I’m Convinced That Kawhi Leonard Isn’t A Person Person

Look, I’m going to keep this post short today, son. Frankly, I’m just here to laugh at Kawhi Leonard‘s laugh, man. I mean, a number of us have long speculated about Leonard’s personality, fam. Namely, because the guy doesn’t say shit, bruh! With all of that being said, his NBA Media Day press conference was fucking hilarious, folks! On God, I’m thoroughly convinced that Leonard is not a real human being, brethren. All I know is, that dude is either an alien or a functioning demonstration of artificial intelligence.

Ok, before I continue, I want everyone to watch this Instagram clip, son. Listen, never in the history of ever have I heard a “person” laugh like that, man. On the real, that awkward chuckle is so funny that I’m dying as I write this, fam. Like, there’s so much to take from that entire clip, bruh. First, no “fun guy” has ever described himself as a fun guy. Shit, I can’t imagine going to any social functions with a dude who’s face barely moves, folks. Hell, to that end, watch this YouTube video from his time with the San Antonio Spurs. For God’s sake, the man laughed and his face didn’t budge an inch, people! I swear, he’s a fucking robot!

In the end, I’m just here for the jokes, son. Look, whether he means to be or not, Kawhi Leonard is a hilarious fucking dude, man. Ultimately, his personality is either going to be endearing or a nightmare for the Toronto Raptors. Either way, I’m here for the shenanigans, fam. That is all. LC out.

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Kawhi Leonard Got Deported

So, it finally happened, huh? Kawhi Leonard finally got his wish to be done with the San Antonio Spurs. After all of last season’s tomfoolery, he’s now free of the clutches of Gregg Popovich and company. Now, in a year’s time, we’ll see if Leonard sticks with the Toronto Raptors. All I know is, DeMar DeRozan got royally fucked by a team he was loyal to.

Ok, for those who missed it, the Spurs traded Leonard and Danny Green to the Raptors for DeRozan, Jakob Poeltl and a protected first-round pick. Now, it’s no secret that Leonard wanted out of San Antonio. Hell, he already made it abundantly clear that he wasn’t going to cooperate with the Spurs. I mean, he stopped returning phone calls, he dodged meetings AND he failed to show up to any playoff games. On the real, what else could he have possibly done, son? Anybody could see that he was ducking any and everything, man.

Keeping it a buck, I feel like Leonard has acted like a bitch this entire process, fam. Look, wanting to leave is one thing, but by all accounts, he was wildly unprofessional, bruh. Since when is it cool to not report for work AND not keep in contact with management? Real talk, if any regular person tried that, we’d be on that unemployment line fast and in a hurry, son. Listen, we’re all adults here, man. If Leonard was really that unhappy with the organization, then be a grownup and tell them, brethren. Shit, he really had EVERYONE guessing what was going on in his head.

To make matters worse, there were all of these rumors that he only wanted to go to the Los Angeles Lakers. Then, after LeBron James joined the team, reports came out that he didn’t want to be “second fiddle” to James. Man, can this dude knock it the fuck off, son? So, he doesn’t want to play for the Spurs, he doesn’t want to play for the Raptors AND he doesn’t want to play with LeBron? Well, what the fuck does this dude want, fam? All I can say is, as talented as Leonard is, I don’t think he’s good enough for all of the bullshit around him, bruh.

In the end, shout-out to DeRozan, son. Ultimately, it’s a damn shame that he got caught up in Leonard’s nonsense, man. By and by, I hope he’s able to do some damage with LaMarcus Aldridge next season. In addition, I hope the Raptors are ready for the fuckery of Leonard. At the end of the day, he could easily dip after next season and Toronto could end up with nothing. Furthermore, we’ve already seen that Leonard will sit out a season, fam. Look, they better hope that giving up DeRozan, a lifelong Raptor, was worth it, bruh. That is all. LC out.

Don’t Tell Me You’re A Lakers Fan Now

So, he really did it, huh? LeBron James really signed with the Los Angeles Lakers, huh? Shit, after all of the theories and all of the speculation, he really moved to the Western Conference, huh? All in all, my least favorite part of being a basketball aficionado is about to go into overdrive, son: dealing with bandwagon fans. All I know is, I don’t want to hear ANY of these new motherfuckers try to convince me that they’re Lakers fans now, man.

