Umm, I Love Jill Scott

Disclaimer: My wife knows I love Jill Scott. Like, I looooove Jill Scott. So, don’t judge me, son. I’m going to be out here wilin’ today.

Ok, let’s just skip the formalities, man. Real talk, if anyone has ever listened to Jill Scott’s music, they’d already know she’s a freak freak, fam. With that being said, the video circulating around social media shouldn’t be a surprise, bruh. Regardless, the creep in me gives her two thumbs up, folks. I mean, come on, people! This is Grade A entertainment, brethren! All jokes aside, I didn’t need another reason to crush on Jill Scott. However, she definitely gave me one.

Now, for those who missed it, Scott is out here letting her freak flag fly. Apparently, at a (recent?) show, Scott gave the crowd a preview of her fellatio game. Like, she went through ALL of the steps on her microphone, son. She started with no hands, THEN she hit the two-hand pepper mill, THEN she gave some love to the balls and THEN she let the mic finish on her face. Side note, if anyone thinks I’m being crude, just watch the video, man. I didn’t make up any of this, fam. In any case, her simulation has opposing opinions on Facebook, Twitter and Instagram.

Look, let’s be honest here, bruh. On the real, if anybody is taken aback by Scott’s actions, then they must’ve never heard a word she’s sang, son. Hell, before I continue, I want everyone to read some of her lyrics below:

Love slipped from my lips, dripped down my chin and landed in his lap…

Creamy lava landed on my skin and neck, blended with my all day Chanel scent…

Flip side, stomach meets sheets, he plows inside as if he’s making beats…

Listen, the moral of the story is, Scott’s BEEN with the shits, man. Frankly, that’s one of the main reasons why I’ve had a crush on her for so long, fam. Shit, her musical talents are a given, bruh. Plainly put, she has one of the best singing voices ever. However, she’s also freaky as a muhfucka, dawg. For God‘s sake, who doesn’t love that, man?!

In the end, long live Jill Scott! Ultimately, this video proves that she wasn’t bullshitting in them lyrics, son. By and by, Scott is exactly who she said she was, fam. At the end of the day, I’m here for all of it, bruh. Now, let me go holla at my wife and apologize for my public thirst. Good day. LC out.

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Enough Of The Goofy Sh*t, Nicki Minaj & Cardi B

So, let me keep it a buck, son. At this point, I don’t care who’s right, who’s wrong or who wrote what bar to what song. Frankly, Nicki Minaj and Cardi B need to knock off the goofy shit already. On the real, both of these women are successful, so why do they feel the need to continuously snipe at each other? I mean, honestly, what the fuck are they even fighting about, man? Seriously, as ugly as this feud has gotten, is it even based on anything real? Look, there’s enough room in the Rap game for the two of them. All in all, they need to just make music and leave the fuckery to 50 Cent and Ja Rule.

Ok, I won’t lie, fam. Real talk, I have no intention of outlining the details of the latest round between Nicki and Cardi. Hell, I’ll leave that shit to Pitchfork, bruh. In any case, all folks need to know is, the two rappers came for each other’s jugular veins on Twitter and Instagram last night. All I know is, I can’t keep track of who’s lying, who got punched by who or who was offered some fashion deal first. Shit, in the grand scheme of things, none of that fucking matters, son. From my vantage point, Nicki and Cardi need to just focus on themselves. Regardless of who people think is right, they both look nuts for engaging in such a manner. Like, don’t they have songs to record and shows to perform? Who the fuck has time for this nonsense, man?

In the end, I have nothing else to say, fam. Ultimately, Nicki and Cardi need to cut the foolishness out, bruh. By and by, Nicki’s place is already solidified and Cardi is as hot as any rapper has even been. At the end of the day, both of these women are doing the damn thing. So, they need to stop worrying about one another and get back to business. Or just scrap it out one time. Yes, I’m a hypocrite, son. A good 5-minute tussle will settle all differences, man. That is all. LC out.

Stop Hating, Floyd Mayweather

Man, I swear that attention actually matters more to Floyd Mayweather than money. I mean, anytime the spotlight is on someone else, he finds a way to weasel himself into the situation. On the real, for someone who’s had so much success, I really don’t understand why he always feels the need to be so damn petty. Like, regardless of how people may personally view him, he’s without question one of the greatest boxers ever. So, why won’t homie just shut the fuck up and ride off into the sunset?

