Protect Soulja Boy At All Costs

So, I’m going to keep this post short, son. The fact of the matter is, Soulja Boy is a national treasure and should be treated as such. I mean, “Crank That (Soulja Boy)” hit me on a philosophical level, man. All jokes aside, if anyone’s in a bad mood, just yell “watch me yuuuuu” and witness the world brighten up. With all of that being said, I’m thoroughly enjoying all of Soulja’s recent shenanigans, fam. All in all, the man just wants his respect, bruh.

Ok, for those who missed it, Soulja Boy has been on a tear, son. First, he took to Instagram to proclaim that he had the biggest comeback in 2018. Frankly, he wasn’t trying to hear shit about Tyga or Meek Mill, man. Next, he went to The Breakfast Club to further dig into his bag, fam. Shit, who cares about Tyga’s collabo with Offset? Big Draco has MAD records with Migos. Who cares about Meek’s former beef with Drake? Soulja went to war with Chris Brown, bruh. Like, what else do folks need to know, brethren? All I can say is, Famous Dex better lay low. He doesn’t want that Stacks On Deck smoke, people.

In the end, I don’t know what else to say, son. Ultimately, this post pales in comparison to Soulja’s actual rants, son. By and by, everyone can check out ALL of the footage below. Real talk, I made my wife watch his IG rant last night, man. At the end of the day, that’s how hilarious it was, fam. Anyway, here’s some tomfoolery to lighten up everyone’s Friday. That is all. LC out.

P.S. I know I’m being an ass, but Soulja Boy really did give a lot of new artists the internet blueprint, son. Hell, he’s legitimately the first rapper that I remember blowing up online, man. So, all hail Big Draco! Good day.

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A Formerly ‘Ain’t Shit’ Dude’s Advice To Offset

So, let me keep it a buck, son. In order to make a point about this Cardi B and Offset situation, I’m going to throw myself under the bus. In any case, I just hope that anybody in Offset’s position can learn from my past mistakes. All I can say is, I’d bet money that his public campaign to get Cardi back is actually hurting him, man. The way I see it, Offset needs to take a much different approach, fam.

Ok, before I continue, let me outline my qualifications on this topic. Now, back in 2011, I was wilin’ in these streets, bruh. Anyway, despite the fact that I was a new dad and in a committed relationship, I was frequently involved in shenanigans that I had no business being a part of, son. Moving on, I ended up doing some shit with a woman who wasn’t my lady. Needless to say, I ended up in all of the doghouses, man. However, instead of immediately pushing her to take me back, I went a slightly different route, fam.

Now, as difficult as it was for me to do, I gave her space, bruh. I gave her room to make a decision for herself. No public showboating and no persistent pressure. Shit, instead of pining for her on social media, I legit disappeared from Facebook and Twitter for like 3 months. I made it a point to be present without being overbearing. So, that meant getting cursed out regularly. That meant getting ignored for days on end. That meant facing the possibility that she might not come back. All in all, the choice was in her hands and I wasn’t going to force her to make it.

Look, the point of that story is to tell Offset to back off a little. Ok, yes, it definitely seems like he wants his wife back. But, all of this attention may backfire, bruh. Hell, she basically said as much when she said “I told you I don’t like surprises” on Instagram. On the real, if she feels like she’s being bombarded on all angles, she might end up pulling away even more. The truth is, Offset needs to let her make a decision for herself. Real talk, that’s the only real chance he has, son.

In the end, don’t show up to any more concerts, Offset. Ultimately, he doesn’t want his woman to feel smothered. By and by, it’s insanely hard to loosen the grip while also trying to regain a connection. However, that may be his only real move, man. At the end of the day, the ball is in Cardi’s court, fam. Allow her to call the play. It might just work, bruh. That is all. LC out.

Travis Scott Needs To Give Christian Adam These Hands

So, let me just skip the formalities, son. I mean, if anyone is even remotely familiar with Travis Scott or Kylie Jenner, they’d be aware of the “cheating scandal,” man. Now, I put “cheating scandal” in quotations because the infidelity never occurred, fam. As a matter of fact, the picture floating around that allegedly showed Scott with another woman was all a ruse, bruh. In actuality, a dude named Christian Adam, also known as ChristianAdamG, pretended to be Scott as part of a “social experiment.” All I know is, if I were Scott, I’d have to lay holy hands on Adam, folks.

