Don’t Tell Me You’re A Lakers Fan Now

So, he really did it, huh? LeBron James really signed with the Los Angeles Lakers, huh? Shit, after all of the theories and all of the speculation, he really moved to the Western Conference, huh? All in all, my least favorite part of being a basketball aficionado is about to go into overdrive, son: dealing with bandwagon fans. All I know is, I don’t want to hear ANY of these new motherfuckers try to convince me that they’re Lakers fans now, man.

Look, I may be wrong, but I feel like James is responsible for this new era of fandom. Like, instead of being fans of teams, people have become fans of players. Because of this, whatever team their favorite player is on, that’s the team these people root for. Hell, in James’s case, I’ve watched folks be Cleveland Cavaliers fans, then Miami Heat fans and back to Cavs fans. Real talk, they don’t know ANYTHING about these teams other than the fact that James was on them. In any case, despite the reality that it’ll irritate the SHIT out of me, I’m already preparing myself for these brand new Lakers “fans.”

In the end, the next NBA season is about to be WILD, fam! Ultimately, it looks like I’ll finally get my wish of seeing new teams in the Finals, bruh. All I can say is, James’s run of consecutive Finals appearances is over, son. I mean, there’s NO WAY he’s getting past the Golden State Warriors, man. Seriously, he has NO chance in the 9 Circles of Hell, fam.

As of right now, I’m picking Kevin Durant, Steph Curry and the Warriors to face Kyrie Irving and the Boston Celtics in the Finals. By and by, we’ll see how this Lakers experiment will work for James. The way I see it, he’s waiting for Kawhi Leonard to join him next year. For now, he’ll just have to put up with the shenanigans of Lonzo Ball and Kyle Kuzma. That is all. LC out.

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Nas Album Done?!

Now, this is exactly what I’m talking about, son. Look, as soon as Kanye West gets me excited about something, he turns around and does some fuckity-fuck shit. I mean, that’s precisely what happened when he praised resident Fox News lackey, Candace Owens. However, per usual, I’m going to TRY and ignore the bullshit, man. Especially since he tweeted out some more big news, fam: he’s apparently producing on Nas‘ next album. All I know is, if he’s really telling the truth, then I have no idea how to contain my joy, bruh.

Ok, for those who missed it, Kanye is still on a roll when it comes to potential new releases. Now, last week, he promised fresh music from Pusha T, KiD Cudi, Teyana Taylor and himself. Keeping it a buck, that was MORE than enough to get me amped, son. However, Kanye had to one-up himself with the announcement of a new Nas album. Hell, I guess he’s trying to make good on his vow to Barack Obama to make beats for Nasir. In any case, I honestly pray that Ye is not fucking with us, man. Seriously, my heart doesn’t need these kind of palpitations, fam.

Moving on, Kanye also stated that he’s back to chopping samples and making tracks by hand. Side note, he also said he’s making beats in the “sunken place,” but there’s only so much fuckery I can address in one post, bruh. Anyway, I’m super intrigued to hear what “Chop Up The Soul” Kanye sounds like in 2018, son. On the real, I just hope he’s not rusty, man. All in all, I really believe that he was at his best when he was creating on the ASR-10 and MPC, fam. Look those drum machines up, people. Google is everybody’s friend.

In the end, today is a good day, bruh. Ultimately, the prospect of all of this new music is almost too much to handle, son. By and by, May and June can’t come soon enough, man. Viva la good music, pun intended! LC out.

P.S. I also got wind of Kyle Kuzma‘s challenge to Lonzo Ball, son. Apparently, he wants Zo to drop an album on the same day as Nas. *Sigh* This is all because of the stupid ass shit that Zo said about Nas about a year ago. Listen, all I can say is, I’m officially an old head now, man. I swear, I hate these young dudes with a passion, fam. That is all.

What The F*ck Is LaVar Ball Doing?

So, it’s no secret that I’m not a fan of LaVar Ball. Yes, I hear all of the stories about the positivity of seeing such a visible Black father. However; as a Black father myself, I can still acknowledge the fuckery, son. At this point, I don’t see how anyone could even argue that LaVar has his sons’ best interests at heart. Look, the way I see it, he’s turned this entire situation into The LaVar Ball Show. Real talk, I truly believe he’s fucking up his children’s futures, man.

Ok, let’s begin with LiAngelo, fam. By now, we should all know what the deal is here. LiAngelo did some fuck shit in China, robbed a store, got arrested, got released (because of Donald Trump?) and made it back to America. Now, in light of all of the tomfoolery, UCLA decided to suspend LiAngelo, but still keep him on the team. So, how does LaVar react to this? He removes LiAngelo from school because he believes that his son should be playing right away. Shit, is this man serious, bruh?! His fucking son could’ve ended up in a Chinese prison and he’s acting this ungrateful?! Keeping it a buck, LaVar should be thankful that the university even decided to put up with this shit. I mean, LiAngelo did get arrested DURING A SCHOOL TRIP!

