The Los Angeles Lakers Are A Sh*tshow

Look, before I even begin, let me acknowledge the fact that I’m a New York Knicks fan. This means that I am accustomed to a team being a dumpster fire. With that being said, the Los Angeles Lakers are in a world of shit right now, son. I mean, missing the playoffs was bad enough, man. However, after Magic Johnson’s sudden departure, it’s safe to say that one of the NBA’s most storied franchises is lost as fuck, fam.

Ok, for those who missed it, Johnson stepped down as the President of Basketball Operations for the Lakers. Now, this is notable for a bunch of reasons, but the manner in which he did it was wild, bruh. So, not only did Johnson leave his post, but he did it in front of the media, didn’t tell Jeanie Buss, the team’s owner, and didn’t wait until the end of the season. Furthermore, he did it with a whole bunch of tears in his eyes. Frankly, I watched this whole episode like “what the fuck is happening, son?”

Now, I already see a lot of people blaming LeBron James for this change (i.e. Michael Rapaport). All I can say is, that’s pure nonsense, man. Ok, yes, the team did miss the playoffs. But, they’ve missed the playoffs for the last six years, on top of the fact that James, Lonzo Ball and Brandon Ingram had a ton of injuries. So, I’m not ready to hang this on James’ head, fam. The truth is, Johnson wasn’t very good at his job, bruh. Like, I know he’s a legend, son. However, being a legend on the court doesn’t automatically make him a legend in the boardroom.

Shit, let’s go through some of his failures, man. First, he traded D’Angelo Russell. Now, for anyone who hasn’t been paying attention, Russell has been killing it with the Brooklyn Nets, fam. On the real, he’s turning into the player that a lot of people thought he could be. All I can say is, the Lakers never gave him a chance, bruh. Second, Johnson gambled on Anthony Davis and lost. The Lakers tried to throw the kitchen sink at the New Orleans Pelicans and they didn’t budge, son. All in all, Johnson and the Lakers were stuck with egg on their face, folks. Lastly, Johnson couldn’t get Paul George. Despite the fact that it seemed like George wanted to go to L.A., the deal never went through, people. Instead, George went on to have an MVP-level season with the Oklahoma City Thunder. Basically, Johnson botched all of the team’s moves, brethren.

In the end, good luck to the Lakers, son. Wait, what am I saying, man? I’m a Knicks fan, fam. Fuck the Lakers, bruh! Ultimately, I hope everything bad in life happens to them and only them (word to Silky Johnson). By and by, I’m thoroughly enjoying the chaos, folks. In any case, I’m sure I’ll be singing a different tune when the Knicks fail to sign Kevin Durant and/or Kyrie Irving. At the end of the day, I don’t have much faith in my team either, people. That is all. LC out.

P.S. Dear Basketball Gods, can the Knicks at least sign Zion Williamson? Please? Pretty please? Thanks a lot and have a good day.

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I Am Finally Done With The New York Knicks

Good morning, everyone. My name is Lawrence Charles and I’m a lifelong New York Knicks fan. Moving on, I was there when John Starks went 2-18 from the field in Game 7 of the 1994 NBA Finals against the Houston Rockets. I was there when Patrick Ewing missed a game-tying finger roll in Game 7 of the 1995 Eastern Conference Semifinals against the Indiana Pacers. I was there when the organization traded away half of the Eastern Seaboard to sign Carmelo Anthony. However, I’ve had enough, son. *Sigh* After decades of nonstop tomfoolery, I’ve finally had enough, man.

Ok, for those who missed it, the Knicks decided to trade Kristaps Porzingis, our most promising player, to Luka Doncic’s Dallas Mavericks. Now, along with Porzingis, the team has also given away Trey Burke, Courtney Lee and Tim Hardaway Jr. All this in exchange for Wesley Matthews, Dennis Smith Jr., DeAndre Jordan and two future first-round picks. Apparently, Porzingis, who’s also coming off of injury, asked to be traded because he wasn’t down with the direction of the organization. Frankly, I don’t blame him, fam.

