Can We Get A Mansa Musa Movie?

So, I won’t lie, son. On the real, I may alienate some people with this statement, but I’m fucking tired of slave movies, man. Like, how many films about slavery can we possibly make, fam? I swear, every year, there’s another “critically-acclaimed” movie about the horrors our Black ancestors had to endure. Yes, it’s very important to give an accurate depiction of our history. But, slavery isn’t the only history we have, bruh. With that being said, can we please get a Mansa Musa movie?

Ok, for some background, the upcoming Harriet film inspired this post. Now, before I get chewed to bits, I absolutely believe that Harriet Tubman deserves a quality film. The truth is, Harriet isn’t necessarily my problem. In actuality, Harriet is just a symptom of a larger issue. Frankly, I think Hollywood is just obsessed with slave movies, son. I mean, whether we’re talking about Amistad or 12 Years a Slave or The Birth of a Nation or Django Unchained, there always seems to be a new slave film in the works, man. Keep in mind, I love all of the aforementioned movies, fam. But, the Black experience shouldn’t just be relegated to slavery, drugs, sports or fucking music, bruh.

In any case, I’d like Hollywood (well, Black directors) to venture outside of the usual subject matter. The way I see it, there’s no excuse for the lack of a big-budget Mansa Musa movie, son. Shit, we’re literally talking about the wealthiest person in human history, man. How is it possible that the richest man ever, who happens to be Black, isn’t bombarding our theaters, fam? In my eyes, it’s not a coincidence that we’re always depicted as slaves, but not as royalty, bruh. So, take that for what it’s worth, folks.

In the end, I’m putting all of Black Hollywood on notice, son. Ultimately, I’m not telling people not to see movies like Harriet. Hell, my wife and I definitely plan on seeing the film. However, I’m challenging Spike Lee or Ava DuVernay or Steve McQueen or whoever to tackle these types of projects. By and by, I’ve read that Ryan Coogler and Michael B. Jordan have expressed interest in making a Mansa Musa movie. At the end of the day, I just want us to move away from the regular script, pun intended. The truth is, slavery isn’t the only thing that defines Black people. So, let’s talk about it, brethren. That is all. LC out.

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Tyler Perry Runs Hollywood

So, I won’t lie, son. Real talk, I have conflicting feelings about Tyler Perry, man. On one hand, I can’t say that I’m the biggest fan of his movies and TV shows. But, I must admit, I respect the fuckity-fuck out of him, fam. I mean, what he’s accomplishing in Hollywood needs to be applauded, bruh. All in all, instead of waiting for the powers that be to empower him, Perry took ownership of his legacy. The point is, the grand opening of Tyler Perry Studios is a big fucking deal, brethren.

Ok, for those who missed it, Perry officially opened the 330-acre studio he built in Atlanta, Georgia. Now, at first, I was confused, son. Shit, based on the fact that Black Panther and The Walking Dead have filmed there, I thought the studio was already up-and-running. However, those projects only operated on a small part of the studio. The fact is, the overall site is a much bigger and doper endeavor, man.

Now, in celebration of the grand opening, Perry had a party that included damn near every important Black person in the industry. Like, whether we’re talking about Oprah WinfreySamuel L. JacksonAva DuVernayBeyoncé or Jay-Z, the stars showed up and showed out at Perry’s event. With all of that being said, I hope people don’t miss the point about why this is a huge moment, fam. For some background, Tyler Perry Studios is the first production studio that’s fully-owned by a Black person. On top of that, it’s larger than Walt Disney StudiosWarner Bros. Studios and Paramount Pictures combined. Yeah, that’s big shit right there, bruh.

In the end, I wholly respect Perry for not waiting for a handout. Ultimately, as people of color, we’re always talking about wanting “a seat at the table.” The way I see it, fuck all of that, son. Frankly, we should be more worried about building our own tables. By and by, when we maintain our independence, we no longer put ourselves at the mercy of those who don’t want us to win. At the end of the day, ownership is real freedom, man. So, salute to Tyler Perry, fam. Salute. That is all. LC out.

