No More Chances For Jon Jones

So, let me keep it a buck, son. Honestly, I don’t know enough about this situation to make a judgement, man. I mean, Jon Jones could be up to his usual shenanigans or he might be innocent. Frankly, I don’t know, fam. All I can say is, if Jones is guilty of the latest charge against him, then that better be it, bruh. Like, how many chances can one man get, folks? Seriously, if he committed this offense, Jones needs to finally be shunned, brethren.

Ok, for those who missed it, Jones might be in trouble again, son. Now, apparently, Jones was in some New Mexico strip club back in April. Anyway, a waitress alleged that he pulled her down to his lap, kissed her neck, put her in a chokehold and lifted her off of the ground. From there, she stated that he continued to inappropriately touch her until he decided to leave the club. Moving on, I have no insight into whether this incident actually happened. All I know is, this dude just can’t seem to stay out of shit, man.

Now, let’s be real, fam. Shit, Jones has a loooooong history of doing the wrong thing, bruh. Outside of the numerous failed PED tests and hitting a pregnant woman with his car, Jones also has a documented past with illegal narcotics, son. The point is, a story like this isn’t that far-fetched, man. The truth is, that’s the fucking problem, folks. Frankly, Jones has done so much fuckity-fuck shit, that a situation like this is believable, people. The way I see it, if this woman’s story has merit, then the UFC and the MMA community needs to finally wash their hands of this dude.

In the end, there are certain facts in life, son: water is wet, the sky is blue, Jon Jones is the G.O.A.T. and he stays in some bullshit. Ultimately, I hope this story isn’t true, man, and not because of the fact that I was a fan of this guy. By and by, women don’t deserve to be violated, fam. At the end of the day, Jones needs to stay clear of any place or situation that could get him in trouble, bruh. Hell, hasn’t he done enough tomfoolery already, brethren? That is all. LC out.

Advertisements

Thanks For Wasting Our Time, Brock Lesnar

So, I won’t lie, son. I’m happy that Brock Lesnar is retiring from MMA. Frankly, no real fan wanted to watch him fight Daniel Cormier, man. On the real, the fact that this fight was ever a possibility is a fucking joke, fam. I mean, he’s only had two fights in the last eight years and he popped for PEDs in 2016. All in all, the sport won’t miss him, bruh.

Ok, for those who missed it, the proposed match between Lesnar and Cormier is off. Apparently, Lesnar informed Dana White that he’s retiring, so the UFC now has to change gears. Now, after the months of fuckery, the UFC is trying to schedule a rematch between Cormier and Stipe Miocic. Side note, this is the fight that should’ve happened from the beginning. Fuck all that Hollywood shit, son. The best should be fighting the best. Period.

Now, I never understood why Cormier wanted to fight Lesnar in the first place, man. Ok, yes, I know Cormier was looking for a big payday. But, that bout would’ve contradicted everything he claimed to stand for. Shit, he’s extremely vocal about being a clean athlete and often criticizes Jon Jones for his transgressions. So, his answer was to fight Lesnar, a man who’s also failed drug tests? Come the fuck on, fam.

In the end, I just want Miocic to get his just due, bruh. Ultimately, he’s achieved more than any other Heavyweight in UFC history. By and by, it was fucked up to see him being dismissed so easily. At the end of the day, I think the rematch with Cormier will be crazy. All I know is, that’s what real MMA fans want, son. That is all. LC out.

I Want Jon Jones To Lose

So, let me begin this post by saying that I am a huge Jon Jones fan. Actually, I take that back, son. I WAS a huge Jon Jones fan. I mean, let’s be real, man. At this point, if anyone doesn’t believe that Jones is a cheater, they’re fucking delusional, fam. All I know is, the lead-up to UFC 232 has been a straight shit-show, bruh. The fact of the matter is, Dana White, Jeff Novitzky and USADA are okay with Jones being a cheater because he’s one of the UFC’s biggest names.

Ok, for those who have been living under a rock, Jones has tested positive (again) for a banned substance. Now, by my calculations, this is the fourth time he’s run afoul of the drug-testing committee. First, he was busted before UFC 200 and was pulled out of his rematch with Daniel Cormier. Next, he was busted for “tainted dick pills” after his win against Ovince Saint Preux. After that, he was busted for turinabol after his knockout win against Cormier. In any case, that last failure is most notable because turinabol is the same substance that was found in his system last week. All I can say is, I’m fucking done with Jon Jones, son.

Now, according to the “experts,” the turinabol found in Jones’ system is a “residual” effect of the drug discovered last year. Meaning, this isn’t a new ingestion and he was already punished for this before. Furthermore, turinabol is said to linger in a person’s body for 12-18 months. Anyway, with all of that being said, I still have MAJOR problems with this story, man. Look, according to Jeff Novitzky, UFC’s Vice President of Athlete Health and Performance, Jones first passed a drug test on August 9th. Then, he failed tests on August 29th and September 18th. Then, he passed four consecutive tests. Finally, he failed his most recent test on December 9th.

