What The F*ck Is LaVar Ball Doing?

So, it’s no secret that I’m not a fan of LaVar Ball. Yes, I hear all of the stories about the positivity of seeing such a visible Black father. However; as a Black father myself, I can still acknowledge the fuckery, son. At this point, I don’t see how anyone could even argue that LaVar has his sons’ best interests at heart. Look, the way I see it, he’s turned this entire situation into The LaVar Ball Show. Real talk, I truly believe he’s fucking up his children’s futures, man.

Ok, let’s begin with LiAngelo, fam. By now, we should all know what the deal is here. LiAngelo did some fuck shit in China, robbed a store, got arrested, got released (because of Donald Trump?) and made it back to America. Now, in light of all of the tomfoolery, UCLA decided to suspend LiAngelo, but still keep him on the team. So, how does LaVar react to this? He removes LiAngelo from school because he believes that his son should be playing right away. Shit, is this man serious, bruh?! His fucking son could’ve ended up in a Chinese prison and he’s acting this ungrateful?! Keeping it a buck, LaVar should be thankful that the university even decided to put up with this shit. I mean, LiAngelo did get arrested DURING A SCHOOL TRIP!

Next, let’s talk about LaMelo. Listen, I’ve already talked about how I’m not sold on this kid. His shooting percentage is terrible, his defense is terrible and he showboats too much. On the real, a kid like him needs as much structure as possible. So, what does LaVar do? He takes him out of Chino Hills High School in order to homeschool him for the next two years. *Sigh* Honestly, what the fuck is LaVar doing, son? Does he really care about the development of his son’s skills? He already has enough deficiencies as it is. I really don’t see how this will help him progress as a player.

Finally, let’s talk about Lonzo. Now, in case anyone hasn’t been paying attention, Lonzo has some of the worst shooting percentages in the NBA. As of right now, he’s shooting 31% from the field, 25% from three-point range and 50% from the free throw line. Look, those are horrific numbers for a player who’s supposed to be the Lord and Savior of the Los Angeles Lakers, son. To make matters worse, the Lakers are enforcing a rule that prohibits media from interviewing family and associates of players. Generally speaking, people see this as the “LaVar Ball Rule” because of his penchant for criticizing coaches, officials and owners. Sheesh, way to go, LaVar!

Look, now that I think about it, this is one of LaVar’s main problems. I mean, he really thinks he knows better than EVERYONE. Listen, he pulled LaMelo out of Chino Hills because he thinks he knows better than the coaches. He pulled LiAngelo out of UCLA because he thinks he knows better than the organization. He’s made life difficult for Lonzo because he’s CONSTANTLY shitting on the Lakers staff. Fam, how the HELL is any of this good for his boys? All I know is, LaVar has become a cancer that’s infecting every aspect of the game.

In the end, people may see this post as hate, but I’ve stated nothing but facts here. All I can say is, LaVar Ball is doing a grave injustice to his sons. Ultimately, all he would need to do is fall back a little and let these teams do their jobs, man. Then again, NONE of that is in LaVar’s nature, fam. With that being said, he’s going to kill this ride before it really gets off of the ground, bruh. By and by, IN SPITE of their father, I hope the sons will still find a way to succeed. That is all. LC out.


LeVar Burton Is NOT LaVar Ball!

So, I’m going to be honest, son. A lot of times, I don’t know who’s stupider, man: Donald Trump or his supporters. Like, I’ve never seen a group of people more allergic to facts and information, fam. With that being said, this LaVar Ball situation ranks high on the fuckery scale, bruh. Keeping it a buck, it’s not even because of the feud between Ball and Trump. All in all, I need to eviscerate these fucktards for confusing Ball and the legendary LeVar Burton.

Ok, for those who’ve had better things to do, let me recap this entire fiasco. First, things began when LiAngelo Ball and company stole some shit in China. Now, there’s no need to revisit that entire story because I’ve already wrote about it, son. Next, Trump tweeted some shit about getting the UCLA players released. From there, the teammates were allowed to leave the country and Trump came looking for credit. LaVar basically gave 45 the middle finger and they’ve been at a war of words ever since. Side bar, the fucking President is arguing with a basketball dad on Twitter. Just let that sink in, folks.