Drake Should Do More Acting

So, if I’m being honest, this should be a short post today, son. I mean, I’m only here to endorse the “No Guidance” video by Chris Brown and Drake, man. On the real, I can’t remember the last time I truly laughed out loud during a music video, fam. All I know is, Drake needs to do waaaaay more acting, bruh. Seriously, he’s fucking comedic gold, folks.

Ok, I’m not going to sit here and give an entire breakdown of the video. But, I will set it up for everyone. Now, it’s no secret that there used to be bad blood between Brown and Drake. Frankly, both men couldn’t keep their feelings for Rihanna in check, son. From there, these dudes were getting into bottle fights with each other and throwing countless subliminal shots. Side note, I would absolutely knee a dude in the esophagus over Thick Rihanna. I’ve already established this, brethren. All in all, a lot of clownery was in the air between the both of them, but they were finally able to put their differences aside.

In any case, the video starts off by alluding to their previous feud. So, as a plot device, both artists act like it’ll be on site if they run into one another at this party. Anyway, when they do come face-to-face, Brown challenges Drake to a dance battle. All I can say is, this scene is where Drake kills shit, man. Like, we all know that Brown is a Top 3 dancer of all-time. However, Drake’s comedic timing is worth the price of admission, fam. Keeping it a buck, this is the same ability that he showed on Saturday Night Live, bruh. The way I see it, Drake needs to go ahead and get these Hollywood dollars, brethren. To me, he’s legitimately hilarious, folks.

In the end, I’m sure that Drake will move back to acting once he gets ALL of the music money. Ultimately, as crazy as it sounds, he could probably have a longer career in film and television than music, son. Shit, I know he’s been on top of the game for a decade, but a quality actor can work for the rest of his or her life, man. By and by, folks don’t have to take my word for it, fam. Hell, just watch the video below, bruh. At the end of the day, it’s funny as shit, people. That is all. LC out.

Put Some Respeck On Wesley Snipes’ Name

So, let me be clear off rip, son. On the real, I have nothing negative to say about Mahershala Ali, man. I mean, it goes without saying, but he’s one of the best actors in the game, fam. Shit, from House of Cards to Luke Cage to True Detective to Moonlight, Ali has been consistently great, bruh. With that being said, there will be no slander on his pedigree, folks. Instead, the goal of this post is to get people to appreciate the dopeness of vintage Wesley Snipes. All in all, people need to put some respeck on his name, brethren.

Ok, for those who missed it, the Marvel Cinematic Universe just delivered some big news, son. Apparently, Ali is going to portray Blade in a reboot of the film series. Now, as most people know, this role was made famous by Snipes. Honestly, because of this character, Snipes was the biggest actor in Hollywood for a hot second. As a matter of fact, the first Blade movie got me in massive trouble with my mom, man.

Look, once upon a time, 13-year-old LC thought he could pull a fast one on his mother. Now, as a birthday present, I convinced my mom to take me to see Blade. Moving on, she knew it was a Rated R movie, but I neglected to tell her what the film was really about. In any case, the first five minutes of the movie features a party in the basement with a bunch of vampires dancing under blood-filled sprinklers. From there, Blade swoops in to kill them all. All I know is, my mother slapped holy fire out me and swiftly removed me from the theater.

Anyway, despite the temporary setback, I eventually saw the movie about a hundred times. All I can say is, it’s one of my favorite films, along with a myriad of work from Snipes’ catalog. Listen, this is the same man that wrecked shop in Mo’ Better BluesNew Jack CityJungle FeverWhite Men Can’t JumpMurder at 1600 and U.S. Marshals. The truth is, Snipes has a lot of movies that I’ll watch anytime they’re on television, fam. So, even though I’m a huge fan of Ali, I don’t want people to forget the greatness of Snipes.

