Ay, Joe Budden, Cyn Santana Bounced, Bruh

So, let me be real, son. I’m not going to sit here and pretend like I know what’s going on with Joe Budden and Cyn Santana. All I can say is, Budden seems to be a little confused about his relationship status. Well, I’d like to clear it up for him. *Ahem* She bounced, bruh. Look, anytime a woman moves all of her shit out of the crib, she’s probably serious, man.

Ok, for those who missed it, the engagement between Budden and Santana is seemingly off. Now, there were rumors circulating around that the two were having pre-marital issues. But, I generally don’t pay attention to what gossip blogs have to say. Furthermore, I don’t pay attention to a woman’s shady comments on social media. Shit, I’ve been in a situation where a chick was throwing darts at me online and we were still very much together. In any case, my ears didn’t perk up until Budden responded to the rumors at a live episode of The Joe Budden Podcast.

Now, while speaking to his audience, Budden asked if a relationship can be over if neither person verbally said it was over. In addition, he stated that he hasn’t talked to Santana in weeks and that she moved her shit out. Side note, uh, don’t they have a kid together? So, wouldn’t her moving out also include their son? Yeah, I’m going to need Budden to move with a greater sense of urgency, fam. In any case, while Budden was pontificating about a wordless breakup, Santana was telling people on Twitter than actions speak louder than words.

Look, let me be perfectly clear here, bruh. If Santana left the crib, took their son AND stopped speaking to him, then yeah, that’s a breakup, son. Now, does that mean they can’t work it out? Of course not. However, if Budden is missing all of these telltale signs, then he might have no hope of getting his woman back, man. Keeping it a buck, I have no idea what they’re beefing about. But, he can’t be walking around this clueless, fam. Ay, Joey, go call her, brethren.

In the end, relationships can be a motherfucker, son. Hell, I’ve been in a relationship with the same woman for eleven years now, man. With that being said, I’m an expert in the vernacular of “when a woman’s fed up.” Ultimately, Budden needs to wake the fuck up if he wants to save his union. That is all. LC out.

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Fetty Wap’s Baby Mamas Need To Chill

Look, I try my hardest to stay away from Love & Hip Hop bullshit, son. I mean, my wife likes to corrupt our house with that VH1 nonsense, but I try to keep myself pure, man. In any case, when I got wind of the fuckity-fuck shit going on in Fetty Wap‘s personal life, I paid attention. This is mainly because I’m a fan of his music, fam. With that being said, Fetty needs to get control of his households, bruh. Shit, all I know is, his baby mamas are WILIN’, folks!

Ok, I won’t lie, son. There’s no way I could explain all of the fuckery going on between Fetty and his six baby mamas. Frankly, there’s too much tomfoolery to keep up with, man. Anyway, I decided to speak on this subject when I saw what Lezhae Zeona said about Turquoise Miami‘s child. Now, keep in mind, Miami’s child is also Fetty’s child, who’s also the father of two of Zeona’s children. Essentially, during a back-and-forth between the two women, Zeona called Miami’s child a “monkey.” *Sigh* All I want to know is, what part of the game is insulting kids?

Now, the thing I don’t understand is, does Zeona not realize that by insulting Miami’s kid, she’s also insulting Fetty’s kid? Real talk, how is she supposed to have a functional relationship with the father of her children if she’s being so vile to his other kids? Keeping it a buck, such an off-the-cuff comment can have long-lasting consequences, fam. On the real, if her relationship with Fetty is thoroughly compromised after this, she shouldn’t be surprised, bruh.

Listen, Fetty needs to gain some control of the situation, son. He’s got Zeona arguing with Miami while Masika Kalysha battles it out with Alexis Skyy. All the while, I ain’t heard one new song that resembles the shit that made me a fan in the first place, man. Look, I wanna hear the next “Rewind,” fam, not a bunch of women arguing on social media. Then again, when I saw his “if ima player you a slut” comment, I knew that he’d rather be petty than man up, bruh. *Sigh* I guess that fire next album ain’t coming, people.

In the end, this is not the way adults are supposed to behave, son. Ultimately, when there are children involved, people need to act like they have some semblance of decency. By and by, Fetty Wap and ALL of his baby mamas need to chill, man. At the end of the day, these kids are gonna grow up and realize that their parents are fucktards who embarrassed themselves in public. That is all. LC out.

Long Live Cardi B!