Ok, for those who missed it, Mayweather has been doing a lot of fuckity-fuck shit lately. Well, let me be more specific, son. Real talk, he’s had an entire life of fuckity-fuck moments. Anyway, over the last view months, he’s been blatantly trying to steal Canelo Álvarez‘ shine. First, there was Mayweather’s out-of-the-blue announcement that he’s planning on fighting Manny Pacquiao again. Now, this random assertion came on the same day as the rematch between Canelo and Gennady Golovkin. Basically, Mayweather couldn’t let such a huge fight go down without throwing his name in the ring (pun intended).

Now, Mayweather wants to shit on Canelo’s new deal with DAZN. As previously reported, Canelo just signed a 5-year, 11-fight deal with the streaming service for $365 million. Essentially, he just signed the richest contract in sports history. In any case, instead of being happy for Canelo or simply minding his business, Mayweather took to Instagram to hate. He brought up the fact that he previously beat Canelo (while claiming that he’s a worse fighter than Conor McGregor) and bragged about his pay-per-view payouts. Listen, we all know that Mayweather made a lot of money and bested Canelo before. But, who the fuck was talking about that, man? Then, to make matters worse, he posted a picture of Oscar De La Hoya (former opponent/Canelo promoter) dressed in drag. For what? For God‘s sake, no one was even talking about Mayweather, fam!

In the end, Mayweather should just take his money and go home, bruh. Ultimately, no one wants to see him act like a hoe ass hoe anymore. In addition, no one wants to see him box Khabib Nurmagomedov. By and by, he’s had his time in the sun, man. At the end of the day, he’s just out here looking like a clown, son. Then again, this isn’t the first time he’s been out here looking like a clown, fam. Frankly, he may be better at that than boxing, brethren. That is all. LC out.

Uh, Shout-out To Taylor Swift

So, I won’t lie, son. It’s super easy to hate on Taylor Swift, man. I mean, she’s made a career out of dissing ex-boyfriends and being fake humble, fam. All I can say is, that ain’t the type of vibe I regularly endorse, bruh. In any case, I have to give credit where credit is due. Normally, when someone has a platform as huge as hers, they steer clear of ALL political discussions. However, instead of running from her influence, Swift has decided to use her name in a positive way. All in all, salute to Swift, brethren!

Ok, for those who missed it, Swift took to Instagram to talk about the upcoming midterm elections. Now, while her tax bracket might suggest some Republican ties, she actually took the time to endorse some Democratic candidates. Then again, it’s not necessarily about whether she’s a Democrat or a Republican. Frankly, she simply doesn’t bang with Marsha Blackburn, a GOP candidate running for Senate in Tennessee. Anyway, instead of just being a contrarian for the sake of it, Swift actually explained why she doesn’t rock with Blackburn. For one, she pointed to Blackburn’s views on women and gay rights. Furthermore, Swift actually brought up systemic racism in America, something I NEVER thought I’d see from her.

Moving on, Swift gave her support for Phil Bredesen for the Senate and Jim Cooper for the House of Representatives. Needless to say, a lot of people, including myself, were shocked that she made such a public declaration. Shit, in 2018, who would’ve thought that Swift would be out here talking about racism while Kanye West is busy giving Donald Trump a dick-flute solo? *Sigh* These are strange fucking times we live in, son. Strange times indeed.

In the end, shout-out to Taylor Swift, man. Hell, even though I’ve never given her any props before, I guess there’s a first time for everything, fam. Ultimately, I agree most with one point she made: “vote based on who most closely represents your values.” By and by, that doesn’t have shit to do with party lines, bruh. Now, everybody, get out there and vote on November 6! That is all. LC out.

I’m Convinced That Kawhi Leonard Isn’t A Person Person

Look, I’m going to keep this post short today, son. Frankly, I’m just here to laugh at Kawhi Leonard‘s laugh, man. I mean, a number of us have long speculated about Leonard’s personality, fam. Namely, because the guy doesn’t say shit, bruh! With all of that being said, his NBA Media Day press conference was fucking hilarious, folks! On God, I’m thoroughly convinced that Leonard is not a real human being, brethren. All I know is, that dude is either an alien or a functioning demonstration of artificial intelligence.

Ok, before I continue, I want everyone to watch this Instagram clip, son. Listen, never in the history of ever have I heard a “person” laugh like that, man. On the real, that awkward chuckle is so funny that I’m dying as I write this, fam. Like, there’s so much to take from that entire clip, bruh. First, no “fun guy” has ever described himself as a fun guy. Shit, I can’t imagine going to any social functions with a dude who’s face barely moves, folks. Hell, to that end, watch this YouTube video from his time with the San Antonio Spurs. For God’s sake, the man laughed and his face didn’t budge an inch, people! I swear, he’s a fucking robot!

