Travis Scott Needs To Give Christian Adam These Hands

So, let me just skip the formalities, son. I mean, if anyone is even remotely familiar with Travis Scott or Kylie Jenner, they’d be aware of the “cheating scandal,” man. Now, I put “cheating scandal” in quotations because the infidelity never occurred, fam. As a matter of fact, the picture floating around that allegedly showed Scott with another woman was all a ruse, bruh. In actuality, a dude named Christian Adam, also known as ChristianAdamG, pretended to be Scott as part of a “social experiment.” All I know is, if I were Scott, I’d have to lay holy hands on Adam, folks.

Ok, before I continue, let me try to explain what Adam’s intentions were. Now, according to him, he wanted to show everyone how gullible the internet is. Anyway, to prove his point, he colored his braids to match Scott’s, got up on a balcony with some thick chick and let social media do the rest. Next, TMZ took the picture and ran with it. From there, I started seeing everybody repost the pic and comment about how Scott was wilin’ in these streets. Hell, even I saw the photo and was like “welp, they caught my guy slipping, son.” So, all in all, Adam’s experiment worked, man. Frankly, he successfully proved that the internet will run with anything without fact-checking, fam.

Moving on, as a dude with a wife and kids, I would be LIVID if I were Scott, bruh. Look, I know he and Jenner are showing a united front, but I guarantee he had to answer some questions at home, son. The way I see it, if another person fraudulently causes turmoil in my household, that person needs to be put in a rear-naked choke. Like, don’t conduct no experiments at my expense, man. Real talk, women almost NEVER believe the “it wasn’t me” excuse, fam. Listen, it ain’t work for Shaggy and it damn sure wouldn’t work for Scott. Keeping it a buck, this situation is one of the rare times when “this isn’t what it looks like” is actually applicable, brethren.

In the end, bravo, Adam. Ultimately, he got his point across, son. By and by, the internet is definitely as stupid as he thought it was. At the end of the day, he better be careful, man. On the real, he shouldn’t be surprised if he starts to see random fists thrown in his direction, fam. All I can say is, that’s the risk he took by messing with another man’s family. That is all. LC out.

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Say It Ain’t So, Melo!

Now, just in case anyone missed this, I’m a diehard New York Knicks fan. Like, diehard to the point that this team has caused me mental, emotional and physical pain. Side note, I said “physical pain” because my cousin once body slammed me after a Knicks loss in the ’90s. But that’s a story for another day, son. In any case, while I haven’t always been pro-Carmelo Anthony, I refuse to believe these recent reports. All I know is, if he really got a stripper pregnant, then he has WAY bigger problems than his issues with Phil Jackson.

Ok, before I continue, let me explain my issues with Melo. Now, keeping it a buck, my gripes aren’t really with him at all. Honestly, I have beef with the circumstances that brought him to the team in the first place. Look, if we venture back to 2011, the fuckery of James Dolan and company is very visible. After regaining some respectability with Amar’e Stoudemire, the dumbass Knicks front office decided to trade away Wilson Chandler, Raymond Felton, Danilo Gallinari, Timofey Mozgov and a first-round draft pick for Melo, Chauncey Billups and a bunch of bums. Yeah, we made it to the playoffs twice, but we were doomed from the start, man. Needless to say, I’ve always held a grudge, son.

So, now that I’ve gotten that out of the way, let’s talk about the fuck shit that Melo might’ve gotten himself into. First, news came out that he was separating from his wife, La La Anthony. Now, while the breakup of a marriage is always sad, people get divorced everyday, B. That in and of itself isn’t the story. Apparently, a major catalyst for their split is the rumor that he got a stripper pregnant here in NY.

*Sigh* Man, on everything I love, I hope that’s not true, son. Really, bro? Really?! With all of the stress he’s dealing with, courtesy of the Knicks, he thought this was the move? Bruh, he can’t be that stupid. Please tell me he isn’t that dumb, fam. Shiiiit, let me come home and tell my wife I knocked up a stripper. I probably won’t leave the house alive or in one piece, son. To make matters worse, she’s a lawyer, so she could probably find some legal loophole to get herself acquitted, man. With that being said, I’m gonna keep it reeeeal cool over here.

In the end, Melo and La La have been together for waaaaay too long to have it end like this, bruh. Shit, I remember the struggle days when La La worked for MTV and Melo was fresh off the block. Ultimately, I will not believe these reports until someone from their camp confirms it. Until then, Melo needs to use that Shaggy defense: “it wasn’t me.” Then again, he doesn’t play a lick of defense, so he might be fucked, son. LC out.