So, I won’t lie, son. On the real, I’m definitely trolling with the title. Like, I’m sure some people are going to read it and think “this dude is pandering and doesn’t know what he’s talking about.” In actuality, I know exactly where I’m going with this, man. The fact of the matter is, marriage can be simple in concept and extremely difficult in execution. With all of that being said, in celebration of my wedding anniversary, I’d like to explain how one basic idea has helped me along this journey.
Now, at this point, my wife and I have been married for four years and together for nearly 13 years. Needless to say, we’ve had our fair share of disagreements. Anyway, during my early 20’s, I was very wrapped up in being “right.” If we were having an argument, I was determined to highlight the logic behind my point. For further context, this was an issue that I had even prior to dating my wife. However, over time, I’ve learned to change my approach. To be fair, my wife and I still have our squabbles, but the trajectory is different. While we still try to get our points across, we simultaneously try to empathize with the other person. Frankly, that’s the only real way to come to a resolution.
Real talk, in the heat of an argument, I’m not going to pretend like we’re automatically in tune with the other person’s mindset. But, we also take the time to step away from one another and ruminate on what was said. It’s during these times that we’re able to see where the other person is coming from. From there, when we reconvene, we can express our feelings in a more constructive manner. Our communication is more fleshed out and we can reach a better level of understanding. All in all, issues don’t fester for long periods of time because we make sure to circle back around and reach middle ground.
In the end, my message is simple, brethren: empathy is the key. Ultimately, communication is only half of the battle. By and by, people can talk until they’re blue in the face, but if your significant other isn’t internalizing what’s being said, then it doesn’t matter. At the end of the day, empathy is easy and difficult at the same time. It’s a constant process and needs continual mastering. So, get to it, son. That is all. LC out.