Remy Ma Just Played Herself

*Sigh* Man, didn’t I JUST give Remy Ma her just due? Didn’t I JUST proclaim that she bodied Nicki Minaj? Everything was all good less than a week ago when “ShEther” was the only diss track floating around the internet. However; just like that, Remy let Nicki back in the game, son. After the release of “Another One,” her second diss track, Remy might’ve killed her own momentum. Yeah, the song was that bad, man. It was that damn bad.

Now, ever since the weekend, everyone has wondered if Nicki would respond. In addition, social media has broken out into a civil war, with Nicki’s Barbz in a deadlock with Remy’s… Wait, what do we call Remy’s fans? Nah, I’m not being a dick, son. I’m asking a legitimate question. I have no idea what’s applicable here. In any case, I’ve seen hoards of people argue over wholly irrelevant details. Listen, Nicki’s looks, net worth and chart success have nothing to do with Rap skills, man. Anyway, people talk about hits as if “All The Way Up” wasn’t ringing off all 2016.

Moving on, instead of joining in on the festivities, Nicki has made it her mission to act as if nothing is bothering her. She’s posting pic after pic on Instagram as if we’re not looking at her with The Rock eyebrow. All I know is, filming a video with Future won’t stop the slander, son. It’s real out here on these internet streets.

With all of that being said, Remy had the upper hand, man. Well, that was until last night. I’m sorry, but this “Another One” song is weak as hell, son. The beat is meh, the flow is meh, the punchlines are meh and she makes too many references to Drake‘s “Back To Back.” Look, bringing attention to another artist’s diss song doesn’t make a new diss song any more effective. Instead of stealing Drake’s swag, she should’ve thought of more heinous shit to say to Nicki. The way I see it, Remy wasted all of her ammo in “ShEther.” It doesn’t seem like she has anything else to say about Nicki.

Ultimately, Nicki’s in a good position right now. On the real, I wouldn’t be surprised if she finally fires back at Remy. Instead of directly responding to “ShEther,” Nicki can just respond to “Another One” and catch a W. All in all, Remy’s clearly never heard the phrase “quit while you’re ahead.” Damn shame, son. In any case, back to our regularly scheduled program. LC out.

This Future ‘HNDRXX’ Album Is Flames!

So, anyone who regularly reads this blog knows that I’m a huge Future fan. It should also be known that I’m currently the treasurer of #FutureHive. To be real, he and I normally get into arguments about his lean budget, but that’s neither here nor there. In any case, when he dropped his FUTURE album two weeks ago, I was a little disappointed. I didn’t see any evolution in the music. The album sounded like it could’ve been just a random mixtape. Little did we know, he was about to release an atom bomb the next week. Ultimately, if DS2 is the pinnacle of rapping Future, then HNDRXX is the pinnacle of singing Future.

Now, before I continue, let me make a few things clear. No, Future doesn’t reeeeeally sing. I mean, we can all hear the saturation of Auto-Tune on his voice. However; even when an artist can’t sing, finely-tuned ears can hear when they have a knack for melody. Plainly put, Future makes catchy shit, son. It takes talent to routinely make songs that stick in people’s heads. So, no, he’s not a rapper or singer in the purest sense. But, I always find myself vibing to his jams.

With all of that being said, this HNDRXX album has some of his best written songs. Look, son, if anyone can’t jam to “Use Me,” “Incredible,” “Fresh Air” or “Neva Missa Lost,” I’m going to judge their ability to feel. That’s right, I said it, son. Big whoop, wanna fight about it? Anyway, the melodies on these tracks are strong as shit, man. “Neva Missa Lost” is getting the most rotation right now because he successfully repurposed a melody from Jodeci‘s “My Heart Belongs to U.” This type of shit matters to me because Jodeci is my favorite R&B group of all-time. Since Future was able to interpolate that song without making me hate him, I have to give him his props.

Ok, my Stan-ning is over for today, son. All I’m saying is, give the album a chance. Look, LC would never steer anybody wrong, bro. Well, unless if I’m being asked whether or not it’s a good idea to play Flip Cup with 151. Of course it is, man! Good day.

