Who In Hawaii Needs To Get Fired?

Look, this is a wild era right now, son. Like, it really feels like a nuclear catastrophe could arise at any minute, man. With that being said, we ain’t got the time to be worried about idiots who are bad at their job. I mean, a high level of incompetence resulted in the nonsense that occurred in Hawaii. All I know is, the good people down there didn’t deserve the fear that was unjustly instilled in them.

Ok, for those who missed it, some bonehead in the Hawaii Emergency Management Agency made a MASSIVE mistake. Now, on Saturday, an unknown individual sent out a message that said “BALLISTIC MISSILE THREAT INBOUND TO HAWAII. SEEK IMMEDIATE SHELTER. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.” Needless to say, Hawaiians lost their collective minds, fam! Shit, all of us would if we received a similar message, bruh! Listen, whether we’re speaking about North Korea or ISIS, there are real threats out there in the world. In any case, now is not the time to be making these kind of mistakes, folks!

Now, the agency has come out and said that the error occurred because someone pushed the wrong button. Apparently, instead of pressing “test alert,” some dumb-dumb pressed “live alert.” So, what, that’s all it took to send an entire state into panic, son? Like, there aren’t more safeguards to prevent this type of tomfoolery? Fam, what kind of idiocy is this? For fuck’s sake, who designed this backwards ass system, man? All in all, everyone down there should be fired for this brand of fuckery, fam!

In the end, I’m just glad everyone in Hawaii is safe, bruh. Yeah, they had an unnecessary scare, but ultimately, the alternative could’ve been REAL bad, son! By and by, a fake message about a ballistic missile is waaaaaay better than a real ballistic missile, fam. Now, instead of mourning the loss of fallen loved ones, we can make sure that inept assholes are no longer in charge of our safety. That is all. LC out.

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More Terrorism In New York

So, let me begin this post by saying that Akayed Ullah is a clown. This 27-year-old dude from Bangladesh really tried to hit Port Authority with a homemade bomb, son. Now, I won’t lie, man. As a native New Yorker, I’ve always had a deep-rooted fear of a subway explosion. I mean, our train system is so interconnected that a well-placed attack would be DAMAGING, fam! With that being said, I’m HIGHLY thankful that Ullah was ill-prepared, bruh. All in all, every last one of these ISIS enthusiasts need to be destroyed, folks.

Ok, let me be honest for a second. So, my normal morning routine consists of watching the news while my wife and I get our kids ready for the day. For whatever reason, I didn’t watch the news yesterday morning. In any case, I got on the D train at 8:15 but didn’t make it to work until 9:45. Keep in mind, the average train ride to work is only about 20 minutes. Now, the whole time I was stuck on the train, I had no idea that the delays were due to Ullah’s fuckery. Frankly, I just thought the MTA was up to its normal bullshit, son. Anyway, once I realized the gravity of the situation, I was just grateful that things didn’t take a more drastic turn.

Keeping it a buck, it’s scenarios like this that remind us how vulnerable we are. September 11 might have been 16 years ago, but in the grand scheme of things, not much time has passed, man. On the real, incidents like this remind us that there are fools who really want to harm innocent people. Moving on, as a result of Ullah’s premature explosion, he injured five people who were just trying to go about their day. Real talk, I know he was hurt too, but I don’t give a flying fuck about that, fam. All I know is, I wish he would’ve been the only one to take any damage, bruh.

In the end, I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again, son: ISIS is a bunch of cowards. Ultimately, they only target people who can’t go back at them. By and by, a wife going to work has nothing to do with their Jihad. A husband that’s late for his meeting has nothing to do with their Jihad. Losers like Ullah accept our residency and then become convinced that we’re the enemy. Look, bitch, if this country is nothing but infidels, then fucking leave, man! All I can say is, shout-out to all of my Muslim brethren who condemn this senseless tomfoolery. In addition, I hope Ullah gets used to prison. Shit, that motherfucker ain’t never getting out, fam. That is all. LC out.

The REAL Faces Of Terror

Disclaimer: This post is probably going to piss some people off, son. Tough shit, man.

Look, I’m going to just get straight to the point, fam. When it comes to terrorism in America, radical Muslims aren’t our biggest threat. Now, if we’re keeping it a buck here, there’s one group who’s a larger problem than anyone else: White men. Listen, I know a lot of people are going to take this post the wrong way, but the numbers don’t lie, bruh. Since 9/11, WAY more Americans have been killed by White men than Islamic extremists. All in all, THIS is the REAL face of terror, folks!

Ok, before I continue, let me make one thing clear: radical Islamic terrorists are a real problem. Now, I don’t want to make it sound like I don’t believe that groups like ISIS and al-Qaeda are a problem. With that being said, they don’t cause NEARLY as many issues in the United States as politicians would have us believe. Shit, even when it comes to extremist-related attacks, a good number of the perpetrators are U.S. citizens. In addition, even when they’re not citizens, none of them come from the countries on Donald Trump’s Muslim Ban. So, what terror is he preventing exactly?

