Quincy Jones Doesn’t Give A F*ck

Listen, old people don’t give a flying fuckity-fuck, son. I swear, once people make it past “retirement age,” they do and say whatever the hell they want, man. All I know is, Quincy Jones DEFINITELY fits into that category, fam. Real talk, the legendary producer recently did interviews with GQ AND with Vulture. Needless to say, he let ALL of the hot takes go, bruh! All in all, I can see people having issues with some of his statements. However; his sit-downs with these well-known publications were HIGHLY entertaining, folks!

Ok, let’s just skip the formalities, son. On the real, I simply want to get straight to the fuckery, man. Now, in regards to the tomfoolery, I want to do something a little different, fam. Keeping it a buck, I want to go through some of Jones’s most ear-catching stories in bullet format. With that being said, here’s some of the shit that made me go “oh shit”:

1. Jones claims to have 22 girlfriends all around the world. In addition, despite being 84 years old, his women apparently range between 28 and 42. Now, even funnier, those ages are part of an agreement between him and his daughters. Look, this is a wild motherfucker, son!

2. When he was down with Lionel Hampton‘s band, they allegedly used to buy dope from Detroit Red. Now, this is notable because the man formerly known as Detroit Red eventually became Malcolm X. Sheesh, that’s some wild shit, man!

3. Jones claims that Ray Charles convinced him to try heroin for a few months. In addition, Charles’s addiction was apparently so bad, he used to have a guy shoot dope directly into his nuts. Look, if that story ain’t true, then Jones has the CRAZIEST imagination, fam!

4. Apparently, after the infamous James Brown concert where Prince embarrassed himself in front of Michael Jackson, Prince tried to run over MJ with his limousine. Bruh, that’s fucking HILARIOUS! I swear, Prince was always the king of petty. This is part of the reason why I’m still a huge fan of his.

5. Jones asserts that MJ’s monkey, Bubbles, hit his daughter Rashida. Now, hurting a child is never funny, but come on, son! Only MJ would get into some shit where his pet monkey hit a kid. Good Lord, Mike was a cotdamn legend but a weird ass dude, man!

6. Jones maintains that Taylor Swift is a bad songwriter, that Elvis Presley couldn’t sing and that The Beatles were terrible musicians. Listen, I can see A LOT of people being upset by these claims, but what the fuck can they say to Quincy Jones, fam? I mean, he’s a legend among legends, bruh. Just deal with it.

7. Jones said that Marilyn Monroe‘s breasts looked like pears. On the real, I don’t know why that’s so funny, but I laughed REALLY hard when I read that, son.

8. About twelve years ago, Jones allegedly dated Ivanka Trump. Now, in his own words, she had great legs, so OF COURSE he had to do it, man! Real talk, this man has been a dog, by his own admission, for DECADES!

9. Last but not least, Jones claims that Marlon Brando smashed James Baldwin, Richard Pryor and Marvin Gaye. Now, I’m not surprised by Baldwin. Hell, I’m not even surprised by Pryor. Look, Pryor has made jokes about his sexuality and his widow even confirmed the story. However; Gaye through me for a loop, fam. All in all, this tale doesn’t make one bit of difference to me. But, it’s bugged out how casually Jones said it, bruh. Shit, it’s almost as if he looked at the interviewer crazy for not knowing this information. At the end of the day, Jones has seen EVERYTHING, people!

In the end, long live Quincy Jones, son! Ultimately, that’s a wild ass dude, man! All I can say is, I can read/listen/watch his interviews all day, fam. By and by, shout-out to GQ and Vulture for getting him to let off these shots. That is all. LC out.

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Bruno Mars Made A Blackity-Black A*s Album

So, I should have written something about Bruno Mars24K Magic album sooner, but I was too busy listening to it on repeat. Honestly speaking, this album is unskippable, man! I’m not even sure if unskippable is a word, but that’s the only way to describe this album, son. In nine songs, Mars legitimately chronicled all of Black music since the early 1970s. With that being said, I would be remiss if I didn’t talk about this masterpiece.

Now, when I say that Bruno made a Blackity-Black ass album, I’m referring to the fact that it references so many past legends. “24K Magic” is essentially a Zapp song, “Perm” is a James Brown song, “Versace On The Floor” is a Freddie Jackson song and “Finesse” is vintage Teddy Riley. In those four songs alone, Bruno was able to synthesize different styles from across three different decades. He basically made an album of Top 40 songs that references Top 40 songs from past eras. Honestly, it’s fucking uncanny how he was able to replicate some of these sounds, man. On the aforementioned “Finesse,” which is my favorite song on the album, I’m convinced he stole some of Teddy’s keyboards, bro. The sound is way too perfect, son.

Ultimately, I could keep going, but there’s really nothing else that needs to be said. If anyone is a fan of Black music, they’ll definitely be a fan of this album. Side note, let’s be real, damn near ALL music stems from Black music. Don’t even try to fight me on this, son. In any case, I’m just happy to see an artist breathe new life into some of these genres, man. In addition, I’m hyped to hear musicianship again. When I listen to a lot of music these days, I wonder if some of these “artists” even know what an instrument is. Then again, that’s a discussion for another day, son. Now, go listen to that Bruno Mars album! Good day.