The Rashida Jones Hate Is Stooopid

So, before I begin, let me say that this post isn’t a review of Kenya BarrisBlackAF. I mean, even though the show gave me some chuckles, I can see how some people may be resistant to it. In any case, I’m actually here to flambé the folks on social media who are too “woke” for their own good. Listen, before the dumb get dumber, please understand that Rashida Jones is a mixed race woman playing a mixed race woman.

Ok, for those who missed it, there’s a fake “issue” permeating its way through the social media accounts of a few individuals. Now, for some reason, there is a minority faction upset about the fact that Jones is one of the faces for Barris’ show. Apparently, her role on BlackAF is somehow holding Black people back in Hollywood. Never mind the fact that her dad is Quincy Jones and she’s actually HALF BLACK!

*Sigh* I swear, dummies just always want to be outraged by something. Look, there is absolutely nothing nefarious about a mixed race woman playing a mixed race woman. Like, who the fuck else was supposed to play that type of role? A White woman wearing blackface? A Black woman pretending to be mixed? The hilarious thing is, I’d bet money that a lot of the people who are trying to protect the “culture” also jam out to her father’s music. Shit, he’s provided the soundtrack to our lives for over 60 years.

In the end, I’ve said this before and I’ll say it again: shutting the fuck up is free. Ultimately, Black people have real issues to deal with in this world. Frankly, Rashida Jones playing a mixed race woman is not one of them, son. By and by, Black folks are not a monolith. At the end of the day, being Black can mean an infinite amount of things. The way I see it, Jones is actually being her authentic self by acknowledging that she’s biracial. So, if anyone is going to critique the show, do so based on the content. Not on some archaic idea of what’s Black. That is all. LC out.

Good Riddance, Harvey Weinstein

So, here we are, son. After all of the kerfuffle, Harvey Weinstein was actually found guilty of something. Now, he may have skated on a couple of the more serious charges, but he’s officially been convicted of rape. All in all, this is a major moment for the Me Too and Time’s Up movements. I mean, when women started outing predators for their grotesque behavior, Weinstein was one of the creeps at the top of the list. With that being said, he’s finally being held (partially) responsible for his crimes.

Ok, for those who missed it, the hammer came down on Harvey Weinstein. Now, after five days of deliberation, a jury found him guilty of rape in the third degree and committing a criminal sexual act in the first degree. However, he was acquitted of rape in the first degree and predatory sexual assault. Anyway, from what I understand, the jury believed that he raped Jessica Mann and assaulted Mimi Haley. But, by definition, rape in the first degree requires “forcible compulsion,” which is somehow different from other forms of nonconsensual sex. Side bar, if the sex is nonconsensual, doesn’t that already make it “forcible?” Like, I’m no lawyer but that just makes sense to me, man. In any case, Weinstein now faces a possible prison term of five to 25 years. The way I see it, the court probably won’t go easy on him with the sentencing, fam.

Moving on, this case is another example of the “chickens coming home to roost” for notorious predators. Hell, back in 2018, the justice system got Bill Cosby the fuck up outta here. Side bar, I’m not even remotely surprised that Cosby is out here defending Weinstein, bruh. *Sigh* I guess rapists have to stick together, son. All I know is, I’m tired of getting messages from Cosby’s handlers. Fam, just tell Pudding Man to shut the fuck up and finish his sentence. In addition, where are all of the “woke” people on their “they’re only coming for Black celebrities” shit? Yeah, Weinstein was found guilty just like Cosby. So, let’s just worry about putting ALL of the rapists away and leave race out of this, man.

In the end, good riddance to Harvey Weinstein. Ultimately, he coasted for way too long, bruh. By and by, I hope the rest of these offenders are sweating bullets right now. At the end of the day, there’s no place for this type of abuse, son. For all of my dudes out there, just find people who actually want to fuck, man. It really isn’t that hard, folks. We’re (mostly) all sexual creatures. So, go bump uglies with somebody who actually wants it, brethren. That is all. LC out.

RIP Pop Smoke

So, I won’t lie, son. On the real, I’m running out of things to say when an artist dies prematurely. I mean, the shit seems to happen so often that I don’t really know how to properly express how tragic these situations are. In any case, I just want to say rest in peace to Pop Smoke. All in all, fuck the music, man. The way I see it, a 20-year-old just shouldn’t go out this way, fam.

