How Sick Is Bryce Harper Right Now?

So, as a lot of folks should know by now, the Washington Nationals just won the World Series. Now, as a New York Yankees fan, I’m selfishly happy that the Nats defeated the Houston Astros in Game 7 last night. In any case, I’m not going to turn this into a bitter baseball fan post. Instead, I’m actually wondering about Bryce Harper right now. All in all, how does he REALLY feel seeing his former team win the year after he left?

Ok, for those who don’t know the history, Harper spent the first seven years of his career in Washington. Along the way, he became the Rookie of the Year, a multi-year All-Star and an MVP. Now, during this time, the Nats flirted with some good records, but they were never able to win the Pennant, let alone the World Series. Anyway, at the end of the 2018 season, Harper became a free agent. From there, instead of re-signing with Washington, he signed a 13-year $330 million contract with the Philadelphia Phillies.

Now, let me be clear, son. On the real, $330 million is a FUCK-TON of money, man! I mean, who the fuck wouldn’t sign that type of contract, fam?! Shit, if I was worth that type of bread, I don’t even know if I’d walk around with pants on, bruh. But, I guess everything comes with a price, folks (pun intended). Hell, one year after having an 82-80 record and missing the playoffs, the Nats just won the fucking World Series, brethren. All I know is, Harper’s GOTTA be sick right now, people.

Listen, I know a lot of Harper supporters are trying to use the “he’s got a lot of money, so he doesn’t give a fuck” argument. However, I don’t believe that at all, son. Frankly, high-level athletes are competitors, man. Meaning, they’re in it to win it, fam. So, no one can tell me that Harper doesn’t feel a way about watching his former team win it all. Especially when he was JUST there last year.

In the end, congrats to the Washington Nationals, bruh. Ultimately, I know the good people of D.C. have been waiting for this for a long time, son. By and by, I’m just happy that they handed the Astros that L, man. All I can say is, I hope my Yankees can mix it up with them next season. That is all. LC out.

I Don’t Feel Sorry For The Golden State Warriors

So, before I begin, let me make something clear, son. On the real, I don’t wish injuries on anybody, man. Shit, as a dude who’s ravaged every ligament in both of my knees, it hurts to watch players go down. With all of that being said, I still won’t shed a tear for the Golden State Warriors. I mean, after numerous opposing players got injured during their championship run, the chickens have come home to roost, fam. All in all, the Toronto Raptors finally put them out of their misery.

Ok, for the weirdos who missed it, the Raptors just won the 2019 NBA Finals. Now, I won’t lie, bruh. Real talk, the copious amounts of injuries on the Warriors definitely helped Toronto win. Like, this would’ve been a completely different series if Kevin Durant and Klay Thompson were healthy. However, despite all of that, the Raptors did what they had to do to win the title, son. Hell, they won three games in Oracle Arena, man. Frankly, I didn’t think that was possible, fam.

In any case, I don’t want to hear any sob stories about the Warriors. Look, I’m already seeing people on that “Raptors beat a depleted team” shit, bruh. Ok, yeah, they did, son. Also, I don’t give a flying fuckity-fuck, man. Listen, the Warriors have continuously benefitted from other teams having injuries. So, am I supposed to feel sorry for them now? Hell nah, fam. Keeping it a buck, karma is a motherfucker, brethren. The fact is, it was the Warriors’ turn to have some real adversity, people.

Listen, all folks have to do is go through their history, son. First, in 2015, they faced a Cleveland Cavaliers team that didn’t have Kyrie Irving or Kevin Love. In 2017, they played a San Antonio Spurs team that didn’t have Kawhi Leonard or Tony Parker. In 2018, they battled a Houston Rockets team that was missing Chris Paul for games six and seven. Shit, I could literally keep going, folks. The point is, the Warriors are finally on the wrong side of injuries, man. After four years of luck, the shit just went bad for them, fam. It just is what it is. All I know is, if their titles don’t have asterisks next to them, then neither does Toronto’s title.

In the end, shout-out to Leonard, bruh. Ultimately, the trade for him might go down as one of the best trades ever. By and by, homie showed up for one season and brought a ring to a team that has never won one before. All I can say is, DeMar DeRozen has to be siiiiiick right now, son. At the end of the day, the North did it without him, man. Welp, those are the breaks, fam. That is all. LC out.

P.S. At some point, we need to talk about Steph Curry‘s clutch shooting. All I know is, if LeBron James went 0-8 on playoff go-ahead shots with 20 seconds left, he’d be nailed to a cross, bruh. But, we’ll save that for another time. Good day.

I Am Finally Done With The New York Knicks

Good morning, everyone. My name is Lawrence Charles and I’m a lifelong New York Knicks fan. Moving on, I was there when John Starks went 2-18 from the field in Game 7 of the 1994 NBA Finals against the Houston Rockets. I was there when Patrick Ewing missed a game-tying finger roll in Game 7 of the 1995 Eastern Conference Semifinals against the Indiana Pacers. I was there when the organization traded away half of the Eastern Seaboard to sign Carmelo Anthony. However, I’ve had enough, son. *Sigh* After decades of nonstop tomfoolery, I’ve finally had enough, man.

