Julia Roberts Ain’t Nobody’s Harriet Tubman

So, on today’s episode of Folks Be Doing The Cotdamn Most, we get one of the most laughable stories I’ve ever heard. Look, I couldn’t make this story up if I tried, son. Now, according to Gregory Allen Howard, the screenwriter for Kasi LemmonsHarriet, a studio executive once wanted Julia Roberts to play Harriet Tubman. *Sigh* Let me say that again, man. Once upon a time, a Hollywood exec wanted Roberts, a whole White woman, to play one of this country’s most-notable African-Americans. All I know is, I’m at a complete loss for words, fam.

Ok, for those who are unaware, a Harriet Tubman movie has been on the docket since the early 1990s. Now, back in 1994, Howard was already tasked to write the film’s screenplay. In any case, during a meeting about the movie, this unnamed exec floated the idea of getting Roberts to play Tubman. Moving on, when everyone in their right mind said “homie, you wilin’,” the aforementioned exec replied “it was so long ago, no one is going to know the difference.”

Now, I don’t even know where to begin with this story, bruh. I mean, I can’t even express in words how preposterous that idea was, son. Listen, Hollywood has SUCH a lack-of-faith in Black stories that they’ll do ANYTHING to whitewash it, man. Fam, on what planet is it cool to have a White woman play a Black woman who freed other Black people from slavery?! Like, what? What?! All I can say is, I’ll be down for a White Harriet if they’ll be down for a Black Elvis with dreads and a spliff. So, who’s ready for the shits now, bruh?

In the end, I’m a little ashamed of myself, son. Ultimately, I’m surprised that I can still be surprised by some of the fuckity-mcfuckery that happens in this country, man. By and by, situations like this are why I’m a firm believer in minorities controlling our own stories. At the end of the day, we can’t depend on outsiders to do right by us, fam. The way I see it, allies are ALWAYS great. But, we also need to determine our own destinies. That is all. LC out.