Next, let’s talk about LaMelo. Listen, I’ve already talked about how I’m not sold on this kid. His shooting percentage is terrible, his defense is terrible and he showboats too much. On the real, a kid like him needs as much structure as possible. So, what does LaVar do? He takes him out of Chino Hills High School in order to homeschool him for the next two years. *Sigh* Honestly, what the fuck is LaVar doing, son? Does he really care about the development of his son’s skills? He already has enough deficiencies as it is. I really don’t see how this will help him progress as a player.

Finally, let’s talk about Lonzo. Now, in case anyone hasn’t been paying attention, Lonzo has some of the worst shooting percentages in the NBA. As of right now, he’s shooting 31% from the field, 25% from three-point range and 50% from the free throw line. Look, those are horrific numbers for a player who’s supposed to be the Lord and Savior of the Los Angeles Lakers, son. To make matters worse, the Lakers are enforcing a rule that prohibits media from interviewing family and associates of players. Generally speaking, people see this as the “LaVar Ball Rule” because of his penchant for criticizing coaches, officials and owners. Sheesh, way to go, LaVar!

Look, now that I think about it, this is one of LaVar’s main problems. I mean, he really thinks he knows better than EVERYONE. Listen, he pulled LaMelo out of Chino Hills because he thinks he knows better than the coaches. He pulled LiAngelo out of UCLA because he thinks he knows better than the organization. He’s made life difficult for Lonzo because he’s CONSTANTLY shitting on the Lakers staff. Fam, how the HELL is any of this good for his boys? All I know is, LaVar has become a cancer that’s infecting every aspect of the game.

In the end, people may see this post as hate, but I’ve stated nothing but facts here. All I can say is, LaVar Ball is doing a grave injustice to his sons. Ultimately, all he would need to do is fall back a little and let these teams do their jobs, man. Then again, NONE of that is in LaVar’s nature, fam. With that being said, he’s going to kill this ride before it really gets off of the ground, bruh. By and by, IN SPITE of their father, I hope the sons will still find a way to succeed. That is all. LC out.

What The F*ck Was LiAngelo Ball Thinking?

Disclaimer: Everything is alleged, but that’s not going to stop me from giving out this work, son. Ok, let’s carry on, man.

Look, let me begin this post by saying that I know what’s it’s like to be an 18-year-old idiot. I know what it’s like to do dumb shit thinking I could never get caught. Shit, if I’m being real, I don’t think I stopped engaging in regular fuckery until I was like 25 years old, son. By then, I was someone’s dad, so something had to give, man. With that being said, a part of me wants to go easy on LiAngelo Ball. However; when we consider all of the perks of being part of the Ball family right now, LiAngelo is looking like a plum fool, fam. Listen, at the end of the day, don’t do anything to fuck up the money, bruh!

Ok, for those who missed it, the UCLA men’s basketball team is currently in China. Now, when it comes to athletes, especially male athletes, a certain level of tomfoolery is expected. However; Ball, Cody Riley and Jalen Hill just got themselves into some real shit, son. Just yesterday, they were arrested for stealing sunglasses from a Louis Vuitton store. To make matters worse, if these dudes are convicted of a crime, they could face 3-10 years in prison, man. *Sigh* Was any of this shit worth it, fam?

Listen, let’s be honest for a second, bruh. As of right now, it’s a damn privilege to be part of the Ball family. Between Lonzo Ball’s skill set and LaVar Ball’s insanity, they have laid the foundation for a lucrative self-contained business. Hell, with LaMelo Ball also waiting in the wings, the Ball family could keep the money train rolling for a good period of time, son. So, why would LiAngelo jeopardize any of this for a pair of sunglasses, man? Yeah, maybe I’m being a little harsh, but when dealing with millions, EVERYONE has to keep their eyes on the prize, fam.

In the end, I hope China lets these dudes skate, bruh. Ultimately, serving major prison time over some shit like this would be crazy, folks. In any case, I hope LiAngelo learns a valuable lesson from this: DON’T FUCK UP THE MONEY, SON! All in all, one pair of sunglasses isn’t worth a lifetime of earning potential, man. That is all. LC out.

Stop Talking, LaVar Ball

So, ever since the media put a microphone in front of LaVar Ball, he’s been nothing but a hot take machine. At this point, he’s made it a habit of saying something outlandish every single day. All I know is, he needs to shut the fuck up now. Look, I know the man loves his sons Lonzo, LiAngelo and LaMelo. However; if he doesn’t slow the fuck down, he’s going to doom those dudes before their careers even get started.