Scottie Pippen Needs To Put Them Paws On Future

Ok, let’s skip the formalities, son. Scottie Pippen needs to beat the breaks off of Future, man. Blatant disrespect should never be tolerated, especially when it comes to a man’s wife. Now, yes, I’m aware of the alleged fuckery that transpired between Future and Scottie’s wife, Larsa Pippen. However; if the Pippen’s decide to work on their marriage, then Future needs to sit his lean-sipping ass down. If not, then he needs to be prepared to catch the fade from Scottie.

Now, before I continue berating Future, let me address Scottie. After Larsa was seen galavanting around town with Future, I thought Scottie was BUGGING for taking her back. I mean, cheating, or alleged cheating, is bad enough, son. However; making a significant other look like a dumbass in public is a completely different beast, man. As a married man, I can honestly say, if I saw visible evidence of my wife’s infidelity, I’m catching a case, bruh. Her and I can talk about a possible reconciliation after I put both hands, feet, elbows and knees on that other man. Look, I would never hit a woman, but the side dude could get that Mike Tyson treatment.

In any case, I still understand why Scottie took his wife back. I mean, they’ve been married for 19 years, son. It’s difficult to just end a relationship that has endured for that long. With that being said, I won’t judge Scottie for working through his marital issues. Shit, him and his wife have four kids too. A split could cost him a shitload of money, bruh. It’s much cheaper to keep her, man. Isn’t that what they all say?

Moving on, here’s where Future truly fucked up. Now, smashing a married woman is bad enough, son. But, if she’s clearly trying to work it out with her husband, then go have a stadium of seats, bruh. Instead, Future decided to crank the frivolous meter to ten. Just this past weekend, when Larsa posted a selfie on Instagram, Future left a heart emoji and the word “forever” in the comments section. Bruh, what? What?! See, that’s the type of shit that warrants an open palm slap. It’s bad enough that he was publicly hopping out of cars with Larsa, man. Now, he wants to rub salt on the wounds for the world to see. Look, if Scottie put his entire shin bone in Future’s ass, he would be well within his rights, son.

On the real, this type of fuck shit is probably why Ciara left his ass to go and prosper with Russell Wilson. At some point, the childish antics have to cease, man. This dude is 33 years old, son! How does he have this much time to be so petty? Keep in mind, I’m the treasurer of #FutureHive, but I can’t condone the nonsense, kid. Enough is enough.

In the end, fan or not, Future needs to get this work, man. Just let Scottie get his “five minutes” and then everyone can go about their respective business. It’s the right thing to do, son. LC out.

P.S. There’s a rumor going around that Future smashed Larsa because Scottie refused to sign an autograph for him back in the day. If there is ANY truth to this story, then Future is officially the most petty dude to ever breathe air and walk the planet Earth. Honestly, I hope this tale is true because it would be fucking HILARIOUS, son! That is all.

A ‘Not Really A Review’ Review Of The Weeknd’s ‘Starboy’

So, in my eyes, this post is not really a review of The Weeknd‘s new Starboy album. Instead, I simply just want to talk about some of my favorite songs, son. It’s really that simple, man. Now, I’m not a complete Stan for every song on this album, but shiiiiit, there are some JAMS on here, bro! With that being said, let’s go through some of them.

First, I want to break these songs into tiers. For me, there are three tiers: “Fucking Unimpeachable,” “I Rock With These” and “Meh.” I’m only going to talk about the first two tiers, though. There’s really no sense in talking about the songs I’m kind of indifferent about. So, let’s start with “Fucking Unimpeachable,” son. In my eyes, and ears, there are four songs in that tier: “Starboy,” “Party Monster,” “Six Feet Under” and “Die for You.” Add up the Daft Punk 808‘s on “Starboy,” the EVERYTHING on “Party Monster,” the Future harmonies on “Six Feet Under” and the chorus on “Die for You” and we get fucking perfection, man. Literal perfection, bro.

