A Post Of Jokes For Folks Mad About A Black Mermaid

So, I won’t lie, son. Real talk, I can’t even pretend like I’m surprised, man. I mean, anytime there’s an opportunity, bigots are going to dig into their bigotry bag, fam. In any case, this The Little Mermaid shit is especially preposterous. Like, really? Really, folks? We’re seriously out here debating the race of a fictional character? *Sigh* I guess it’s time to get these jokes off, bruh.

Ok, for those who missed it, Disney just brought out the prejudice in a number of people. Now, Halle Bailey, one half of the Beyoncé-signed sister duo Chloe x Halle, was cast as Ariel in the upcoming live-action version of The Little Mermaid. Anyway, on paper, Bailey definitely has the chops to kill this role. I mean, she’s a credible actress, as seen on Grown-ish, and she’s an incredible singer. So, this should be a layup, right? Well, not according to a bunch of racists on social media, son.

Now, from the minute news went out, the hate train started rolling, man. Shit, whether we’re talking about the #NotMyAriel hashtag or the “Make Ariel White Again” group on Facebook, an unfortunate faction of people started to attack Bailey’s race. Apparently, a fictional character, who is also an imaginary entity, cannot be Black. All I can say is, are folks fucking serious, fam?!

Listen, to begin, Ariel is a fucking mermaid, bruh. Last time I checked, MERMAIDS AREN’T REAL, SON! Hell, this is like when Megyn Kelly and company legitimately tried to argue the race of Santa Claus on Fox News. Seriously, are certain White people so insecure, they need fake characters to validate themselves? Fam, we’re talking about a cotdamn mermaid who’s friends with a Jamaican crab and gets her voice box taken by an octopus in a dress. That’s the fight these folks are trying to fight, man? For God‘s sake, don’t these people have more important shit to worry about? Are they paying their mortgages on time? Did their children eat for dinner? Like, the ethnicity of Ariel is not the hill to die on, brethren.

In the end, I need everyone to understand something: if the race of Ariel causes a person to say bad shit about Black people, then they’re racist. Ultimately, there are no ifs, ands or buts about it, son. By and by, if White people weren’t pissed about the casting of Gods of Egypt, then shut the fuck up. If they weren’t pissed about Fisher Stevens playing Ben Jabituya in Short Circuit, then shut the fuck up. If they weren’t pissed about Scarlett Johansson playing a fucking Japanese cyborg in Ghost in the Shell, then PLEASE shut the fuck up. Side bar, I love Scarlett Johansson, but that’s neither here nor there. At the end of the day, race only becomes an issue in casting when White people don’t get the role. So, these folks can kiss the crack of every minority ass, man. That is all. LC out.

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‘Grown-ish’: A Debate With My Wife About ‘Girl Code’

So, my wife and I don’t watch a ton of the same shows, but Grown-ish is something we can both agree on. In any case, last night’s episode fueled a heated debate between the two of us. Frankly, I vehemently disagreed with her rules for “girl code.” On the real, I feel like all of the characters are needlessly tripping, son.

Ok, for those who missed it, here’s a little bit of background: Zoey Johnson, the main character, used to have a crush on Aaron Jackson. During the first year of college, they flirted with the idea of hooking up, but nothing really ever happened. As a matter of fact, Zoey ended up dating a dude named Cash Mooney and now dates Luca Hall. Side note, she started dating Luca after Aaron shot his shot and she turned him down.

Moving on, Zoey’s homegirl, Ana Torres, started getting down with Aaron. The both of them neglected to tell Zoey because they were fearful of her reaction. Now, here’s where my confusion begins, man. Look, Aaron was never Zoey’s man AND they never smashed. On top of that, Zoey chose Luca over Aaron. So, where does she get off trying to dictate who can date who?

Now, my wife was like “if I ever called dibs, then the dude is off limits to my friends.” Huh? So, a woman can refuse to date a dude, not give him no ass and STILL claim him? Fam, get the flying fuckity-fuck outta here! Ana can’t possibly be breaking “girl code” if the dude never belonged to Zoey. Listen, if Ana smashed Cash or Luca, then Zoey would be well within her rights to beat the holy snot out of Ana. But, making googly eyes with a dude is not enough of a reason to lay claim, bruh. The truth is, if he was never her man, then who he fucks is none of her business, son.

In the end, I want to hear people’s thoughts on this. Like, am I bugging for thinking that Zoey is bugging? Ultimately, I don’t see how she can be upset when she didn’t want Aaron in the first place. By and by, she needs to worry more about Luca and less about who her former crush is banging. That is all. LC out.