What The F*ck Is LaVar Ball Doing?

So, it’s no secret that I’m not a fan of LaVar Ball. Yes, I hear all of the stories about the positivity of seeing such a visible Black father. However; as a Black father myself, I can still acknowledge the fuckery, son. At this point, I don’t see how anyone could even argue that LaVar has his sons’ best interests at heart. Look, the way I see it, he’s turned this entire situation into The LaVar Ball Show. Real talk, I truly believe he’s fucking up his children’s futures, man.

Ok, let’s begin with LiAngelo, fam. By now, we should all know what the deal is here. LiAngelo did some fuck shit in China, robbed a store, got arrested, got released (because of Donald Trump?) and made it back to America. Now, in light of all of the tomfoolery, UCLA decided to suspend LiAngelo, but still keep him on the team. So, how does LaVar react to this? He removes LiAngelo from school because he believes that his son should be playing right away. Shit, is this man serious, bruh?! His fucking son could’ve ended up in a Chinese prison and he’s acting this ungrateful?! Keeping it a buck, LaVar should be thankful that the university even decided to put up with this shit. I mean, LiAngelo did get arrested DURING A SCHOOL TRIP!

Next, let’s talk about LaMelo. Listen, I’ve already talked about how I’m not sold on this kid. His shooting percentage is terrible, his defense is terrible and he showboats too much. On the real, a kid like him needs as much structure as possible. So, what does LaVar do? He takes him out of Chino Hills High School in order to homeschool him for the next two years. *Sigh* Honestly, what the fuck is LaVar doing, son? Does he really care about the development of his son’s skills? He already has enough deficiencies as it is. I really don’t see how this will help him progress as a player.

Finally, let’s talk about Lonzo. Now, in case anyone hasn’t been paying attention, Lonzo has some of the worst shooting percentages in the NBA. As of right now, he’s shooting 31% from the field, 25% from three-point range and 50% from the free throw line. Look, those are horrific numbers for a player who’s supposed to be the Lord and Savior of the Los Angeles Lakers, son. To make matters worse, the Lakers are enforcing a rule that prohibits media from interviewing family and associates of players. Generally speaking, people see this as the “LaVar Ball Rule” because of his penchant for criticizing coaches, officials and owners. Sheesh, way to go, LaVar!

Look, now that I think about it, this is one of LaVar’s main problems. I mean, he really thinks he knows better than EVERYONE. Listen, he pulled LaMelo out of Chino Hills because he thinks he knows better than the coaches. He pulled LiAngelo out of UCLA because he thinks he knows better than the organization. He’s made life difficult for Lonzo because he’s CONSTANTLY shitting on the Lakers staff. Fam, how the HELL is any of this good for his boys? All I know is, LaVar has become a cancer that’s infecting every aspect of the game.

In the end, people may see this post as hate, but I’ve stated nothing but facts here. All I can say is, LaVar Ball is doing a grave injustice to his sons. Ultimately, all he would need to do is fall back a little and let these teams do their jobs, man. Then again, NONE of that is in LaVar’s nature, fam. With that being said, he’s going to kill this ride before it really gets off of the ground, bruh. By and by, IN SPITE of their father, I hope the sons will still find a way to succeed. That is all. LC out.

Advertisements

Don’t Ever Disrespect Eli Manning!

Man, I’m hot right now, son. Real talk, Ben McAdoo has some fucking nerve, fam! Like, how dare he treat Eli Manning like this?! How dare a second-year NFL head coach treat a New York Giants legend like this, bruh?! I mean, after everything Manning has done for this city, THIS is how the organization is going to do him in?! Keeping it a buck, NY always treats its legends poorly, man. Shit, look at what the Knicks did to Patrick Ewing. All I know is, Manning is unfairly taking the fall for the Giants’ shitty season.

Ok, let me be honest for a second, son. Yes, the Giants are fucking AWFUL this year. Look, nothing good comes out of a 2-9 record, man. Hell, we lost Odell Beckham Jr., lost a couple of close games and completely shit the bed against the Los Angeles Rams. With that being said, Manning has been stereotypically Manning all season. He’s completed 60% of his passes, has an 84 passer rating and a 2:1 touchdown-to-interception ratio. Side bar, he has fumbled the ball 8 times, though, and that’s no bueno, fam. In any case, Manning is NOT the sole reason why the Giants suck, bruh. So, why the FUCK would McAdoo bench him for Geno Smith?!

