Donald Trump Stole Kim Kardashian’s Shine

*Sigh* Is this what time it is, son? Cats can’t even watch the Super Bowl without seeing some bullshit, man? So, instead of just seeing the Kansas City Chiefs knock off the San Francisco 49ers, I also have to see Donald Trump trump up some nonsense, fam? All in all, it’s great that Alice Marie Johnson was granted clemency. However, it’s fucking disgusting that Trump removed Kim Kardashian‘s contribution in an effort to pander to Black people.

Ok, for those who missed it, Trump and company secured some ad time during last night’s Super Bowl. Anyway, in the commercial, Trump tried to highlight his “mark” on criminal justice reform. Essentially, he took sole credit for freeing Johnson, a Black woman who served 21 years in prison for a nonviolent drug offense. Now, I’m not a hater and I give props were necessary. But, Kardashian wasn’t mentioned AT ALL in the ad and SHE was the one who brought this case to the public’s attention.

Listen, regardless of whether people like her or not, Kardashian has made it a point to advocate for federal prisoners. Hell, in addition to Johnson, Kardashian has helped fund the 90 Days of Freedom Campaign, which has freed 17 more prisoners that I know of since last year. In any case, this isn’t some random cause that she just breezed by, bruh. With that being said, Johnson’s case only entered Trump’s orbit because of Kardashian’s notoriety and persistence. Yes, Trump had to sign on the dotted line, but let’s not pretend like this was part of his criminal justice platform. Frankly, as a Black person, the pandering is fucking gross, son.

In the end, I feel like that ad was more for White people than for Black people. Ultimately, I believe that Trump wants to show his base that he “cares about minorities.” However, we’re not as dumb as he might think we are, man. By and by, people like me can read right through the tomfoolery, fam. At the end of the day, a publicity stunt should never be confused with an actual movement, bruh. The truth is, Donald Trump never gave a fuck about Alice Marie Johnson, brethren. He just thought it would be a good way to ingratiate himself with the Black community. All I know is, it ain’t fucking work, dummy. That is all. LC out.

Thanks For The Rings, Eli Manning

So, I won’t lie, son. On the real, I have a love-hate relationship with Eli Manning, man. I mean, there was literally NO middle ground with him, fam. Like, he was either a terrible quarterback or a Super Bowl champion, bruh. Either way, I greatly appreciate everything he’s done for my New York Giants, brethren. With all of that being said, the man can finally rest.

Ok, for those who missed it, after 16 seasons in the NFL, Manning has decided to retire. Now, as a fan, it’s been a rollercoaster ride with Manning as our quarterback, son. Real talk, we never knew which version of him we would get from season to season. Shit, one year, he might throw damn near as many interceptions as touchdowns. The next year, he might beat Tom Brady, Bill Belichick and the New England Patriots for the title. All I know is, Manning was as likely to give me a heart attack as he was to give me joy, man. But, I wouldn’t trade those two rings for less panic, fam.

In the end, there’s nothing else to say, bruh. Ultimately, I want to wish Eli Manning a peaceful retirement. By and by, he may have been inconsistent at times, but he also reached the mountaintop more than once. At the end of the day, he’s a fucking winner, son. All I can say is, his accomplishments can never be taken away from him, man. That is all. LC out.

Sorry, I Don’t Trust The NFL, Jay-Z

So, let me begin this post by saying that I don’t know. Like, I don’t know the details of Jay-Z‘s deal with the NFL and I don’t know what the long-term effects will be. All I can say is, this entire scenario makes me feel uncomfortable, son. I mean, the NFL doesn’t have a strong history of giving a fuck about social issues, man. With that being said, am I really supposed to believe that they have the best intentions, fam? Sorry, but I’m not rolling yet, bruh.

Ok, for those who missed it, Jay-Z’s Roc Nation just signed an exclusive deal with the league. Based on their partnership, Jay-Z and company will help the NFL choose performers for various events during the season, including the Super Bowl. In addition, Roc Nation will help the league with their social justice efforts. Now, I won’t lie, son. On the real, I have a ton of fucking questions, man. First, since when did the NFL give a flying fuckity-fuck about social justice? Second, why wasn’t Colin Kaepernick factored into any of this “reform,” fam?

