Enough Of The Birkin Bag Talk

So, I won’t lie, son. On the real, Black people really annoy me sometimes on social media. Like, I swear, we pick the STUPIDEST fucking topics to argue over, man. Shit, with all of the REAL shenanigans going on in the world, Birkin bags are the reason for a civil war? All I know is, this bag debate has showcased a number of problematic ideals, fam. The way I see it, our priorities are ALL fucked up, bruh.

Ok, for those who missed it, a faction of minorities are arguing about Birkin bags on Instagram, Facebook and Twitter. Now, thanks to celebrities like Cardi B, Offset, Saweetie, Quavo, Yaya Mayweather and Queen Naija, there’s a sentiment going around that if men aren’t paying their women’s bills and buying them gifts like Birkin bags, then those dudes aren’t worth their salt. Furthermore, any statements to the contrary is a sign that these aforementioned men are “broke.”

Now, before I continue, let me preface this conversation. Listen, I’m a married man who’s been with the same woman for 12 years. With that being said, I have no idea how much money I’ve spent on her. Hell, I have no idea how much money she’s spent on me. Anyway, I pay bills, buy gifts and do plenty of things that men are “supposed” to do. But, in reality, my wife is my equal and we just do what works best for us. In my eyes, too many people online are adhering to gender “rules” and don’t actually understand what it takes to be in a relationship. Instead, their just playing a role to appear a certain way to other people on the internet.

Look, if a man can afford to buy his woman an expensive gift, then do it. No harm, no foul, brethren. However, it’s this “expectation” that throws me off, son. Like, my lady was with me when I was down and she’s with me when I’m up. I was with her when she was down and I’m with her when she’s up. Real talk, we mutually benefit from each other’s success. Frankly, she adds value to my life that can’t be monetarily measured. So, I have no issue buying her whatever she wants. But, I simply don’t believe in anyone dropping money JUST to secure someone else’s presence. Man or woman, everyone should have to prove their worth, man. And by worth, I don’t mean “net worth,” fam. All I can say is, money can’t buy a strong foundation. Plain and simple. Funds absolutely help, but there’s A LOT more to making a union work than that. Then again, I guess some people would rather “cry in a Phantom.”

Also, I want to talk specifically about those Birkin bags. Now, do Black people realize that Hermès makes these bags? The same Hermès that wouldn’t even allow Oprah Winfrey in their store back in 2005? For God‘s sake, we minorities LOVE cozying up to predominantly White companies that don’t give two shits about us. The truth is, this company does not deserve the publicity and THIS much of our attention. The sad part is, we never get this passionate about Black and Brown-owned brands. All in all, this conversation is a disserve to us in more ways than one.

In the end, there’s nothing else that needs to be said, man. Ultimately, the Birkin hoopla needs to die, fam. By and by, most of the people who are arguing can’t even afford the damn bag, bruh. At the end of the day, there are WAY more important topics to consider, son. With that being said, go vote, brethren. That is all. LC out.

Travis Scott Needs To Give Christian Adam These Hands

So, let me just skip the formalities, son. I mean, if anyone is even remotely familiar with Travis Scott or Kylie Jenner, they’d be aware of the “cheating scandal,” man. Now, I put “cheating scandal” in quotations because the infidelity never occurred, fam. As a matter of fact, the picture floating around that allegedly showed Scott with another woman was all a ruse, bruh. In actuality, a dude named Christian Adam, also known as ChristianAdamG, pretended to be Scott as part of a “social experiment.” All I know is, if I were Scott, I’d have to lay holy hands on Adam, folks.

Ok, before I continue, let me try to explain what Adam’s intentions were. Now, according to him, he wanted to show everyone how gullible the internet is. Anyway, to prove his point, he colored his braids to match Scott’s, got up on a balcony with some thick chick and let social media do the rest. Next, TMZ took the picture and ran with it. From there, I started seeing everybody repost the pic and comment about how Scott was wilin’ in these streets. Hell, even I saw the photo and was like “welp, they caught my guy slipping, son.” So, all in all, Adam’s experiment worked, man. Frankly, he successfully proved that the internet will run with anything without fact-checking, fam.

Moving on, as a dude with a wife and kids, I would be LIVID if I were Scott, bruh. Look, I know he and Jenner are showing a united front, but I guarantee he had to answer some questions at home, son. The way I see it, if another person fraudulently causes turmoil in my household, that person needs to be put in a rear-naked choke. Like, don’t conduct no experiments at my expense, man. Real talk, women almost NEVER believe the “it wasn’t me” excuse, fam. Listen, it ain’t work for Shaggy and it damn sure wouldn’t work for Scott. Keeping it a buck, this situation is one of the rare times when “this isn’t what it looks like” is actually applicable, brethren.

In the end, bravo, Adam. Ultimately, he got his point across, son. By and by, the internet is definitely as stupid as he thought it was. At the end of the day, he better be careful, man. On the real, he shouldn’t be surprised if he starts to see random fists thrown in his direction, fam. All I can say is, that’s the risk he took by messing with another man’s family. That is all. LC out.