Whose Mans Is Chet Hanks?

So, before I even begin this post, I’d like to give everyone some background on my upbringing. Now, I’m a first-generation American whose mother was born in Barbados and whose father was born in St. Vincent. Furthermore, I have extended family members from Jamaica, Trinidad, Grenada, Antigua, you name it. In addition, I’m married to a woman whose entire family is from Nevis. Meaning, I’m as Caribbean as they come, son. With all of that being said, what in the entire fuck was Chet Hanks doing at the Golden Globes, fam?

Ok, for those who missed it, Chet’s father, the incomparable Tom Hanks, was being presented a lifetime achievement award at this year’s Golden Globes. Needless to say, it shouldn’t have come as a surprise that Chet was there. However, his appearance on the red carpet was thoroughly baffling, man. I mean, out of fucking nowhere, dude decided to talk to the press in a patois accent straight out of the 99 Cent Store. Bruh, what “island massive” was Chet referring to? The fucking bar staff at a Sandals resort? For the love of God, why is Chet always doing some fuckity-fuck shit, son?

To be clear, this is not the first time that Chet has engaged in nonsensical shenanigans. Shit, just a few years ago, he was a rapper who looooved saying the word “nigga.” Now, all of a sudden, he’s the new fucking Collie Buddz? Side note, that ain’t a knock against Collie Buddz, man. On the real, I’m a big fan of that dude, folks. In any case, this culture vulture shit needs to stop, fam. Hell, he’s the son of a cotdamn legend, people. Real talk, he doesn’t have to always partake in the fuckery, brethren.

In the end, I have nothing else to say, bruh. Ultimately, I want everyone to watch the video for themselves. By and by, after getting past the fact that the video is hilarious, we need to pack Chet Hanks in a box somewhere. At the end of the day, he’s a habitual line-stepper who has to be defeated, son. At this point, I’m pretty sure that Tom would rather rock out with Wilson than Chet, man. That is all. LC out.

Migos Needs To Drop Their Album NOW!

Look, let’s be clear here: Migos‘ “Bad and Boojee” is the best song ever. Donald Glover already told everyone this during the Golden Globes, son. Ok, it may be a stretch to say it’s the best song ever, but dammit, I enjoy EVERYTHING about that joint, man. Shit, I even enjoy Lil Uzi Vert‘s verse and I’m not the biggest fan of his music. With that being said, all I know is, Migos needs to drop their Culture album right this second! Their buzz can’t get any higher, son. It’s go time, bro!

Now, as of yesterday, “Bad and Boujee” is the number-one song on the Billboard Hot 100 chart. That makes it the number-one Pop song in the country. That means a song that references cooking dope in a crockpot is the most played song in America, son. Now, I don’t know about anyone else, but that tidbit makes me feel all warm and fuzzy inside, man. While Quavo may be the most visible member of Migos, Offset is the star of this song and has all of the memorable catchphrases. Hell, the hook of the song ain’t even really a hook, man. It’s just another Offset verse where he gets to stunt in preposterous ways. Man, what’s not to love about this fucking song, son?

I mean, that’s all, folks. I’m just happy that a song I enjoy so much has topped the charts. While I’m at it, shout-out to Metro Boomin for producing damn near every jam over the last three years and finally getting his first number-one song. For me, his work on 21 Savage‘s Savage Mode makes me want to kick small puppies and throw hamsters like I’m playing shot put. All in all, it’s songs like this that keep me sane in this world, son. Everyone needs to get on the train. Good day.

Let’s Talk About The Blackity-Black Golden Globes

I’m Black, y’all, and I’m Black, y’all, and I’m Blackity-Black and I’m Black, y’all. Man, if anyone watched the Golden Globes last night, they would’ve probably heard those CB4 lyrics cycling in the background. All jokes aside, last night’s awards show was a great time for Black actors and actresses. After a year of exceptional work in both television and film, multiple Black stars were honored for their respective performances. Accolades were doled out for achievements both in front of and behind the camera. With that being said, let’s keep the party going and talk about all of our winners, son. Ohledoit!

Now, if we’re starting with television, we’ve got to give major props to both Donald Glover and Tracee Ellis Ross. First off, let’s talk about the fact that Ross is the first Black woman to win the award for Best Actress – Musical or Comedy since Debbie Allen. To put this into perspective, Allen won that award back in 1983 for Fame. To give even MORE perspective, Allen won that award before I was born and I’m in my early 30’s. Needless to say, it’s been a long fucking time, son. Ross has been killing it on black-ish for a while now. This honor is long overdue, man. Massive congrats to her.

Next, let’s talk about Donald Glover, aka Childish Gambino. This dude had an incredible night, man. Shiiiit, if we’re counting his “Awaken, My Love!” album and his soon-to-be stint as Star WarsLando Calrissian, Glover had an incredible 2016, son. In any case, not only did he win the award for Best Actor – Musical or Comedy, but his show, Atlanta, also won Best Series – Musical or Comedy.

Keeping it a buck, Atlanta and Issa Rae’s Insecure were my two favorite shows of the past year. Both Glover and Rae made shows that were unapologetically Black and dared the mainstream to get onboard. Keep in mind, when I say “unapologetically Black,” I’m not referring to any stereotypical depictions of Black people. Both shows displayed the nuances of our community and depicted the fact that we’re not all a monolith. So, with a show like Atlanta being respected, it shows us all that we don’t have to dilute ourselves for recognition.

Moving on, let’s get to these movies, son. All I know is, all praises are due to Viola Davis and Moonlight. Davis won the award for Best Supporting Actress – Drama, Musical or Comedy for her role in Fences and Moonlight won Best Motion Picture – Drama. Now, even though I believe Davis should’ve been in the Best Actress category, it’s about time Hollywood recognized she’s one of the best in the game. She’s been a deity for quite some time now, man. They’re officially late to the party, son.

Also, to keep it going, Moonlight was the best movie I watched last year. If we’re being real, homosexuality can be a taboo subject in the Black community. However; this film does any amazing job of chronicling a man’s journey through self-realization and self-acceptance. There was nothing cliché about the storyline and it’s impossible to not be emotionally invested in the characters. Side note, I love absolutely EVERYTHING about Janelle Monáe. I’d find a way to marry her if my wife wouldn’t kill me first.

In the end, while we don’t need Hollywood’s acceptance to do great work, it’s still good to see them acknowledge our awesomeness. With or without their help, we need to continue pushing OUR art forward and telling OUR stories. That’s the only real way to shape our own narrative. Once again, congrats to all of last night’s winners, man. Good day.

P.S. I hate to end this post on a critical note, but someone tell the Golden Globes that Hidden Figures and Fences are two different movies. No, White people, we don’t all look alike and we don’t all act in the same movies. That is all.

P.P.S. Shout-out to Glover again for showing love to Migos‘ “Bad and Boujee“. That song is without a doubt the most enjoyable thing on the planet right now. Rain drop… LC out.