Ok, for those who missed it, Pop Smoke, an up-and-coming rapper from Brooklyn, was gunned down in the Hollywood Hills home he was staying in. Apparently, sometime after 4AM on Wednesday morning, a bunch of dudes ran up in the house and shot Pop. Now, at first, it was suspected that he was killed during a botched home invasion. However, as more evidence comes to the light, it appears as if he was targeted from the jump, bruh.

Look, there are several things about this incident that don’t make sense, son. First, let’s talk about the four assailants, man. Now, as they left the house, which is owned by Teddi Mellencamp and Edwin Arroyave from The Real Housewives of Beverly Hills, they didn’t leave with any stolen merchandise. Second, when the police were called, they were called by someone from the East Coast. Fam, does that even sound right? A shooting happens in Los Angeles and someone from across the country is the one to report it? Nah, bruh, I’m calling all types of shenanigans right now.

Now, we don’t have proof of anything, but it’s suspected that the shooting may have been related to Pop being a Crip. Either way, this crime was fucking senseless, son. Like, he was literally just getting started, man. Shit, he just released Meet the Woo 2 a couple of weeks ago and I’ve been playing “Christopher Walking” on repeat since before it dropped. In addition, he was just out there at Paris Fashion Week and a bunch of other high-profile events, trying to get away from the bullshit, fam. All I can say is, he never got a chance to fully integrate himself into his new life.

In the end, the nonsense needs to stop, bruh. Ultimately, nothing good ever comes out of this type of violence. Frankly, there’s probably going to be some kind of retaliation and some dudes are going to end up in prison. By and by, what’s the fucking point, son? At the end of the day, everyone loses at this street shit, man. So, leave the streets (and dumb motherfuckers who love the streets) alone. That is all. LC out.

P.S. Cats need to knock it off with that “he posted his own address, he did it to himself” shit. Fam, knowing where someone lives doesn’t give idiots the right to just run up in there and murder them. *Sigh* Folks ain’t safe anywhere, man. It’s a damn shame.

Get ‘Fast & Furious’ The F*ck Outta Here!

So, I won’t lie, son. On the real, I’ve fucking had it with the Fast & Furious franchise. Like, I understand that it’s a film series and none of it is real, but c’mon man. Real talk, each movie is more preposterous than the last one, fam. Frankly, I can barely keep up with all of the nonsensical shenanigans, bruh. In any case, the trailer for Fast & Furious 9 sealed it for me. All in all, I’m all of the way out, brethren.

Ok, before I get into my issues with the trailer, let me explain my gripes with the entire catalog. Now, when we first met these characters, they were just a bunch of motherfuckers racing cars in Los Angeles. Anyway, by the time we got to the fourth film, these cats were out here knocking off drug lords, ducking Interpol, robbing billionaires and all other sorts of tomfoolery. Keeping it a buck, I never understood how dudes like Dominic Toretto acquired all of these skills when he was supposed to be busy racing/fixing cars.

Look, I stuck by when Toretto somehow beat Luke Hobbs, a trained agent, in a fight. I stuck by when Toretto made the roof of a garage fall just by stomping on it. I stuck by when the crew jetted through Brazil with a fucking bank vault attached to their cars. Hell, I even stuck by when Toretto launched his car off of the aforementioned roof just to put a bomb on a flying helicopter. Now, folks mean to tell me, this entire time, Toretto’s brother was a master assassin? Son, if y’all don’t get the flying fuckity-fuck outta here!

First off, there is no planet where John Cena could be Vin Diesel‘s brother. Second, when the fuck did Cena’s character become this skilled, man? When Dom was fixing mufflers? Oh, and somehow, Han Lue is still alive? After we watched Deckard Shaw kill him? Bruh, what is Hollywood doing out here? Listen, there’s make-believe and then there’s this shit, fam. All I know is, the storyline is so far out of the realm of possibility that I can’t even enjoy it, people.

In the end, the only reason I might even remotely consider watching Fast & Furious 9 is because I’m a completionist. Ultimately, I’ve wasted enough brain cells on this franchise that I feel like I need to see it through to the end. Then again, I might just wait for this shit to hit my TV, son. At the end of the day, I can’t see myself giving these bums money for pure fuckery. That is all. LC out.