Listen, Manning gave this city TWO fucking championships, son! Shit, he’s the ONLY dude to ever beat Tom Brady, Bill Belichick and the New England Patriots in the Super Bowl, man. For that reason alone, he should at least be able to finish the damn season, fam! Now, here’s a thought, bruh: maybe the Giants suck because McAdoo sucks as a coach. Oh, has anyone ever thought of that? Look, former coach Tom Coughlin left the team and was able to help turn the Jacksonville Jaguars around. So, maybe McAdoo should look in the fucking mirror, people. All I can say is, he needs to stop taking his own ineptitude out on Manning.

In the end, fuck Ben McAdoo and the Giants coaching staff, son. Ultimately, Manning is the Gawd and deserves more respect than this. By and by, I can’t be mad at a Black dude for getting a shot at the starting job, but I wish it wasn’t at the expense of a legend, man. *Sigh* Ain’t no loyalty in sports, fam. That is all. LC out.

The Worst NBA Playoffs Ever

So, to begin, this post isn’t an indictment on the Golden State Warriors or the Cleveland Cavaliers. Well, not entirely, son. In actuality, today’s sermon is an indictment on the rest of the NBA. I mean, c’mon son! Where was the competition this year, man?! Look, let’s be real for a second, fam. Did anyone really believe that the Finals would feature two different teams? Yeah, I didn’t think so, bruh. All I know is, the remaining NBA teams need to start pulling their collective weight. Otherwise, there isn’t any need to have seasons anymore.

Now, let’s review this year’s playoffs, man. The Dubs and the Cavs entered the Finals with a combined 24-1 record. Like, that’s just stupid, son. Realistically, there weren’t any teams that could stand up to these dudes in either conference. The Washington Wizards can talk all of the shit they want, but they couldn’t get pass the Boston Celtics, bruh. Also, speaking of the Celtics, they literally had one fluke win against the Cavs. Other than that, the entire series was complete and utter domination.

Moving on, I originally heard all of these theories about how the Toronto Raptors would give the Cavs static. Man, those fools couldn’t even rattle off a competent game, fam. On the flip side, the Houston Rockets were supposed to be able to challenge the Dubs. Well, James Harden looked like a scrub for most of that series. In addition, even if Kawhi Leonard never got injured, I’d bet money that the San Antonio Spurs couldn’t win more than two games against the Warriors. Ultimately, outside of some devastating injury or an ill-advised trade, the Cavs and the Dubs will probably keep facing each other in the Finals. All I know is, it’s a fucking buzz kill, bruh.

Keeping it a buck, I was a baby in the 1980‘s, so I can’t talk about the matchup between the Larry Bird-led Celtics and the Magic Johnson-led Los Angeles Lakers. So, maybe this is how people felt during that era too. In any case, I was of age during the Michael Jordan era. Now, even though MJ won all of those titles, at least the games were competitive, man. Look, there was absolutely NO competition in this year’s playoffs, son. The outcome was essentially a foregone conclusion. By and by, the NBA needs to improve in order to keep my attention, fam.

In the end, I just want to see good basketball, bruh. That’s it. All jokes aside, only Warriors or Cavs “fans” could have possibly enjoyed this postseason. Side note, I put “fans” in quotations because NONE of these new clowns are really fans. Listen, don’t talk to me about the Dubs if Run TMC doesn’t ring a bell. Don’t talk to me about the Cavs if Mo Williams doesn’t conjure up memories of mediocrity. Anyway, now is the time for teams to “tool up,” word to Marlo Stanfield. On the real, the game can’t survive in its current form, man. I was fucking bored this season, son. *Sigh* LC out.

LBJ To Miami vs. KD To Golden State

So, I guess I’m about to jump into this debate, huh? I mean, ever since Kevin Durant joined the Golden State Warriors, people have compared his decision to LeBron James going to the Miami Heat. Look, enough is enough, man. Now, on face value, their respective decisions may seem “similar,” but in reality, they’re drastically different. With that being said, it’s time for me to dispel this myth, fam.

First, let’s start with LeBron. The year before he joined the Heat, his Cleveland Cavaliers team had a 61-21 record. They were the top team in the Eastern Conference and we all thought they going to meet Kobe Bryant and the Los Angeles Lakers in the NBA Finals. However; LeBron and company ran into the Boston Celtics in the Semifinals. Needless to say, Paul Pierce, Ray Allen and Kevin Garnett gave them that work, fam. By and by, the Cavs fell in six games.

On the flip side, the Heat had a 47-35 record that same season. They were third in their division and fifth in the East. Also, when they got to the playoffs, they lost to the Celtics in the first round and in five games. So, when LeBron switched teams, he wasn’t joining some powerhouse, son. On the real, they only became a juggernaut after he got there, man.