Listen, the Knicks have been arguably (not arguably) the worst organization in professional sports. I mean, we have a long, long, LONG history of making terrible fucking decisions, bruh. On the real, why would Porzingis trust the team’s direction, son? Seriously, when have we showcased ANY intelligence when it comes to building a competent squad? Keeping it a buck, I already know we’re going to fuck up those future first-round picks, man. Shit, we’re absolutely atrocious when it comes to selecting decent players, fam.

To make matters worse, Knicks management has almost certainly shot us in the foot for free agency, bruh. Like, why would Kevin Durant or Kyrie Irving come here if we don’t have Porzingis, son? Real talk, he was one of our biggest draws, man. Hell, he was one of the only bright spots on a team that has a SUPER checkered past, fam. All I know is, I want to break things and hit people, brethren. All jokes aside, I can’t take any more of this sustained abuse, folks.

In the end, AHHHHHHHHHHH! I just… I just can’t do this any longer, son. Ultimately, I don’t know who I’m going to root for, but it can’t be the Knicks, man. By and by, James Dolan doesn’t care about us, fam. At the end of the day, as long as people show up to Madison Square Garden, he isn’t concerned with the team’s pedigree, bruh. All I can say is, I’m finally bowing out, people. No mas. That is all. LC out.

Kobe Bryant Still Didn’t Flinch

So, let me begin this post by saying that I’m not a Kobe Bryant fan. As a lifelong supporter/victim of the New York Knicks organization, I am forbidden to praise anything that he does, son. Regardless of that fact, I still have the ability to be objective, man. With that being said, Kobe Bryant still didn’t flinch in front of Matt Barnes, fam. All I know is, these new camera angles ain’t prove shit, bruh. It is what it is and it was what it was.

Ok, for those who are unaware, it’s been a longstanding legend that Kobe didn’t flinch when Barnes pump-faked the basketball in front of his face. Originally, based on the initial camera angle, it looked like Barnes did this millimeters away from Kobe. In any case, this incident has been used by Kobe fans to assert his thuggery, son. Side note, where was all that moxie when Chris Childs hit Kobe with the two-piece/no biscuit? I thought so. Anyway, as of yesterday, a new vantage point came out that challenged our view of the situation. Apparently, Kobe wasn’t standing directly in front of Barnes. In fact, he was slightly off to Barnes’ right side.

Now, I don’t need a reason to hate on Kobe, man. But, really, fam? Really? Did this new angle actually debunk the entire story? No, bruh. No it didn’t. Look, even with Kobe off to the side, Barnes still placed the ball inches away from his face. Real talk, the move was still close enough to get a reaction out of Kobe, son. The fact of the matter is, Kobe didn’t bite, folks. He still looked at Barnes like a peon who wasn’t worthy to be rocking an NBA jersey. All in all, I still see the video the same way, brethren.

In the end, let’s find other reasons to hate on Kobe, son. Shit, let’s hate on him for his four airballs against the Utah Jazz. Let’s hate on him for snitching on Shaquille O’Neal. Hell, let’s hate on him for taking 50 shots to score 60 points in his final game. However, we can’t take this from him, man. At the end of the day, he didn’t flinch, bruh. That is all. LC out.

Tristan Thompson Is Out Here Wilin’

So, LeBron James needs to come get Tristan Thompson, son. I mean, homie is out here WILIN’, man! Like, did he not know he was 6’9″, fam? Shit, we can all see him, bruh! All I know is, Thompson seemingly has NO couth, folks. Hell, he’s out here cheating on Khloé Kardashian in the braziest ways possible, people. All in all, Thompson has two options: either stop cheating or learn to be waaaaay more incognegro about it. Side note, I’m aware of the fact that the former is the better option, brethren. I don’t need my wife plotting to murder me.

