’t watch shows set in Nebraska and wonder why we’re under-represented. This is Harlem, bitch! Hold this L. Good day.

P.S. Simone Missick, the woman who plays Misty Knight on the show, is fine as FUCK, son! Now, that has absolutely nothing to do with the subject of this post, but I had to say it anyway.

P.P.S. Shout-out to my dude Brent for inspiring this post. I tried to avoid the tomfoolery, but I do take good advice when it’s given to me. That is all.

I Wish All Black People Were Luke Cage

So, today’s post may be a little bit weird. This is mainly because it combines two things I have a deep love for: Black lives and comic books. First, I must say, I’m super hyped about the Luke Cage show that’s about to hit Netflix on Friday. I’d be a bozo if I wasn’t excited about a Black superhero getting his own platform. With that being said, based on all of the racial injustice happening in America right now, Cage has taken on a new meaning for me. Ultimately, I guess I just wish all Black people had Luke Cage’s abilities. This way, maybe we’d actually be able to survive in this country.

Now, for those unfamiliar with Luke Cage, let me provide a quick backstory. So, Cage grew up in New York City, got involved with gang life, but ultimately decided he wanted something better. A hating ass friend thought Cage stole his girl, so he planted drugs on Cage, which landed the future hero in prison. From there, Cage was experimented on by a research scientist and turned into a superhuman with incomparable strength and unbreakable skin. Moving on, once Cage got out of prison, he decided to clean up the streets of NYC and crack a ton of heads in the process.

Ok, since I’ve gotten his background out of the way, I want everyone to pay close attention to two particular words from the last paragraph: unbreakable skin. In the comics, whole mobs of people tried shooting Cage and he didn’t even flinch. While I’ve followed this character since I was a child, that particular ability took on a new meaning for me in 2016. Can anyone imagine how amazing it would be if bullets just bounced off of Black people? If we didn’t have to fear dying during a traffic stop? If we didn’t have to fear dying if our cars broke down? If we didn’t have to fear getting shot while just doing our jobs? I’m well aware of the fact that fantasy doesn’t help us in these times, but damn, let a man dream for a second, son. I’ll come back to reality in a moment.

In the end, I’m not even sure why I wrote this. However; I was briefly comforted during the ten minutes it took me to jot all of this down. Now, let me get back to explaining to my two sons that while people think they’re cute now, they’ll be seen as a threat when they get older. Good day.

P.S. I also have to say rest in peace to Alfred Olango, an unarmed and mentally ill man who was killed by police in San Diego. This is just another example of why people like me constantly fear for our lives.