Et Tu, Louis C.K.?

So, I pride myself on being objective, son. Like, that’s one of the most important things in the world to me, man. In my eyes, the only way to be truthful in this life is to be objective, fam. Otherwise, we’ll just hang onto our own biases and ignore any evidence to the contrary. With that being said, I’d be a hypocrite if I didn’t call out Louis C.K., bruh. I mean, despite the fact that he’s my second favorite comedian of all time, the allegations against him are disheartening, folks. *Sigh* All in all, not even he is safe from getting this work, people. In any case, let’s just get to it.

Ok, for those who are unaware, I’m a HUGE comedy fan. Whether we’re talking about sitcoms, cartoons or movies, I’m down for it all, son. Anyway, keeping it a buck, I’m a stand-up comedy buff more than anything, man. Now, when I say I’m a real fan, I mean to the point that I seriously considered doing open mics myself, fam. All I can say is, thank God I decided to do a blog instead, bruh. Moving on, that’s what brought Louis C.K. to my attention. I discovered him on an episode of Comedy Central Presents and I’ve been a diehard fan ever since. Frankly, outside of Dave Chappelle, Louis is my favorite comedian ever.

Listen, being real, I gave all of that background so I could illustrate to everyone how crushed I was when I heard about the allegations against him. Apparently, according to The New York Times, he has an affinity for (unwarrantedly) masturbating in front of women. So far, five women have accused Louis of randomly pulling out his member and jerking off in their presence. Now, that would be cool if they asked for it, but none of these women were onboard for his advances, son. *Sigh* I guess Louis is just another example of Hollywood fuckery, man.

Now, instead of denying the allegations, Louis confirmed the tomfoolery, fam. In a statement released by his publicist, Louis admitted to abusing his power. According to him, he previously thought his actions were okay because he asked the women first. However; he now realizes that he placed these ladies in an impossible situation. These women were just trying to advance their careers and Louis took advantage of them. Instead of helping them further themselves in the business, he tried to get himself laid, bruh.

In the end, fuck, man. Why did Louis have to go and mess everything up, son? I mean, the drop is already happening, fam. So far, FX and HBO have ended their respective relationships with him. In addition, several premieres for his new movie, I️ Love You, Daddy, have been cancelled. Listen, why do so many famous people behave this way, bruh? Like, they can get ass if they want to, people! Just wait for the woman who’s down for the action. Ultimately, all I can do is shake my head. That is all. LC out.

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Is It Cool To Be Cool With The Fool You Cheated With?

Disclaimer: Spoilers, bruh. Don’t say I didn’t warn you, fam.

So, let me paint a quick picture here, son. Ok, Man A and Woman A are in a relationship. Man A cheats on Woman A with Woman B. Woman A decides to call off the relationship because of the infidelity. Is it now cool for Man A to be friends with Woman B? Now, in my opinion, anyone with a brain would say “hell fucking no!” With that being said, I’m not sure why some women are cool with Issa being friends with Daniel on Insecure. I mean, if the genders were reversed, I’m pretty sure folks would be crying bloody murder, fam.

Now, at this point, anyone who watches this show knows what’s going on, man. Last season, Issa cheated on Lawrence with Daniel. This season, Lawrence said “fuck it” to the relationship and got his own apartment. However; during the latest episode, we see Issa at a day party chopping it up with Daniel. Granted, their interaction is awkward as fuck in the beginning, but by the end, they’re sitting and laughing next to each other at a diner. Man, what part of the game is that, son?

To be clear, I’m well aware of the fact that Issa is technically single now. However; why would she want to be around the person that ruined her relationship? A relationship she still wanted? Now, if Lawrence decided to come back around, does anyone think he’d be thrilled to hear about the company she’s kept? Yes, I know she’s now free to smash anyone, but principle is a motherfucker, man. Some people are just off limits, son. Daniel happens to be one of those people.

Ultimately, I don’t care if people are “Team Issa” or “Team Lawrence.” I would say the same exact thing if Lawrence was the one in Issa’s shoes. Look, it’s simply not cool for someone to be cool with the fool they cheated with. Shit, I know damn well my wife would murder me if I did some tomfoolery like that. Murder me AND frame the other woman, son. Needless to say, I don’t want no smoke, fam. That is all. LC out.

Get Bill Maher The F*ck Outta Here!