Ok, before I continue, allow me to briefly be insensitive. Now, I know that Khloé is pregnant right now. I know that this type of stress is bad for a growing baby. With that being said, I wish her and her child nothing but health. However; I don’t feel sorry for Khloé at all, son. Lest we forget, Thompson previously dated a woman named Jordan Craig. In addition, her ass was also SUPER pregnant when Thompson started bumping uglies with Khloé. So, am I supposed to sympathize with a woman who’s getting the same treatment she initially encouraged? Hell fucking nah, man! The way I see it, that’s a whole HEAP of karma for that ass, fam.

Anyway, let me get back to Thompson, bruh. All I can say is, that dude can’t even spell the word “discretion.” First, a video came out that showed him clubbing with a couple of women back in October. Now, at that time, Khloé was about three months pregnant. In any case, what was Thompson doing? Tonguing down chicks, motorboating them and letting them feel his crotch. Look, I’ve done some reckless shit in my life, but I’m not famous, son. This dumbass was doing all of this shit on camera, man! Fam, chill the fuck out! The tape is rolling!

Moving on, the Thompson Fuckery Train kept going as a new video surfaced with even more shenanigans. This time, here in New York, he was seen entering a hotel with Lani Blair, a bartender at Angel’s Strip Club. To make matters worse, she definitely had an overnight bag with her. Meaning, she was prepared to have her back blown out for an extended period of time. On the real, I feel like Thompson wanted to get caught, bruh. That’s the only way I could understand how he could be so openly careless. Keeping it a buck, I hope he’s ready for the slander he’s about to receive on Keeping Up with the Kardashians. At the end of the day, it didn’t work out so well for Lamar Odom, son.

In the end, I had a good ass time laughing at all of the tomfoolery, man. On top of that, the memes have been GOLD, fam! Ultimately, we’ll see how this story plays out, bruh. By and by, the last time he cheated like a madman, the Cleveland Cavaliers won the NBA Finals. Soooo, maybe LeBron should just let Thompson keep on cooking. Then again, what do I know, son? LC out.

The Giants Fan In Me Can’t Watch The Super Bowl

So, what’s a guy to do, son? Do I choose Satan or do I choose the Antichrist? I mean, that’s EXACTLY how I feel trying to pick between the New England Patriots and the Philadelphia Eagles. I mean, as a New York Giants fan, Super Bowl LII is the worst shit ever, man! Look, regardless of the outcome, a team I can’t stand is going to be the NFL champion. Shit, this is precisely how I felt back in 2005 when Donovan McNabb and Terrell Owens faced off against Tom Brady and Deion Branch. Either way, I’m not even sure if I can watch this shit, fam!

Listen, let’s skip the pretense, bruh. On the real, it’s simple mathematics, son. The Eagles are in the Giants’s division and the Patriots have been our Super Bowl nemesis. Look, there’s NO possible way for me to feel good about this championship game, man. As it stands, either the Eagles are going to win their first Super Bowl or Brady is going to get ring number six. Either way, the outcome is going to be the trashiest of the trash, fam. In addition, since Justin Timberlake seems to be embracing his inner MAGA, I can’t even look forward to the halftime show!

In the end, I have nothing else to give, bruh. Ultimately, I don’t give a fuck about what others may say. Yeah, I’m ABSOLUTELY salty, son! By and by, I haven’t supported the NFL all season for what they did to Colin Kaepernick and I will continue to sit on the sidelines. All I know is, I still have a trash ass Knicks team to root for and a ton of UFC fights to watch. That is all. LC out.

Don’t Ever Disrespect Eli Manning!

Man, I’m hot right now, son. Real talk, Ben McAdoo has some fucking nerve, fam! Like, how dare he treat Eli Manning like this?! How dare a second-year NFL head coach treat a New York Giants legend like this, bruh?! I mean, after everything Manning has done for this city, THIS is how the organization is going to do him in?! Keeping it a buck, NY always treats its legends poorly, man. Shit, look at what the Knicks did to Patrick Ewing. All I know is, Manning is unfairly taking the fall for the Giants’ shitty season.

