Greg Gianforte: The Stone Cold Steve Austin Of Politics

Bruh, what manner of fuckery is this? I mean, is this how our politicians are getting down now? Look, I know we’re in the age of Donald Trump, but there has to be a limit to the foolishness, right? Son, Greg Gianforte really just took a hatred of the press to the next level. For a moment, he forgot he was running for Congress and took up Stone Cold Steve Austin‘s mantle. All I know is, I’m not sure how practicing wrestling moves can help a campaign.

Now, I won’t lie, son. When I first heard the story I’m about to tell, I laughed. Like, I couldn’t fathom the idea of a politician doing what Gianforte did, man. So, for those who are unaware, Gianforte physically attacked a reporter. It all began when Ben Jacobs, a journalist from The Guardian, walked into Gianforte’s campaign headquarters and put a recorder in front of Gianforte. Apparently, he wanted to know Gianforte’s take on the latest Congressional Budget Office report. This newly-released document stated that 23 million people would lose health insurance under the recently-approved American Health Care Act. Needless to say, Gianforte wasn’t thrilled by the question.

From there, Gianforte grabbed Jacobs by the neck, body slammed him and then started punching him in the face. Now, how do we know all of this? Because Alicia Acuna, a Fox News reporter, was one of the people in the room when the assault occurred. Meaning, they were able to refute Gianforte’s claim that Jacobs was physically aggressive towards him. All in all, Gianforte went into Wolverine berserker mode and started bugging out on Jacobs.

Man, what in the fuckity-fuck is good in these streets? Son, this dude is running for Congress? Like, he’s trying to be down with the House of Representatives? For real?! How the fuck can anyone in Montana vote for this dude if he behaves like this? How can this man be trusted by anyone? For God‘s sake, he attacked a man for asking him a question! How does that action exude any type of leadership or self-control? At this point, Montana should be ashamed of themselves if they elect this clown. Hell, he was just arrested for what he did to Jacobs. Ultimately, he doesn’t deserve a seat in the House, fam.

In the end, our political system has gone to Hell, son. Listen, I literally can’t guess what will happen next with our elected officials. Seriously, everyone has lost their fucking minds around here. At this rate, I might really have to run for office, man. I mean, I’m competent enough, right? Right?! Yeah, I thought so. LC out.

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Good Riddance, Bill O’Reilly!

Ahh, what a beautiful day, son. Well, it’s raining here in New York, but it’s still a beautiful day nonetheless. I mean, waking up knowing that Bill O’Reilly is unemployed is a wonderful feeling, man. Look, after two decades of spewing nothing but hate, O’Reilly is finally getting his just due. Listen, keeping it a buck, he could very well reclaim a spot on someone’s television screen. However; for now, I’m going to bask in the glory of O’Reilly being fired by Fox News.

Now, all I want to know is, why the fuck did this take so long, son? On the real, O’Reilly’s brand is completely based on bigotry. This is the same man who said Trayvon Martin was shot because he was wearing a hoodie. This is the same man who likened gay marriage to interspecies marriage. This is the same man who got Ludacris dropped from a Pepsi campaign because of his “disrespect of women.” Side note, don’t worry, we will get to why that’s the most RIDICULOUS thing to ever occur.

In any case, this is also the same man who defended the treatment of slaves who built the White House. Hell, I even wrote about that fuckity-fuck shit last year, son. All in all, O’Reilly’s axing has been years in the making, man. Frankly, I’m shocked it took this long to get his ass off the air, bruh.

Moving on, O’Reilly is finally having his day in the sun because he can’t seem to stop harassing women. Now, anyone who’s familiar with O’Reilly’s history knows about Andrea Mackris‘ lawsuit. Back in 2004, she accused O’Reilly of making frequent sexual advances towards her over the phone. Ultimately, she settled out of court for about $9 million.

From there, O’Reilly settled another harassment case with Juliet Huddy for $1.6 million. Now, when we add on lawsuits from Rebecca Diamond, Laurie Dhue and Wendy Walsh, we start to see a dangerous pattern: O’Reilly consistently violated women and Fox News always paid to get him off of the hook. In total, the network paid $13 million to save their golden boy.

Look, if all of this wasn’t bad enough, the flood gates opened when an independent law firm got involved. Fox News hired Paul, Weiss, Rifkind, Wharton & Garrison to look into Walsh’s allegations. In addition, The New York Times got wind of all of the settlements and blew the story up. After all of the public tomfoolery, O’Reilly’s show lost about 60 advertisers. All I know is, victory tastes sweet, son. I bet Maxine Waters is somewhere doing cartwheels right now.

