Tristan Thompson Is A Jedi-Level Savage

So, when it comes to infidelity, I believe there are two kinds of people in the world: people who have cheated and straight cheaters. Now, the “people who have cheated” are folks who’ve made a terrible mistake and legitimately wish to make amends. A “straight cheater” is someone who can’t pass up an outside smash session. With that being said, Tristan Thompson may very well be the latter, son. All in all, if he really tapped Jordyn Woods, then he’s the Supreme Ruler of the Ain’t Shit Coalition, man.

Ok, for those who don’t know or don’t care, Thompson is back in the news, fam. Shit, for a dude who plays in the NBA, none of his stories are ever basketball-related, bruh. In any case, after previously being accused of cheating on Khloe Kardashian, it appears that ol’ buddy has done it again, son. However, the stakes are much higher this time, man. So, according to the rumors, Thompson allegedly put the full-court press on Woods’ ass. Now, this is notable because Woods is (was?) Kylie Jenner’s best friend. Essentially, Thompson might’ve smashed the ultimate homie, folks. Needless to say, this ain’t a good look for him, brethren.

Now, I’m not going to sit here and pretend like I have all of the details, son. I mean, I wasn’t about to do a ton of research on this subject, man. All I know is, if a guy is trying to work his way out of the doghouse, banging his lady’s sister’s homegirl is not the wave, fam. For God’s sake, just admire her ass is silence, bruh! Hell, if he was a real goon, he could’ve hit Khloe with the following Kanye West lyrics: “I mean you, her and me, maybe, baby, baby, you know I was just kidding, unless you gon’ do it.” Like, the three-three could’ve worked, people!

In the end, who knows, son? Ultimately, all of this could just be publicity for Keeping Up with the Kardashians. By and by, I wouldn’t put any of the tomfoolery past them, man. At the end of the day, Thompson should’ve just kept it tight, fam. Then again, looking at Woods, I can see why he did it, bruh. Side note, don’t tell my wife that I said that, brethren. Thanks! LC out.

Advertisements

Tristan Thompson Is Out Here Wilin’

So, LeBron James needs to come get Tristan Thompson, son. I mean, homie is out here WILIN’, man! Like, did he not know he was 6’9″, fam? Shit, we can all see him, bruh! All I know is, Thompson seemingly has NO couth, folks. Hell, he’s out here cheating on Khloé Kardashian in the braziest ways possible, people. All in all, Thompson has two options: either stop cheating or learn to be waaaaay more incognegro about it. Side note, I’m aware of the fact that the former is the better option, brethren. I don’t need my wife plotting to murder me.

Ok, before I continue, allow me to briefly be insensitive. Now, I know that Khloé is pregnant right now. I know that this type of stress is bad for a growing baby. With that being said, I wish her and her child nothing but health. However; I don’t feel sorry for Khloé at all, son. Lest we forget, Thompson previously dated a woman named Jordan Craig. In addition, her ass was also SUPER pregnant when Thompson started bumping uglies with Khloé. So, am I supposed to sympathize with a woman who’s getting the same treatment she initially encouraged? Hell fucking nah, man! The way I see it, that’s a whole HEAP of karma for that ass, fam.

Anyway, let me get back to Thompson, bruh. All I can say is, that dude can’t even spell the word “discretion.” First, a video came out that showed him clubbing with a couple of women back in October. Now, at that time, Khloé was about three months pregnant. In any case, what was Thompson doing? Tonguing down chicks, motorboating them and letting them feel his crotch. Look, I’ve done some reckless shit in my life, but I’m not famous, son. This dumbass was doing all of this shit on camera, man! Fam, chill the fuck out! The tape is rolling!

Moving on, the Thompson Fuckery Train kept going as a new video surfaced with even more shenanigans. This time, here in New York, he was seen entering a hotel with Lani Blair, a bartender at Angel’s Strip Club. To make matters worse, she definitely had an overnight bag with her. Meaning, she was prepared to have her back blown out for an extended period of time. On the real, I feel like Thompson wanted to get caught, bruh. That’s the only way I could understand how he could be so openly careless. Keeping it a buck, I hope he’s ready for the slander he’s about to receive on Keeping Up with the Kardashians. At the end of the day, it didn’t work out so well for Lamar Odom, son.

In the end, I had a good ass time laughing at all of the tomfoolery, man. On top of that, the memes have been GOLD, fam! Ultimately, we’ll see how this story plays out, bruh. By and by, the last time he cheated like a madman, the Cleveland Cavaliers won the NBA Finals. Soooo, maybe LeBron should just let Thompson keep on cooking. Then again, what do I know, son? LC out.