Don’t Ruin ‘Avengers: Endgame’ For Me!

So, I played myself, son. Like, I waited too long to get Avengers: Endgame tickets, man. In any case, I have to wait until next week to get my IMAX 3D experience, fam. With that being said, I’d like to address all of my compatriots who are blessed to see the movie this weekend. From the bottom of my heart, DON’T RUIN THE FUCKING MOVIE FOR ME, BRUH!

On the real, I don’t have much to say, son. Frankly, I just know how social media works, man. Hell, most of the time, folks can’t WAIT to jump on Facebook, Twitter and Instagram to spoil shit. Keeping it a buck, just by writing this post, I bet a couple of dummies are going to try and fuck shit up for me. However, I’m imploring everyone to not be a dick, fam. Please allow me to cry from joy in my own time, bruh.

In the end, that’s all I’ve got, son. Ultimately, waiting a week to see this movie is making me siiiiiiick, man. By and by, I need Thanos in my life, fam. At the end of the day, I’m probably going to have to quit social media until next week, bruh. That’s probably the only way for me to be safe. Well, besides my friends who have my number. But, in that case, I can just assault them. Yeah, that sounds about right. That is all. LC out.

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Does Anyone Still F*ck With Kodak Black?

So, let me begin this post by saying that I’ve never been a Kodak Black fan, son. Like, never. I mean, even if we remove the real-life fuckery he’s always engaged in, I just can’t get into the music, man. In any case, his penchant for cooth-lessness re-emerged when he tried to shoot his shot at Lauren London. All in all, this ain’t the time for the bullshit, fam. Side note, I know “cooth-lessness” isn’t a word. But, it made perfect sense, right?

Ok, for those who missed it, Kodak is still out here being Kodak. Now, in light of Nipsey Hussle‘s death, Kodak thought it was a good idea to reveal his thoughts about London. So, according to his IG Live, he plans on giving London a year of “crying and shit” before he tries to holla. Look, Nip ain’t even in the ground yet and homie is already scheming on his woman. For God‘s sake, let the lady grieve in piece, bruh. Frankly, she ain’t got time to entertain Kodak’s tomfoolery. She has children to raise, son. That’s a hard enough job in and of itself, man.

Moving on, I don’t even know why I’m surprised, fam. Shit, Kodak has a long, long, loooooong history of nonsense, bruh. Like, didn’t he just get accused of rape… again? Seriously, what would it take for fans to acknowledge that their favorite artists might be trash? On the real, even if someone fucks with Kodak’s music, at what point do we say “nah, I’m off the bullshit”? In my eyes, dude consistently shows us who he is and we just let it slide. For the life of me, I don’t understand it, son.

In the end, it ain’t nothing for me to disregard Kodak, man. Ultimately, I was never on the wave to begin with, fam. By and by, disrespecting a widow should never be tolerated, bruh. Side note, rape should never be tolerated either, but folks just keep letting the allegations cook. Anyway, all love to Lauren London during her time of mourning. At the end of the day, she needs to be uplifted, not fetishized. That is all. LC out.

Will Smith Needs To Put Hands On August Alsina

So, I have an idea for Will Smith. Now, I know he’s in the middle of his Will Smith’s Bucket List show. Anyway, I truly believe he should add “beat a dude’s ass on camera” to the docket, son. I mean, he might really need to give August Alsina that work, man. Listen, as a husband myself, I wouldn’t even care about the truth, fam. The way I see it, insinuations of infidelity are enough for someone to catch these hands, elbows, knees and feet, bruh.

Ok, for those who missed it, Alsina may be out here wilin’, son. Now, the singer just dropped a new song/video called “Nunya.” On the track, he’s waxing poetic about a woman who isn’t giving him any action, but still asking about his sex life. Moving on, in the visuals, a text message is shown with him and a woman named Koren. Side note, this is notable because social media is alleging that Jada Pinkett Smith’s middle name is “Koren.” In any case, a GIF of Jada appears in the text thread and Alsina also sings “you’re just an actress putting on a show.”

Now, let me explain why Will needs to beat the brakes off of this dude. Look, if a guy I know smashed my wife, he needs to catch these hands. If a guy I know even makes it seem like he’s smashing my wife, he needs to catch these hands. Shit, I know that Alsina has always maintained that he’s super close to the Smith family. But, if I were Will, I’d like to know why homie feels comfortable enough to be this damn ambiguous. Nah, fam, someone needs to get put in a leg lock, man. Frankly, Alsina is way outta pocket with this track, bruh.