Yeah, I’m going to keep this post short today, son. I mean, in reality, there isn’t much that needs to be said here. All in all, Bill Maher is a fucking idiot, man. To be clear, I don’t want to hear shit about free speech or the fact that he’s a comedian. Frankly, Maher made a highly inappropriate comment and thought he could get away with it. With that being said, he now knows the gravity of his arrogance.

Now, for anyone who missed it, Maher was interviewing Senator Ben Sasse on the Friday edition of his Real Time show. While speaking about Halloween in his native Nebraska, Sasse expressed that the holiday was “frowned upon” in his state. From there, Maher said that he needed to visit Nebraska more. Next, when Sasse invited Maher to “work in the fields” with them, Maher said “Senator, I’m a house nigger.”

Ok, so, let me get this straight. A White guy is having a conversation with another White guy, the word “fields” is brought up and a slavery reference is made? So, why the fuck should anybody be cool with this? Look, does anybody defending Maher even know what a house nigger was? Well, here’s a quick history lesson for everyone reading this.

So, a house nigger was a slave who served the master in the house. They cooked for the master, cleaned for the master and took care of the master’s kids. In a number of cases, house niggers had lighter skin than the typical African slave. This came as a result of frequent sexual assaults perpetrated by masters on their slaves. In addition, a portion of house niggers ended up “loving” their masters because they didn’t have to deal with the backbreaking work in the fields.

With all of that being said, why the FUCK should anyone give Maher a pass, man?! Shit, if he made a Holocaust reference, I highly doubt anyone would claim it was “just a joke.” Man, since when were White people allowed to make slavery jokes anyway? Look, descendants of the oppressor don’t get to liken themselves to the oppressed. Ultimately, Maher was cocky enough to think he could get away with his ignorant ass joke. For that, I don’t accept his half-assed apology. Fam, he only did it to stay on HBO‘s good side.

In the end, I guess I lied about keeping this post short. Listen, I couldn’t help myself, man. Bill Maher is a fucking asshole, bruh. He’s a prime example of a “pretentious liberal.” Look, just because we agree on some political points doesn’t mean he can just jump out the window like that. By and by, Maher just needs to shut the fuck up. I mean, he was never that funny anyway. LC out.

Get Milo Yiannopoulos The F*ck Outta Here!

So, on the latest episode of Get (Blank) The Fuck Outta Here, I bring to you Milo Yiannopoulos. This douchebag is the now-former editor of Breitbart News. Yes, the Satan-spawn of Steve Bannon has come back to plague us again. In any case, since the weekend, Milo has had a glorious downfall. On the real, I can honestly say that I don’t feel a shred of sympathy for him. Milo is a shit-stain of a person and he’s getting EVERYTHING he deserves.

Now, before I continue, let me explain to everyone who this turd is. I’ve covered the Breitbart part, but that’s just the beginning of his fuckery. If anyone actually read the filth he spewed on that website, they’d see that he has no regard for civility or humanity. This is a man who disrespects women and the LGBTQ community with regularity. Side bar, that last tidbit is EXTREMELY odd given the fact that he’s gay. Anyway, this is also the same man who made it his life’s mission to bully Leslie Jones on Twitter. Needless to say, for his constant hate, he was banned from the social media platform.

In any case, Milo’s real downfall began after some outrageous comments surfaced on a livestream. For all intents and purposes, Milo defended pedophilia. This fucking clown had the audacity to say that when older men have relationships with younger boys, they give the kids “love” and a “reliable sort of a rock.” Taking it a step further, he mentions his own childhood sexual abuse and says that he’s “grateful for Father Michael.” In Milo’s own words, he wouldn’t be as good at giving head without the priest. Finally, Milo believes that 13 year old boys are “sexually mature.”

Look, it’s very rare that I’m speechless, son. However; I’M FUCKING SPEECHLESS! I’m confused on so many levels, man! How can any functional human being speak so casually about the abuse of children? In addition, how can anyone who’s actually been abused be so nonchalant about taking a child’s innocence? I’m fucking baffled, bruh! Without question, Milo is one of the most hateful people walking this Earth. He gives no respect to women, children or anybody else, for that matter. It’s fucking disgusting, son! Shit, “disgusting” is not even a strong enough word, man. Real talk, I don’t even know how to accurately describe my disdain for this dude.

Ultimately, I’m ecstatic that Milo is losing all of achievements. So far, he’s lost his Conservative Political Action Conference invitation, his book deal and his job at Breitbart. It’s ridiculous that it took this long to get rid of him, but I’ll take it, man. All in all, Breitbart has produced nothing but hate, son. That site needs to be eradicated, along with everyone that contributes to it. LC out.