Look, that timeline sounds like pure horseshit to me, fam. If Jones has “residual” turinabol in his body, then why are his test results all over the place? Shit, he passes one test and then fails the next one. All the while, the amount of turinabol they find increases with each positive test. Bruh, if USADA doesn’t get the fuck outta here, son! It’s all fucking nonsense and shenanigans, man! Like, let’s call a spade a spade, folks. Real talk, the UFC wants Jones back because he’s a high-profile name. Frankly, they don’t care that he’s a habitual doper, brethren. On the real, a Jones fight equals pay-per-view buys. So, they just let him get away with anything, people. Regardless of that fact, I’m done with Jon Jones. No more bullshit, Bones.

In the end, this is a sad day for me, son. Ultimately, Jon Jones is the reason I started watching MMA, man. By and by, that’s not enough to continue my allegiance, fam. At the end of the day, there need to be some consequences for his actions, bruh. He can’t keep fucking up and walking right back into a title shot, people. The way I see it, the “undefeated” fighter needs to finally lose, folks. So, I hope Alexander Gustafsson knocks him the fuck out on Saturday. That is all. LC out.

Daniel Cormier Is Ducking The Smoke

Man, didn’t I just try to give Daniel Cormier his props? Didn’t I just tell people that we needed to respect what he’s accomplished? With that being said, why is he now out here ducking the smoke, son? Look, I’m a Derrick Lewis fan, but even HE said that he doesn’t deserve a title shot, fam. So, why would the UFC make this fight when Jon Jones and Stipe Miocic are lurking out there? Frankly, it looks like Cormier doesn’t want to risk losing his Heavyweight belt to a real challenge, bruh. All in all, he’s looking real funny in the light right now, folks.

Ok, for those who missed it, Cormier is now scheduled to fight Lewis during UFC 230 at Madison Square Garden. For me, this is a little wild since Lewis literally JUST fought Alexander Volkov at UFC 229. Furthermore, this is even weirder because Lewis almost lost that fight. On the real, Volkov was beating his ass the entire match, son. Shit, if Lewis didn’t land that right hand in the third round, it would’ve been an easy victory for Volkov. So, is THAT the performance that earned Lewis’ shot at the belt? Hell nah, man! Look, even Lewis knew he wasn’t ready after that fight. Like, he specifically spoke about his lack of cardio, fam. Real talk, I don’t understand this move at all, bruh.

To me, there’s only one explanation for this, son: Cormier doesn’t want to fight anyone who could legitimately take the belt from him. Listen, after being cleared to fight again, there was speculation that Jones might enter the cage against Cormier for a third time. Instead, he’s about to fight Alexander Gustafsson at UFC 232 for the Light Heavyweight title that Cormier is not defending. Side note, in my eyes, the belt was never Cormier’s anyway. I mean, he never beat Jones, brethren. It’s that simple. In any case, ex-champ Miocic has already campaigned for a rematch against Cormier. Even worse, he previously said he’d be ready for UFC 230, the same event where Cormier is fighting Lewis. Nah, son, Cormier and Dana White are looking real suspect out here, man.

In the end, Cormier has some explaining to do, fam. Ultimately, no one wants to see him fight Derrick Lewis. No one wants to see him fight Brock Lesnar. By and by, no one even really wants to see him fight Miocic again. At the end of the day, if he isn’t going to man up and fight Jones again, then a lot of us fight fans will continue to hold those two L’s over his head. All I can say is, based on the shit he’s doing right now, he might deserve the hate, bruh. That is all. LC out.

Jon Jones Is Back!

So, it’s no secret that I’m a huge fan of MMA and a huge fan of Jon Jones. Look, that dude may be a train wreck outside of the cage, but inside that bitch, he’s flawless, son. With that being said, I’m hyped that he’s eligible to compete again, man. Frankly, the UFC is a little more boring when the G.O.A.T. isn’t fighting, fam. All in all, let the haters hate and let Jones be great, bruh.

Ok, for those who missed it, Jones was in USADA limbo for the past year. Since testing positive for a banned substance after his second win over Daniel Cormier, everyone wondered what Jones’ future was going to be. On the real, shit didn’t look good, son. I mean, this wasn’t his first time pissing hot, so he could’ve faced a long ass suspension, man. However, despite reports of a potential four-year ban, Jones escaped with only 15 months. Apparently, according to USADA, Jones didn’t intentionally cheat and took a tainted supplement.

Now, let me keep it a buck, fam. Look, at this point, I can completely understand the skeptics. Real talk, I completely understand the folks who think there’s something fishy in the water, bruh. Like, it’s no secret that Jones is one of the UFC’s biggest stars, son. It’s also no secret that he has a long history of doing fuck shit, man. So, it does seem odd that a dude with his background is getting off so easy. My thing is, I don’t give a fuck, folks! I just wanna see this guy fight, people!

Listen, people can complain all they want, but MMA is a business, son. In order for these organizations to run effectively, they need to keep booking big fights, man. To that end, the UFC needs Jones, fam. In addition, a lot of the naysayers are hypocrites, bruh. Look, Cormier can’t say shit about Jones when he’s planning to fight Brock Lesnar. For God‘s sake, is someone going to try and tell me that Lesnar is clean? Geeeeeet the fuck outta here, y’all! Dudes like Cormier are just pissed because they know they can’t beat Jones. Simple and plain.