Now, before I continue, let me be clear on one thing. I’m not downing this man for believing in his children. Shit, I have two sons and I think the world of them too. I legitimately believe they can do anything and I actively try to instill that ideology in them. But, when it comes to LaVar, my issue is his own personal ego. The more he speaks to the media, the more it seems like he wants the attention for himself and not for his sons.

For example, just take a look at his comments about Michael Jordan and Charles Barkley. First, he claimed that he would “kill” MJ one-on-one. Now, this statement came from a man who averaged 2.2 points per game while playing Division II basketball. Bruh, I’m pretty sure that wouldn’t do shit against a former NCAA champion and former National Player of the Year. I mean, Jordan was a legend before he played an NBA game, son. Ball needs to sit the fuck down here.

Next, Ball stated that if Barkley thought like him, then maybe he would’ve won a championship. Once again, I point to the fact that homie was a highly subpar college player. What the fuck can Ball teach an all-time top 5 power forward about winning? Homie couldn’t even make it to a Division I school. Man, if this dude doesn’t get the fuckity-fuck outta here with the tomfoolery!

Moving on, pay attention to the fact that Ball’s sons weren’t the topic of conversation in any of those last two paragraphs. That’s my point, son. If Ball wants to hype his children up, then by all means, go right ahead. However; when Ball himself is the storyline, he’s doing his boys a disservice. Look, just calm the fuck down and let those dudes play basketball, man. Oh, and fix LaMelo’s shot, bruh. Keeping it a buck, he ain’t Lonzo, man. I’ve already written about the fact that I’m not the biggest fan of Melo’s game. But, that’s neither here nor there.

In the end, LaVar Ball just needs to be cool. Let his sons prove their worth on the court. Until then, his words don’t fucking matter. Lonzo can prove whether or not he’s better than Stephen Curry and LeBron James when he plays against them. However; after LeBron’s latest reaction, I wouldn’t be surprised if he has a chase-down block waiting for Lonzo. LC out.

I Don’t Know About LaMelo Ball

Look, I already know what some people are going to say, son. Any time someone has a dissenting view from popular opinion, that person is labeled a “hater.” With that being said, call me whatever, but I’m not sold on LaMelo Ball. Yes, the high school sophomore/UCLA-commit can ball (no pun intended), but I think his coaches give him WAY too much freedom, man. At this point, the way I see it, LaMelo is going to have a hard time at the next level if he thinks teams are going to just let him run wild.

Now, before I continue, let me give the kid his props. During a game against Los Osos last night, the Chino Hills star scored 92 points. 92 fucking points, son! Like, that’s absolutely absurd, man! The wildest part is, he’s not even the best Ball on the team. His older brother, UCLA-bound senior LiAngelo Ball, sat out the game with an ankle injury. That gave his little brother the opportunity to make his peers look like a bunch of aimless toddlers. Shit, while we’re on the subject, both LiAngelo and LaMelo are still trailing their oldest brother, Lonzo Ball. As it stands right now, the eldest Ball brother is lighting shit up at UCLA. Good Lord, son, that’s a talented ass family. Word to Lavar and Tina Ball.

Ok, now that we’ve gotten that out of the way, let me explain my issue with LaMelo’s game. First, let’s start with the aforementioned 92-point game. Even though he shot 37-61 from the field, he was only 7-22 from three-point range. Why the fuck is this kid allowed to take 22 three-pointers and MISS 15 of them? Moving on from that, there are numerous clips floating around of LaMelo hitting half-court shots during games, a la Stephen Curry. Bruh, why the fuck would his coaches allow him to showboat like that during active competition? The kid is only a sophomore in high school, son! Is this type of behavior supposed to represent good sportsmanship? In addition, don’t even get me started on the fact that he was blocked during one of his half-court attempts.

To be clear, my problem here is the fact that his game isn’t developed enough for him to be this flashy. From the footage I’ve seen of him, I hate his shooting form. Yeah, Curry takes a lot of wild shots, but his release is lightning quick and scarily accurate. LaMelo’s wind up is waaaaay too slow for all of the fuck shit, son. At this rate, by the time he gets to UCLA, defenders are going to be punching his shot left and right. I mean, it’s easy to make everything look effortless against high school talent, but try that against a hoard of players who were also the shit in high school. Unless he matures, he’s going to have a very rude awakening in college.

Ultimately, he’s still really young, so everything I just said could end up being bullshit. All I know is, I need the kid to play some defense and shoot a better percentage to justify his swag. LC out.