In the end, fuck Bill O’Reilly and all of his supporters. Man, it’s absolutely thrilling to see him fail, son. All in all, I don’t want to see or hear anybody try to defend this man. Anybody who abuses women as much as O’Reilly has doesn’t deserve any sympathy. At this point, Donald Trump is probably the only idiot who’s still backing him. I mean, what should we expect from a man who likes to just grab women’s genitals? Yeah, I thought so, son. LC out.

Get United Airlines The F*ck Outta Here!

Really, United Airlines? Like, REALLY, United Airlines?! This is how y’all get down, son? Dragging a paying customer off of an airplane is the wave now? Man, after I saw the video of David Dao’s “removal” from a Chicago flight, I was fucking baffled, bruh. I mean, is this why we pay airline companies? To have them treat us like the prison guards treated Bogs Diamond in The Shawshank Redemption? Look, all I know is, regardless of the overbooking dilemma, Dao paid for his seat. He should have NEVER had to face this level of disrespect and injustice.

So, the whole issue started when a flight from Chicago to Louisville was overbooked. Now, anyone who has ever taken a flight should be relatively familiar with an airline’s overbooking policy. Essentially, to account for individuals who may flake out on their flight, airlines overbook to ensure all airplane seats are full. In theory, it makes sense, but of course, there can be hiccups. Needless to say, there was a HUGE hiccup on this particular flight. All in all, there were too many people on the plane and someone needed to get off.

Now, as expected, no one willingly volunteered to leave. I mean, who really wants to wait for another flight, son? Look, if I’ve already settled into my seat, I’m not getting off of the plane. In my eyes, the airline should’ve figured this out before I buckled my seatbelt. In any case, David Dao must’ve felt the same way. However; the airline had a completely different take on the situation. Ultimately, they instructed Dao to get off and wait for another flight. When he refused to go, three security guards literally dragged him off of the aircraft. Apparently, Dao’s money wasn’t enough to avoid getting his ass kicked by United Airlines personnel.

Moving on, Oscar Munoz, the CEO of United Airlines, sounded a lot like the police in his response to the situation. As justification for his employees’ conduct, he stated that Dao was “disruptive and belligerent.” On the real, cops use these same keywords to justify why they put 20 bullets in an unarmed Black person. Look, anybody in Dao’s position would feel the same way. This man paid for his flight, sat in his seat and is now being told he has to go. Apparently, despite taking his money, United Airlines didn’t give a flying fuck about how this may have inconvenienced Dao. Shit, since he already paid, they probably figured they could do anything to him. In any case, this entire scenario is pure tomfoolery, son.

In the end, I hope Dao sues the paint off of United Airlines. Listen, any company that’s cool with this type of conduct needs to be taken down a few notches. Also, I hope Munoz loses his job. Keeping it a buck, he’s a piece of shit for his stance on all of this. In any case, I now know what airline I’m never using again. From here on out, United Airlines can suck a bag of dicks, word to Louis CK. LC out.

P.S. Once again, the media is doing its best to throw the victim under the bus. Ever since Dao’s identity was revealed, several outlets have reported on his questionable history. Man, get the fuck outta here with that bullshit, son! What does a previous drug case have to do with THIS situation? Why doesn’t the news ever focus on the matter at hand? Regardless of what this man was previously accused of, that still didn’t give the airline the right to physically assault him. *Sigh* Ok, I’m done now. Good day.

P.P.S. A major, MAJOR fuck you to Bill O’Reilly for laughing at David Dao’s plight. I swear, for someone who loves sexually harassing women, he really operates like his shit doesn’t stink. Well, I hope he’s still laughing after the remainder of his advertisers drop him. That is all.

Ted Koppel Is A G… Ask Sean Hannity

Man, I rock with Ted Koppel. Nah, for real, for real, I rock with Ted Koppel, son. After watching his interview with Sean Hannity on CBS Sunday Morning, I was excited to see an actual journalist deconstruct today’s media. As it currently stands, opinions have replaced facts in our news and it’s exceedingly dangerous, man. With that being said, I applaud Koppel for calling out Hannity to his face. However; Hannity and Fox News aren’t the only ones to criticize. In my eyes, MSNBCCNN and countless other “news” networks all share some of the blame. Ultimately, all opinion shows disguised as news are bad for America.

Now, I won’t lie, son, when it comes to this subject, I argue a lot with my wife and my mother. To me, I see no difference between Fox News and MSNBC. Yes, the ideology is drastically different between the two channels, but they both engage in the same brand of propaganda. All jokes aside, Bill O’Reilly and Chris Matthews are the same person, man. They both have definitive beliefs and they both refuse to listen to any guest with a conflicting point of view. Instead of acknowledging someone else’s sentiment, they’d rather just cut them off or speak over them. On the real, I challenge anyone to watch both of their shows back-to-back. Once their respective dogma is removed, it becomes apparent that their approach to “news” is strikingly similar.