Now, let’s talk about Durant. The year before he joined the Warriors, his team had a 55-27 record. They were first in their division and third in the Western Conference. Now, here’s where they story gets stupid, fam. His team had a 3-1 lead over the Warriors in the Conference Finals, but then KD CHOKED! Shit, people love to blame Russell Westbrook for everything, but these same people ignore the fact that KD went 10-31 from the field in a Game 6. Keep in mind, the game was in Oklahoma City and it would’ve ended the series. So, if KD didn’t fall flat on his face, then he might’ve won a ring with the Thunder.

Once again, on the flip side, the Warriors had a 73-9 record that same season. Now, for anyone counting, that’s the best regular season record in NBA history. Honestly, they only went after KD because they choked against the Cavs in the Finals and gave up their own 3-1 lead. So, two factions of chokers decided to band together to ensure they don’t fail again.

Ok, now that I’ve laid out all of the information, let me sum this up for everyone. LeBron went to a weaker team and helped to turn them into a champion. Durant went to a championship caliber team, a squad he personally lost to, in hopes of getting that elusive ring. Keeping it a buck, I really don’t see how people compare these two moves. They don’t resemble each other at all, son. By and by, KD took the easiest way out. It just is what it is, fam.

In the end, I’m tired of defending LeBron, son. Listen, I’m not even a Cavs fan, bruh! Ultimately, I’m sick of people making assertions without any type of discernible context. All in all, everyone needs to do some basic research before they speak. That way, they don’t seem as dumb when they present their “hot takes.” In any case, the Finals will probably end tonight, man. We all need to enjoy them while they last. LC out.

Get Jason Whitlock The F*ck Outta Here!

Ok, to be clear, I don’t like Jason Whitlock, son. On the real, in addition to his preposterous social commentary, his sports analysis is also pretty trash. However; I’m not here to talk about some basketball “hot take” right now. In actuality, Whitlock needs to get flamed for the fuck shit he said about LeBron James and racism. Ultimately, these networks need to stop letting their “token” Black guys speak for the community. All I know is, Jason Whitlock doesn’t speak for me or anyone who thinks like me.

Now, for anyone who missed it, LeBron made the news the other day for something outside of ball. Apparently, some piece of shit racist thought it was a good idea to write “nigger” on his Los Angeles home. Thankfully, neither he or his family were present. Anyway, after this ordeal, LeBron was very candid with the media about the ramifications of this act. He spoke about how racism will always be a problem in America, regardless of an individual’s monetary status. In any case, with all of that being said, Jason Whitlock found a way to disagree.

So, in response to LeBron’s comments, Whitlock asserted that LeBron doesn’t face racism because he’s rich. Apparently, when a minority adds a couple of zeroes to their net worth, prejudice and bigotry just magically disappear. I guess Whitlock is not familiar with the story of Dr. Dre being falsely accused of brandishing a gun and getting handcuffed in his own driveway. I guess he’s not familiar with the story of Wyclef Jean getting handcuffed in a case of mistaken identity. I guess he’s not familiar with the story of Just Blaze getting pulled over by police and questioned about the “legitimacy” of his vehicle. Nah, I guess rich Black people never have any problems at all, son.

Listen, I’m not going to be the one to sit here and pretend like rich people deal with the same issues as the disenfranchised. However; material possessions don’t change people’s viewpoints. If a White person hates minorities, a bank account statement is not going to change that. In fact, writing “nigger” on LeBron’s house is a reminder that his money doesn’t matter. In the heart of the person who wrote it, LeBron is still considered “less than.” So, cut the fucking shit, Whitlock!

In the end, Black people like Jason Whitlock make me sick. If he doesn’t want to engage in racial issues, then just shut the fuck up, man! Clearly, we don’t need him on our journey towards equality. By and by, like LaVar Ball said, Whitlock shouldn’t comment on “anything but snacks.” Now, I’ll just sit back and let the “body shaming” brigade come and get me for that last comment. LC out.

How Is Kendrick Lamar Misogynistic?

So, I won’t lie, son, I’m confused. I’m thoroughly, thoroughly confused by some of the criticism Kendrick Lamar is receiving for his “HUMBLE.” lyrics. Now, maybe I’m not as in touch with women’s issues as I thought I was. However; I truly don’t understand how anything he said in that song could be considered misogynistic. All I know is, I would really like someone to explain the problem to me.