Look, from a business standpoint, this looks like a coup for Jay-Z. Shit, he essentially controls the league’s entertainment brand, bruh. But, on face value, it looks like he put commerce over protest, son. Listen, it’s now a well-known fact that the NFL blackballed Kaepernick for kneeling. As of this minute, he STILL doesn’t have a job playing football, man. Furthermore, he basically had to bring a lawsuit against the league to expose their injustice against him. All the while, Jay-Z was apparently working with the NFL behind the scenes. Hell, the rumor is that this deal was being crystalized over the past year. Meaning, while Kaepernick was literally fighting with the league, Jay-Z was secretly working with them. Nah, I don’t feel good about any of that, man.

To make matters worse, I didn’t like Jay-Z’s response to the initial criticism. Fam, he literally said “We forget that Colin’s whole thing was to bring attention to social injustice. In that case, this is a success. This is the next phase. There are two parts of protesting. You go outside and you protest, and then the company or the individual says, ‘I hear you. What do we do next?… So what are we gonna do? You know what I’m saying? Help millions and millions of people, or we get stuck on Colin not having a job.” Bruh, Jay-Z can’t decide what the “next phase” is. Especially not when the original protester is still being treated unfairly.

Son, Kaepernick’s suit against the NFL literally concluded this year. Am I supposed to believe that after battling that man for so long, the league is actually sincere about social justice? Frankly, it’s easy for Jay-Z to say that we’re “past kneeling.” Real talk, he’s not the one who’s had his career destroyed in the process. Man, there are still a ton of owners in the league, like Jerry Jones, who hated everything that Kaepernick represented. On top of that, the owners are the ones who really control Commissioner Roger Goodell. So, sorry if I don’t believe that they want to alter anything about how they do business.

In the end, I really wish that something positive comes out of this situation. However, I’m not getting my hopes up, fam. Ultimately, the NFL has shown on countless occasions that they don’t give a fuck about social issues, bruh. By and by, I think Jay-Z is being a little flippant with his reaction to people’s questions. At the end of the day, Kaepernick was trying to bring awareness to racial injustice in America. Keeping it a buck, I don’t see how planning a Super Bowl Halftime Show will help with that, son. But, only time will tell. Just please, don’t disappoint us, Jay-Z. That is all. LC out.

Go Listen To ‘The Receding Hairlines Podcast’

So, I’m going to keep this super short today, son. All folks need to know is, my dude Fabo has a podcast, man. That’s right, fam, alongside Sarge and Hutch, they collectively host The Receding Hairlines Podcast. Side note, I’ve been making fun of Fabo’s hairline for damn near 20 years. With that being said, I get a MAJOR kick out of the name of this podcast, bruh. Another side note, as a bald dude, I’m a huge hypocrite for making fun of anyone’s hairline. In any case, the podcast has a lot of sports debate, with a variety of real-life shenanigans thrown in for good measure. All in all, everybody needs to do the right thing and ride the wave. Anyway, the podcast can be found on iTunes, Spotify, Stitcher or anywhere else people listen to podcasts. Now, what else is there to say, brethren? Go listen to the cotdamn podcast! That is all. LC out.

When’s The Right Time To Protest, Dak Prescott?

So, I won’t lie, son. I truly, truly despise when people say that an NFL game isn’t the right time or place to protest. Well, when is the right time, huh? Where is the right place, huh? Huh, Dak Prescott? When is it most convenient for people to talk about racial inequality? Maaaan, someone get Prescott the fuck outta here, man! Shit, I understand that he wants to keep his job as the quarterback of the Dallas Cowboys. But, that doesn’t mean he has to shit on the players who choose to stand, or kneel, for something.

Ok, for those who missed it, Prescott just shucked and jived for Jerry Jones. Now, before I continue, I want everyone to read exactly what Prescott said. On the real, I don’t want to paraphrase anything, fam. I want to get his stance right before I flambé him. So, his thoughts are as follows:

I don’t think that’s the time or the venue to do so. The game of football has always brought me such a peace and I think it does the same for a lot of other people, people playing the game, people watching the game and any people that have an impact on the game. So, when you bring such a controversy to the stadium, to the field, to the game, it takes away. It takes away from the joy and the love that football brings a lot of people. I do exactly what I’m doing and what I stand by whether I was wearing the star or not, whether I was playing for Jerry Jones, Stephen Jones or any other owner. I believe in what I believe in and that’s that.