Ok, for those who missed it, the Knicks decided to trade Kristaps Porzingis, our most promising player, to Luka Doncic’s Dallas Mavericks. Now, along with Porzingis, the team has also given away Trey Burke, Courtney Lee and Tim Hardaway Jr. All this in exchange for Wesley Matthews, Dennis Smith Jr., DeAndre Jordan and two future first-round picks. Apparently, Porzingis, who’s also coming off of injury, asked to be traded because he wasn’t down with the direction of the organization. Frankly, I don’t blame him, fam.

Listen, the Knicks have been arguably (not arguably) the worst organization in professional sports. I mean, we have a long, long, LONG history of making terrible fucking decisions, bruh. On the real, why would Porzingis trust the team’s direction, son? Seriously, when have we showcased ANY intelligence when it comes to building a competent squad? Keeping it a buck, I already know we’re going to fuck up those future first-round picks, man. Shit, we’re absolutely atrocious when it comes to selecting decent players, fam.

To make matters worse, Knicks management has almost certainly shot us in the foot for free agency, bruh. Like, why would Kevin Durant or Kyrie Irving come here if we don’t have Porzingis, son? Real talk, he was one of our biggest draws, man. Hell, he was one of the only bright spots on a team that has a SUPER checkered past, fam. All I know is, I want to break things and hit people, brethren. All jokes aside, I can’t take any more of this sustained abuse, folks.

In the end, AHHHHHHHHHHH! I just… I just can’t do this any longer, son. Ultimately, I don’t know who I’m going to root for, but it can’t be the Knicks, man. By and by, James Dolan doesn’t care about us, fam. At the end of the day, as long as people show up to Madison Square Garden, he isn’t concerned with the team’s pedigree, bruh. All I can say is, I’m finally bowing out, people. No mas. That is all. LC out.

Is The Drake & Pusha T Battle Already Over?

So, I won’t lie, son. Unless Drake puts out a diss to Pusha T this week, this will probably be the last time I speak on this subject. Now, to be fair, I’m only rehashing this topic because of a recent interview with J. Prince, Rap-A-Lot Records founder and Houston legend. Anyway, according to Prince, he made an “OG call” and told Drake not to respond to Pusha. All I know is, if this is true, these dudes just ruined a perfectly good Hip-Hop beef, man. *Sigh* It’s only Rap music, fam. Just fucking rap!

Ok, before I continue, let me give everyone a brief recap of Prince’s background. Now, as I stated above, Prince founded the legendary Rap-A-Lot Records. So, he’s responsible for bringing artists like Scarface and Devin the Dude to the forefront. In any case, his son, Jas Prince, is the one who discovered Drake on MySpace. In addition, Jas is the one who brought Drake to Lil Wayne. Needless to say, the Prince family has been very instrumental in Drake’s career, bruh.

With all of that being said, I can understand why Drake might take Prince’s advice to dead the beef with Pusha. However, it’s a fucking rap battle, son! Drake willfully engaged with Pusha and Pusha got the upper hand on him. All in all, it’s only right for him to respond and try to rectify the damage that Pusha has done to his name. I mean, that’s the whole fucking point of a battle, man! The entire objective is for rappers to go at each other until there’s a winner. Frankly, Prince is only calling the beef a “pigpen” thing because Drake took an L. Shit, no one was saying that when he was roasting Meek Mill, fam.

In the end, I just want to hear good bars, bruh. Side note, I don’t know which rumor is worse, son: the idea that Prince killed the beef or the rumor that Drake already recorded a response with help from Wayne. Look, ain’t no getting backup in this shit, man. On the real, this is mano a mano shit, fam. In any case, people are taking all of this way too seriously, folks. Ultimately, just let the men battle, people. This is precisely what Hip-Hop was founded on. That is all. LC out.

I Want The Cavaliers & The Warriors To Lose

Look, I know what everyone is thinking, son. I mean, based on the title, it may seem like I’m hating, man. But, before people try to take my head off, let me explain why I want the Cleveland Cavaliers and the Golden State Warriors to lose. Basically, as a lifelong basketball fan, I’m getting bored with the NBA, fam. Year after year, the same fucking teams go the Finals, bruh. All in all, I need some new shit to happen to keep my interest, folks.

Now, I won’t lie, son. I’ve actually felt this way for a little while, man. Listen, for the last seven years, it was a given that LeBron James and company were going to win the East. For the last few years, it was a given that Stephen Curry and company were going to win the West. From there, barring any random occurrences (like Draymond Green getting suspended in the 2016 Finals), it was a given that the Dubs were going to beat the Cavs. So, what does a dude like me have to look forward to, fam? On the real, we’re all just watching the same damn script, bruh. There’s no drama, no suspense and no thrill, people.

