Tristan Thompson Is A Jedi-Level Savage

So, when it comes to infidelity, I believe there are two kinds of people in the world: people who have cheated and straight cheaters. Now, the “people who have cheated” are folks who’ve made a terrible mistake and legitimately wish to make amends. A “straight cheater” is someone who can’t pass up an outside smash session. With that being said, Tristan Thompson may very well be the latter, son. All in all, if he really tapped Jordyn Woods, then he’s the Supreme Ruler of the Ain’t Shit Coalition, man.

Ok, for those who don’t know or don’t care, Thompson is back in the news, fam. Shit, for a dude who plays in the NBA, none of his stories are ever basketball-related, bruh. In any case, after previously being accused of cheating on Khloe Kardashian, it appears that ol’ buddy has done it again, son. However, the stakes are much higher this time, man. So, according to the rumors, Thompson allegedly put the full-court press on Woods’ ass. Now, this is notable because Woods is (was?) Kylie Jenner’s best friend. Essentially, Thompson might’ve smashed the ultimate homie, folks. Needless to say, this ain’t a good look for him, brethren.

Now, I’m not going to sit here and pretend like I have all of the details, son. I mean, I wasn’t about to do a ton of research on this subject, man. All I know is, if a guy is trying to work his way out of the doghouse, banging his lady’s sister’s homegirl is not the wave, fam. For God’s sake, just admire her ass is silence, bruh! Hell, if he was a real goon, he could’ve hit Khloe with the following Kanye West lyrics: “I mean you, her and me, maybe, baby, baby, you know I was just kidding, unless you gon’ do it.” Like, the three-three could’ve worked, people!

In the end, who knows, son? Ultimately, all of this could just be publicity for Keeping Up with the Kardashians. By and by, I wouldn’t put any of the tomfoolery past them, man. At the end of the day, Thompson should’ve just kept it tight, fam. Then again, looking at Woods, I can see why he did it, bruh. Side note, don’t tell my wife that I said that, brethren. Thanks! LC out.

Travis Scott Needs To Give Christian Adam These Hands

So, let me just skip the formalities, son. I mean, if anyone is even remotely familiar with Travis Scott or Kylie Jenner, they’d be aware of the “cheating scandal,” man. Now, I put “cheating scandal” in quotations because the infidelity never occurred, fam. As a matter of fact, the picture floating around that allegedly showed Scott with another woman was all a ruse, bruh. In actuality, a dude named Christian Adam, also known as ChristianAdamG, pretended to be Scott as part of a “social experiment.” All I know is, if I were Scott, I’d have to lay holy hands on Adam, folks.

Ok, before I continue, let me try to explain what Adam’s intentions were. Now, according to him, he wanted to show everyone how gullible the internet is. Anyway, to prove his point, he colored his braids to match Scott’s, got up on a balcony with some thick chick and let social media do the rest. Next, TMZ took the picture and ran with it. From there, I started seeing everybody repost the pic and comment about how Scott was wilin’ in these streets. Hell, even I saw the photo and was like “welp, they caught my guy slipping, son.” So, all in all, Adam’s experiment worked, man. Frankly, he successfully proved that the internet will run with anything without fact-checking, fam.

Moving on, as a dude with a wife and kids, I would be LIVID if I were Scott, bruh. Look, I know he and Jenner are showing a united front, but I guarantee he had to answer some questions at home, son. The way I see it, if another person fraudulently causes turmoil in my household, that person needs to be put in a rear-naked choke. Like, don’t conduct no experiments at my expense, man. Real talk, women almost NEVER believe the “it wasn’t me” excuse, fam. Listen, it ain’t work for Shaggy and it damn sure wouldn’t work for Scott. Keeping it a buck, this situation is one of the rare times when “this isn’t what it looks like” is actually applicable, brethren.

In the end, bravo, Adam. Ultimately, he got his point across, son. By and by, the internet is definitely as stupid as he thought it was. At the end of the day, he better be careful, man. On the real, he shouldn’t be surprised if he starts to see random fists thrown in his direction, fam. All I can say is, that’s the risk he took by messing with another man’s family. That is all. LC out.

What The F*ck, Cardi B & Nicki Minaj?!

So, I won’t lie, son. On the real, both Cardi B AND Nicki Minaj need to be called out for unnecessary fuckery. At this point, what are they even beefing about, man? I mean, is it about who’s more successful? Is it about who raps better? Is it about who looks better? Well, let me tell them both something: NOBODY FUCKING CARES, FAM! Damn, both of these women are living their best lives but can’t seem to leave the dumb shit alone. All in all, New York Fashion Week is not the fucking time to throw hands, bruh!

Ok, to be clear, there are 80 million stories about why Cardi confronted Nicki at a Harper’s Bazaar party. According to Cardi, Nicki said something negative about Kulture, her daughter with Offset, and she wanted to lay hands on Nicki. Now, Nicki denies this but it seems as if she did like a tweet that said something disparaging about Kulture. In addition, Nicki previously dragged Stormi, daughter of Travis Scott and Kylie Jenner, into an argument about album sales. So, Nicki isn’t the most reliable source here, son.