Look, didn’t I just scold Rachel Maddow on this very site for engaging in the tomfoolery? I mean, she took two pages of Donald Trump‘s 2005 tax return and spun an entire story out of nothing. Outside of quoting how much money he made and how much he paid in taxes, Maddow had no other spec of news to report. She just launched a series of hypotheticals that were designed to create an unproven narrative in the audience’s mind. *Sigh* I just want the damn news, son! Can I get that without someone trying to shape how I’m supposed to interpret it?

Moving on, I just want to make one thing clear. Is my blog based on my own personal point of view? Absolutely. With that being said, I’m not a journalist, man. I’m just a dude with an opinion and immaculate WiFi, son. I’m simply out here reacting to the world as it happens. We, the people, need the media to tell us the unbiased truth. That’s the only way we can truly make sense of everything. All I know is, I’m a firm believer that opinion-based media is largely responsible for the division in our country. The public can’t come together when information is always being spun and misrepresented.

In the end, Ted Koppel is a G, man. He’s one of the few who’s able to call a spade a spade. Now, if more journalists took this stance on the news, then maybe we’d actually have a shot of figuring out what’s really going on out here. But, then again, in the words of Desus Nice, by Bronx bredren, facts don’t matter. LC out.

P.S. This is very random, but shout-out to Ghostface Killah, son. Look, the entire time I was writing this post, I kept hearing the line “hit mics like Ted Koppel” in my head. With that being said, everyone should go listen to “Mighty Healthy” after reading this. That is all.

Is Shepard Smith The Real MVP?

So, there are a few things I don’t believe I’ll ever see in life: a human being hit “The Note” from Sister Act 2, an actual album from Jay Electronica and someone from Fox News call Donald Trump out on his constant bullshit. Well, I guess I can cross one of those things off of the list, son. I mean, Shepard Smith just shocked the shit out of me yesterday. Watching him eviscerate Trump over his habitual fabrications was must-see-television, man! As expected, the Trump brigade is calling for his head as I write this. However; I’m ecstatic to finally see some GOP members grow a pair. Frankly, their party created Trump and it’s up to them to stop him.

Now, in case anyone missed it, Smith had one simple question for Trump: why does he tell SO MANY LIES? Smith brought up the fact that Trump can’t tweet or publicly speak without saying something wildly inaccurate. As an example, he referenced several statements that Trump made during his awkward ass press conference. He talked about the fact that Trump hasn’t given a good answer about what’s happening with Russia. Trump insists that his administration isn’t in cahoots with Vladimir Putin‘s, but if that was the case, then why was Michael Flynn fired?

Moving on, Smith also slammed Trump’s notion that he had the highest Electoral College victory since Ronald Reagan. Fuck semantics, that simply isn’t true, man. It shouldn’t matter whether or not someone is a Trump supporter, son. Facts are facts, regardless of how anyone feels about them. There is verifiable evidence to disprove A LOT of the information Trump spews into the mainstream. Smith is doing the right thing by taking Trump to task for his nonsensical ramblings.

Keeping it a buck, I was genuinely happy to see this, man. Like, at some point, even right-wing enthusiasts have to see the writing on the wall. Asking someone to be honest is not political, son. Trump is the fucking President, for God‘s sake! We don’t give a fuck about ratings, we don’t give a fuck about baseless claims of “fake news” and we don’t give a fuck about his fragile ego. We just want that man to do his fucking job. As it stands, he’s completely incapable of behaving as an elected official should, man. It’s actually frightening to watch, bruh.

Ultimately, we need more people like Smith. The more Republicans who hold Trump accountable, the better. Since they control Congress and will eventually control the Supreme Court, they’re our biggest line of defense. Keep in mind, I just threw up a little when I wrote that. However; it just is what it is, son. In any case, for today, and today only, Shepard Smith is the real MVP. LC out.

Say It With Me: Alexandre Bissonnette Is A Terrorist

So, it goes without saying, but the media is having a very hard time right now. Any time regular news outlets try to call Donald Trump and company out on their bullshit, they’re branded as “fake news.” On the real, the notion of “fake news” has become so prevalent these days, Trump is making it a point to bar his surrogates from even going on CNN. According to the White House, they don’t want to send their people to a place where they can’t promote their “agenda.” Those are actual words from an actual press release, son. Now, the wildest part of all of this is the fact that their preferred outlets are the biggest perpetrators of false reporting. Case in point, take a look at how Fox News and Breitbart News handled the Alexandre Bissonnette story.