In the end, I’m just here for the jokes, son. Look, whether he means to be or not, Kawhi Leonard is a hilarious fucking dude, man. Ultimately, his personality is either going to be endearing or a nightmare for the Toronto Raptors. Either way, I’m here for the shenanigans, fam. That is all. LC out.

What The F*ck, Cardi B & Nicki Minaj?!

So, I won’t lie, son. On the real, both Cardi B AND Nicki Minaj need to be called out for unnecessary fuckery. At this point, what are they even beefing about, man? I mean, is it about who’s more successful? Is it about who raps better? Is it about who looks better? Well, let me tell them both something: NOBODY FUCKING CARES, FAM! Damn, both of these women are living their best lives but can’t seem to leave the dumb shit alone. All in all, New York Fashion Week is not the fucking time to throw hands, bruh!

Ok, to be clear, there are 80 million stories about why Cardi confronted Nicki at a Harper’s Bazaar party. According to Cardi, Nicki said something negative about Kulture, her daughter with Offset, and she wanted to lay hands on Nicki. Now, Nicki denies this but it seems as if she did like a tweet that said something disparaging about Kulture. In addition, Nicki previously dragged Stormi, daughter of Travis Scott and Kylie Jenner, into an argument about album sales. So, Nicki isn’t the most reliable source here, son.

In any case, Cardi thought it was a brilliant idea to confront Nicki at this NYFW party. Look, I have kids, so I understand wanting to molly-whop someone who slighted them. However, not at a fucking formal event, man! For God‘s sake, Cardi was wearing a damn Dolce & Gabbana dress! Let’s just say that ain’t the most functional outfit to scrap in, fam. On the real, both of these women are fucking wrong, bruh. Nicki is wrong for liking some bullshit on Twitter and Cardi is wrong for pressing the issue at this public event. Listen, these are grown fucking women, folks. They need to start acting like it.

In the end, I’m sick of hearing about this beef, son. Real talk, nothing positive has come out of this, man. Ultimately, Nicki looks like a bitter chick who’s mad that she finally has some commercial competition and Cardi looks like an uncontrollable wildcard who may block her blessings. At the end of the day, both women are too successful for this stupid shit, fam. By and by, they need to knock it the fuck off, bruh. Everybody loses here. That is all. LC out.

RIP Mac Miller

So, let me keep it a buck, son. Listen, I’m not about to sit here and pretend like I was a Mac Miller fan from day one. To be real, I became a fan of his music after he dropped his Macadelic mixtape in 2012. As a matter of fact, that mixtape along with his Watching Movies with the Sound Off album made me a believer, man. From there, I was onboard, fam. I was onboard for his clever quips, his production skills and his live instrumentation. With that being said, it’s a damn shame that he succumbed to his vices, bruh. All in all, Rest In Peace to Miller, folks.

Ok, for those who missed it, Mac Miller passed away on Friday. At only 26 years old, the Pittsburgh rapper died from an apparent drug overdose. Now, for anyone who’s followed his story, he’s had a long history with abuse, son. Apparently, his drug use is one of the main reasons why Ariana Grande left him. In any case, it seemed like he was trying to deal with his issues, man. I mean, judging from his new Swimming album, Miller knew he had some demons to deal with, fam. Because of this, it’s extra sad that his internal strife got the best of him, bruh.

Listen, I’ve said this before and I’ll say it again, son: everybody needs to leave drugs the fuck alone, man! I mean, cotdamn, fam! How many more people have to die before we realize this shit is for the birds, bruh? Honestly, when does addiction ever end positively, folks? Seriously, the only favorable outcome is when users quit the shit, brethren. At this point, I can’t even count the number of musicians who have succumbed to illicit substances. All I wanna know is, when will enough be enough, people? When will everyone understand that this never ends well for anyone?

In the end, RIP to Mac Miller, son. Ultimately, he died waaaaaaay too fucking young, man. By and by, he had every reason to live, fam. Look, despite everything he’s already accomplished, he still could’ve done a lot more, bruh. At the end of the day, no one’s life is over at 26, folks. *Sigh* Fuck, man! LC out.

P.S. Real talk, everyone needs to leave Ariana Grande alone, son. Shit, berating her in her Instagram comments makes no sense, people. Look, I’m a Miller fan, but his death isn’t her fault, man. Now, I wouldn’t be surprised if their breakup had an adverse affect on him. But, she didn’t put drugs in his system, fam. Listen, we can be sad about Miller’s death and still hold him accountable for his actions, bruh. So, quit the nonsense, folks. That is all.