In any case, Cardi thought it was a brilliant idea to confront Nicki at this NYFW party. Look, I have kids, so I understand wanting to molly-whop someone who slighted them. However, not at a fucking formal event, man! For God‘s sake, Cardi was wearing a damn Dolce & Gabbana dress! Let’s just say that ain’t the most functional outfit to scrap in, fam. On the real, both of these women are fucking wrong, bruh. Nicki is wrong for liking some bullshit on Twitter and Cardi is wrong for pressing the issue at this public event. Listen, these are grown fucking women, folks. They need to start acting like it.

In the end, I’m sick of hearing about this beef, son. Real talk, nothing positive has come out of this, man. Ultimately, Nicki looks like a bitter chick who’s mad that she finally has some commercial competition and Cardi looks like an uncontrollable wildcard who may block her blessings. At the end of the day, both women are too successful for this stupid shit, fam. By and by, they need to knock it the fuck off, bruh. Everybody loses here. That is all. LC out.

What’s Wrong With Nicki Minaj?

So, let me keep it a buck, son. Originally, I had no interest in speaking about any of Nicki Minaj‘s shenanigans. Frankly, I don’t care about her issues with DJ Self, Dream Doll, Mariah Lynn or Jessica Dime. I don’t care about her petty feud with Cardi B or her longstanding beef with Safaree. On the real, I’ve always believed that Minaj is way too successful to do half of the petty shit she does. However, her rant about “beating” Travis Scott in album sales is purely nonsensical, man. All in all, what type of shit is she on, fam?

Ok, for those who missed it, Minaj went deep into her “Twitter fingers” bag (word to Meek Mill). Now, her latest round of tomfoolery came as a result of her recent album sales. So, as some of us may know, Minaj dropped her Queen album last week. Anyway, the Billboard 200 numbers just came out and, needless to say, Ms. Minaj is not thrilled, bruh. Based on the calculations, her new album debuted at number-two, behind Scott’s ASTROWORLD.

Now, for most logical people, that would be the end of the story. But, nah, not for Minaj, son. Shit, instead of just celebrating a successful album, she took to Twitter to air her “grievances.” First, she criticized Scott for using tour bundles to boost his sales. Apparently, he’s including his album in the merchandise he’s selling. Side note, this ain’t even new, man. I mean, Prince, the Gawd himself, did the same thing with his Musicology album. Anyway, Minaj also poked at Scott for using Kylie Jenner and Stormi Webster to increase his hype. Hell, I guess it’s Scott’s fault that he procreated with a Jenner.

Look, this has to be a first, fam. Listen, I’ve never seen an artist explain why they have a number-two album. For God‘s sake, who the fuck cares, bruh? Like, why can’t Minaj just be happy? The last time I checked, Scott was minding his merry business, son. Real talk, I don’t see why Minaj felt it was necessary to diminish his accomplishments in order to lift herself up. Honestly, that’s counter to the “empowerment” she’s always preaching about. True empowerment isn’t built on the back of anyone else. Period.

In the end, Nicki Minaj’s constant need for validation is wack, man. Ultimately, someone at her level shouldn’t always have to prove themselves. By and by, her success should be enough for her. However, she always ends up trying to tell us that she’s great. All I can say is, it’s fucking unnecessary, fam. At the end of the day, Minaj needs to just take her numbers and go, bruh. That is all. LC out.

What Does ‘Self-Made’ Mean?

So, contrary to what some people may think, I’m not about to hate on Kylie Jenner. On the real, I’m not even going to go in depth about how her appropriation of full lips is problematic as fuck. Instead, I want to talk about the idea of her being self-made. Look, I can’t front on anyone who’s on pace to be a billionaire, son. But, if Forbes or anyone else actually thinks she’s self-made, then they’re out of their cotdamn minds, man!

Listen, according to the dictionary, the word “self-made” means “having become successful or rich by one’s own efforts.” Shit, on NO planet does Jenner fit this criteria, fam. Shit, if we’re keeping score, her father is Caitlyn Jenner, her mother is Kris Jenner and her half-sister is Kim Kardashian. Furthermore, she’s been on a reality show since she was a child and she’s been rich her entire life. Frankly, she’s always had the access and the celebrity to be successful in life. Now, that doesn’t mean that she doesn’t have to work hard. But, if folks don’t believe that she has a MASSIVE leg up, then they’re fucking crazy, bruh!

Keeping it a buck, I really don’t think that wealthy people fully understand the benefits of being wealthy. Like, I remember when Donald Trump tried to downplay his father’s assistance by saying he got a “very, very small loan” from Fred Trump for a million dollars. Son, I don’t know ANYONE right now who could just give me a milly. Real talk, that’s not the way the vast majority of this country lives, man. So, the idea that any of these people are self-made is preposterous, fam. Now, as I stated before, that doesn’t mean that rich people don’t have to work to prosper. However, they’re already A LOT further in the race than the rest of us, bruh. It just is what it is.

In the end, congrats to Kylie, son. Ultimately, I’m not here to shit on anybody’s accomplishments, man. By and by, I just want to put this entire narrative into perspective, fam. At the end of the day, the Jenner’s did what any family is supposed to do: create opportunities for the next generation. In that regard, Kris and Caitlyn succeeded, bruh. All in all, I’ll let them cook for today, folks. Hell, I’ll probably go back to shitting on them tomorrow. That is all. LC out.