In the end, welcome back, Jones! All I can say is, don’t fuck this up, son! Nah, seriously, don’t fuck this up, man! Ultimately, if he gets knocked for some dumb shit again, I’m off of the bandwagon, fam. By and by, who’s going to be first on the comeback list, bruh? Cormier or Alexander Gustafsson? Either way, I can’t wait, bruh! That is all. LC out.

Give Daniel Cormier Some Respect!

Man, why do people hate Daniel Cormier so much? I mean, despite being a seemingly positive dude, he constantly gets shitted on by fans, son. Ok, look, I’m as big a Jon Jones apologist as anyone, but that doesn’t take away from what Cormier has accomplished, fam. Listen, from his Strikeforce days to his run in the UFC, Cormier has damn near done it all, bruh. All in all, after beating Stipe Miocic for the Heavyweight title, it’s time to put some respeck on Cormier’s name, folks. Word to Birdman.

Now, before I continue, let’s get the obvious out of the way, son. Ok, yes, Cormier lost to Jones twice. With that being said, I understand why some people have a hard time accepting Cormier as the Light Heavyweight champion. But, if Jones wasn’t such a fucktard, he wouldn’t have lost his title in the first place, man. Shit, after his first fight with Cormier, he lost the belt for hitting a pregnant woman with his car. Next, after his second fight with Cormier, he lost the belt for testing dirty for turinabol. On the real, no one should feel sorry for Jones, fam. Frankly, he squandered his career because of his continuous lack of judgement, bruh.

Anyway, when it comes to Cormier, he’s achieved damn near everything in MMA, son. Hell, before making his mark in the UFC, he was the Strikeforce Heavyweight champ. From there, he went down to Light Heavyweight so he didn’t get in the way of his teammate, Cain Velasquez. Real talk, outside of his questionable losses to Jones, Cormier is undefeated, man. Side note, I now call Jones’s victories “questionable” because he’s pissed hot twice, fam. Keeping it a buck, Jones hasn’t had a good run since USADA took over the drug testing, bruh. All I can say is, it makes me wonder about all of his other wins now. *Sigh* That’s just so damn disappointing, folks.

In the end, we all need to give Cormier his just due, son. Ultimately, we can put an asterisk next to his Light Heavyweight crown, but we can’t do the same with his Heavyweight title, man. By and by, he knocked the FUCK outta Miocic, fam! At the end of the day, Miocic is a legend in his own right, bruh. He holds the record for the most consecutive Heavyweight title defenses and Cormier put him down. All I know is, that’s the mark of a man who deserves his respect, people. That is all. LC out.

Nooo, Ronda Rousey Wasn’t Ready!

So, at this point, Kevin Hart‘s “She Wasn’t Ready” bit is so ingrained in my head, it was the first thing I thought of when I saw Ronda Rousey get the tomorrow knocked outta her by Amanda Nunes. Shiiiit, that’s gotta be it, right? I mean, Rousey’s career has gotta be over, right? This is now the second straight time her face got the piñata treatment, son. First, she got the business from Holly Holm, and now Nunes got her hits in. With that being said, I think it’s safe to say, happy trails, Ronda!

Now, keeping it a buck, there really isn’t much to write about this, man. I can’t turn a 48 second fight into a dissertation. Shit, as soon as the rumble started, it ended, son. Nunes came out of gate looking for blood and Rousey had absolutely no answers. I do, however, have a question for Rousey’s coach. Rousey built her career on grappling moves and submissions. Why the fuck is she being advised to box her opponents? I would’ve assumed that the ass whooping she took from Holm would’ve been enough for her team to realize boxing is a bad fucking idea. Instead, Rousey tried to put her dukes up against Nunes and got beaten like a rented mule, man. All I can say is, her team set her up for failure. Pure failure.

Ok, so, the last point I want to make is in regards to some fuck shit Rousey’s mother said. After her daughter got her ass kicked, again, AnnMaria De Mars expressed her desire to see Rousey retire. Now, that’s not the bad part. In all honesty, that would probably be the best move for Rousey. Things got weird when De Mars said “I told her that at the beginning of this thing that [she’s] smart and beautiful, let the stupid people get punched in the face.”

Wait, huh? Naaaah, son. De Mars hasn’t earned the right to have that attitude, man. As far as we’re all concerned, her daughter is the only stupid person getting punched in the face. As we’ve seen in her last two fights, her opponents actually punch her in the face quite often, son. Maybe her daughter is the dumbest of them all because she keeps getting in the Octagon to have her shit pushed in. Someone tell De Mars to go sit her ass down somewhere. Oh, and maybe she should take her daughter with her. She clearly isn’t making it in this MMA world, man. The only fighter who can take repeated head shots and still come out on top is Rocky Balboa. And did I mention, he isn’t real!

In the end, I won’t front like that Rousey-Nunes fight wasn’t entertaining, son. Shit is bad when the entire fight can fit in an Instagram video. All I know is, the only MMA fighter who’s really worth the hype is Jon Jones. I just wish that fool would stop doing dumb shit outside of the ring. Good day.