In the end, that’s all that needs to be said, bruh. Ultimately, Snipes is a legend and should be treated as such. Besides, he gave dark-skinned dudes like me hope, son. By and by, he spoke directly to me when he put a knife through Kareem‘s hand in New Jack City and said “I never liked you anyway, pretty motherfucker.” At the end of the day, long live Wesley Snipes! Long live Blade! That is all. LC out.

My Bittersweet Thoughts About Jordan Peele’s Win

*Sigh* I guess I’m going to be that guy, son. Now, before I get skewered by the Black community, let me be clear: I’m not about to slander Get Out. Look, at this point, nothing else needs to be said about how great that movie was/is. I mean, the film gave us the concept of the “sunken place,” son. That, in and of itself, is good enough to explain the virtues of this movie. With all of that being said, I don’t know how hyped we should be about Jordan Peele‘s Oscar win for Best Original Screenplay. Let me explain why.

So, about a week ago, Vulture interviewed some of the younger Academy voters. As expected, Get Out became a topic of conversation. Now, during the course of that discussion, the younger voters admitted that the older factions of the Academy were resistant to Get Out. According to them, Peele’s film was “not an Oscar film.” This was noteworthy because a bunch of the people saying this had never seen the movie. So, simply based on its appearance, they reached the conclusion that Peele’s masterwork wasn’t good enough. Hmm, I wonder why that would be, man.

Look, if we’re keeping it a buck, we all know what the deal is, fam. The fact of the matter is, these older voters don’t see the art in Black movies. Real talk, they saw a Black director and a Black cast and said “no thank you.” All in all, that brings me to my main point: why the fuck do we care about the Oscars? Listen, for years we’ve had to beg them to acknowledge our artistry. Why? Why do we give the Academy and Hollywood so much power when they don’t respect our ideas? All in all, it’s hard for me to rejoice over Peele’s win when the Academy didn’t even want to watch his movie in the first place.

In the end, I’m not trying to shit on history, bruh. Look, it’s dope that Peele was able to do something that no other Black person has done. However; in my eyes, this is kind of a backhanded award, son. Ultimately, how can I value this achievement when the “powers that be” didn’t value the movie? By and by, we need to stop giving the establishment so much deference. At the end of the day, they don’t respect us. So, we have no need to respect them. That is all. LC out.

Shut Up, Faizon Love

So, let’s play a quick game, son. It’s called Irrelevant People Do Weird Shit For 5 Seconds Of Attention. All I know is, Faizon Love currently has the high score in this game, man. Look, his unfounded criticism of Dave Chappelle just REEKS of desperation, fam. Hell, maybe I’d be bitter too if everything I did was inconsequential, bruh. All in all, Love needs to go somewhere with his pathetic hate, folks. At the end of the day, his opinion, like his career, doesn’t really matter.

Ok, for those who missed it, Love decided to jump out of the window over Dave Chappelle. Now, it seems as if Love has been on a crusade to prove that Chappelle doesn’t deserve his accolades. Why? Who the fuck knows, son. All I can say is, he’s stating his opinions as fact, man. However; he can’t back up any of the horse shit coming out of his mouth. Listen, when it comes to arts like comedy, fandom is subjective. But, discrediting another person’s rise to the top is some whole other shit, fam. With that being said, this is where Love needs to sit the fuck down, bruh.

Now, the fuckery began when Love insinuated that Chappelle was a Hollywood creation. Off top, that’s a bunch of nonsense, son. Look, when Chappelle’s Show began on Comedy Central, he barely had a budget, man. Fam, there were numerous interviews where Chappelle talked about the show’s humble beginnings and how the network didn’t necessarily believe in it at first. Real talk, it wasn’t until the success of that first season that Comedy Central put more muscle behind the program. Anyway, that brings me to my next point, bruh.

Listen, no one can deny the influence of Charlie Murphy on Chappelle’s Show. However; the idea that he alone made the show funny is pure nonsense, son. Like I previously said, there was an ENTIRE first season of the show before Murphy’s “True Hollywood Stories” segments about Rick James and Prince. On the real, Murphy brought a lot of classic material to the program, but Chappelle was killing the game beforehand, man.