P.S. Bill Maher can get the fuck outta here too. No one’s giving this dude credit for getting Milo fired, son. Maher’s a clown for even having him on his show in the first place, man. That is all.

Let’s Talk About The Blackity-Black Golden Globes

I’m Black, y’all, and I’m Black, y’all, and I’m Blackity-Black and I’m Black, y’all. Man, if anyone watched the Golden Globes last night, they would’ve probably heard those CB4 lyrics cycling in the background. All jokes aside, last night’s awards show was a great time for Black actors and actresses. After a year of exceptional work in both television and film, multiple Black stars were honored for their respective performances. Accolades were doled out for achievements both in front of and behind the camera. With that being said, let’s keep the party going and talk about all of our winners, son. Ohledoit!

Now, if we’re starting with television, we’ve got to give major props to both Donald Glover and Tracee Ellis Ross. First off, let’s talk about the fact that Ross is the first Black woman to win the award for Best Actress – Musical or Comedy since Debbie Allen. To put this into perspective, Allen won that award back in 1983 for Fame. To give even MORE perspective, Allen won that award before I was born and I’m in my early 30’s. Needless to say, it’s been a long fucking time, son. Ross has been killing it on black-ish for a while now. This honor is long overdue, man. Massive congrats to her.

Next, let’s talk about Donald Glover, aka Childish Gambino. This dude had an incredible night, man. Shiiiit, if we’re counting his “Awaken, My Love!” album and his soon-to-be stint as Star WarsLando Calrissian, Glover had an incredible 2016, son. In any case, not only did he win the award for Best Actor – Musical or Comedy, but his show, Atlanta, also won Best Series – Musical or Comedy.

Keeping it a buck, Atlanta and Issa Rae’s Insecure were my two favorite shows of the past year. Both Glover and Rae made shows that were unapologetically Black and dared the mainstream to get onboard. Keep in mind, when I say “unapologetically Black,” I’m not referring to any stereotypical depictions of Black people. Both shows displayed the nuances of our community and depicted the fact that we’re not all a monolith. So, with a show like Atlanta being respected, it shows us all that we don’t have to dilute ourselves for recognition.

Moving on, let’s get to these movies, son. All I know is, all praises are due to Viola Davis and Moonlight. Davis won the award for Best Supporting Actress – Drama, Musical or Comedy for her role in Fences and Moonlight won Best Motion Picture – Drama. Now, even though I believe Davis should’ve been in the Best Actress category, it’s about time Hollywood recognized she’s one of the best in the game. She’s been a deity for quite some time now, man. They’re officially late to the party, son.

Also, to keep it going, Moonlight was the best movie I watched last year. If we’re being real, homosexuality can be a taboo subject in the Black community. However; this film does any amazing job of chronicling a man’s journey through self-realization and self-acceptance. There was nothing cliché about the storyline and it’s impossible to not be emotionally invested in the characters. Side note, I love absolutely EVERYTHING about Janelle Monáe. I’d find a way to marry her if my wife wouldn’t kill me first.

In the end, while we don’t need Hollywood’s acceptance to do great work, it’s still good to see them acknowledge our awesomeness. With or without their help, we need to continue pushing OUR art forward and telling OUR stories. That’s the only real way to shape our own narrative. Once again, congrats to all of last night’s winners, man. Good day.

P.S. I hate to end this post on a critical note, but someone tell the Golden Globes that Hidden Figures and Fences are two different movies. No, White people, we don’t all look alike and we don’t all act in the same movies. That is all.

P.P.S. Shout-out to Glover again for showing love to Migos‘ “Bad and Boujee“. That song is without a doubt the most enjoyable thing on the planet right now. Rain drop… LC out.

Go Away, Lena Dunham

So, I plan on keeping this post short today, but I just need to make one thing clear: Lena Dunham needs to go away. Far, far, faaaaaar away. At this point, what is her point? What is her purpose? What is she aiming to accomplish with all of the idiotic things she says? For someone who claims to be a champion of women’s rights, Dunham spends a large part of her life spewing unwarranted nonsense. Now, I could take some time and go through her laundry list of tomfoolery, but I’d rather speak about two of her most recent incidents. After this, maybe she can finally disappear into an abyss and never be heard from again.