Ok, before I continue, let’s make one thing clear: Bissonnette is a fucking terrorist. I’m not here to sugarcoat anything or downplay the situation. This coward walked into the Quebec Islamic Cultural Center this past Sunday, murdered six people and critically injured five others. Now, when Dylann Roof massacred nine people in South Carolina‘s Emanuel AME Church, we all rightfully mourned. However; I see no such empathy or sympathy for the Muslims who lost their lives in Canada. The hypocrisy is absolutely disgusting, man.

Look, make no mistake here. Bissonnette is a well-known sympathizer of all things racist, sexist and xenophobic. The people who know him describe him as a dude who was enthralled by Trump, Marine Le Pen and embraced far-right ideologies. In addition, he frequently made disparaging comments about immigrants and women on social media. With all of that being said, this fuckboy purposely went into that mosque to kill Muslims. THAT is an act of terrorism, plain and simple.

Now, when Fox News and Breitbart got a hold of this story, they were quick to label the possible suspect a man of “Moroccan descent.” Come to find out, the man they’re referring to is a witness who was helping authorities. Even after Canadian police officially shot down the erroneous story, Fox News didn’t immediately retract their false narrative. To make matters even worse, Breitbart is still insinuating that a Moroccan man carried out the attack. Keep in mind, Steve Bannon, the real President, is the former executive chair of Breitbart. To make matters EVEN WORSE, Sean SpicerU.S. press secretary, used this situation as justification for Trump’s Muslim Ban, despite the fact that a Muslim wasn’t even the fucking culprit!

Son, what planet are we living on right now?! I don’t want to hear shit about “fake news” anymore. We, the people, are watching facts and sensibility be destroyed right before our very eyes. Like, it’s getting to the point where it’s hard for me to focus, man. I truly can’t understand how some people don’t see the writings on the wall. *Sigh* All jokes aside, I’m starting to feel my depression creep back in. I need to get away from this fucking country, son. LC out.

Let’s All Laugh At Stacey Dash

Awwww, poor Lil Tink Tink! It’s a sad, sad day when someone COMPLETELY sells out for a paycheck and STILL loses their job. With that being said, I cannot stop chuckling at the fool we call Stacey Dash. Despite all of her coonery, buffoonery and tomfoolery on Fox News, this turd still got fired from her role on the network. I guess after Donald Trump‘s victory, they no longer need their resident Uncle Ruckus.

Now, before I continue making fun of Dash, let’s go through why it’s appropriate to roast her. As anyone can see from looking at a picture of her, Stacey Dash is CLEARLY a Black woman. However; for God knows what reason, she’s made it her life’s mission to speak AGAINST issues that impact women and the Black community. On the real, it’s fucking mind-boggling, son. She literally spent her tenure at Fox News speaking against any idea of racial or gender equality. With that being said, it’s no surprise that Fox made her the token Black poster child for their Birth of a Nation-like agenda.

Look, when I say she spoke against equality, I’m not being facetious. This is the same woman who argued that we need to get rid of the NAACP, Black History Month and BET. According to her, it’s a double standard for Black people to represent themselves, and it’s akin to segregation. In saying this, she completely ignored the fact that these brands were created because we weren’t being properly depicted by the White mainstream in the first place.

Honestly, the part that makes these comments even stupider is the fact that BET was the last company to give her consistent acting work. I guess she forgot about a little show called Single Ladies, son. Then again, I don’t blame her, man. I actually forgot about that show too. Nowadays, outside of a random role here or there, this chick can’t even get a steady gig anymore. Smart move, idiot.

Moving on, Dash has also proved she’s no ally of feminism either. Now, keep in mind this is a working woman. What kind of working woman would argue AGAINST equal pay? Like, huh? What? Does she enjoy making less than men for the same work? I don’t fucking get it, son. Back in 2015, during a discussion on The Meredith Vieira Show, she actually said that the fight for equal pay was an excuse. An excuse for what? Women wanting to be compensated appropriately. How can she speak so freely against her own interests? That’s like a dude with a rotting tooth arguing against the benefits of a root canal. I refuse to believe anyone can be that stupid, son. Then again, 62 million people voted for Trump. So, what do I know?

In the end, I take immense joy in knowing that Stacey Dash no longer has a job. She shucked and jived for all of the bigots on Fox News and has nothing to show for it. At this point, maybe she can get a job cleaning toilets for BET. They’re both full of shit anyway. Good day.

P.S. This ain’t got nothing to do with nothing, but sheesh, she was so bad back in the day, son. It’s a damn shame that the Black Don’t Crack gods took their magic away when she started being a dumbass. I guess I’ll just have to relish the good ol’ days, man. LC out.