So, to be clear, let me say something off the rip: there shall be no Bronx slander on my blog, son. In addition, there shall be no libel about Cardi B, man. Keeping it a buck, at this particular moment in time, she’s reached the pinnacle, fam. I mean, she’s literally changed the trajectory of her entire life with one song, bruh. Now, if that wasn’t enough, she’s also reached another milestone, people: with “Bodak Yellow” reaching number-one on the Billboard Hot 100, she’s become the first female rapper to reach the summit without a feature since Lauryn Hill.

Ok, before I continue, allow me to quickly paint a picture. Now, the year was 1998. At this time, I was a mere 13 years old. During that summer, I distinctly remember taking my The Miseducation of Lauryn Hill CD on a church retreat. As a matter of fact, I also remember that the aforementioned CD was stolen on said trip. Side note, I still don’t know who did it, son. Look, I know some of the youth from that era read this blog. Who stole my CD, man?! I want answers, people! In any case, that’s how long it’s been since Ms. Hill dropped her “Doo Wop (That Thing)” single. All in all, up until Cardi B, Ms. Hill was the last female rapper to solely top the charts.

Now, before I go any further, let me paint ANOTHER picture, fam. Since Hip Hop‘s inception, only FIVE female rappers have EVER topped the Hot 100, bruh. As it stands, Lauryn, Lil’ Kim (“Lady Marmalade“), Shawna (“Stand Up“), Iggy Azalea (“Fancy“) and now Cardi are the only ones to reach this feat. I mean, what else do I need to say about Cardi’s accomplishment, son?! Shit, that woman has come A LONG way from Sue’s Rendezvous and Love & Hip Hop, man! All jokes aside, how can anyone dislike this story, fam? Real talk, I can’t hate on anyone from the Bronx making moves, bruh. By and by, Cardi is my hero, folks.

In the end, long live Cardi B! Ultimately, I don’t know what else needs to be said, son. Viva la Belcalis Almanzar! That is all. LC out.

Joe Budden Can Still Rap His A*s Off!

Ok, ok, ok, let’s get all of the common Joe Budden narratives out of the way, son. He’s irrelevant, he’s a one-hit wonder, he’s a crackhead and he’s a woman beater who only dates video models. Did I nail all of the social media digs against him? Ok, good. Now that I’ve gotten that out of the way, I must say, I’ve always been a Joe Budden fan. I know, I know, people think I’m in the minority here. However; if folks would get past the words of Twitter and Instagram trolls, they’d realize something easily noticeable: that man can rap his ass off. With that being said, his new album, Rage & The Machine, is exactly what I wanted to hear from this dude.

Now, when I say I’ve always been a Joe Budden fan, I should probably provide some context. I started peeping his skill back when he used to rhyme with Fabolous and Paul Cain on DJ Clue mixtapes. As a matter of fact, it was this particular freestyle that made me a fan. When homie said “I get around, like to travel, like to move my pivot,” I was sold, son. I mean, I’m an East Coast dude, man. We’re all about the punchlines, something that’s painfully missing from Rap right now. In any case, after hearing all of the freestyles, hearing “Focus,” and ultimately, “Pump It Up,” I had to buy his debut album. That’s right, I purchased his debut album, son. Big whoop, wanna fight about it? Moving on, on that album, I used to rock out a lot to “Pusha Man” and wax poetically with my bro Fabian about the virtues of “10 Mins.

So, before I bore everyone out there about my unceasing fandom, it’s safe to say, I’ve been there for the entire ride. I’ve been there for his shelved second album, The Growth. I’ve been there for the Mood Muzik mixtape series. I’ve been there for the Slaughterhouse lyrical exercises. Simply put, I’ve been there, man. However; as much as I enjoy the “emo” records he’s known for these days, he seemed to forget about being the punchline juggernaut he came into the game as. With that being said, Rage & The Machine came along at the right time. With araabMUZIK cooking up nothing but heat on production, the original Joey is back. Needless to say, I’ve been running this album back a lot since it came out on Friday. As of right now, my favorite track on the album is “Idols.” I mean, they flipped a Tevin Campbell sample, son. Tevin Campbell, bro… Exactly.

All in all, people can say whatever they want to, man. I have no problems with giving an artist their just due. While I can’t forgive Joe for his fuckery on Love & Hip Hop and have a few questions about his checkered history with women, I’m still a fan of his lyrics. At least that part of him is infallible, son. Good day.

P.S. Drake took a shot at Kid Cudi while he’s in rehab, but ain’t want no static with Joe. Sucker shit, son. I’m out.