A ‘Not Really A Review’ Review Of The Weeknd’s ‘Starboy’

So, in my eyes, this post is not really a review of The Weeknd‘s new Starboy album. Instead, I simply just want to talk about some of my favorite songs, son. It’s really that simple, man. Now, I’m not a complete Stan for every song on this album, but shiiiiit, there are some JAMS on here, bro! With that being said, let’s go through some of them.

First, I want to break these songs into tiers. For me, there are three tiers: “Fucking Unimpeachable,” “I Rock With These” and “Meh.” I’m only going to talk about the first two tiers, though. There’s really no sense in talking about the songs I’m kind of indifferent about. So, let’s start with “Fucking Unimpeachable,” son. In my eyes, and ears, there are four songs in that tier: “Starboy,” “Party Monster,” “Six Feet Under” and “Die for You.” Add up the Daft Punk 808‘s on “Starboy,” the EVERYTHING on “Party Monster,” the Future harmonies on “Six Feet Under” and the chorus on “Die for You” and we get fucking perfection, man. Literal perfection, bro.

Now, the songs in my “I Rock With These” tier are “Rockin'”, no pun intended, “Sidewalks” and “A Lonely Night.” To me, it’s no coincidence that superproducer Max Martin is responsible for two of these records. Side note, I want everyone to go and Google his name before continuing this post. I mean, that dude has produced damn near EVERY hit song since the late 1990‘s. This includes The Weeknd’s own number-one hit, “Can’t Feel My Face.” The wildest part is, I’m not even slightly exaggerating about this. He’s owned the Billboard Hot 100 for the last twenty years, man. In any case, add up the synth arpeggio/chorus on “Rockin'”, the guitars on “Sidewalks” and the hook on “A Lonely Night” and that satisfies my jam criteria, son.

In the end, that’s just how I feel, man. I fucks with this album, bro. Now, is it like his previous albums? Not really, but who really cares, though? He couldn’t be the dark room and cocaine cowboy forever, son. Let that man cook with his Pop stardom. Good day.

A Message To Rappers With ‘Lil’ In Their Names

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Look, no matter how objective I am in this post, I know some people out there will call me a hater. Sadly, that’s how shit works in our current world. Any time someone has an opinion about something, they’re automatically labeled a hater. With that being said, fuck all of that because I have something to get off of my chest. So, I’m dedicating this post to some of these new rapper with “Lil” in their names.

Now, while I’ve already mentioned this on my blog before, I’ll freely admit I’m a 30-year-old Black dude. Actually, I’m lying, son. I just had a birthday a couple of week ago, so I’m 31 now. In any case, I still consume Rap music at a furious pace. Judging from my socially conscious and political material, it would be safe to assume I’m a big fan of artists like Kendrick Lamar and J. Cole. However; I’d be remiss if I didn’t speak about the virtues of Rae Sremmurd‘s sermons and also mention the fact I’m the treasurer of the FutureHive. I say all of that to say I have no beef with the current state of music. Well, I have SOME beef, but we can speak about that another time. In actuality, the main problem I have with some of these younger dudes is their plain lack of respect for the artists and producers who came before them. If anyone let them tell it, they’d probably insinuate that they’ve reached stardom completely independent of their predecessors.

To keep it all of the way trill, in this particular post, I’m specifically speaking about Lil Uzi Vert and Lil Yachty. While I’d never tell their fans to dismiss their music, I have a major gripe with the way they’ve responded to their musical elders. First, let me start with Lil Uzi. In an interview with Ebro In The Morning on Hot 97, my mind was blown when I saw Vert’s reaction to Ebro asking him to rhyme over a DJ Premier beat. Ok, I get it, this instrumental probably came out when he was a baby, but the look of disdain and confusion on his face was thoroughly baffling to me. Architects like Preemo were vital to the growth of Rap music, not only musically but also business wise. There was a time when ALL of the biggest rappers HAD to have a Premier beat in order for their album to be official. It’s perfectly ok for the sonic quality of an art form to evolve, but how dare this kid judge a legend of Preemo’s caliber! Ultimately, Uzi WISHES his legacy will last as long as his. Someone tell that dude to holla back in five years and see if he’s even still popping. By then, he’ll probably already be the “old shit” he’s looking down on now.

Next, let’s talk about Lil Yachty. In an interview with Real 92.3, Yachty went on a tangent about the irrelevance of having a “cold 16” and telling “old people” to get over the fact the music has changed. He went even further to let us know that no one was doing “spin moves on cardboard” anymore and he could make a hot song just saying “yah.” Ok, now, where do I start? First, this dude essentially said a rapper doesn’t actually need to be good at rapping anymore. Then, he randomly criticized breakdancing. Shit, that’s already two of the four original elements of Hip Hop, man! I’m surprised he didn’t turn around and tell his DJ he wasn’t shit.

Look, like I said regarding Uzi, there’s nothing wrong with progression. The issue here is these younger dudes literally have no respect for anyone who paved the way for them. Do they think they invented 808‘s or getting turnt? Hell, Juicy J had me wanting to fight people in the club since the ’90s, son. Show some fucking reverence for the people who laid the foundation. Because news flash to these newer artists: there’s literally NOTHING happening out here that doesn’t have an origin in something that preceded it.

In the end, I’ll keep playing my Trap music at ignorant levels in the car. Well, not Uzi or Yachty because I truthfully thought their music sucked even before they made their dumbass comments. Tell them to come talk to me when they’ve had a career even remotely as long as the artists they’re dissing. Good day.