So, I was compelled to write this post after the tragedy in Sutherland Springs, Texas. Just yesterday, 26-year-old Devin Patrick Kelley opened fire at First Baptist Church. In the wake of the carnage, 26 people were killed, including the pastor’s daughter. Now, once his mayhem had subsided, he was found dead in his vehicle, seemingly from a self-inflicted gunshot wound. As of now, we have no idea what his motive was. However; history tells us that he was a piece of shit.

Now, based on recently-released information, Kelley was a bad seed through and through. During his time in the Air Force, he was court-martialed for beating up his wife and his child. He ended up serving a year in a military prison and was subsequently dishonorably discharged. Furthermore, he wasn’t allowed to own any weapons but still descended upon the people in that church with an assault rifle. *Sigh* Man, half of the parishioners are dead and we have NO clue why, son.

Moving on, I don’t want to turn this into a political debate, but Trump truly makes my blood boil, man. He couldn’t WAIT to call Sayfullo Saipov an “animal,” but had no such words for Kelley. Instead, he chalked it all up to a “mental health” issue and refused to comment on gun control. Well, if it’s “too early” to talk about gun reform, then why isn’t it too early to talk about mental health? Let’s be real, Trump doesn’t know anything about this man, fam. So, how does he know whether or not he’s crazy? Bruh, get the flying fuck outta here!

In the end, I just want this country to be honest with itself, son. Devin Patrick Kelley is a terrorist, man. Stephen Paddock is a terrorist, fam. Ultimately, Americans have a higher probability of running into them than an Islamic extremist. By and by, until we come to grips with these facts, people are going to keep on dying, bruh. All I can say, Rest In Peace to all of the innocent people who lost their lives. LC out.

More Terror In New York

So, let me get straight to the point, son. Fuck ISIS and everyone who wants to be down with them, man. Real talk, the entire organization is full of cowards, fam. I mean, what do they really do, bruh? They attack innocent people. That’s all they’re really good for, folks: attacking innocent people. With that being said, I hope they bury Sayfullo Saipov under the jail, son. All in all, his attack on New York City can’t go unanswered, man.

Ok, at this point, everyone should be aware of what’s going on, fam. Basically, 29-year-old Saipov used a rental truck to mow down pedestrians in a Manhattan bike lane. Ultimately, eight people were killed and many more were injured. Finally, when police arrived on the scene, he hopped out of the vehicle, shouted “Allahu Akbar” and got shot by the cops. Apparently, he was carrying a BB gun and a paintball gun.

Now, under normal circumstances, I would eviscerate Donald Trump for IMMEDIATELY politicizing this tragedy. However; I’d much rather have solidarity with the innocent victims, bruh. Frankly, I don’t have time for Trump’s shenanigans, son. By and by, the people are the only ones that actually matter, man. On the real, if 45 really wants to help, then get rid of ISIS like he claimed he would on the campaign trail. Shit, didn’t he say it would be easy, fam? If that was the case, then why do they still exist, people?

In the end, I have nothing else to contribute here, son. All I can say is, Rest In Peace to all of the individuals who lost their lives to such senseless violence. Moving on, it’s high time that we get ISIS the fuck outta here, man! Look, what kind of holy war is solely aimed at innocent people, fam? Keeping it a buck, those are the only ones they’re targeting, bruh. All in all, it’s nothing but sucker shit, folks. So, fuck ‘em all! LC out.

P.S. I just want to put it out there that the authorities were able to capture Saipov alive. Now, I’m not saying, but I’m just saying. That is all.

Can We Stop Politicizing The Death Of Soldiers?

So, keeping it a buck, my wife believes that I should run for office one day. However; there’s one glaring issue, son: I hate politics. I hate politics because it always gets in the way of human decency, man. Elected officials will take ANY situation and twist it into some bipartisan affair. Frankly, it’s disgusting, fam. It’s even more disgusting when this type of fuckery affects Gold Star families. Look, we argue about EVERYTHING in this fucking country. Can we leave dead soldiers out of it, bruh?

Ok, all of the tomfoolery began after four American soldiers died in Niger, West Africa. Now, details are still murky, but it appears that a 12-man Army team was ambushed by 50 ISIS soldiers. In the aftermath, Sgt. La David Johnson, Staff Sgt. Bryan Black, Staff Sgt. Jeremiah Johnson and Staff Sgt. Dustin Wright laid dead from the confrontation. Under any circumstance, this is a terrible outcome for a soldier. However; the ensuing political firefight has made my blood boil, son.

Now, once word got out about the tragedy, the conversation evolved into whether or not Donald Trump called the families of the fallen soldiers. From there, he incorrectly asserted that previous presidents, especially Barack Obama, didn’t speak with Gold Star families. Next, Congresswoman Frederica Wilson alleged that Trump told La David Johnson’s wife that he “knew what he signed up for.” After that, Wilson, Trump and White House Chief of Staff John Kelly got into a debate about who was telling the truth.

