A Letter To Ari Shaffir

Dear Ari Shaffir,

So, instead of just flying off of the handle from the rip, I want to actually get a sense of what’s going on in your head. Like, I’ll never understand why some people think it’s cool to joke about death. With that being said, I’m honestly not here to talk to you about your feelings regarding Kobe Bryant. Instead, I genuinely want to know if you have a soul at all. The way I see it, no “joke” is worth coming off as a subhuman piece of sewer shit.

Ok, to be fair, you’ve been talking shit about Bryant for years. Frankly, ever since his rape charges were dropped, you’ve been VERY vocal about how you believe he got away with a crime. Now, even though you’re clearly not a fan of the man, I was still taken aback by the fuckery you spewed on Twitter and Instagram. Son, you were literally celebrating the fact that Bryant died. Apparently, his death is a “good story” and you shouted out the “hero who forgot to gas up his chopper.” Furthermore, for some reason, you thought it was appropriate to profess your hatred of the Los Angeles Lakers.

Now, keeping it a buck, I don’t even know where to begin, man. Look, as I said above, you can feel however you want to feel about Kobe Bryant. But, you fuck-face, eight other people died on that damn helicopter! Did you hate Gianna Bryant too? Did you also hate Christina Mauser? Did you hate Ara Zobayan, the Altobelli and Chester families as well? Is your hatred of one man so strong that you’re content with the demise of several teenagers and their parents? Good fucking Lord, you’re literally one of the worst fucking people I’ve ever witnessed in my life, bruh. All in all, if you think that Bryant’s death was karma, just wait until that shit comes back on you, dumbass. All I know is, I’d bet money that almost no one will cry for you.

In the end, good luck with those “jokes,” son. Ultimately, being an asshole has brought you greater visibility than any of your comedy routines, man. By and by, I hope you run into any of the family members from the people you’ve disrespected. All I can say is, sometimes street justice is the best form of justice, bruh. At the end of the day, I’m not telling you to care about Kobe Bryant. But, if other innocent lives don’t matter to you, then who’s the REAL evil person here? That is all.

Sincerely,

A dude who only knows that you exist because of Joe Rogan

Joe Budden For The Win!

So, it’s no secret that I’m a Joe Budden fan, son. I mean, I’ve already written about that on this very site, man. Shit, even before The Joe Budden Podcast with Rory and Mal, I was there for his debut album and entire Mood Muzik series. In any case, after all of these years, it’s super dope to see what he’s been able to accomplish with his podcast, fam. As of right now, I just hope that his new deal with Spotify works out for the best. All I know is, Budden might have the best rebrand in history, bruh.

Ok, for those who missed it, Budden just announced that he teamed up with Spotify to distribute his podcast. Now, according to the details, the show will be released exclusively through the streaming site, but will remain free for the listeners. Furthermore, Budden will now release two episodes per week, but still update his YouTube channel with content. Lastly, all of these changes will take place in September.

Keeping it a buck, I don’t know what else to say, son. Hell, this is just a dope ass move for Budden, Rory and Mal. Listen, I’ve been tuned into the podcast from the beginning (word to Marisa Mendez). So, I’ve seen the show through all of its incarnations, man. On the real, Budden’s podcast and The Joe Rogan Experience are my favorite joints to listen to, fam. With that being said, it’s about damn time that Budden and company got some recognition, bruh.

In the end, shout-out to Joe Budden for staying the course, son. Ultimately, he’s done AND been through a lot of bullshit along the way. Needless to say, he’s found a way to make it all work in the end. Shit, the New York Times just likened him to Howard Stern, but it wasn’t necessary, man. At the end of the day, Budden’s crazy ass is finally getting acknowledgement for being himself. That is all. LC out.