Now, the songs in my “I Rock With These” tier are “Rockin'”, no pun intended, “Sidewalks” and “A Lonely Night.” To me, it’s no coincidence that superproducer Max Martin is responsible for two of these records. Side note, I want everyone to go and Google his name before continuing this post. I mean, that dude has produced damn near EVERY hit song since the late 1990‘s. This includes The Weeknd’s own number-one hit, “Can’t Feel My Face.” The wildest part is, I’m not even slightly exaggerating about this. He’s owned the Billboard Hot 100 for the last twenty years, man. In any case, add up the synth arpeggio/chorus on “Rockin'”, the guitars on “Sidewalks” and the hook on “A Lonely Night” and that satisfies my jam criteria, son.

In the end, that’s just how I feel, man. I fucks with this album, bro. Now, is it like his previous albums? Not really, but who really cares, though? He couldn’t be the dark room and cocaine cowboy forever, son. Let that man cook with his Pop stardom. Good day.

A Message To Rappers With ‘Lil’ In Their Names

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Look, no matter how objective I am in this post, I know some people out there will call me a hater. Sadly, that’s how shit works in our current world. Any time someone has an opinion about something, they’re automatically labeled a hater. With that being said, fuck all of that because I have something to get off of my chest. So, I’m dedicating this post to some of these new rapper with “Lil” in their names.

Now, while I’ve already mentioned this on my blog before, I’ll freely admit I’m a 30-year-old Black dude. Actually, I’m lying, son. I just had a birthday a couple of week ago, so I’m 31 now. In any case, I still consume Rap music at a furious pace. Judging from my socially conscious and political material, it would be safe to assume I’m a big fan of artists like Kendrick Lamar and J. Cole. However; I’d be remiss if I didn’t speak about the virtues of Rae Sremmurd‘s sermons and also mention the fact I’m the treasurer of the FutureHive. I say all of that to say I have no beef with the current state of music. Well, I have SOME beef, but we can speak about that another time. In actuality, the main problem I have with some of these younger dudes is their plain lack of respect for the artists and producers who came before them. If anyone let them tell it, they’d probably insinuate that they’ve reached stardom completely independent of their predecessors.

To keep it all of the way trill, in this particular post, I’m specifically speaking about Lil Uzi Vert and Lil Yachty. While I’d never tell their fans to dismiss their music, I have a major gripe with the way they’ve responded to their musical elders. First, let me start with Lil Uzi. In an interview with Ebro In The Morning on Hot 97, my mind was blown when I saw Vert’s reaction to Ebro asking him to rhyme over a DJ Premier beat. Ok, I get it, this instrumental probably came out when he was a baby, but the look of disdain and confusion on his face was thoroughly baffling to me. Architects like Preemo were vital to the growth of Rap music, not only musically but also business wise. There was a time when ALL of the biggest rappers HAD to have a Premier beat in order for their album to be official. It’s perfectly ok for the sonic quality of an art form to evolve, but how dare this kid judge a legend of Preemo’s caliber! Ultimately, Uzi WISHES his legacy will last as long as his. Someone tell that dude to holla back in five years and see if he’s even still popping. By then, he’ll probably already be the “old shit” he’s looking down on now.

Next, let’s talk about Lil Yachty. In an interview with Real 92.3, Yachty went on a tangent about the irrelevance of having a “cold 16” and telling “old people” to get over the fact the music has changed. He went even further to let us know that no one was doing “spin moves on cardboard” anymore and he could make a hot song just saying “yah.” Ok, now, where do I start? First, this dude essentially said a rapper doesn’t actually need to be good at rapping anymore. Then, he randomly criticized breakdancing. Shit, that’s already two of the four original elements of Hip Hop, man! I’m surprised he didn’t turn around and tell his DJ he wasn’t shit.

Look, like I said regarding Uzi, there’s nothing wrong with progression. The issue here is these younger dudes literally have no respect for anyone who paved the way for them. Do they think they invented 808‘s or getting turnt? Hell, Juicy J had me wanting to fight people in the club since the ’90s, son. Show some fucking reverence for the people who laid the foundation. Because news flash to these newer artists: there’s literally NOTHING happening out here that doesn’t have an origin in something that preceded it.

In the end, I’ll keep playing my Trap music at ignorant levels in the car. Well, not Uzi or Yachty because I truthfully thought their music sucked even before they made their dumbass comments. Tell them to come talk to me when they’ve had a career even remotely as long as the artists they’re dissing. Good day.