Ok, let me be honest for a second, son. Yes, the Giants are fucking AWFUL this year. Look, nothing good comes out of a 2-9 record, man. Hell, we lost Odell Beckham Jr., lost a couple of close games and completely shit the bed against the Los Angeles Rams. With that being said, Manning has been stereotypically Manning all season. He’s completed 60% of his passes, has an 84 passer rating and a 2:1 touchdown-to-interception ratio. Side bar, he has fumbled the ball 8 times, though, and that’s no bueno, fam. In any case, Manning is NOT the sole reason why the Giants suck, bruh. So, why the FUCK would McAdoo bench him for Geno Smith?!

Listen, Manning gave this city TWO fucking championships, son! Shit, he’s the ONLY dude to ever beat Tom Brady, Bill Belichick and the New England Patriots in the Super Bowl, man. For that reason alone, he should at least be able to finish the damn season, fam! Now, here’s a thought, bruh: maybe the Giants suck because McAdoo sucks as a coach. Oh, has anyone ever thought of that? Look, former coach Tom Coughlin left the team and was able to help turn the Jacksonville Jaguars around. So, maybe McAdoo should look in the fucking mirror, people. All I can say is, he needs to stop taking his own ineptitude out on Manning.

In the end, fuck Ben McAdoo and the Giants coaching staff, son. Ultimately, Manning is the Gawd and deserves more respect than this. By and by, I can’t be mad at a Black dude for getting a shot at the starting job, but I wish it wasn’t at the expense of a legend, man. *Sigh* Ain’t no loyalty in sports, fam. That is all. LC out.

What Is Kyrie Irving Doing?

So, I won’t lie, son. I’m confused about all of this Kyrie Irving kerfuffle, man. Like, I truly don’t understand what this man is doing right now. I don’t get why he would want to leave LeBron James and the Cleveland Cavaliers. Frankly, it better be for personal reasons, fam. If not, this has to rank HIGH on the list of Dumbest Moves In NBA History.

Now, I won’t go into a lot of depth with this story, man. At this point, if people aren’t aware of the chaos in Cleveland right now, then they probably don’t care about basketball. With that being said, I question the motives of Kyrie’s desire to leave. From a basketball standpoint, it makes NO sense to me, fam. I mean, he’s coming off of three straight Finals appearances, where his team actually secured one title in the process. Not to mention, his last shot in Game 7 of the 2016 Finals is one for the ages. All in all, he’s an established winner on this team, son.

In any case, the rampant rumor is that he no longer wants to be in LeBron’s shadow. Apparently, he wants to run his own team and “can’t” fully flourish as a sidechick. Now, there are a few things wrong with that logic, son. First, Kyrie was The Man in Cleveland during his first three seasons in the league. Guess what? The team was fucking turrible, bruh.

Real talk, the year before LeBron came back, the Cavs only won 33 games, man. The very next year, the win total jumped to 53 and the squad went to the Finals. In addition, Kyrie’s stats weren’t drastically different from the previous season, fam. Meaning, a lot of that improvement came as a result of LeBron being on the team. Look, facts are facts, son. It just is what it is, people.

To add to that point, Kyrie is also coming off of his best year, statistically speaking. So, I’m really not understanding what he gains by leaving the organization. Listen, I highly, HIGHLY doubt he’ll get to the Finals by himself. He’ll either have to get past LeBron or the Golden State Warriors. On the real, neither of those scenarios are realistic, folks. It doesn’t matter if he plays for the New York Knicks, San Antonio Spurs, Miami Heat or Minnesota Timberwolves. He won’t sniff another Finals by abandoning ship, son.

In the end, Kyrie has to ask himself one question: does he want to win or be The Man? If he wants to win, then he needs to sit his ass down in Cleveland. If he wants to be The Man, I’m pretty sure my Knicks would gladly take him. Shit, I’d wholeheartedly root for him in that situation. However; I know it goes against common sense, man. Ultimately, all of this tomfoolery is making it easier for the Warriors to repeat, son. That is all. LC out.