In the end, Will Smith knows what he needs to do, son. Ultimately, he’s the king of viral moments right now. So, why not unleash the Philly hands on Instagram, man? By and by, it’ll be the most cherished video in the history of social media, fam. At the end of the day, I’d pay any amount of money to watch Will Smith sleep August Alsina on film, bruh. That is all. LC out.

Cardi B: When Keeping It Real Goes Wrong

So, let me begin this post by saying that I’m a Cardi B fan. I mean, if anyone has read my blog, they’d know that, son. On the real, I’ve always appreciated the fact that she’s herself, regardless of the situation. On top of that, she’s from the Bronx, so that’s just code, man. With all of that being said, she needs to knock off the dumb shit, fam. Listen, we all know that she had a life before Rap. However, she needs to keep some of that shit to herself, bruh.

Ok, for those who missed it, Cardi is getting flamed for some shit she said on Instagram three years ago. So, based on her own admissions, she used to rob men during her stripper days. Now, to take it a step further, she admitted to luring men in who wanted to have sex with her, drugging them and THEN robbing them. Apparently, she did all of this because of “limited options.” Listen, I didn’t put “limited options” in quotations because I don’t believe she struggled. I phrased it like that because that’s still no fucking excuse, son. Look, I’m not naïve to crime, man. I’ve seen my fair share of fuckery while growing up in the Bronx, fam. But, she’s crazy if she thinks that people co-sign any of this behavior, bruh. Wrong is wrong is wrong, folks.

In addition, she ain’t need to confess to any of this shit, bruh. Like, this is the type of tomfoolery that got Liam Neeson in trouble. Real talk, no one needed to know that Neeson was looking for random Black dudes to kill, son. The same way that no one needed to know that Cardi was out here drugging dudes and doing Lord knows what to them. Now, instead of just tending to business, the public is looking at the both of them crazy, man. Hell, in the #MeToo era, Cardi can’t be out here talking about drugging people, fam. That’s the same shit that got Bill Cosby (rightfully) hemmed up.

In the end, Cardi needs to leave the past in the past. Ultimately, we already know that she’s not a perfect individual, bruh. By and by, she doesn’t need to keep reaffirming this. At this point, she’s just incriminating herself, son. Just watch, a bunch of dudes are about to come out and claim that Cardi did this to them. *Sigh* All of these younger artists just like snitching on themselves on social media, man. I just hope they know that the cops are listening, fam. That is all. LC out.

P.S. I don’t like the false equivalence between her actions and being a drug dealer. Yes, both are crimes, but at least a crackhead chose to do crack, son. All in all, Cardi’s victims ain’t choose shit, man. They just woke up with their possessions (and pride) gone. Keeping it a buck, I can guarantee that they didn’t sign up for that, fam. Good day.

Will Anybody Learn From 6ix9ine’s Situation?

So, here we are, son? After all of the trolling and nonstop shenanigans, the shit has finally hit the fan, man. Now, let me be clear, fam. I would never wish this situation on anybody, bruh. Yeah, I’ve been critical of 6ix9ine in the past. All I can say is, I stand by everything I’ve said, brethren. However, there was no reason for his story to go so left, folks. All in all, 6ix9ine’s ordeal needs to be a wake-up call for the young ones out here. Frankly, street shit ain’t nothing to fuck with, people.

Ok, for those living under a rock, Daniel Hernandez, b.k.a. Tekashi 6ix9ine, is in a world of manure. Now, after being picked up by the Feds for all sorts of crimes, 6ix9ine decided to plead guilty. Moving on, in addition to copping to 9 felony charges, he’s also agreed to cooperate with authorities. Meaning, 6ix9ine is about to start telling on all of his Nine Trey brothers. Apparently, he’s already admitted to helping the crew shoot at people, rob people and move drugs.

Listen, I don’t want to seem preachy, but social media championed this nonsense, son. On the real, any time an OG tried to tell 6ix9ine to chill, they were called “haters” or “old” or whatever else, man. Any time someone advised him against his behavior, internet losers said he was “winning” because of his antics. Well, does this look like winning now? I mean, was all of the tomfoolery worth it? Shit, due to his potential cooperation, 6ix9ine might end up in the Witness Protection Program. So, tell me again how he’s “winning,” fam.

