Chill Out With The F*cking Fireworks!

So, I won’t lie, son. On the real, I’m pretty fucking heated right now. Ok, yes, as a native New Yorker, I understand how folks get down with the fireworks in the summer. However, shit is beyond egregious this year. Like, motherfuckers have completely lost their minds with these fireworks, man. I mean, every night, fam? Every fucking night?! All I know is, everybody needs to chill the fuck out with these cotdamn explosions, bruh.

Ok, for those who are deaf, in a city near you, folks are absolutely bugging with the fireworks. Now, at first, I thought it was just an NYC thing. Shit, I’m from the Bronx, son. Frankly, the minute that June hits, I’m used to cats letting off the illegal Rockets and Roman Candles. But, this year has been different, man. Look, maybe it’s because of the quarantine and the fact that people are beyond restless. However, every single night, for hours on end, fools are outside blasting every firework in existence, fam.

Hell, just look at the numbers, bruh. In major cities all across America, fireworks complaints are up as much as 4000% compared to last year. Son, shit has gotten so bad that I seriously considered going outside and beating people with my belt buckle. All I can say is, I have no idea why people chose this particular summer to go totally haywire. Now, like I’ve said before, maybe this is the fallout from the coronavirus and all of the social distancing, man. But, why the fuck do these idiots think this is the solution? Fam, newfound freedom shouldn’t be infringing on anyone’s peace of mind. Yeah, I’m the old, washed and ornery guy now. Fuck it.

In the end, I need everyone to just shut the fuck up. Ultimately, NO ONE wants to hear fireworks all night long. By and by, a few of us are one step away from shoving a Roman Candle up someone’s ass and seeing if they take off like a jetpack. At the end of the day, all of this feels like a conspiracy. However, I have no clue what the endgame is. That is all. LC out.

The New & Improved JTW FIT

So, here’s the deal, son. My boys Jahkeen Washington and Thomas Boatswain are top-notch trainers that run JTW FIT. For a number of years, they’ve provided affordable and high-level fitness classes to folks in the Harlem area. Well, after years of operating out of another location, they’re officially opening their own studio. Needless to say, if anyone is in the vicinity of NYC, then go break a sweat, man.

Now, the studio is a couple of weeks away from its grand opening. So, in the meantime, everyone should first follow @jtwfit on FacebookTwitter and Instagram. Next, hit up jtwfit@gmail.com and join their mailing list, fam. Lastly, download the MINDBODY app and get in on these deals, bruh. Look, for the rest of August, the squad is offering some dope presale deals. Namely, $15 for the first class, $210 for a 10-class pass and $200 for unlimited classes over 30 days. On top of that, as of yesterday, they’ve dropped their official class schedule.

In the end, what else needs to be said, son? Ultimately, folks need to go get this workout in. In any case, the fitness studio will be located at 2235 Adam Clayton Powell Junior Boulevard, New York, NY 10027. By and by, folks will probably see me in there boxing on Thursday’s and Saturday’s. But, they’ve got the weights on deck, the row machines on deck and trainers that take pride in this shit. So, get to it, man! That is all. LC out.

P.S. My brother Kofi Ofori-Ansah from SOTBG (www.sotbglife.com) will also be training clients out of the studio. So, support all of my brethren, son. They all know what the fuck they’re doing, man. Good day.

Why Do We Care About Gucci?

Look, I have a question for all of my minority brethren out there. Seriously, why do we give a fuck about Gucci? Why do we give a fuck about H&M? For that matter, why do we give a fuck about ANY of these corporations? On the real, why do we allow ourselves to be “hurt” by entities that have never cared about us? At this point, NO ONE should be surprised when a conglomerate does something stupid. The way I see it, we need to stop supporting ALL businesses that don’t support us. Period.

So, for those who weren’t paying attention, Gucci got their blackface on. Anyway, the shenanigans began when they advertised a black turtleneck with red lips to cover a person’s mouth. Now, I shouldn’t have to explain to anyone why that’s ridiculous, son. I mean, just look at the embedded picture, man. Like, really? Really, Gucci? Listen, am I supposed to believe that NO employee saw that sweater and said “that ain’t it, chief”? To make matters worse, Gucci was trying to charge folks $900 for this travesty, fam. Keeping it a buck, I don’t even know what to say here, bruh.

Listen, this isn’t the first time that a company has spit in the faces of “melanated” folk. Real talk, weren’t we just mad at H&M for their “Coolest Monkey In The Jungle” hoodie like a year ago? The point is, we put so much stock in corporations that don’t have our best interests at heart. The question is, why? Like, why don’t we just support our own people who work in these same fields? Look, I know Dapper Dan is trying to be the middleman, but I’d rather buy directly from him, son. Dan was the MAN in Harlem before these same vultures conspired to take him down. Now, I won’t knock him for teaming up with Gucci, but he was a certified legend without them, fam.

In the end, my point is simple, bruh. Ultimately, we need to leave these companies alone, son. By and by, we need to pool our resources together and champion people in our communities. At the end of the day, fuck a boycott, man. In my eyes, these entities should’ve never had such control over us in the first place. So, instead of “improving” Gucci, let’s focus on putting our own brethren in positions of influence, fam. Frankly, these high-powered losers don’t deserve our money anyway. That is all. LC out.

Luke Cage Drinks White People’s Tears

White people just need to be a part of everything, huh? It’s mind-boggling how our Caucasian counterparts can watch a show about a Black man in Harlem and be upset about the lack of White representation. Now, the last time I checked, Harlem wasn’t Greenwich, Connecticut. However; I refuse to go down this path. I’m not going to spend my time debating such a stupid argument. Instead, I’m going to propose a trade. On behalf of the Black Delegation, we’ll make future episodes of Luke Cage “more White” if the following things happen:

1. Friends returns with more Black people in its cast.

2. Seinfeld returns with more Black people in its cast.

3. The Wonder Years returns with more Black people in its cast.

4. Gilligan’s Island returns with more Black people in its cast.

Ok, wait, let me stop for a second. Does everyone see where I’m going with this? Literally EVERY television show or movie features a predominantly White cast. Hell, why the fuck do dumbasses think Black people were so angry about the Academy Awards last year? Did we already forget the #OscarsSoWhite movement? All we do is beg for representation, man. Instead, we get idiots like Tim Burton explaining why diversity isn’t important in his movies. So, White people get to be the stars of damn near ALL of our entertainment and they STILL want to commandeer ours too. Man, the fuckery is so strong, I don’t even know how to put it into words.

With all of that being said, let me backtrack for a second. No, we will NOT add more White people to Luke Cage just to make the Butt Hurt Federation happy. For once, we’re telling stories about OUR lives, and news flash, White people aren’t always a part of it. On the real, if this is what people think “reverse racism” is, they literally have no clue about regular racism. Black people have to deal with institutional bias, profiling and brutality, while fools complain about not being shown at the same deli as Luke. Is this a fucking joke, son? Like, this can’t be real life.

All in all, if any White person is mad about Luke Cage, then I’m happy. On the real, anyone that falls into that category needs to grow the fuck up. Black people don’t watch shows set in Nebraska and wonder why we’re under-represented. This is Harlem, bitch! Hold this L. Good day.

P.S. Simone Missick, the woman who plays Misty Knight on the show, is fine as FUCK, son! Now, that has absolutely nothing to do with the subject of this post, but I had to say it anyway.

P.P.S. Shout-out to my dude Brent for inspiring this post. I tried to avoid the tomfoolery, but I do take good advice when it’s given to me. That is all.