What Kinda Sh*t Is Daniel Kaluuya On?

So, let me begin this post by saying that I’m actually a big Daniel Kaluuya fan. Even though most people know him for his immaculate performance in Get Out, I remember getting hip to him from Kick-Ass 2 and Sicario. In any case, I’d be lying if I said that I wasn’t disappointed with his recent comments in Radio Times. The way I see it, the roles he plays don’t allow him to be ambivalent about racial issues.

Ok, for those who missed it, Kaluuya just did an interview with the aforementioned Radio Times. Now, during the course of the conversation, he expressed that he didn’t want to become “the race guy” and that he’s “just Daniel, who happens to be Black.” Furthermore, he described the topic of race as “boring” and that it’s a “narrative that is pushed.” All in all, Kaluuya doesn’t really want to be bothered with these issues anymore.

Now, there are a couple of reasons why he’s way out of line for these statements. First, he’s operating in Hollywood, where Black people have had to fight for EONS for decent representation. Shit, based on the fact that #OscarsSoWhite was a very recent movement, it’s clear that minorities are STILL struggling for proper recognition. On top of that, with opportunities for Black actors being so scarce, a large number of British thespians, including Kaluuya, have been picked over scores of Black Americans who are looking for their shot. So, Kaluuya has benefitted from the path that was forged before him, but now doesn’t want to talk about inequality? Son, get the flying fuckity-fuck outta here!

Second, despite his assertion that most of his roles don’t revolve around race, the fact of the matter is, damn near all of the films that he’s known for have a strong undertone or flat-out overtone about racial issues. Hell, in Get Out, Chris Washington was fetishized for his potential by a White family. In Black Panther, W’Kabi followed Killmonger, who’s sole goal was Black liberation. In Queen & Slim, which I’ve already expressed my love for, his character and his lady were victims of an overzealous police officer, much like many Blacks here. Next, he’s scheduled to play Fred Hampton in an upcoming project. So, for someone who doesn’t want to deal with race, he sure spends a lot of fucking time playing roles soaked in it.

In the end, shutting the fuck up is free, man. Ultimately, no one is asking him to be the beacon of the movement. However, there’s no need for him to thumb his nose at a discussion that his films actively contribute to. By and by, non-American Black people always seem to have a skewed perspective about race in this country. At the end of the day, discrimination is DEEPLY rooted in how this nation was constructed and currently operates. The way I see it, if he doesn’t want to be bothered by it, then leave Hollywood the fuck alone, fam. That is all. LC out.

Tyler Perry: Work Ethic vs. Quality

So, I won’t lie, son. Real talk, I’m going to be talking out of both sides of my mouth in this post, man. On one hand, I respect the fuck out of Tyler Perry‘s success, fam. I mean, I tried to make that perfectly clear in my previous post about his production studio. Look, I’m in absolute awe of what this man has been able to accomplish, bruh. The way I see it, we all need to applaud a Black man who has been able to carve his place into Hollywood. On the other hand, I’ve always found his writing underwhelming as shit, bruh. With that being said, he might need to employ some writers, brethren.

Ok, for those who missed it, Perry posted an interesting video on Twitter the other day. Now, in the 35-second clip, Perry showed his audience stacks of screenplays from his MANY shows. In addition, he highlighted the fact that he doesn’t have a writer’s room and is the sole creator of all of his content. Moving on, the purpose of the video was to let people know that his work ethic was/is strong.

Now, there is NO way that I can argue with that man’s hustle, son. Keeping it a buck, it’s super impressive that he was able to get so much done in 2019. But, I also have a completely different outlook on this situation, man. Shit, as I said in the first paragraph, Tyler Perry is not that good of a writer, fam. Look, I can’t even count the number of times that I’ve cringed during a movie or a television show from that guy. The truth is, I always end up supporting because I want him to keep breaking barriers in Tinseltown. However, I’m not going to sit here and pretend like he makes prolific material, bruh.

With all of that being said, I TRULY believe that Perry would benefit from having other scribes in the room. Hell, he’s currently writing a show called Sistas on BET. For reference, the show is about how Black women work, love and live in Atlanta. Now, am I supposed to believe that Tyler Perry is the fucking expert on Black women matters? Like, he really doesn’t think that having at least ONE Black woman in the room would be beneficial? Come the fuck on, son. Yes, his work ethic is admirable, but that also sounds like an ego trip, man.

