What The F*ck Is LaVar Ball Doing?

So, it’s no secret that I’m not a fan of LaVar Ball. Yes, I hear all of the stories about the positivity of seeing such a visible Black father. However; as a Black father myself, I can still acknowledge the fuckery, son. At this point, I don’t see how anyone could even argue that LaVar has his sons’ best interests at heart. Look, the way I see it, he’s turned this entire situation into The LaVar Ball Show. Real talk, I truly believe he’s fucking up his children’s futures, man.

Ok, let’s begin with LiAngelo, fam. By now, we should all know what the deal is here. LiAngelo did some fuck shit in China, robbed a store, got arrested, got released (because of Donald Trump?) and made it back to America. Now, in light of all of the tomfoolery, UCLA decided to suspend LiAngelo, but still keep him on the team. So, how does LaVar react to this? He removes LiAngelo from school because he believes that his son should be playing right away. Shit, is this man serious, bruh?! His fucking son could’ve ended up in a Chinese prison and he’s acting this ungrateful?! Keeping it a buck, LaVar should be thankful that the university even decided to put up with this shit. I mean, LiAngelo did get arrested DURING A SCHOOL TRIP!

Next, let’s talk about LaMelo. Listen, I’ve already talked about how I’m not sold on this kid. His shooting percentage is terrible, his defense is terrible and he showboats too much. On the real, a kid like him needs as much structure as possible. So, what does LaVar do? He takes him out of Chino Hills High School in order to homeschool him for the next two years. *Sigh* Honestly, what the fuck is LaVar doing, son? Does he really care about the development of his son’s skills? He already has enough deficiencies as it is. I really don’t see how this will help him progress as a player.

Finally, let’s talk about Lonzo. Now, in case anyone hasn’t been paying attention, Lonzo has some of the worst shooting percentages in the NBA. As of right now, he’s shooting 31% from the field, 25% from three-point range and 50% from the free throw line. Look, those are horrific numbers for a player who’s supposed to be the Lord and Savior of the Los Angeles Lakers, son. To make matters worse, the Lakers are enforcing a rule that prohibits media from interviewing family and associates of players. Generally speaking, people see this as the “LaVar Ball Rule” because of his penchant for criticizing coaches, officials and owners. Sheesh, way to go, LaVar!

Look, now that I think about it, this is one of LaVar’s main problems. I mean, he really thinks he knows better than EVERYONE. Listen, he pulled LaMelo out of Chino Hills because he thinks he knows better than the coaches. He pulled LiAngelo out of UCLA because he thinks he knows better than the organization. He’s made life difficult for Lonzo because he’s CONSTANTLY shitting on the Lakers staff. Fam, how the HELL is any of this good for his boys? All I know is, LaVar has become a cancer that’s infecting every aspect of the game.

In the end, people may see this post as hate, but I’ve stated nothing but facts here. All I can say is, LaVar Ball is doing a grave injustice to his sons. Ultimately, all he would need to do is fall back a little and let these teams do their jobs, man. Then again, NONE of that is in LaVar’s nature, fam. With that being said, he’s going to kill this ride before it really gets off of the ground, bruh. By and by, IN SPITE of their father, I hope the sons will still find a way to succeed. That is all. LC out.

Advertisements

The Worst NBA Playoffs Ever

So, to begin, this post isn’t an indictment on the Golden State Warriors or the Cleveland Cavaliers. Well, not entirely, son. In actuality, today’s sermon is an indictment on the rest of the NBA. I mean, c’mon son! Where was the competition this year, man?! Look, let’s be real for a second, fam. Did anyone really believe that the Finals would feature two different teams? Yeah, I didn’t think so, bruh. All I know is, the remaining NBA teams need to start pulling their collective weight. Otherwise, there isn’t any need to have seasons anymore.

Now, let’s review this year’s playoffs, man. The Dubs and the Cavs entered the Finals with a combined 24-1 record. Like, that’s just stupid, son. Realistically, there weren’t any teams that could stand up to these dudes in either conference. The Washington Wizards can talk all of the shit they want, but they couldn’t get pass the Boston Celtics, bruh. Also, speaking of the Celtics, they literally had one fluke win against the Cavs. Other than that, the entire series was complete and utter domination.

