Robert Mueller Is Putting Cases On All You B*tches!

Disclaimer: Everyone should read the title in Denzel Washington’s voice from Training Day. That is all.

So, shit just got real, huh? After all of the talk about Robert Mueller’s investigation, heads are starting to roll, son. With that being said, I’d be remiss if I didn’t get these jokes off about all of the fuckity-fuck shit going on in Donald Trump’s inner circle. In any case, let’s take a deep dive into all of the shit that Paul Manafort, Rick Gates and George Papadopoulos have gotten themselves into, man.

Ok, for those living under a rock, the shitshow began on Friday, fam. As the week came to a close, word got out that a sealed indictment was underway. From that standpoint, it was highly likely that someone was going to get arrested, bruh. Now, in light of that information, I assumed that Manafort was going to be the first to go down. Shit, after the FBI raised his crib back in August, it was only a matter of time before he was in a world of hurt, folks. Moving on, I was proven right when Monday came around. However; I would’ve never guessed the type of dirt that they have on him, people.

Basically, Trump’s former campaign chairman is a scammer, son. Since around 2005, he’s been laundering millions of dollars through overseas shell companies. Both him and his adviser, Rick Gates, have been living their best Joanne The Scammer life for well over a decade. As it stands, their fraud was still going on even after Manafort came aboard Trump’s team. Anyway, both men have been officially charged and are currently out of bail. In addition, both have pleaded not guilty to the accusations.

Now, the wildest part is, this isn’t even the wildest part of the story, son. Frankly, George Papadopoulos is the bigger news, man. Look, although Manafort and Gates have been involved in massive amounts of fuckery, the White House can still maintain plausible deniability. However; Papadopoulos’ tale is where shit gets interesting, fam. To begin, he’s already pled guilty to lying to federal agents. So, what did he lie about exactly? Russia, bruh. Russia.

As we now know, Papadopoulos, Trump’s former foreign policy adviser, was actively working with Kremlin-connected clowncakes to get dirt on Hillary Clinton. To make matters worse, in his own correspondence, he stated that he wanted someone low-level to meet with them in order to keep the heat away from Trump. Son, that has conspiracy written all over it! Real talk, the situation is so bad for Papadopoulos that he didn’t even try to fight the charges, man. The way I see it, I wouldn’t be surprised if he started rolling on everyone, fam. Shit, let the snitching begin!

In the end, all I can do is laugh at this, bruh. On the real, I doubt we’ve seen the last of the indictments, folks. Hell, I know Michael Flynn is somewhere sweating right now, son. Ultimately, a bunch of corrupt people were/are on Trump’s squad, man. Am I supposed to believe that he’s innocent of ALL of the fuckery? Give me a break, fam. I ain’t that dumb. LC out.

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Sh*t Just Got Real In Syria!

So, I won’t lie, son. I have very conflicted emotions about last night’s Tomahawk missile attack on Syria. Now, on one hand, Bashar al-Assad needs to get the fuck outta Dodge. He’s been terrorizing his own people for far too long and it’s created a refugee crisis in both Europe and America. In addition, this same refugee crisis has had a profound impact on both our presidential election and Brexit. On the other hand, Donald Trump and his administration have been completely hypocritical in how they’ve handled this situation. With that being said, by attacking Syria, Trump has shown that he cares more about the gesture than the actual people.

Now, to be clear, I’m probably going to be reiterating a lot of shit I said in yesterday’s post. Look, I find it preposterous that Trump can block Syrian refugees in two different travel bans, warn Barack Obama against attacking Syria and then turn around and call for action. All I want to know is, where was all of this vitriol when Assad was killing his people before?

On the real, where was all of this fire when a little boy lost his entire family in Aleppo? Why did it take a chemical attack for our government to take these people’s pain seriously? Look, I’m sorry, man, but I’m not rolling with the idea that this administration suddenly gives a fuck. In the span of one week, Rex Tillerson went from saying that Assad would most likely stay in power to claiming that a coalition is now in place to remove him. Wow, the flip flop is fucking crazy, son.

Moving on, now that we’ve taken this action, how will Russia proceed? Listen, I haven’t forgotten about the congressional investigation, but this type of military strike could garner a response. Hell, Vladimir Putin has already condemned the move and the Kremlin proclaimed that the risk of collision between the two nations has “significantly increased.” Man, what the fuck does that mean? Are we really about to get into some shit with Russia too? Bruh, this could be the making of some real World War III shit. Are we really ready to go down this path? Shit, everybody seems to have nukes now, man. Ultimately, this entire situation could be catastrophic, son.

In the end, I don’t know what to make of all of this, fam. Assad needs to be removed, but the next step is so unknown. All in all, everyone needs to brace themselves. Some wild shit may be on the horizon, son. LC out.

C-SPAN: Broadcasting Live From Russia

Bruh, honestly, we, the American people, must be living in the Twilight Zone. Day after day, new situations arise that make me question my sanity, man. Look, all I really want to know is, why is Russia in all of our shit, son? It’s bad enough they purposely hacked us to influence our presidential election, but now they’re fucking with our television networks? Why is Russia becoming so emboldened with the fuck shit and why is America doing nothing about it? On the real, we need to put these clowns back in their place before we find the KGB ordering breakfast at Starbucks.

Now, for those who are unaware, last night, during an online feed of the House of Representatives on C-SPAN, the programming was interrupted by the Kremlin-backed RT channel. Keep in mind, this channel is one of the entities suspected of working with WikiLeaks to disseminate hacked information. Even though C-SPAN stated they’re still investigating the issue, they were quick to say “we don’t believe that we were hacked.” Well, if they’re still trying to find the root cause of the interruption, how do they know whether or not they were hacked? Why are folks always so quick to dismiss Russian meddling? Honestly, I’m beginning to think people want Russian influence on our government. That’s the only reason I can think of as to why certain people just continually shrug these actions off.

In my eyes, if this isn’t Russian hacking, then it’s a HELL of a coincidence, son. After all of the nonsense they pulled during our election, I’m extremely doubtful this is just some random occurrence. With all of the intelligence reports circulating around about Russian tomfoolery, do people really expect me to believe they just happened to broadcast over a faction of our Congress? Man, get the flying fuckity-hot-fuck outta here, son! Anyone who believes that is dumber than Forrest Gump trying to ride a hoverboard.

In the end, my head hurts, man. America is becoming a clown show and all of these countries see it. That’s exactly why Russia feels like they can do whatever they want. We’re about to have an administration that’s too stupid to see they’re getting played. At this rate, my wife may just convince me to go back to the Caribbean after all. LC out.