The Most Hoe-ified Boxer Ever

So, I won’t lie, son. I’m only writing this post so I can make fun of Curtis Harper, man. I mean, I’ve literally NEVER seen a boxer walk out of the ring AFTER the opening bell, fam. At this point, I don’t want to hear any of his excuses, bruh. Shit, let’s just call a spade a spade, brethren. Real talk, Harper was scared of getting knocked out by Efe Ajagba. Any other explanation is straight nonsense, folks.

Ok, for those who missed it, Harper and Ajagba were supposed to fight this past Friday night. Look, this bout was such a done deal that both fighters actually made it into the ring. Now, this is where things get confusing and hilarious, son. After touching gloves and hearing the hell, Harper straight walked out of the ring and went back to the locker room, man. As expected, the fans unceremoniously booed him as he made his cowardly journey to the back of the building.

Now, according to Harper, he left to “make a statement.” Apparently, he wasn’t happy with his contract and felt like he deserved more money. Listen, there are a TON of reasons why that’s pure bullshit, fam. First, he signed the fucking contract! Hell, if he wasn’t happy with his pay, then why did he sign on the doted line? On the real, that’s his fault now. He should’ve made a better decision before he agreed to the fight. Second, before this disqualification loss, he lost two of his last three fights. Why the fuck would he think he deserved more, bruh? Lastly, his opponent, Ajagba, won all of his previous fights by knockout. As a matter of fact, almost all of those matches ended in the first round.

With all of that being said, Harper was just scared, son. He knew he was gonna get knocked the fuck out and didn’t feel like the money was enough. Frankly, that’s a hoe ass hoe move and this will probably end Harper’s career. Shit, ain’t nobody gonna book a dude who will straight ghost on a fight IN THE MIDDLE OF THE FUCKING FIGHT! *Sigh* Smart move, genius.

In the end, everyone can watch a video of Harper’s sucker-ness below. Ultimately, it was comical to watch a grown man display such herb-ery, man. By and by, this is how Harper will be remembered as a boxer, fam. Like, losing is one thing, but being a coward is unforgivable, bruh. At the end of the day, I hope it was worth it, Harper. That is all. LC out.

Get Michael Vick The F*ck Outta Here!

Man, let’s just get straight to the point here. Michael Vick is the LAST human being who should be advising Colin Kaepernick on ANYTHING, son. Like, this dude can’t be fucking serious, man! Now, maybe Vick is trying to play nice since a dark cloud has followed his entire NFL career. However; the mere suggestion that a haircut would improve Kaepernick’s standing shows that he’s an unadulterated clown. Fam, someone please get Michael Vick the fuck outta here!

So, the tomfoolery began when Vick appeared on Fox Sports 1‘s Speak for Yourself show. When the discussion turned to how Kaepernick could get another job in the league, Vick said the following:

The first thing we got to get Colin to do is cut his hair. I don’t think he should represent himself in that way in terms of the hairstyle. Just go clean cut. Why not? Perception and image is everything. I love the guy to death, but I want him to succeed in and off the field, and this has to be a start for him.”

Wait, what? Huh? How exactly is he representing himself, Vick? Last time I checked, that’s how hair grows out of a Black person’s scalp. So, is he insinuating that there’s something wrong with the natural state of his hair? Ohhhh, I get it! “Clean cut” is just another way of saying “acceptable for White people.” Yeah, I see what Vick is doing here. Basically, if Kaepernick wants another shot at football, he needs to appease the owners and the coaches. The same individuals who don’t understand his cause in the first place. Shit, fantastic advice, Vick!

To be clear, Kaepernick’s current status isn’t about his ability. Now, is he an elite quarterback? No. But, can someone honestly say that out of the 100+ total QB roles in the league, he can’t lock down ONE roster spot? Man, give me a fucking break, son! This man has played in a Super Bowl, fam! I don’t buy that line of reasoning at all, man.

The fact of the matter is, the powers that be hate what he stands for and don’t want to deal with him. Plain and simple, bruh. Hell, one NFL executive compared Kaepernick to Rae Carruth, a former player who MURDERED A WOMAN! Somehow, kneeling for the National Anthem is equivalent to homicide, man. With that being said, Vick’s comments are completely rooted in racial conditioning. He’s conditioned to think that Black people need to behave in a certain way to be welcomed by White people. By and by, fuck ALL of that, son!

In the end, Michael Vick has some nerve, fam. Frankly, ever since his dog fighting scandal, White people have hated him everywhere he went. Ultimately, the Black community has been the entity who has continued to champion him. In my eyes, he’s spitting in our faces by taking this stance. All in all, I hope he eventually learns the gravity of his fuckery. LC out.

P.S. Kaepernick is righteously petty for tweeting the definition of Stockholm syndrome. In the spirit of Bruce Lee, that’s the art of fighting without fighting. That is all.

Get Jason Whitlock The F*ck Outta Here!

