Quincy Jones Doesn’t Give A F*ck

Listen, old people don’t give a flying fuckity-fuck, son. I swear, once people make it past “retirement age,” they do and say whatever the hell they want, man. All I know is, Quincy Jones DEFINITELY fits into that category, fam. Real talk, the legendary producer recently did interviews with GQ AND with Vulture. Needless to say, he let ALL of the hot takes go, bruh! All in all, I can see people having issues with some of his statements. However; his sit-downs with these well-known publications were HIGHLY entertaining, folks!

Ok, let’s just skip the formalities, son. On the real, I simply want to get straight to the fuckery, man. Now, in regards to the tomfoolery, I want to do something a little different, fam. Keeping it a buck, I want to go through some of Jones’s most ear-catching stories in bullet format. With that being said, here’s some of the shit that made me go “oh shit”:

1. Jones claims to have 22 girlfriends all around the world. In addition, despite being 84 years old, his women apparently range between 28 and 42. Now, even funnier, those ages are part of an agreement between him and his daughters. Look, this is a wild motherfucker, son!

2. When he was down with Lionel Hampton‘s band, they allegedly used to buy dope from Detroit Red. Now, this is notable because the man formerly known as Detroit Red eventually became Malcolm X. Sheesh, that’s some wild shit, man!

3. Jones claims that Ray Charles convinced him to try heroin for a few months. In addition, Charles’s addiction was apparently so bad, he used to have a guy shoot dope directly into his nuts. Look, if that story ain’t true, then Jones has the CRAZIEST imagination, fam!

4. Apparently, after the infamous James Brown concert where Prince embarrassed himself in front of Michael Jackson, Prince tried to run over MJ with his limousine. Bruh, that’s fucking HILARIOUS! I swear, Prince was always the king of petty. This is part of the reason why I’m still a huge fan of his.

5. Jones asserts that MJ’s monkey, Bubbles, hit his daughter Rashida. Now, hurting a child is never funny, but come on, son! Only MJ would get into some shit where his pet monkey hit a kid. Good Lord, Mike was a cotdamn legend but a weird ass dude, man!

6. Jones maintains that Taylor Swift is a bad songwriter, that Elvis Presley couldn’t sing and that The Beatles were terrible musicians. Listen, I can see A LOT of people being upset by these claims, but what the fuck can they say to Quincy Jones, fam? I mean, he’s a legend among legends, bruh. Just deal with it.

7. Jones said that Marilyn Monroe‘s breasts looked like pears. On the real, I don’t know why that’s so funny, but I laughed REALLY hard when I read that, son.

8. About twelve years ago, Jones allegedly dated Ivanka Trump. Now, in his own words, she had great legs, so OF COURSE he had to do it, man! Real talk, this man has been a dog, by his own admission, for DECADES!

9. Last but not least, Jones claims that Marlon Brando smashed James Baldwin, Richard Pryor and Marvin Gaye. Now, I’m not surprised by Baldwin. Hell, I’m not even surprised by Pryor. Look, Pryor has made jokes about his sexuality and his widow even confirmed the story. However; Gaye through me for a loop, fam. All in all, this tale doesn’t make one bit of difference to me. But, it’s bugged out how casually Jones said it, bruh. Shit, it’s almost as if he looked at the interviewer crazy for not knowing this information. At the end of the day, Jones has seen EVERYTHING, people!

In the end, long live Quincy Jones, son! Ultimately, that’s a wild ass dude, man! All I can say is, I can read/listen/watch his interviews all day, fam. By and by, shout-out to GQ and Vulture for getting him to let off these shots. That is all. LC out.

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Can I Live In Cam Newton’s America?


Let me start this post by saying, I’m not sure what America our good friend Cam Newton resides in, but shiiiiiiit, I’d love to live there. A country that’s beyond racism? That sounds phenomenal, son. Where can I sign up for a trip to this magical place? Oh, wait, he’s talking about this actual land we’re currently living in? Well, in that case, I’m thoroughly confused as all hell, man.

Now, recently, Cam did an interview with GQ Magazine. While speaking about a variety of different topics, the subject of race came up and that’s what caused my Rock eyebrow to raise. It’s no secret Cam has received his fair share of bad press, especially after the way his season ended post-Super Bowl. Even during the lead-up to the big game, Cam had to consistently field questions about being a Black quarterback in the NFL. With all of the varying attacks on his ability, temperament or whatever else critics tried to single out, for some reason, Cam doesn’t believe these shots were racially motivated at all. In fact, he stated that we’re “beyond that” as a nation. Wow, that’s news to me, son. Well, since his memory seems to be a little fuzzy, allow me to point out a few past situations and see whether his logic holds up.

Let’s start with the letter written to him by Rosemary Plorin. After a game where Newton’s Carolina Panthers trounced the Tennessee Titans, Plorin expressed her disappointment in Cam’s behavior during the game. In her eyes, he’s a role model who should never engage in any type of “showboating” behavior. In fact, she was so bothered by his actions, she expressed the idea she didn’t even know what to tell her 9-year-old daughter. Man, get the fuck out of here. This woman took her daughter to a game where grown men violently crash themselves into each other and she’s worried about the fact Cam likes to dab? Are you fucking kidding me, son? Last time I checked, Aaron Rodgers does that damn “Discount Double Check” every time he completes a first down and I can’t even count the amount of times I’ve seen footage of Rob Gronkowski acting a fool somewhere. Are these players also getting open letters written to them? If not, tell that woman to get off of her high horse and enjoy the game.

Now, let’s talk about Bill Romanowski. After the Panthers’ Super Bowl loss, detractors called out Cam for not being very forthcoming in his post-game interview. It was obvious from his attitude he didn’t want to answer any questions and his demeanor was the complete opposite of the celebratory character we saw all season. Now, I’ll be the first to admit, even I thought he was acting like a sore loser, but Romanowski took it a step further. In a tweet against Cam, he stated “you will never last in the NFL with that attitude. The world doesn’t revolve around you, boy!” Boy? Boy?! Maybe it’s just me, but I was pretty sure Cam was a 27-year-old grown ass man. No one can tell me there wasn’t even a tinge of racial prejudice behind that statement. Do I have to remind people about the history of White people calling Black people “boy” in this country? Honestly, I’d rather not, son. And besides, Google is everyone’s friend. Just go look it up.

At this point, I’m sure there are readers out there who aren’t sipping the Kool-Aid I’m serving right now. Honestly, that’s fine with me. We’ll just agree to disagree. With that being said, a Black public figure of his magnitude insisting we’re beyond race as a nation is still incredibly damaging. Were we beyond race when the Justice Department released a report stating the Baltimore police department regularly violated the rights of minorities? Were we beyond race when Dylann Roof shot night Black churchgoers in an attempt to start a race war? Were we beyond race when officers pulled Philando Castile over because he had a “wide set nose?” I didn’t think so, son. At this point, if Cam has nothing constructive to say on the subject, he needs to just shut the fuck up.

Ultimately, I guess Cam is doing his best O.J. Simpson impression. However; I’d warn him to be careful with that approach to life. We already saw how the O.J. story drastically veered off course. Good day.