Moving on, I originally heard all of these theories about how the Toronto Raptors would give the Cavs static. Man, those fools couldn’t even rattle off a competent game, fam. On the flip side, the Houston Rockets were supposed to be able to challenge the Dubs. Well, James Harden looked like a scrub for most of that series. In addition, even if Kawhi Leonard never got injured, I’d bet money that the San Antonio Spurs couldn’t win more than two games against the Warriors. Ultimately, outside of some devastating injury or an ill-advised trade, the Cavs and the Dubs will probably keep facing each other in the Finals. All I know is, it’s a fucking buzz kill, bruh.

Keeping it a buck, I was a baby in the 1980‘s, so I can’t talk about the matchup between the Larry Bird-led Celtics and the Magic Johnson-led Los Angeles Lakers. So, maybe this is how people felt during that era too. In any case, I was of age during the Michael Jordan era. Now, even though MJ won all of those titles, at least the games were competitive, man. Look, there was absolutely NO competition in this year’s playoffs, son. The outcome was essentially a foregone conclusion. By and by, the NBA needs to improve in order to keep my attention, fam.

In the end, I just want to see good basketball, bruh. That’s it. All jokes aside, only Warriors or Cavs “fans” could have possibly enjoyed this postseason. Side note, I put “fans” in quotations because NONE of these new clowns are really fans. Listen, don’t talk to me about the Dubs if Run TMC doesn’t ring a bell. Don’t talk to me about the Cavs if Mo Williams doesn’t conjure up memories of mediocrity. Anyway, now is the time for teams to “tool up,” word to Marlo Stanfield. On the real, the game can’t survive in its current form, man. I was fucking bored this season, son. *Sigh* LC out.

LBJ To Miami vs. KD To Golden State

So, I guess I’m about to jump into this debate, huh? I mean, ever since Kevin Durant joined the Golden State Warriors, people have compared his decision to LeBron James going to the Miami Heat. Look, enough is enough, man. Now, on face value, their respective decisions may seem “similar,” but in reality, they’re drastically different. With that being said, it’s time for me to dispel this myth, fam.

First, let’s start with LeBron. The year before he joined the Heat, his Cleveland Cavaliers team had a 61-21 record. They were the top team in the Eastern Conference and we all thought they going to meet Kobe Bryant and the Los Angeles Lakers in the NBA Finals. However; LeBron and company ran into the Boston Celtics in the Semifinals. Needless to say, Paul Pierce, Ray Allen and Kevin Garnett gave them that work, fam. By and by, the Cavs fell in six games.

On the flip side, the Heat had a 47-35 record that same season. They were third in their division and fifth in the East. Also, when they got to the playoffs, they lost to the Celtics in the first round and in five games. So, when LeBron switched teams, he wasn’t joining some powerhouse, son. On the real, they only became a juggernaut after he got there, man.

Now, let’s talk about Durant. The year before he joined the Warriors, his team had a 55-27 record. They were first in their division and third in the Western Conference. Now, here’s where they story gets stupid, fam. His team had a 3-1 lead over the Warriors in the Conference Finals, but then KD CHOKED! Shit, people love to blame Russell Westbrook for everything, but these same people ignore the fact that KD went 10-31 from the field in a Game 6. Keep in mind, the game was in Oklahoma City and it would’ve ended the series. So, if KD didn’t fall flat on his face, then he might’ve won a ring with the Thunder.

Once again, on the flip side, the Warriors had a 73-9 record that same season. Now, for anyone counting, that’s the best regular season record in NBA history. Honestly, they only went after KD because they choked against the Cavs in the Finals and gave up their own 3-1 lead. So, two factions of chokers decided to band together to ensure they don’t fail again.

Ok, now that I’ve laid out all of the information, let me sum this up for everyone. LeBron went to a weaker team and helped to turn them into a champion. Durant went to a championship caliber team, a squad he personally lost to, in hopes of getting that elusive ring. Keeping it a buck, I really don’t see how people compare these two moves. They don’t resemble each other at all, son. By and by, KD took the easiest way out. It just is what it is, fam.

In the end, I’m tired of defending LeBron, son. Listen, I’m not even a Cavs fan, bruh! Ultimately, I’m sick of people making assertions without any type of discernible context. All in all, everyone needs to do some basic research before they speak. That way, they don’t seem as dumb when they present their “hot takes.” In any case, the Finals will probably end tonight, man. We all need to enjoy them while they last. LC out.