Now, let’s start with her debacle with Odell Beckham, Jr. As of now, I’m sure a lot of people have heard about her make-believe encounter with the New York Giants star. During the Met Gala earlier this year, Dunham happened to be sitting next to Beckham. While recounting her “experience” during a conversation with Amy Schumer, Dunham went on some ridiculous tirade about how Beckham didn’t speak to her because she wasn’t shaped like the women he normally deals with. She essentially body-shamed herself and made it seem as if Beckham was the one being sexist. She called herself a “marshmallow,” a “child” and a “dog” in an effort to present Beckham as some heartless misogynist who only values a woman’s body. Somehow, Dunham turned a non-situation into an ordeal which erroneously painted her as a victim. For me, I could care less about the fact she apologized. This story should’ve never been told in the first place. It didn’t add ANY value to the REAL movement feminists are fighting for.

Moving on, just the other day, Dunham did the damn most YET AGAIN! This time, her foolishness awakened while reminiscing about a conversation she had with a young girl outside of a Planned Parenthood in Texas. The girl was asking different women to share their stories of abortion. Now, despite the fact Dunham never had an abortion, she apparently didn’t want to be left out of the struggle. Instead of just leaving well enough alone, Dunham stated on a podcast that even though she’s never had an abortion, she wished she had. What? Wait, what?! Did she just speak about abortion like it’s the latest dance craze? Is this woman fucking serious? There is absolutely NOTHING lighthearted about abortion! While I’m a firm believer in a woman’s right to choose, that doesn’t make the decision any less difficult for them. It’s never an easy choice to forgo a pregnancy and her ability to speak about this topic so nonchalantly shows how dense she really is. How can a woman “fight” for women’s rights but be so insensitive to an action that can be profoundly impactful? Man, get this clown the fuck outta here, son!

In the end, I’m mad at myself for even writing this post, man. I really don’t believe this woman is worth any of our time. Hopefully, when Girls is finished on HBO, the ground will open up and swallow her whole. She doesn’t deserve to walk among us. Good day.

Let’s Talk About Issa Rae’s ‘Insecure’ Finale

So, I’m going to start this post by throwing my lady under the bus. Even though the finale for Issa Rae‘s HBO show, Insecure, aired on Sunday, I couldn’t watch it until last night because she fell asleep during the original showing. With that being said, everyone can blame her for my late review. In any case, I see the episode has splintered men and women on social media. Frankly, I’m not sure why. Issa took a lot of L’s in this episode and she deserved every single one of them.

Now, let me begin by saying I understand all of the gripes Issa had with her boyfriend, Lawrence. For the most part, he was a fucking bum, son. Despite being technologically gifted, he wasn’t doing shit with his abilities. At this point, I’m sure Issa was sick of hearing about Lawrence’s “app,” which never seemed to get off of the ground. Yes, we all have dreams, bro, but at some point, potential isn’t cool anymore. Either make real moves or shut up about these mythical aspirations. It was clear that he wasn’t really pulling his weight in the relationship.

Ok, now that I’ve gotten that out of the way, let’s talk about how Issa still ruined her own damn life. Even though I chronicled all of the ways Lawrence wasn’t shit, she still had the option to leave him. If she was that unfulfilled in her relationship, then what’s the point of hanging around? Being with someone for a number of years isn’t a good enough excuse. I could kick rocks with bare feet for four years, but that doesn’t make it a good fucking idea, man. Ohhhhh, ok, she was waiting around to see if he would get his shit together. But wait, when he actually got his shit together, that’s when she cheated on him with Daniel! How does that make any fucking sense, man?! She waits until Lawrence starts to become the man she wants him to be and throws it all away? What part of the game is that, son? Nah, man, Issa isn’t a victim here. She brought this avalanche on herself.

To be real, as fucked up as it sounds, I would’ve understood the situation more if she cheated while Lawrence was still bumming it. At least, in that case, she could’ve blamed it on unhappiness. It would’ve still been a bullshit excuse, but she would’ve had a stronger leg to stand on. Her relationship with Lawrence was actually on the incline and she fucked it up because she had an “itch” she wanted to scratch. Well, ok, she scratched her itch, opened up a major wound and now she doesn’t know how to fix it. Now, instead of coming home to her man, she came home to a set of keys, an empty bedroom and a Best Buy t-shirt. To make matters worse, Lawrence then proceeded to blow the cartilage out of Tasha‘s back. Shiiiit, it’s cold out here on these streets, son.

Ultimately, Issa doesn’t have an argument here. Disillusionment is not an excuse for disrespecting a relationship. If she truly wasn’t happy, she should’ve left. She didn’t have to wait until things were moving in a positive direction to derail it. She got what she deserved. Viva la Lawrence!