Ok, to be clear, I don’t like Jason Whitlock, son. On the real, in addition to his preposterous social commentary, his sports analysis is also pretty trash. However; I’m not here to talk about some basketball “hot take” right now. In actuality, Whitlock needs to get flamed for the fuck shit he said about LeBron James and racism. Ultimately, these networks need to stop letting their “token” Black guys speak for the community. All I know is, Jason Whitlock doesn’t speak for me or anyone who thinks like me.

Now, for anyone who missed it, LeBron made the news the other day for something outside of ball. Apparently, some piece of shit racist thought it was a good idea to write “nigger” on his Los Angeles home. Thankfully, neither he or his family were present. Anyway, after this ordeal, LeBron was very candid with the media about the ramifications of this act. He spoke about how racism will always be a problem in America, regardless of an individual’s monetary status. In any case, with all of that being said, Jason Whitlock found a way to disagree.

So, in response to LeBron’s comments, Whitlock asserted that LeBron doesn’t face racism because he’s rich. Apparently, when a minority adds a couple of zeroes to their net worth, prejudice and bigotry just magically disappear. I guess Whitlock is not familiar with the story of Dr. Dre being falsely accused of brandishing a gun and getting handcuffed in his own driveway. I guess he’s not familiar with the story of Wyclef Jean getting handcuffed in a case of mistaken identity. I guess he’s not familiar with the story of Just Blaze getting pulled over by police and questioned about the “legitimacy” of his vehicle. Nah, I guess rich Black people never have any problems at all, son.

Listen, I’m not going to be the one to sit here and pretend like rich people deal with the same issues as the disenfranchised. However; material possessions don’t change people’s viewpoints. If a White person hates minorities, a bank account statement is not going to change that. In fact, writing “nigger” on LeBron’s house is a reminder that his money doesn’t matter. In the heart of the person who wrote it, LeBron is still considered “less than.” So, cut the fucking shit, Whitlock!

In the end, Black people like Jason Whitlock make me sick. If he doesn’t want to engage in racial issues, then just shut the fuck up, man! Clearly, we don’t need him on our journey towards equality. By and by, like LaVar Ball said, Whitlock shouldn’t comment on “anything but snacks.” Now, I’ll just sit back and let the “body shaming” brigade come and get me for that last comment. LC out.

Racism, As Told By Lil Wayne

*Sigh* Do I really have to do this again, son? Didn’t I explain this already in “Money Can’t Buy ‘Woke’“? Wait, didn’t I also cover this in “Can I Live In Cam Newton’s America?” Seriously, what in the flying fuck is wrong with some of our Black celebrities, man? Their monetary privilege has blinded them so much that they simply can’t seem to relate to others who aren’t as fortunate. Well, all I know is, I wouldn’t be doing my job if I let this stupidity slide. With that being said, let’s get to it.

Now, Lil Wayne was recently on Skip Bayless’ new sports show, Undisputed, and decided to hit the world with his hot take on race relations. According to him, not only has he never experienced racism in his entire life, but he also doubts prejudice even exists because the crowds at his concerts are mostly White.

So, let me get this straight, son. Simply because Todd and Rachel know the words to his songs, racial injustice is just a figment of our collective imaginations? Well, shit, why didn’t someone tell me sooner, son? If I knew that’s all it took to abolish racism, I would’ve dropped my album ages ago! Here I was thinking someone from New Orleans would be aware of racial bias, but little did I know, idiocy knows no bounds, man. I guess we should completely forget the fact his OWN city was destroyed by a hurricane and the government didn’t think to send aid for multiple days. His OWN people suffered under these conditions but racism doesn’t exist. Ok, Wayne. Ok, son.

Now, to be honest, I’ll be the first to admit, I can’t speak for another human being’s experience. Maybe, in his mind, he’s never directly experienced racism. However; even if that’s the case, is he really unaware of what’s happening in the rest of the country? Is he really unaware of our people’s economic condition, our peril at the hands of the prison industrial complex and the countless episodes of police brutality? As always, it’s baffling when notable Black people can’t see what’s happening around them simply because it doesn’t necessarily affect THEIR daily lives.

Look, let me keep it all of the way real, son. The fact of the matter is, if a Black celebrity can’t empathize with the treatment of other minorities because of their own personal privilege, then they’re no better than the White naysayers who completely disregard racial prejudice. In addition, when people like Wayne and Cam Newton make these type of comments, it gives detractors enough confirmation bias to not see the need to improve race relations in this country. With that being said, I can’t emphasize enough how damaging this type of rhetoric is.

In the end, all I know is, I’m not going to listen to a man’s opinion about race when that same man has a documented history of disrespecting dark-skinned women. Oh, of course Wayne doesn’t see racism, because he’s too busy hating on his own people. Massa got Wayne good, son. Real good. Man, get these cartoonish fucking celebrities out of my face, son. Good day.