Look, I may be wrong, but I feel like James is responsible for this new era of fandom. Like, instead of being fans of teams, people have become fans of players. Because of this, whatever team their favorite player is on, that’s the team these people root for. Hell, in James’s case, I’ve watched folks be Cleveland Cavaliers fans, then Miami Heat fans and back to Cavs fans. Real talk, they don’t know ANYTHING about these teams other than the fact that James was on them. In any case, despite the reality that it’ll irritate the SHIT out of me, I’m already preparing myself for these brand new Lakers “fans.”

In the end, the next NBA season is about to be WILD, fam! Ultimately, it looks like I’ll finally get my wish of seeing new teams in the Finals, bruh. All I can say is, James’s run of consecutive Finals appearances is over, son. I mean, there’s NO WAY he’s getting past the Golden State Warriors, man. Seriously, he has NO chance in the 9 Circles of Hell, fam.

As of right now, I’m picking Kevin Durant, Steph Curry and the Warriors to face Kyrie Irving and the Boston Celtics in the Finals. By and by, we’ll see how this Lakers experiment will work for James. The way I see it, he’s waiting for Kawhi Leonard to join him next year. For now, he’ll just have to put up with the shenanigans of Lonzo Ball and Kyle Kuzma. That is all. LC out.

The Worst NBA Playoffs Ever

So, to begin, this post isn’t an indictment on the Golden State Warriors or the Cleveland Cavaliers. Well, not entirely, son. In actuality, today’s sermon is an indictment on the rest of the NBA. I mean, c’mon son! Where was the competition this year, man?! Look, let’s be real for a second, fam. Did anyone really believe that the Finals would feature two different teams? Yeah, I didn’t think so, bruh. All I know is, the remaining NBA teams need to start pulling their collective weight. Otherwise, there isn’t any need to have seasons anymore.

Now, let’s review this year’s playoffs, man. The Dubs and the Cavs entered the Finals with a combined 24-1 record. Like, that’s just stupid, son. Realistically, there weren’t any teams that could stand up to these dudes in either conference. The Washington Wizards can talk all of the shit they want, but they couldn’t get pass the Boston Celtics, bruh. Also, speaking of the Celtics, they literally had one fluke win against the Cavs. Other than that, the entire series was complete and utter domination.

Moving on, I originally heard all of these theories about how the Toronto Raptors would give the Cavs static. Man, those fools couldn’t even rattle off a competent game, fam. On the flip side, the Houston Rockets were supposed to be able to challenge the Dubs. Well, James Harden looked like a scrub for most of that series. In addition, even if Kawhi Leonard never got injured, I’d bet money that the San Antonio Spurs couldn’t win more than two games against the Warriors. Ultimately, outside of some devastating injury or an ill-advised trade, the Cavs and the Dubs will probably keep facing each other in the Finals. All I know is, it’s a fucking buzz kill, bruh.

Keeping it a buck, I was a baby in the 1980‘s, so I can’t talk about the matchup between the Larry Bird-led Celtics and the Magic Johnson-led Los Angeles Lakers. So, maybe this is how people felt during that era too. In any case, I was of age during the Michael Jordan era. Now, even though MJ won all of those titles, at least the games were competitive, man. Look, there was absolutely NO competition in this year’s playoffs, son. The outcome was essentially a foregone conclusion. By and by, the NBA needs to improve in order to keep my attention, fam.

In the end, I just want to see good basketball, bruh. That’s it. All jokes aside, only Warriors or Cavs “fans” could have possibly enjoyed this postseason. Side note, I put “fans” in quotations because NONE of these new clowns are really fans. Listen, don’t talk to me about the Dubs if Run TMC doesn’t ring a bell. Don’t talk to me about the Cavs if Mo Williams doesn’t conjure up memories of mediocrity. Anyway, now is the time for teams to “tool up,” word to Marlo Stanfield. On the real, the game can’t survive in its current form, man. I was fucking bored this season, son. *Sigh* LC out.