Also, as I’ve mentioned before, he has an entire production studio in Atlanta. I can guarantee that there are TONS of Black writers who would love to get down on some of his projects. So, why not just employ them, fam? Why not give them a chance to offer some different perspectives? The way I see it, working with others would be a win-win, bruh. First, his questionable writing would probably improve AND he would be giving newcomers a shot at acclaim. All in all, I don’t see how this would be a bad idea, folks.

In the end, I don’t want this to seem like I’m hating, son. If anything, I’m trying to help Perry win, man. Then again, as successful as he is, my opinion probably doesn’t fucking matter, fam. But, as a consumer, I’ve NEVER been satisfied with any of Perry’s work. By and by, based on the fact that he does EVERYTHING himself, I can see why, bruh. At the end of the day, there’s nothing wrong with getting some help, brethren. That is all. LC out.

Julia Roberts Ain’t Nobody’s Harriet Tubman

So, on today’s episode of Folks Be Doing The Cotdamn Most, we get one of the most laughable stories I’ve ever heard. Look, I couldn’t make this story up if I tried, son. Now, according to Gregory Allen Howard, the screenwriter for Kasi LemmonsHarriet, a studio executive once wanted Julia Roberts to play Harriet Tubman. *Sigh* Let me say that again, man. Once upon a time, a Hollywood exec wanted Roberts, a whole White woman, to play one of this country’s most-notable African-Americans. All I know is, I’m at a complete loss for words, fam.

Ok, for those who are unaware, a Harriet Tubman movie has been on the docket since the early 1990s. Now, back in 1994, Howard was already tasked to write the film’s screenplay. In any case, during a meeting about the movie, this unnamed exec floated the idea of getting Roberts to play Tubman. Moving on, when everyone in their right mind said “homie, you wilin’,” the aforementioned exec replied “it was so long ago, no one is going to know the difference.”

Now, I don’t even know where to begin with this story, bruh. I mean, I can’t even express in words how preposterous that idea was, son. Listen, Hollywood has SUCH a lack-of-faith in Black stories that they’ll do ANYTHING to whitewash it, man. Fam, on what planet is it cool to have a White woman play a Black woman who freed other Black people from slavery?! Like, what? What?! All I can say is, I’ll be down for a White Harriet if they’ll be down for a Black Elvis with dreads and a spliff. So, who’s ready for the shits now, bruh?

In the end, I’m a little ashamed of myself, son. Ultimately, I’m surprised that I can still be surprised by some of the fuckity-mcfuckery that happens in this country, man. By and by, situations like this are why I’m a firm believer in minorities controlling our own stories. At the end of the day, we can’t depend on outsiders to do right by us, fam. The way I see it, allies are ALWAYS great. But, we also need to determine our own destinies. That is all. LC out.

My Tug-Of-War With ‘Harriet’

Disclaimer: Spoilers, I guess.

So, let me begin this post by saying that I have not seen Kasi LemmonsHarriet movie yet. In fact, the current plan is for my wife and I to see it at some point this weekend. Side note, I know that I’ve previously expressed my exhaustion with slave movies. But, I also said that I still wanted to see this film. In any case, after hearing about the inclusion of the Bigger Long character, I was slightly taken aback, son. All in all, I don’t know what to make of that storyline, man.

Ok, for those who are unaware, the internet is currently divided on what to think about Bigger Long’s presence in the Harriet movie. Now, in regards to the plot, Long is a Black bounty hunter who was hired to catch Harriet Tubman by her slave owner, Gideon Brodess. Moving on, despite being the catalyst for Long’s pursuit, Brodess ultimately kills him before he can harm Tubman. With all of that being said, a number of people, including myself, are thrown off by the fact that a White slave owner ends up saving a Black woman from a Black man.

Now, to be fair, I’m fully aware of the fact that there were Black bounty hunters during slavery. Sadly, there were a couple of reasons why a former slave would take up this profession. First, there were individuals who were looking for a way to provide for themselves and ended up selling out their own people in the process. Second, there were just some evil ass bastards who inexplicably hated their own kind. Either way, it was a fucked up way to live, fam. Moving on, the main issue with the film is the fact that no one can find a record of anyone like Bigger Long in Tubman’s history.