In the end, I have nothing else to say, bruh. Ultimately, I hope all of these young cats learn something from this. By and by, there are certain elements that aren’t for play play, son. The streets are definitely one of those elements, man. At the end of the day, I’m certain that 6ix9ine would do all of this differently, man. Sad part is, he’ll most likely never get the chance, fam. *Sigh* C’est la vie, brethren. C’est la vie. LC out.

Protect Soulja Boy At All Costs

So, I’m going to keep this post short, son. The fact of the matter is, Soulja Boy is a national treasure and should be treated as such. I mean, “Crank That (Soulja Boy)” hit me on a philosophical level, man. All jokes aside, if anyone’s in a bad mood, just yell “watch me yuuuuu” and witness the world brighten up. With all of that being said, I’m thoroughly enjoying all of Soulja’s recent shenanigans, fam. All in all, the man just wants his respect, bruh.

Ok, for those who missed it, Soulja Boy has been on a tear, son. First, he took to Instagram to proclaim that he had the biggest comeback in 2018. Frankly, he wasn’t trying to hear shit about Tyga or Meek Mill, man. Next, he went to The Breakfast Club to further dig into his bag, fam. Shit, who cares about Tyga’s collabo with Offset? Big Draco has MAD records with Migos. Who cares about Meek’s former beef with Drake? Soulja went to war with Chris Brown, bruh. Like, what else do folks need to know, brethren? All I can say is, Famous Dex better lay low. He doesn’t want that Stacks On Deck smoke, people.

In the end, I don’t know what else to say, son. Ultimately, this post pales in comparison to Soulja’s actual rants, son. By and by, everyone can check out ALL of the footage below. Real talk, I made my wife watch his IG rant last night, man. At the end of the day, that’s how hilarious it was, fam. Anyway, here’s some tomfoolery to lighten up everyone’s Friday. That is all. LC out.

P.S. I know I’m being an ass, but Soulja Boy really did give a lot of new artists the internet blueprint, son. Hell, he’s legitimately the first rapper that I remember blowing up online, man. So, all hail Big Draco! Good day.

A Formerly ‘Ain’t Shit’ Dude’s Advice To Offset

So, let me keep it a buck, son. In order to make a point about this Cardi B and Offset situation, I’m going to throw myself under the bus. In any case, I just hope that anybody in Offset’s position can learn from my past mistakes. All I can say is, I’d bet money that his public campaign to get Cardi back is actually hurting him, man. The way I see it, Offset needs to take a much different approach, fam.

Ok, before I continue, let me outline my qualifications on this topic. Now, back in 2011, I was wilin’ in these streets, bruh. Anyway, despite the fact that I was a new dad and in a committed relationship, I was frequently involved in shenanigans that I had no business being a part of, son. Moving on, I ended up doing some shit with a woman who wasn’t my lady. Needless to say, I ended up in all of the doghouses, man. However, instead of immediately pushing her to take me back, I went a slightly different route, fam.

Now, as difficult as it was for me to do, I gave her space, bruh. I gave her room to make a decision for herself. No public showboating and no persistent pressure. Shit, instead of pining for her on social media, I legit disappeared from Facebook and Twitter for like 3 months. I made it a point to be present without being overbearing. So, that meant getting cursed out regularly. That meant getting ignored for days on end. That meant facing the possibility that she might not come back. All in all, the choice was in her hands and I wasn’t going to force her to make it.

Look, the point of that story is to tell Offset to back off a little. Ok, yes, it definitely seems like he wants his wife back. But, all of this attention may backfire, bruh. Hell, she basically said as much when she said “I told you I don’t like surprises” on Instagram. On the real, if she feels like she’s being bombarded on all angles, she might end up pulling away even more. The truth is, Offset needs to let her make a decision for herself. Real talk, that’s the only real chance he has, son.

In the end, don’t show up to any more concerts, Offset. Ultimately, he doesn’t want his woman to feel smothered. By and by, it’s insanely hard to loosen the grip while also trying to regain a connection. However, that may be his only real move, man. At the end of the day, the ball is in Cardi’s court, fam. Allow her to call the play. It might just work, bruh. That is all. LC out.