The Most Slanderous Moments Of Barack Obama’s Presidency

So, I guess it really is over, huh? Barack Obama’s presidency is really coming to an end, huh? Donald Trump is really about to be unleashed on us, huh? Well, since I’m an expert in laughing to keep from crying, I’ve decided to talk about some of the most slanderous moments of Obama’s presidency. Over the past eight years, he’s experienced all types of shade and downright disrespect. As a matter of fact, one of the most egregious examples came from our own President-elect. With that being said, let’s go through some of the most ridiculous things that have happened to our soon-to-be former President.

First, let’s talk about the time Barack and Michelle Obama gave each other dap and the right-wing called it a “terrorist fist jab.” Like, that actually happened, son. Back in June of 2008, while the then-Senator was running his presidential campaign, there was a Fox News panel discussion about his exchange with Michelle. Like, pundits legit sat around a table and tried to decipher giving dap, man. Seriously, I can’t make this shit up, son. Now, I’ve seen and heard plenty of stupid things in my lifetime, but this might be on the Mount Rushmore, bro. Obama’s detractors really tried ANYTHING to discredit this dude, no matter how ridiculous the tactic was. Such is life, I guess.

Next, there was Donald Trump’s eight-year crusade to prove Obama wasn’t born in America. To this day, I have no idea how the “birther movement” grew legs, man. Apparently, official documentation of his birth isn’t enough for idiots to concede the fact that he was born on U.S. soil. To be honest, I’m upset with Obama for even entertaining this foolishness. When he released his birth certificate, I personally felt like he was giving into the bullshit. Bruh, who cares what an orange-faced, fake-haired internet troll has to say? Just handle presidential business and let Trump continue to swim in his sea of nonsense. Then again, let me not say that, because Trump’s nonsense might get us all killed, son. Let us pray.

Finally, how about the persistent rumor that Obama is Muslim? Now, there’s multiple ways to look at this, son. At this point, I think it’s understood that these rumors were circulated to damage his reputation. As we all know, America has made Islam synonymous with terrorism. So, maybe, if Obama is presented as a Muslim, his haters could get him out of office, right?

Well, there’s a couple of ways to look at this. First off, Islam and Islamic radicalism are two different things. I really don’t understand why people don’t understand that. If we’re keeping it real here, in the Middle East, other Muslims are the biggest victims of Islamic radicalism. The right-wing doesn’t talk about that because it doesn’t fit their narrative. Since 9/11, there have been more terrorist attacks in America by White men than Al Qaeda and ISIS combined. However; naysayers remain mum on that issue. Second, our own First Amendment endorses freedom of religion. This constant disrespect to Islam is an affront to the First Amendment, man. In case people forgot, the American forefathers escaped religious persecution in Europe. It’s funny how that’s all folks want to do here now. It makes absolutely no sense, son. No sense at all.

Ultimately, I could’ve talked about a MOUNTAIN of tomfoolery that occurred during Obama’s presidency. Those three examples were just the first three that popped into my head, man. It goes without saying, Obama had to deal with a ton of fuckery during his eight years in the Oval Office. Wait, now that I think about it, I might super glue him to his White House desk so Trump has nowhere to set up shop. I refuse to except a Twitter fiend as my President, son. That’s all I have to say about that. LC out.

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I Wish Dylann Roof The Absolute Worst

So, I, like many others, was always taught growing up to never wish ill on someone. “Do unto others as you would have them do unto you,” so on and so forth. However; some people deserve to have bad shit happen to them. Dylann Roof is one of those people, man. Keeping it a buck, I have nothing positive to say about that piece of shit and I genuinely, GENUINELY hope his time in prison is brutal.

Now, at this point, I shouldn’t have to tell everyone what this subhuman did. Anyone who isn’t aware of the Emanuel African Methodist Episcopal Church massacre that happened in South Carolina must not care about people. In any case, Roof’s trial just wrapped up and he was found guilty on all counts. As of right now, he’s in the sentencing phase.

To be clear, his conviction is not why I’m writing this. Nah, what he said at his death penalty trial made my fucking blood boil, son. Not only did he fail to apologize for killing nine innocent people, but he also made some bullshit speech about why he “had” to do what he did. In his eyes, his deed was some sort of ridiculous retribution for all of the “innocent White children” who have to live in this country and all of the “innocent White people” killed by the “lower race.” He continued by saying he represented himself in court because he didn’t want his lawyers to question his mental stability. Apparently, there’s nothing wrong with this asshole.

*Sigh* I don’t even know where to start, man. Ok, let’s start with the fact that 84% of White people are killed by other White people. That stat comes directly from the FBI, man. So, who are all of these White people being killed by the “lower race?” This fucking devil based his entire rampage on a theory that doesn’t even fucking exist, man. This is no better than Donald Trump and Ann Coulter calling all Latinos “rapists” and the overall Islamophobia being perpetuated in this country. A misguided fear of the “other” is leading people to commit heinous crimes against innocent folks. There are never any facts to bolster a bigot’s argument, yet they feel like it’s their right to harm people who don’t look, act or believe like them. It’s absolutely fucking disgusting, man.

Ultimately, I’m one of the few people who doesn’t believe in the death penalty. Not because I think it’s wrong, but because I think life in prison is worse. I want Dylann Roof to spend the rest of his natural life in general population. I don’t want him to be protected from any of the other inmates. Let’s see how long he lacks remorse when his cellmates lack remorse for him. Let’s see how long he thinks he’s tough when he encounters some really tough people. Death is the easy way out for cowards like him. He needs to continually suffer until he understands the gravity of what he’s done. And even then, he should suffer some more. I’m out.