Damn, Golden Krust

So, this may be a very New York City-centric post, son. As a matter of fact, this may be a very Bronx and Brooklyn-centric post, man. All I know is, as a West Indian dude who was raised in NYC, the news of Lowell Hawthorne‘s suicide is shocking, fam. Real talk, Golden Krust is a MAJOR part of my life, bruh. With that being said, if the theories behind the CEO‘s death are true, then this situation is highly tragic, folks.

Ok, before I continue, let me just paint a quick picture. So, in case people don’t know, I’m from the Bronx. On the real, I’m the product of Co-op City through and through, son. In any case, although I lived with my mother, my father also lived in the Bronx on Seymour Avenue. Now, this is notable because his house was a block away from Gun Hill Road, where one of the original Golden Krust locations exists. Needless to say, anytime I visited him, I completely OD’ed on beef patties and oxtail, man. Until this day, I can’t get enough of their food, fam.

Now, outside of my little worldview, Golden Krust has grown into a very successful business. Hawthorne took his family’s patty recipe and created an empire, bruh. As of now, the company has over 100 locations across various states. So, on face value, it seems like everything is going well, son. However; as we’re now learning, it appears that Hawthorne was dealing with a lot of pressure, man.

Apparently, Hawthorne was facing massive tax debt AND was being sued by Robert Wray, a former employee. Now, according to Wray’s suit, he was never paid overtime over an 11-year period. From what I understand, relatives are now stating that Hawthorne began behaving oddly after confessing his financial troubles to them. All in all, everything came to a head on Saturday when he was found dead in his Bronx factory from a gunshot wound to the head. Keeping it a buck, it’s a really fucked up way to go, fam.

Look, in situations like this, I try not to judge people, bruh. However; if Hawthorne’s suicide was over his financial issues, then death doesn’t really solve the problem, son. I mean, the IRS is still going to hit up his company for their money and Wray’s lawsuit will most likely continue. So, even though he’s out of the picture, the problems still remain, man. Furthermore, in addition to grieving his loss, now his loved ones are left holding the bag, fam.

In the end, this is just a sad circumstance, bruh. Ultimately, suicide is always an unfortunate situation, son. By and by, I feel for his family, his friends and the people who worked with him. Being real, I want to say Rest In Peace to Hawthorne, but I find it hard to think of peace when someone dies in such a manner, man. Anyway, I hope all of Golden Krust’s issues get resolved and I hope everyone involved is able to move on, fam. That is all. LC out.

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Wesley Snipes Could Learn From Donald Trump

Honestly, I just want everyone reading this to know something: Donald Trump is a genius. He’s a genius for successfully fooling a section of the country into believing he’s a genius. The greatest trick the Devil ever pulled was convincing the world he didn’t exist. The second greatest trick the Devil ever pulled was convincing idiots that Trump is a master of the tax code. At this point, I’m positive I’m in the Twilight Zone. However; there’s only one thing I want to know: how can I avoid paying my federal income taxes too?

On the real, do I even need to give a summary about Donald Trump’s taxes? Does anyone out there watch the news or get Google alerts? In any case, three pages of Trump’s 1995 tax return was leaked by the New York Times. From there, the whole world temporarily stopped. Well, not really, but c’mon son, let me exaggerate for a second. Moving on, it was discovered that Trump claimed losses of $916 million for the year. Now, for those wondering, that number is NOT a typo. The “business genius” running for president loss close to a billion dollars in ONE YEAR! Because of his ineptitude, he was granted the opportunity to avoid paying federal taxes for the next 18 years. This means that when Hillary Clinton claimed Trump doesn’t pay his taxes during the debate, she was telling the truth, son. The ugly, God-awful truth.

Now, for some reason, GOP surrogates are using this tidbit to “prove” Trump’s greatness. In their eyes, he “brilliantly” took advantage of our country’s tax codes to secure wealth for himself. The funny part is, they never seem to mention the fact HE LOST A BILLION DOLLARS IN THE FIRST PLACE! To put this into perspective, Alan Cole of the Tax Foundation tweeted that Trump, by himself, was responsible for 1.9% of ALL net operating losses that year. Wait, can I rephrase that for a second? One man, the GOP nominee for president, represented nearly 2% of ALL company losses in the ENTIRE United States. What part of being a “genius” is that? If my mom sent me to the supermarket with $20, I couldn’t come home without the groceries or the money and be considered smart, man. Instead, I’d probably catch a swift leather belt to the rear end. Come the fuck on, son!

Ultimately, I just want to know, what the hell did Wesley Snipes, Ronald Isley and Fat Joe go to jail for? How are people going to prison on tax evasion charges when the potential next president hasn’t paid his for most of my lifetime? Hell, even Wesley wanted to know the answer to that question. He hilariously tweeted that the IRS hates on the Daywalker every April and that we need to “Make America Blade Again.” All jokes aside, Wesley has a point. This dude spent three years in prison while Trump is now one step closer to the nuclear codes. Man, the game is all fucked up out here, son.