Now, before I continue, I’d like to give my audience some advice. Everyone needs to go listen to Kendrick’s new song, son! I mean, that shit is hard as nails, bruh! First off, Mike WiLL Made-It killed the beat. Second, Kendrick resurrected the beat and then killed it again. Third… well, there is no “third,” man. Look, just listen to the song, people!

Moving on, the mini uproar started when Kendrick made a reference to stretch marks in the second verse. Now, the lyrics in question are as follows:

“I’m so fuckin’ sick and tired of the Photoshop

Show me somethin’ natural like afro on Richard Pryor

Show me somethin’ natural like ass with some stretch marks

Still will take you down right on your mama’s couch in Polo socks”

Ok, on face value, I see no reason to beef with these bars, son. When I heard these lines, I took them as him encouraging women to embrace who they naturally are. Yes, women absolutely have the right to make any change they see fit. However; a lady’s individuality should be uplifted too, man. No, a woman should not be defined solely based on her looks, but just because a man makes a comment doesn’t mean that’s all he values from the opposite sex.

Look, we live in a society that constantly tries to dictate the standard of beauty. Day after day, tons of women go to the same plastic surgeons in an effort to look like some stereotypical type of person. I mean, just take one look at all of the “models” on Instagram, son. I literally can’t tell a lot of them apart anymore. To make matters worse, others are actually dying from trying to keep up with these homogeneous depictions of femininity.

Hell, just look at the story of Kanye West‘s mom, Donda West. Apparently, she didn’t feel beautiful enough while living in Los Angeles. So, she tried to alter her appearance and it led to her death. Too add insult to injury, Kanye has previously stated that he blames himself for exposing her to this kind of environment. Ultimately, what was it all for, man?

In the end, despite the length of this post, I still don’t feel like I have a handle on this situation. With that being said, can someone explain the issue to me? I never thought I’d see the day when someone would be criticized for telling women that they’re beautiful the way they are. I guess I’m just clueless out here, bruh. LC out.

Joseph Fiennes Killed Michael Jackson Again

So, I want everyone reading this to take a hard look at the picture above. LOOK AT THAT SHIT, MAN! Who approved this fuckery, son?! Why would Hollywood allow this bullshit to happen? I know the film industry has a long, looooooong history of Whitewashing historically Black characters, but this is out of control, man. All I know is, Joseph Fiennes and the entire staff of Elizabeth, Michael & Marlon need to be beaten with rubber hoses for what they did to Michael Jackson.

Now, before I continue eviscerating Fiennes for the bullshit makeup on his face, I want to talk about the plot of this movie. So, apparently, right after the 9/11 attacks, Jackson, Elizabeth Taylor and Marlon Brando hopped in a car and road tripped with each other from New York to California. Needless to say, shenanigans ensued along the way. *Sigh* Like, that’s a real plot, son. I mean, let’s put all of this into perspective. First, a screenplay was written about this. Next, a director signed on to make this. Finally, a cast and crew was put together to complete this. Along the way, ANYONE could’ve been like “ay, yo, this is a stupid ass idea.” However; NO ONE said that, son. I’m fucking baffled, man. Absolutely baffled.

Ok, getting back to Fiennes, I have so many fucking questions, son. First, why was this White dude allowed to play one of our greatest Black icons in the first place? Look, this isn’t a fictional character where it’s up to interpretation. Michael Joseph Jackson was a living, breathing human being and he was BLACK! All the vitiligo and plastic surgery in the world couldn’t change the fact that he was a Negro from Gary, Indiana, bro. Now, if anyone questions that, just go look at the rest of his family, man. Shit, Jermaine Jackson‘s face is probably super greasy as we speak, son.

Moving on, let’s talk about Fiennes’ makeup. Ok, look, in the latter parts of his life, MJ looked like a damn fool, son. I’ll be the first to admit that. With that being said, how in the fuck does Fiennes look even worse than the real MJ? How, Sway? How?! Bruh, I’m sure there are a billion pictures of Michael circulating around the internet right now. This crew couldn’t do a better job of approximating that man’s face?! I… I’m at a fucking loss for words, son. Mixing gall with an utter lack of execution is dangerous as all hell, man. 

In the end, I’m speechless, son. Joseph Fiennes and the cast of Elizabeth, Michael & Marlon murdered MJ for a second time. Shit, they need to be in prison with Conrad Murray. Look, even though Murray was an incompetent doctor, he wasn’t aiming to kill Mike. On the other hand, the clowns who worked on this movie did this bullshit on purpose. *Sigh* I’m out.