Ok, before I continue, let me try to explain what Adam’s intentions were. Now, according to him, he wanted to show everyone how gullible the internet is. Anyway, to prove his point, he colored his braids to match Scott’s, got up on a balcony with some thick chick and let social media do the rest. Next, TMZ took the picture and ran with it. From there, I started seeing everybody repost the pic and comment about how Scott was wilin’ in these streets. Hell, even I saw the photo and was like “welp, they caught my guy slipping, son.” So, all in all, Adam’s experiment worked, man. Frankly, he successfully proved that the internet will run with anything without fact-checking, fam.

Moving on, as a dude with a wife and kids, I would be LIVID if I were Scott, bruh. Look, I know he and Jenner are showing a united front, but I guarantee he had to answer some questions at home, son. The way I see it, if another person fraudulently causes turmoil in my household, that person needs to be put in a rear-naked choke. Like, don’t conduct no experiments at my expense, man. Real talk, women almost NEVER believe the “it wasn’t me” excuse, fam. Listen, it ain’t work for Shaggy and it damn sure wouldn’t work for Scott. Keeping it a buck, this situation is one of the rare times when “this isn’t what it looks like” is actually applicable, brethren.

In the end, bravo, Adam. Ultimately, he got his point across, son. By and by, the internet is definitely as stupid as he thought it was. At the end of the day, he better be careful, man. On the real, he shouldn’t be surprised if he starts to see random fists thrown in his direction, fam. All I can say is, that’s the risk he took by messing with another man’s family. That is all. LC out.

I Don’t Know If I Believe This Dwight Howard Story

Now, let me begin this post by saying that I don’t care if Dwight Howard is gay or not. I don’t care if he’s bisexual or if he gets down with transgender women. All I know is, I don’t want that dude on my basketball team. In any case, Howard’s name is being dragged through the mud because of a story by Masin Elijè. Apparently, according to Elijè, Howard is his ex-boyfriend. Furthermore, Elijè took it upon himself to “out” Howard due to alleged threats of violence. With all of that being said, I have some real doubts about Elijè’s story, son.

Ok, for those who missed it, Elijè is claiming that he had a relationship with Howard. Now, based on his story, their situation ended because of Howard’s infidelity and possible attraction to transgender women. From there, I’ve read some other shit about sex parties and allegations that Howard’s pastor threatened Elijè’s life. The word is, all of this has transpired because he wouldn’t sign an NDA about his time with Howard. Look, all of this could very well be true, man. But, based on the person telling the story, I might have to call shenanigans, fam.

Listen, Elijè is no stranger to the bullshit, bruh. Just last year, both Elijè and Rubi Rose tried to run the same scam on Playboi Carti. After Rose and Carti broke up, she alleged that Carti was messing around with Elijè. Anyway, Elijè tried to put out some DM’s to corroborate the story and most people believe they were fabricated. Fast forward to now and her DM’s with Howard also look shaky. For one, Elijè’s responses are missing the normal text bubbles that appear in Instagram conversations. So, they appear to be doctored as hell, son. All I can say is, we don’t believe Elijè, he needs more people.

In the end, who cares if Howard is gay, man. Ultimately, that ain’t any of our business, fam. Frankly, all we need to know is that he’s a trash NBA player. Ok, yeah, he was dominant at one point in time, but that time is long gone, bruh. By and by, some of the “hurt butt” jokes are funny, but falsely outing someone is bullshit, son. Hell, even legitimately outing someone is bullshit, folks. At the end of the day, that’s not another person’s call to make. The way I see it, Elijè better be telling the truth, people. If not, I hope Howard sues him for erythang. Not “everything,” but erythang. That is all. LC out.

Thanks For Supporting My Music

So, since Thanksgiving is this week, instead of tripping on the historical fuckery of the Pilgrims, I’ve decided to talk about what I’m thankful for. With that being said, I want to say “thank you” to every family member and friend who has aided my musical journey. Over the last year, I’ve been back on the right path, and over the last two months, the pace has accelerated. All in all, I don’t take anyone’s support for granted, son.

Ok, as a lot of folks may know, since early 2017, I’ve been putting out new records. Now, from March to December, I’ve released a total of 16 songs as part of my New Music Fridays series. Fast forward to September of this year, I’ve returned to performing onstage. Since September 8th, I’ve had a total of five shows, including one at the legendary SOB’s. Needless to say, I’ve enjoyed every minute of it, man. In any case, none of this would’ve been possible if my people didn’t help me. So, I couldn’t let this time pass without giving them my full gratitude. Frankly, all of these fine folks are helping me live out my dream.