In the end, there’s nothing else to say, man. All I can think about is how much further my money could go if I didn’t have to pay any attention to the IRS. Can Uncle Sam let me cook for the next 18 years too? I mean, do I have to lose all of my money first? If so, I’ll empty out my checking account today! Just let me know, son. Just let me know. Good day.

LC’s Review Of Last Night’s Debate F*ckery

Man, my head hurts, bro. Like, I’m fairly positive my brain cells are on fire right now. What the hell did I watch last night, son? Did a presidential debate actually occur or did we all watch the premiere of a new VH1 reality show? All I know is, during the course of last night’s shenanigans between Hillary Clinton and Donald Trump, I hugged my sons because this truly might be the end of days. With that being said, I’ve decided to reluctantly give everyone my review of last night’s debate, bullet point style.

1. Lester Holt Got Treated Like A Punk Bitch: Bruh, how bad of a moderator was Lester Holt? Look, I’ll always support the Black man when it comes to Dateline or the Nightly News. However; he needs to never, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever moderate another debate. He never had control of the situation, son. Both candidates, ESPECIALLY Trump, frequently went over time, Holt never stopped Trump during the copious amount of times he interrupted Clinton AND Trump even interrupted him. At one point, Trump literally told Holt to wait while he rebutted a comment Clinton made. All I can say is, Holt definitely came out of this with his lip busted and reputation mangled.

2. Trump Would’ve Interrupted God Himself: Look, this dude Donald Trump has no couth whatsoever. While I’ve already mentioned the number of times he interrupted Holt, the real victim here was Clinton. During the first 26 minutes of the debate alone, Trump interrupted Clinton 25 times. 25 fucking times, man! Now, I’m no brain surgeon, but I’m pretty sure that’s not how a debate works. What the hell is the point of time limits if Trump is just going to talk whenever he feels like it? By the way, I hope Trump understands, simply blurting out words like “lies” doesn’t actually disprove any of the points Clinton made. For example, he claimed she lied about him saying global warming was an invention of the Chinese, but lo and behold, the internet found his tweet from 2012 saying exactly that. Foolishness, I say.

3. Trump’s Views On Race Relations Are Frightening: In regards to this bullet point, all I have to say is Stop and Frisk. When asked about how he would improve race relations in this country, Trump mentioned the need for more “law and order” in minority communities. Taking it a step further, he then suggested instating Stop and Frisk across the nation. Here’s the problem, though: A DISTRICT COURT JUDGE DEEMED THE PRACTICE UNCONSTITUTIONAL! A number of studies showed the method was racially biased toward stopping Black and Hispanic people. Speaking as someone who’s been stopped more than once due to this bullshit tactic, I can attest to the fact it’s highly prejudicial to minorities. Someone, please get this man the fuck out of here.

4. Trump Admitted Some Terrible Things About Himself: Now, for just one moment, let’s talk about taxes and the housing market. First, Clinton brought up the fact Trump hadn’t paid federal taxes during certain periods of time. Instead of denying it, he said it’s because he was “smart.” Next, Clinton stated that Trump was in favor of the 2008 housing market crash since it gave him the opportunity to buy more property. In response to that, Trump called it “good business.” So, let me get this straight, son. The man running for president doesn’t pay the IRS AND was in favor of the crash that contributed to the worst depression since the 1930s? IS ANYONE ELSE OUT THERE PAYING ATTENTION TO THIS SHIT?! I didn’t even mention the fact he basically admitted he doesn’t properly pay his own employees. Son, seriously, what the fuck is going on around here? How is Donald fucking Trump the Republican nominee for president? What the hell is wrong with the GOP?!

5. Trump Is Absolutely Allergic To Facts: In regards to the “birther movement” he spearheaded, Trump said he let the issue go when President Obama released his birth certificate in 2011. However; he was STILL talking about whether or not Obama was born in this country as of THIS YEAR! When Holt brought this fact up, Trump flat out refused to answer the question. Instead, he claimed credit for making Obama prove he was an American. Next, he blamed Obama and Clinton for the “power vacuum” that created ISIS, ignoring the fact that the agreement that removed the troops from Iraq was signed by George W. Bush. Hell, I already wrote about this in a previous post. Lastly, I literally heard this dude say he’s never “given much thought” to NATO. How in God’s name can Trump run this country when he’s not even familiar with our allies, man? His campaign is mind-bogglingly stupid and I have a really heard time figuring out how we got here as a nation.

Ok, I think that about does it for me today. Look, I’m still no huge fan of Clinton, but good Lord, Donald Trump is a maniac, son. For the life of me, I CANNOT understand how the polls are so close. If anyone needs proof the general public is idiotic, just examine the people who support this man. The sad part is, regardless of what happened last night, Trump’s base will probably never leave him. With that being said, I can’t stress enough how important it is to vote. Otherwise, everyone needs to start preparing for the Zombie Apocalypse. Armageddon is about to reach America really soon, son. Good day, I think.