Why The Hell Do I Like Desiigner’s “Timmy Turner”?

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To be honest, I got so much heaviness off my heart last week that frankly, I don’t want to talk about anything overtly serious today. Then again, with all of the fuckety-fuck shit going on in the world right now, I’m positive I’ll need to put my cape back on and save the planet from itself in the very near future. With that being said, today’s post was inspired by my fiancée. She overheard me singing Desiigner‘s “Timmy Turner” and she flatly asked me why I liked that song. After about five seconds of straight silence, I legit didn’t have an answer for her. So, today, I’m going to try and figure this out. Why on Earth do I like that God-forsaken song?

Now, for anyone who follows me on Instagram (@icantbefamous), I’m sure you’re familiar with a video rant I had a few weeks back about Desiigner’s New English mixtape. As a musician and sincere music fan, I try to stay abreast on any artist pushing the needle of the culture. However; by taking this approach to life, I’ve listened to my fair share of pure basura. After listening to Desiigner’s mixtape, I wanted to kick puppies off of bridges, have someone shoot a BB gun at my nuts and do a backflip into a piranha tank. Bruh, that was 30 odd minutes of some of the worst shit I’ve ever heard in my entire life. Most of the songs were under 3 minutes long and rarely consisted of more than a repeated chorus and maaaaaybe some semblance of a verse. Frankly, I was shocked a label of the pedigree of GOOD Music would release something of this caliber, or lack thereof. Fast forward a couple of weeks, the full version of “Timmy Turner” came out and I completely forgot what I was talking about.

If I’m going to be real, every single criticism I had for Desiigner’s mixtape is still in full effect on “Timmy Turner.” I still have no idea what the fuck that dude is talking about and the song is still basically nothing more than a chorus. However; for reasons unbeknownst to me, it all works on this song. With that being said, I still have so many damn questions, son. Why the hell is this song about a Fairly OddParents character? Why the hell does Timmy need a burner to kill everybody walking? What the hell does a “fine bitch” and BET have to do with anything? Seriously, what the hell is this song even about? I’ve already lost track of how many times I’ve said “hell” in this post, son. I’m so confused and I literally have no explanation for any of this, man. I sincerely need someone to help me make sense of all of this.

Since I’m not a hypocrite, I’ll admit I’ve been a fan of this song ever since it came out as a XXL Magazine Freshman Freestyle. Side bar, since when did a freestyle simply become nothing more than reciting the chorus of an unreleased song? Does everyone out there see what I mean? There’s absolutely no reason why I should like this song. In any case, you mix Desiigner’s dumbfounding weirdness with a melodic masterpiece of an instrumental by the legendary Mike Dean and you’ve got me, hook, line and sinker. Being someone who hated “Panda” and his aforementioned mixtape, it’s unbelievable I would like anything this guy released as much as I like this song.

In the end, I don’t think I’ve accomplished anything with this post. I’m still not sure why I jam out to this track. As I’m writing this, my fiancée is giving me the “what the fuck is wrong with you” look. Ultimately, who cares, though? Someone just tell Timmy Turner to keep it cool. Everybody walking doesn’t need to die. Now, before I go, if anyone reading this likes this song too, can you explain to me why? I’d legit like to know. Good day, folks.