Listen, let me tell everybody how serious I am about wanting change. Now, I’m a New York dude through and through. Meaning, I hate ALL Boston teams with an undying passion. However, I’m so tired of the same matchups that I actually want the Celtics to beat the Cavs, son. Shit, does anyone know what that wish does to my soul, man? I’m actually rooting for a fucking team that I despise, fam. THAT’S how much I want things to be shaken up, bruh. All I know is, I’m going to have to repent to Yankees Jesus, folks.

In the end, my wish probably won’t come true, son. Ultimately, the Cavaliers and the Warriors will probably meet again in the Finals, man. Yes, I know that the Cavs just got trounced by the Celtics in Game 1. But, they’re going to have to beat LeBron three more times, fam. All I can say is, that’s a tall order for a young team, bruh. In addition, I don’t believe in the Houston Rockets‘s ability to beat GS, people. By and by, they’re going to have to show and prove before I believe the hype. In any case, I’ll see everyone in the Finals for part four of LeBron versus Steph and part three of LeBron versus Kevin Durant. LC out.

The NFL Inmates Running The Prison

*Sigh* Man, why do White folks always do the most, son? Like, seriously, do a lot of them even think for a millisecond before they speak? Do they ever consider the implications of their words before they open their mouths? Or is it just that they don’t give a flying fuck, fam? In any case, Bob McNair, owner of the Houston Texans, said some fuckity-fuck shit and needs to continue being dragged for it, bruh. With that being said, here… we… go!

Ok, before I continue, allow me to play make-believe for a second. Now, just for a moment, let’s pretend like McNair’s “can’t have the inmates running the prison” comments weren’t about race. Look, even in this scenario, his comments were disrespectful, son. Keeping it a buck, that’s not the way anyone should treat their employees, man. Basically, he’s saying that the concerns of his players don’t matter. Frankly, in his eyes, their only job is to shut up and play, fam. All in all, he isn’t worried about their interests as long as his bottom line is met. In this regard, that makes him a terrible boss, bruh.

Now, let’s get back to race, son. Listen, not a soul in this world can tell me that there wasn’t any racial bias embedded in McNair’s statements. Look, we’re talking about a league that’s 70% Black, man. In addition, we’re talking about athletes who are bringing attention to social injustice. So, am I supposed to believe that a wealthy White owner just innocently made these type of comments about Black workers? Fam, get the fuuuuuuuuck outta here! On the real, McNair said what he said because he thought he was in a safe space. He thought he could let those type of remarks fly because he was around Roger Goodell and a bunch of other owners. Shit, facts are facts, bruh.

Listen, I hope ALL of these players are paying close attention right now, son. This is exactly how these executives feel about them, man. Shit, players put their bodies and their livelihoods on the line and this is type of response they get, fam. Look, this is why people call players million-dollar slaves, bruh. They’re good enough to run up and down a field for their owners, but not good enough to have their views respected. By and by, no one should feel comfortable with that paycheck, folks. For one, their money is peanuts compared to the owners. Also, the powers that be can pull the plug on that revenue any time they feel like, people. *Sigh* Welcome to the real world, kid.

In the end, fuck Bob McNair, son! Ultimately, he can take his apology and shove it, man! I mean, let’s be real, fam. He only backtracked because he got called out for it. In his heart of hearts, he meant that shit, bruh. Now, when it’s all said and done, he’s only sorry that he got caught, people. Nothing more. LC out.

Does Donald Trump Know Puerto Rico Is Part Of America?

So, what’s the difference between Puerto Rico, Texas and Florida? I mean, all three places were battered by hurricanes. Also, all three places house American citizens. Look, whether it was Hurricane Harvey, Irma or Maria, each land was devastated by Mother Nature. So, I ask again, what’s the difference between Puerto Rico, Texas and Florida? The fact that Donald Trump doesn’t give a fuck about the citizens in Puerto Rico.

Now, for those who missed it, Trump spent this past weekend blaming Puerto Rico for their own misfortunes. Instead of commenting on the fact that fellow Americans don’t have power or running water, he talked about the land’s debt. Instead of heeding Carmen Yulín Cruz‘s pleas for help, he criticized her leadership and falsely claimed that relief efforts were great. Once again, instead of having genuine compassion for people, Trump turned another tragedy into politics.

Fam, Trump actually had the audacity to say that Puerto Rico wants everything done for them. Shit, did he say that to the Houston residents who begged Joel Osteen for shelter? Did he say that to Miami residents who watched South Beach get damn near washed away? Nah, Trump only took that tone with the Brown people, son. Look, no one can tell me that race isn’t a factor when these people need help just like any other citizen. All in all, Puerto Ricans did nothing to deserve such blatant disrespect, man.

In the end, I’m surprised that Trump can still surprise me. I mean, the lack of regard for people under his jurisdiction is staggering, fam. Then again, he’s probably like the 46% of Americans who don’t even know that Puerto Ricans are fellow citizens. *Sigh* It’s Monday morning and my head already hurts, bruh. I’m gonna go now. LC out.