In the end, I don’t know what else to say, fam. Ultimately, this is the happiest I’ve felt in years. By and by, something happens to the spirit when a dream is deferred. At the end of the day, I’m glad I’m out of that rut, bruh. Anyway, I love everyone who’s gotten me to this point and this is only the beginning, son. As of right now, I have some big things on the horizon. First, I’m going to be re-releasing my The Charlemagne Renaissance album on Apple Music, Spotify and Tidal. Side note, folks can vibe out to it on SoundCloud for the time being. In any case, be on the lookout for that. Also, I have more shows in the very near future. The time is now and I want everybody to take this ride with me. Thanks a lot! LC out.

P.S. Shout-out to Scott Morris and all of my brethren at Mor.Bookings for holding the boy down. They’re definitely the plug that I’m not going to run off on. That is all.

P.P.S. Everyone go follow @lcharlemagnenyc on Facebook, Twitter and Instagram. That’s where I make all of my music-related posts. Yessir! Good day.

Umm, I Love Jill Scott

Disclaimer: My wife knows I love Jill Scott. Like, I looooove Jill Scott. So, don’t judge me, son. I’m going to be out here wilin’ today.

Ok, let’s just skip the formalities, man. Real talk, if anyone has ever listened to Jill Scott’s music, they’d already know she’s a freak freak, fam. With that being said, the video circulating around social media shouldn’t be a surprise, bruh. Regardless, the creep in me gives her two thumbs up, folks. I mean, come on, people! This is Grade A entertainment, brethren! All jokes aside, I didn’t need another reason to crush on Jill Scott. However, she definitely gave me one.

Now, for those who missed it, Scott is out here letting her freak flag fly. Apparently, at a (recent?) show, Scott gave the crowd a preview of her fellatio game. Like, she went through ALL of the steps on her microphone, son. She started with no hands, THEN she hit the two-hand pepper mill, THEN she gave some love to the balls and THEN she let the mic finish on her face. Side note, if anyone thinks I’m being crude, just watch the video, man. I didn’t make up any of this, fam. In any case, her simulation has opposing opinions on Facebook, Twitter and Instagram.

Look, let’s be honest here, bruh. On the real, if anybody is taken aback by Scott’s actions, then they must’ve never heard a word she’s sang, son. Hell, before I continue, I want everyone to read some of her lyrics below:

Love slipped from my lips, dripped down my chin and landed in his lap…

Creamy lava landed on my skin and neck, blended with my all day Chanel scent…

Flip side, stomach meets sheets, he plows inside as if he’s making beats…

Listen, the moral of the story is, Scott’s BEEN with the shits, man. Frankly, that’s one of the main reasons why I’ve had a crush on her for so long, fam. Shit, her musical talents are a given, bruh. Plainly put, she has one of the best singing voices ever. However, she’s also freaky as a muhfucka, dawg. For God‘s sake, who doesn’t love that, man?!

In the end, long live Jill Scott! Ultimately, this video proves that she wasn’t bullshitting in them lyrics, son. By and by, Scott is exactly who she said she was, fam. At the end of the day, I’m here for all of it, bruh. Now, let me go holla at my wife and apologize for my public thirst. Good day. LC out.

Enough Of The Goofy Sh*t, Nicki Minaj & Cardi B

So, let me keep it a buck, son. At this point, I don’t care who’s right, who’s wrong or who wrote what bar to what song. Frankly, Nicki Minaj and Cardi B need to knock off the goofy shit already. On the real, both of these women are successful, so why do they feel the need to continuously snipe at each other? I mean, honestly, what the fuck are they even fighting about, man? Seriously, as ugly as this feud has gotten, is it even based on anything real? Look, there’s enough room in the Rap game for the two of them. All in all, they need to just make music and leave the fuckery to 50 Cent and Ja Rule.

Ok, I won’t lie, fam. Real talk, I have no intention of outlining the details of the latest round between Nicki and Cardi. Hell, I’ll leave that shit to Pitchfork, bruh. In any case, all folks need to know is, the two rappers came for each other’s jugular veins on Twitter and Instagram last night. All I know is, I can’t keep track of who’s lying, who got punched by who or who was offered some fashion deal first. Shit, in the grand scheme of things, none of that fucking matters, son. From my vantage point, Nicki and Cardi need to just focus on themselves. Regardless of who people think is right, they both look nuts for engaging in such a manner. Like, don’t they have songs to record and shows to perform? Who the fuck has time for this nonsense, man?

In the end, I have nothing else to say, fam. Ultimately, Nicki and Cardi need to cut the foolishness out, bruh. By and by, Nicki’s place is already solidified and Cardi is as hot as any rapper has even been. At the end of the day, both of these women are doing the damn thing. So, they need to stop worrying about one another and get back to business. Or just scrap it out one time. Yes, I’m a hypocrite, son. A good 5-minute tussle will settle all differences, man. That is all. LC out.