Who Pissed In Kid Cudi’s Cereal?

Man, what would Twitter be if it wasn’t a venue for celebrities to lose their shit in a barrage of 140 characters? Honestly, ain’t that the best part of following public figures on social media, son? With that being said, I’d like to thank Kid Cudi for throwing all types of shots at Kanye West and Drake yesterday. While I’m not sure who rubbed their nuts on Cudi’s Corn Flakes, I’m absolutely here for the show, bro. Now, let’s get to it.

Now, I have to be honest, son, I don’t know where to start with this story. This is mainly because it has so many layers and they’re all hilarious. So, apparently, Cudi stubbed his toe on a staircase bannister and then decided to fire off some tweets. At first, Cudi spoke in generalizations about artists who consider themselves Top 5 despite having “30 people” write for them. He continued to wax poetically about how the “fake ones” won’t last and he even used my favorite word in the universe: fuckery. Now, even though he shouted out artists like A$AP Rocky and Travis Scott, he made it perfectly clear his derision was aimed at Kanye and Drake.

While I have no idea what these two dudes did to Cudi, he firmly declared the notion that neither one of them care about him. In his mind, they only needed him when he had something to offer them. Furthermore, he believes they only kept him close because of how “powerful” he is. Look, it sounds like a bunch of BFF beef to me, but I can’t fault a man for feeling the way he feels. However; that doesn’t mean I can’t laugh at how emotional these tweets are, bro. I mean, let’s be real, Cudi did the same thing on Twitter that Kanye does on a regular basis. At this point, Kanye is Regal Ruler of Random Ranting and Rambling. No wonder him and Cudi were friends for so long, son.

With all of that being said, there was NO way word was going to get back to Kanye without a response. During his Saint Pablo tour stop in Tampa, Yeezy decided to respond to his former protégé. After a flurry of comments like “I birthed you” and “don’t never mention Ye name,” Kanye expressed being hurt because he was the first one to be called names for wearing skinny jeans. Ok, he didn’t necessarily say that was the only reason he was upset, but c’mon son, he literally brought up wearing skinny jeans first. So, a former mentee airs him out and that’s one of the first things that comes to his mind? I swear, Kanye is one of the funniest human beings on the planet, son. Any man that can mention skinny jeans and Malcolm X is adjoining sentences is a genius, bro.

In the end, can’t we all just get along, man? Look, I’ll give Cudi his credit, son. While I’m not his biggest fan, I’m well aware of the wave he started. He was a driving force behind Kanye’s 808s & Heartbreak, which essentially created Drake’s whole aesthetic. So, yeah, his influence can’t be denied. However; I don’t see how this ends well for him. I mean, regardless of what Cudi puts out musically, I doubt it can harm the reign of Drake and Kanye. In case he forgot, they’re the two biggest rappers on the planet. And no, this isn’t up for debate, son. They just are. It is what it is, bro. Good day.

P.S. I know Drake responded to Cudi too, but I can’t help but shoulder shrug, son. Once again, he takes shots onstage, but he probably ain’t got no bars for Cudi. Until then, miss me with the jokes. I’m out.

Why The Hell Do I Like Desiigner’s “Timmy Turner”?


To be honest, I got so much heaviness off my heart last week that frankly, I don’t want to talk about anything overtly serious today. Then again, with all of the fuckety-fuck shit going on in the world right now, I’m positive I’ll need to put my cape back on and save the planet from itself in the very near future. With that being said, today’s post was inspired by my fiancée. She overheard me singing Desiigner‘s “Timmy Turner” and she flatly asked me why I liked that song. After about five seconds of straight silence, I legit didn’t have an answer for her. So, today, I’m going to try and figure this out. Why on Earth do I like that God-forsaken song?

Now, for anyone who follows me on Instagram (@icantbefamous), I’m sure you’re familiar with a video rant I had a few weeks back about Desiigner’s New English mixtape. As a musician and sincere music fan, I try to stay abreast on any artist pushing the needle of the culture. However; by taking this approach to life, I’ve listened to my fair share of pure basura. After listening to Desiigner’s mixtape, I wanted to kick puppies off of bridges, have someone shoot a BB gun at my nuts and do a backflip into a piranha tank. Bruh, that was 30 odd minutes of some of the worst shit I’ve ever heard in my entire life. Most of the songs were under 3 minutes long and rarely consisted of more than a repeated chorus and maaaaaybe some semblance of a verse. Frankly, I was shocked a label of the pedigree of GOOD Music would release something of this caliber, or lack thereof. Fast forward a couple of weeks, the full version of “Timmy Turner” came out and I completely forgot what I was talking about.

If I’m going to be real, every single criticism I had for Desiigner’s mixtape is still in full effect on “Timmy Turner.” I still have no idea what the fuck that dude is talking about and the song is still basically nothing more than a chorus. However; for reasons unbeknownst to me, it all works on this song. With that being said, I still have so many damn questions, son. Why the hell is this song about a Fairly OddParents character? Why the hell does Timmy need a burner to kill everybody walking? What the hell does a “fine bitch” and BET have to do with anything? Seriously, what the hell is this song even about? I’ve already lost track of how many times I’ve said “hell” in this post, son. I’m so confused and I literally have no explanation for any of this, man. I sincerely need someone to help me make sense of all of this.

Since I’m not a hypocrite, I’ll admit I’ve been a fan of this song ever since it came out as a XXL Magazine Freshman Freestyle. Side bar, since when did a freestyle simply become nothing more than reciting the chorus of an unreleased song? Does everyone out there see what I mean? There’s absolutely no reason why I should like this song. In any case, you mix Desiigner’s dumbfounding weirdness with a melodic masterpiece of an instrumental by the legendary Mike Dean and you’ve got me, hook, line and sinker. Being someone who hated “Panda” and his aforementioned mixtape, it’s unbelievable I would like anything this guy released as much as I like this song.

In the end, I don’t think I’ve accomplished anything with this post. I’m still not sure why I jam out to this track. As I’m writing this, my fiancée is giving me the “what the fuck is wrong with you” look. Ultimately, who cares, though? Someone just tell Timmy Turner to keep it cool. Everybody walking doesn’t need to die. Now, before I go, if anyone reading this likes this song too, can you explain to me why? I’d legit like to know. Good day, folks.