What The F*ck, Boogie Cousins?!

Man, what the fuck is going on out here, son? Like, is competition an antiquated concept? I mean, what’s the point of watching the NBA if EVERY superstar just decides to play together? All I know is, free agency has officially jumped the shark, fam. Keeping it a buck, DeMarcus Cousins signing with the Golden State Warriors is one of the most ridiculous deals I’ve ever seen, bruh. All in all, I may need to bow out of watching league games, folks.

Ok, for those who missed it, Cousins just one-upped LeBron James in the “How To Break Social Media” game. Apparently, after not receiving any offers from other teams, because of his fucked up Achilles, Cousins decided to call the Warriors. From there, the two sides worked out a one-year deal that would bring Cousins to The Bay for $5.3 million. So, if we’re keeping count, the Warriors now have FIVE players who have been selected to an All-NBA Team. Shit, at this point, should these other teams even show up to play next season?

Look, here’s my issue with all of this, son. On the real, it seems as if players no longer want to compete against each other. Ok, Cousins did nothing wrong, according to the rules, but shit, what happened to rivalries? What happened to players going at one another, man? Hell, everyone just wants to stack the deck now and gang up on undermanned teams. Honestly, all of this shit is corny, fam. All I can say is, Cousins went from wanting to beat the shit out of Kevin Durant to joining his team. *Sigh* It’s fucking ridiculous, bruh!

Keeping it a buck, I blame LeBron and the Boston Celtics for all of this new age fuckery, son. Listen, this era began when Paul Pierce, Kevin Garnett and Ray Allen teamed up. Now, as the story goes, that Celtics team gave James headaches, which caused him to join the Miami Heat with Dwyane Wade and Chris Bosh. From there, the floodgates were opened, man. Years later, Durant joins the Warriors and now this Boogie shit. Frankly, these free agency deals are nothing more than the culmination of an issue that’s been brewing for almost a decade, fam.

In the end, fuuuuuuuuuck, bruh! *Sigh* How can I even watch basketball next season, son? Ultimately, we KNOW how it’s all going to end, man. By and by, the Warriors were going to win another title without Cousins. So, it’s a foregone conclusion that they’re going to three-peat, fam. At the end of the day, let me get a contract too, Warriors. Look, the cartilage in my right knee is trash, but my jumper is still pure, folks. That is all. LC out.

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LBJ To Miami vs. KD To Golden State

So, I guess I’m about to jump into this debate, huh? I mean, ever since Kevin Durant joined the Golden State Warriors, people have compared his decision to LeBron James going to the Miami Heat. Look, enough is enough, man. Now, on face value, their respective decisions may seem “similar,” but in reality, they’re drastically different. With that being said, it’s time for me to dispel this myth, fam.

First, let’s start with LeBron. The year before he joined the Heat, his Cleveland Cavaliers team had a 61-21 record. They were the top team in the Eastern Conference and we all thought they going to meet Kobe Bryant and the Los Angeles Lakers in the NBA Finals. However; LeBron and company ran into the Boston Celtics in the Semifinals. Needless to say, Paul Pierce, Ray Allen and Kevin Garnett gave them that work, fam. By and by, the Cavs fell in six games.

On the flip side, the Heat had a 47-35 record that same season. They were third in their division and fifth in the East. Also, when they got to the playoffs, they lost to the Celtics in the first round and in five games. So, when LeBron switched teams, he wasn’t joining some powerhouse, son. On the real, they only became a juggernaut after he got there, man.

Now, let’s talk about Durant. The year before he joined the Warriors, his team had a 55-27 record. They were first in their division and third in the Western Conference. Now, here’s where they story gets stupid, fam. His team had a 3-1 lead over the Warriors in the Conference Finals, but then KD CHOKED! Shit, people love to blame Russell Westbrook for everything, but these same people ignore the fact that KD went 10-31 from the field in a Game 6. Keep in mind, the game was in Oklahoma City and it would’ve ended the series. So, if KD didn’t fall flat on his face, then he might’ve won a ring with the Thunder.

Once again, on the flip side, the Warriors had a 73-9 record that same season. Now, for anyone counting, that’s the best regular season record in NBA history. Honestly, they only went after KD because they choked against the Cavs in the Finals and gave up their own 3-1 lead. So, two factions of chokers decided to band together to ensure they don’t fail again.

Ok, now that I’ve laid out all of the information, let me sum this up for everyone. LeBron went to a weaker team and helped to turn them into a champion. Durant went to a championship caliber team, a squad he personally lost to, in hopes of getting that elusive ring. Keeping it a buck, I really don’t see how people compare these two moves. They don’t resemble each other at all, son. By and by, KD took the easiest way out. It just is what it is, fam.

In the end, I’m tired of defending LeBron, son. Listen, I’m not even a Cavs fan, bruh! Ultimately, I’m sick of people making assertions without any type of discernible context. All in all, everyone needs to do some basic research before they speak. That way, they don’t seem as dumb when they present their “hot takes.” In any case, the Finals will probably end tonight, man. We all need to enjoy them while they last. LC out.