In any case, since they never want to be left out of the tomfoolery, Trump supporters decided to come to their hero’s aid. Now, here’s where the problems arise, man: they set their crosshairs on the wrong individual! Essentially, over the last few days, they’ve been attacking LeVar Burton on social media. Look, Burton ain’t got shit to do with this, fam! This dude gave us Roots, Reading Rainbow and Star Trek: The Next Generation! Have some fucking respect, people! Shit, I swear I’ve NEVER seen a dumber group of carpetbaggers in my whole life, bruh! They just don’t give a flying fuck about verifiable knowledge, son!

In the end, I don’t even know why I’m surprised, man. Intelligence is simply NOT the calling card of these folks, fam. Ultimately, we need to protect LeVar Burton at all costs, bruh. On the real, that man has dropped too many gems to be disrespected in this manner. By and by, viva la Kunta Kinte! LC out.

What The F*ck Was LiAngelo Ball Thinking?

Disclaimer: Everything is alleged, but that’s not going to stop me from giving out this work, son. Ok, let’s carry on, man.

Look, let me begin this post by saying that I know what’s it’s like to be an 18-year-old idiot. I know what it’s like to do dumb shit thinking I could never get caught. Shit, if I’m being real, I don’t think I stopped engaging in regular fuckery until I was like 25 years old, son. By then, I was someone’s dad, so something had to give, man. With that being said, a part of me wants to go easy on LiAngelo Ball. However; when we consider all of the perks of being part of the Ball family right now, LiAngelo is looking like a plum fool, fam. Listen, at the end of the day, don’t do anything to fuck up the money, bruh!

Ok, for those who missed it, the UCLA men’s basketball team is currently in China. Now, when it comes to athletes, especially male athletes, a certain level of tomfoolery is expected. However; Ball, Cody Riley and Jalen Hill just got themselves into some real shit, son. Just yesterday, they were arrested for stealing sunglasses from a Louis Vuitton store. To make matters worse, if these dudes are convicted of a crime, they could face 3-10 years in prison, man. *Sigh* Was any of this shit worth it, fam?

Listen, let’s be honest for a second, bruh. As of right now, it’s a damn privilege to be part of the Ball family. Between Lonzo Ball’s skill set and LaVar Ball’s insanity, they have laid the foundation for a lucrative self-contained business. Hell, with LaMelo Ball also waiting in the wings, the Ball family could keep the money train rolling for a good period of time, son. So, why would LiAngelo jeopardize any of this for a pair of sunglasses, man? Yeah, maybe I’m being a little harsh, but when dealing with millions, EVERYONE has to keep their eyes on the prize, fam.

In the end, I hope China lets these dudes skate, bruh. Ultimately, serving major prison time over some shit like this would be crazy, folks. In any case, I hope LiAngelo learns a valuable lesson from this: DON’T FUCK UP THE MONEY, SON! All in all, one pair of sunglasses isn’t worth a lifetime of earning potential, man. That is all. LC out.

Stop Talking, LaVar Ball

So, ever since the media put a microphone in front of LaVar Ball, he’s been nothing but a hot take machine. At this point, he’s made it a habit of saying something outlandish every single day. All I know is, he needs to shut the fuck up now. Look, I know the man loves his sons Lonzo, LiAngelo and LaMelo. However; if he doesn’t slow the fuck down, he’s going to doom those dudes before their careers even get started.

Now, before I continue, let me be clear on one thing. I’m not downing this man for believing in his children. Shit, I have two sons and I think the world of them too. I legitimately believe they can do anything and I actively try to instill that ideology in them. But, when it comes to LaVar, my issue is his own personal ego. The more he speaks to the media, the more it seems like he wants the attention for himself and not for his sons.