Next, let’s talk about Love’s comparison of Chappelle and Kevin Hart. Now, like I said before, comedy is subjective, fam. However; the idea that Chappelle is a Hollywood invention and Hart is not is fucking LUDICROUS, bruh! Look, I’m a big fan of Hart’s stand-up specials. But, is Love trying to tell me that the guy who’s in Jumanji with The Rock isn’t being backed by Hollywood? Man, get the FUCK outta here, son! Keeping it a buck, NONE of Love’s hot takes make any sense, folks.

Look, let me explain what’s going on here, people. Now, when I think about Love’s career, the first thing that pops up is Friday. After that, I briefly remember him on The Parent ‘Hood. After that, I can’t think of anything else until the recently-released The New Edition Story. Basically, he’s been in the game for decades and has barely made a wave, son. So, it makes sense that he’s hating on all of Chappelle’s accomplishments. It makes sense that he’s bitter that Chappelle got $60 million from Netflix. It makes sense that he’s bitter that Chappelle just won a Grammy. Real talk, those who can’t do go on The Breakfast Club and hate. By and by, it’s a full-blown sucker move, man.

In the end, I hope Love does something with his momentary spotlight. Ultimately, that man doesn’t speak for me, son. He really had the nerve to claim that Chappelle never made Black people laugh. However; as a Black dude who hangs out with mostly Black people, that’s a bunch of bullshit, man. *Sigh* Maybe if Love had more shit going for him, then he wouldn’t be worrying about another man’s success. Well, let me go back to my regular life, fam. Which doesn’t include even remotely thinking about Faizon Love. That is all. LC out.

Et Tu, Louis C.K.?

So, I pride myself on being objective, son. Like, that’s one of the most important things in the world to me, man. In my eyes, the only way to be truthful in this life is to be objective, fam. Otherwise, we’ll just hang onto our own biases and ignore any evidence to the contrary. With that being said, I’d be a hypocrite if I didn’t call out Louis C.K., bruh. I mean, despite the fact that he’s my second favorite comedian of all time, the allegations against him are disheartening, folks. *Sigh* All in all, not even he is safe from getting this work, people. In any case, let’s just get to it.

Ok, for those who are unaware, I’m a HUGE comedy fan. Whether we’re talking about sitcoms, cartoons or movies, I’m down for it all, son. Anyway, keeping it a buck, I’m a stand-up comedy buff more than anything, man. Now, when I say I’m a real fan, I mean to the point that I seriously considered doing open mics myself, fam. All I can say is, thank God I decided to do a blog instead, bruh. Moving on, that’s what brought Louis C.K. to my attention. I discovered him on an episode of Comedy Central Presents and I’ve been a diehard fan ever since. Frankly, outside of Dave Chappelle, Louis is my favorite comedian ever.

Listen, being real, I gave all of that background so I could illustrate to everyone how crushed I was when I heard about the allegations against him. Apparently, according to The New York Times, he has an affinity for (unwarrantedly) masturbating in front of women. So far, five women have accused Louis of randomly pulling out his member and jerking off in their presence. Now, that would be cool if they asked for it, but none of these women were onboard for his advances, son. *Sigh* I guess Louis is just another example of Hollywood fuckery, man.

Now, instead of denying the allegations, Louis confirmed the tomfoolery, fam. In a statement released by his publicist, Louis admitted to abusing his power. According to him, he previously thought his actions were okay because he asked the women first. However; he now realizes that he placed these ladies in an impossible situation. These women were just trying to advance their careers and Louis took advantage of them. Instead of helping them further themselves in the business, he tried to get himself laid, bruh.

In the end, fuck, man. Why did Louis have to go and mess everything up, son? I mean, the drop is already happening, fam. So far, FX and HBO have ended their respective relationships with him. In addition, several premieres for his new movie, I️ Love You, Daddy, have been cancelled. Listen, why do so many famous people behave this way, bruh? Like, they can get ass if they want to, people! Just wait for the woman who’s down for the action. Ultimately, all I can do is shake my head. That is all. LC out.