Listen, if Trump really said that to Johnson’s widow, then he’s the lowest form of scum. But, I already knew that about him, man. Shit, this behavior wouldn’t surprise me in the slightest, fam. The problem is the fact that the death of these men is being used to make a political statement. I mean, have we no fucking shame, bruh? These guys literally laid down their lives for this country. Can they get a little fucking respect, people?! This ain’t the damn time to be arguing about who said what to who and when. Honor these fucking soldiers, son!

In the end, I hate politics, man. I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again, fam. Ultimately, people want to make a point as opposed to being right. Honestly, I can’t take the constant bullshit, bruh. *Sigh* I guess this really is politics as usual, folks. LC out.

A Letter To Stephen Paddock

Dear Stephen Paddock,

Fuck you from the deepest depths of my soul and spirit. Frankly, it takes a real piece of shit to callously strip so many people of their tomorrow. I mean, the numbers are unbelievable, you fucking coward! How on EARTH could you kill 59 people and leave another 500+ injured?! Why would you ever think it was ok to slay so many individuals?! By and by, no matter what picture anyone tries to paint, you are nothing more than a grotesque terrorist.

To be real, I don’t know much about you, man. In any case, I don’t really care to know anything about you. Keeping it a buck, I don’t give a fuck about your history, temperament or motive. All I know is, there is NOTHING that could ever justify the carnage you inflicted on so many innocent people! Now, ISIS may be trying to lay claim to your rampage, but I’m going to take that with a HUGE grain of salt, son. All in all, I just think you’re a deviant who murdered helpless folks with no rhyme or reason.

The sad part is, despite the fact that you’re responsible for the worst mass shooting in modern American history, gun control will never be achieved. Despite the fact that authorities found 18 rifles in your hotel room, gun reform will never come down the pike. Real talk, if the Sandy Hook massacre couldn’t get our elected officials to act right, then this won’t even get them to blink. So, situations like this will just keep on happening. In addition, people like you will keep on being a danger to our society.

In the end, only a bitch like you would take their own life after creating such havoc. You knew you couldn’t face the consequences of your actions and took the cheap way out. *Sigh* Being real, I’m WAY more afraid of terrorists like you than any of the make-believe boogeymen our politicians try to convince of. Ultimately, even as the country grieves, nothing is being done to ensure that this doesn’t happen again. So, there’s always potential for more sickos like you. Shit, all I can do is shake my head, man. That is all.

Sincerely,

A man who truly hopes there’s an afterlife so you can suffer for eternity

A Letter To Trump: The Hate ‘On Many Sides’

Dear Donald Trump,

You’ve really dropped the ball on this one, man. I mean, you drop the ball on most things, but you’ve really missed an opportunity here. For someone who claims to be “tough,” your inability to condemn White Supremacists is cowardly at best. Nazi/Ku Klux Klan enthusiasts took over Charlottesville, Virginia and you couldn’t even mention them by name. Instead, you spoke of imaginary hate “on many sides.” All I want to know is, when will you stop cozing up to the bigots who put you in office?

Now, to be clear, racists helped put you in office. Don’t believe me? Just ask David Duke. The former Imperial Wizard of the KKK said as much when he attacked you on Twitter. He was upset that you spoke against the Unite the Right rally, claiming that they’re just fulfilling your vision. Wait, let me say that again, son. The former leader of the KKK believes that the alt-right is fulfilling YOUR vision. At this point, I don’t give a fuck if you believe that you’re racist or not. All you need to know is, racists believe in YOUR message. Frankly, it empowers them to take their bigotry to the streets.

With all of that being said, let’s examine how you’ve handled this situation. After counter-protesters took to the streets to confront your swastika-wearing/Confederate flag-waving supporters, James Alex Fields decided to spring into action. To further the White Nationalist agenda, Fields took his car and plowed into a group of counter-protesters. In the process, he injured 19 people and killed Heather Heyer. Now, after ALL of that, you STILL couldn’t bring yourself to condemn White Supremacists. My God, you’re a fucking disgusting human being, man!

On the real, I’m glad that even Republicans are calling you out on your bullshit. Look, this isn’t the time to pussyfoot on this issue, man. Bruh, it’s so easy for you to call EVERYTHING Radical Islamic Terrorism, but you can’t say a word about domestic terrorism. The fact of the matter is, homegrown terrorists are WAY more dangerous to American citizens than ISIS and al-Qaeda combined! But, here you are, still pandering to your racist ass base instead of comforting the country. All in all, it seems as if bipartisanship knows no bounds, son.

In the end, fuck you, bruh! You’re one of the worst things that’s ever happened to this country, and that’s saying a lot. Keeping it a buck, the current climate of the United States rests squarely on your shoulders. Shit, your rhetoric gave them the platform to rise up. By and by, there aren’t “many sides” here. A White Supremacist murdered a woman and you’re too much of a bitch to admit it. Ultimately, this is exactly what you’re not my President.

Sincerely,

A man who legitimately hates everything about you