For example, just take a look at his comments about Michael Jordan and Charles Barkley. First, he claimed that he would “kill” MJ one-on-one. Now, this statement came from a man who averaged 2.2 points per game while playing Division II basketball. Bruh, I’m pretty sure that wouldn’t do shit against a former NCAA champion and former National Player of the Year. I mean, Jordan was a legend before he played an NBA game, son. Ball needs to sit the fuck down here.

Next, Ball stated that if Barkley thought like him, then maybe he would’ve won a championship. Once again, I point to the fact that homie was a highly subpar college player. What the fuck can Ball teach an all-time top 5 power forward about winning? Homie couldn’t even make it to a Division I school. Man, if this dude doesn’t get the fuckity-fuck outta here with the tomfoolery!

Moving on, pay attention to the fact that Ball’s sons weren’t the topic of conversation in any of those last two paragraphs. That’s my point, son. If Ball wants to hype his children up, then by all means, go right ahead. However; when Ball himself is the storyline, he’s doing his boys a disservice. Look, just calm the fuck down and let those dudes play basketball, man. Oh, and fix LaMelo’s shot, bruh. Keeping it a buck, he ain’t Lonzo, man. I’ve already written about the fact that I’m not the biggest fan of Melo’s game. But, that’s neither here nor there.

In the end, LaVar Ball just needs to be cool. Let his sons prove their worth on the court. Until then, his words don’t fucking matter. Lonzo can prove whether or not he’s better than Stephen Curry and LeBron James when he plays against them. However; after LeBron’s latest reaction, I wouldn’t be surprised if he has a chase-down block waiting for Lonzo. LC out.

I Don’t Know About LaMelo Ball

Look, I already know what some people are going to say, son. Any time someone has a dissenting view from popular opinion, that person is labeled a “hater.” With that being said, call me whatever, but I’m not sold on LaMelo Ball. Yes, the high school sophomore/UCLA-commit can ball (no pun intended), but I think his coaches give him WAY too much freedom, man. At this point, the way I see it, LaMelo is going to have a hard time at the next level if he thinks teams are going to just let him run wild.

Now, before I continue, let me give the kid his props. During a game against Los Osos last night, the Chino Hills star scored 92 points. 92 fucking points, son! Like, that’s absolutely absurd, man! The wildest part is, he’s not even the best Ball on the team. His older brother, UCLA-bound senior LiAngelo Ball, sat out the game with an ankle injury. That gave his little brother the opportunity to make his peers look like a bunch of aimless toddlers. Shit, while we’re on the subject, both LiAngelo and LaMelo are still trailing their oldest brother, Lonzo Ball. As it stands right now, the eldest Ball brother is lighting shit up at UCLA. Good Lord, son, that’s a talented ass family. Word to Lavar and Tina Ball.

Ok, now that we’ve gotten that out of the way, let me explain my issue with LaMelo’s game. First, let’s start with the aforementioned 92-point game. Even though he shot 37-61 from the field, he was only 7-22 from three-point range. Why the fuck is this kid allowed to take 22 three-pointers and MISS 15 of them? Moving on from that, there are numerous clips floating around of LaMelo hitting half-court shots during games, a la Stephen Curry. Bruh, why the fuck would his coaches allow him to showboat like that during active competition? The kid is only a sophomore in high school, son! Is this type of behavior supposed to represent good sportsmanship? In addition, don’t even get me started on the fact that he was blocked during one of his half-court attempts.

To be clear, my problem here is the fact that his game isn’t developed enough for him to be this flashy. From the footage I’ve seen of him, I hate his shooting form. Yeah, Curry takes a lot of wild shots, but his release is lightning quick and scarily accurate. LaMelo’s wind up is waaaaay too slow for all of the fuck shit, son. At this rate, by the time he gets to UCLA, defenders are going to be punching his shot left and right. I mean, it’s easy to make everything look effortless against high school talent, but try that against a hoard of players who were also the shit in high school. Unless he matures, he’s going to have a very rude awakening in college.

Ultimately, he’s still really young, so everything I just said could end up being bullshit. All I know is, I need the kid to play some defense and shoot a better percentage to justify his swag. LC out.