Look, let’s keep it a buck, bruh. Shit, against better judgment, people tend to take biopics at face value, son. Meaning, it’s easy for folks to just blindly believe what’s being presented to them. So, for anyone who isn’t willing to do the research for themselves, they’re going to leave the movie theater thinking that a Black man was trying to kill a Black woman and a White man saved her. I mean, no matter how Lemmons tries to justify it, that’s exactly what that scene means, man. Now, I’m not going to sit here and pretend like that’s the crux of the story. Mainly because I haven’t seen the movie yet. But, why add this dynamic to a story that didn’t require it, fam? Like, it’s not as if Lemmons added some random ass friend to the plot. She added an entire Black villain, kinfolk. Listen, Tubman’s life was wild enough without the added racial ambiguity, brethren.

In the end, I’m not sure if my issue is with Lemmons or Hollywood, in general. Ultimately, Black people always campaign to be represented by major studios. However, when we get the chance, our stories are dramatized in unnecessary ways. Then, to make matters worse, the community is guilt-tripped into supporting because “we might not get another opportunity.” So, we’re forced to deal with inaccuracies in fear of getting nothing at all. At the end of the day, I’m fucking conflicted, son. Like, I want to see the movie, but I don’t want folks, even women like Lemmons, to take needless liberties with our history. *Sigh* I don’t know, man. Frankly, I’m just thinking out loud, fam. Honestly, I’d like to hear other people’s take on this, bruh. Holla at me. That is all. LC out.

Omarion Is The New Phil Jackson

So, I won’t lie, son. On the real, we can all learn from Omarion, man. Like, his level of chill is something to behold, fam. All I know is, if Apryl Jones was my ex and Lil’ Fizz was my friend, someone would’ve been put in a rear-naked choke by now. The way I see it, Omarion is the new Phil Jackson, bruh. Meaning, he’s this generation’s Zen Master. With that being said, I can’t do anything but salute him, brethren.

Ok, for those who are unaware, Jones, the mother of Omarion’s children, and Fizz, his B2K bandmate, are dating. Now, simply on principle, this situation is all types of wrong, son. I mean, on what planet is it cool for my ex to date my homie? Shit, I don’t even know who’s fouler here, man. First, there’s Jones, who has both of Omarion’s kids. Next, there’s Fizz, who’s been in a group with Omarion since 1999. All in all, I don’t care how they cut it or slice it, fam. Furthermore, I don’t care how much Fizz tries to downplay his friendship with Omarion. The fact is, both of these muhfuckas are fucked up, bruh.

Now, if I’m being frank, the fact that Jones and Fizz are dating isn’t even my biggest problem, son. Honestly, it’s the public disrespect that gets me, man. To be fair, I’m not going to sit here and pretend like I’m aware of the inner-workings of Jones’ relationship with Omarion. For all I know, Omarion could’ve been a bastard to her, fam. But, the general masses can’t do anything but speculate about that. However, we DO know that Omarion has never publicly said/done anything shitty against Jones or Fizz. If anything, he’s taken the “I don’t care, as long as it doesn’t affect my business” approach. Yet, the two of those fuckity-fucks talk crazy about him at every turn.

Look, if anyone has watched an episode of Love & Hip Hop, they’d know that Jones spends a lot of the show talking shit about Omarion. At the same time, Fizz is always in the background, being “supportive” and claiming that he doesn’t care how Omarion feels. All the while, Omarion hasn’t said a cotdamn thing, bruh. Hell, he just did a reunion tour with B2K and still ain’t beat the brakes off of Fizz, son. In my eyes, that’s a level of self-control that I aspire to attain, man. Listen, the way my anger is setup, if I were Omarion, I would’ve done the “Touch” dance with my feet on Fizz’ face, fam.

In the end, Omarion’s zen is some otherworldly shit, bruh. Ultimately, it definitely seems like Apryl Jones and Lil’ Fizz go out of their way to disrespect him, son. By and by, I can’t speak to what happens behind closed doors. All I know is, this “new” couple is continuously going outside and acting a mutt, man. At the end of the day, it couldn’t be me, fam. Seriously, at this point, some heads would have to roll, bruh. That is all. LC out.

P.S. Apryl Jones is bad as shit, son. So, yeah, I might shoot Fizz some bail, man. Don’t judge me! Good day.