Oh, I’m sorry, Dak Prescott. I’m sorry that people speaking about injustice is getting in the way of a little football game. Like, is this dude fucking serious, bruh? Kudos to Prescott for finding “peace” on the football field. Guess who has a hard time finding peace in the United States, Prescott: minorities and people of color. Hell, the idea that a Black man in America would deem a peaceful protest “inappropriate” is beyond me, son. Real talk, he must be really scared of Jones taking his job, man.

Look, I feel like naysayers keep moving the goal post, pun intended. Like, it’s “inappropriate” to protest peacefully. Next, it’s “inappropriate” to protest during a specific time. Then, it’s “inappropriate” to protest in a specific place. Keeping it a buck, we all know what this is, fam. Frankly, bigots and sellouts don’t want to have to face the issues that we’re speaking about. The fact of the matter is, no time will ever be good enough to have this discussion. No place will ever be good enough to have this discussion. So, fuck how they feel, bruh! We’re going to deal with injustice now, whether these clowns like it or not.

In the end, fuck Dak Prescott, Jerry Jones, the Cowboys, the NFL and anybody who supports them. Ultimately, this league keeps proving that they don’t deserve our time, effort or money, son. By and by, Prescott better pray for a great season, man. At the end of the day, all of his cooning won’t save his job if he starts playing like shit. That is all. LC out.

Get Papa John’s The F*ck Outta Here!

So, I can’t even say that I’m surprised, son. I mean, Papa John’s has been trash forever, man. Shit, pick a category, fam: the company’s founder, John Schnatter, is a known bigot and their product is garbage. On the real, I haven’t eaten any of their basura since I slapped one of their delivery men during my junior year of college. Side note, don’t ever shove a box of pizza into my stomach, bruh. Bad things will happen. In any case, after Schnatter’s latest faux pas, it’s time to get the entire establishment the fuck outta here, folks!

Ok, for those who missed it, Schnatter got caught saying some fuckity-fuck shit on a conference call. So, the tomfoolery occurred when he tried to clear up some other nonsense he said. Now, if folks don’t remember, during the previous NFL season, Schnatter claimed that Papa John’s was losing revenue due to players kneeling during the National Anthem. Apparently, since Black players wanted to bring attention to our livelihood, folks didn’t buy more boxes of his subpar pizza.

Anyway, when asked how he’d separate himself from racist groups, Schnatter scoffed and said “Colonel Sanders called Blacks niggers.” Wait, what? What?! THAT’S his response, son?! So, because he didn’t use blatant racial slurs like KFC‘s founder, we should all just let him cook?! Maaaaan, if somebody doesn’t get this bozo the fuck outta my face! Like, on what planet is that an acceptable reply, fam? This dude really tried to use the “my racism isn’t as bad as his racism” defense, bruh. *Sigh* This can’t be life, brethren!

In the end, fuck Papa John’s as a staff, restaurant and as a motherfucking crew! And if you want to be down with Papa John’s, then fuck you too! Sorry, my bad, Tupac‘s “Hit ‘Em Up” will always be in my blood, son. Moving on, I’m happy that he’s stepping down from his position, man. Ok, yes, I know he still owns the largest percentage of the company. But, at least I don’t have to see his face or hear anymore of his bullshit, fam. Ultimately, I’ll take that as a small victory, bruh. That is all. LC out.

Racism, As Told By Lil Wayne

*Sigh* Do I really have to do this again, son? Didn’t I explain this already in “Money Can’t Buy ‘Woke’“? Wait, didn’t I also cover this in “Can I Live In Cam Newton’s America?” Seriously, what in the flying fuck is wrong with some of our Black celebrities, man? Their monetary privilege has blinded them so much that they simply can’t seem to relate to others who aren’t as fortunate. Well, all I know is, I wouldn’t be doing my job if I let this stupidity slide. With that being said, let’s get to it.

Now, Lil Wayne was recently on Skip Bayless’ new sports show, Undisputed, and decided to hit the world with his hot take on race relations. According to him, not only has he never experienced racism in his entire life, but he also doubts prejudice even exists because the crowds at his concerts are mostly White.

So, let me get this straight, son. Simply because Todd and Rachel know the words to his songs, racial injustice is just a figment of our collective imaginations? Well, shit, why didn’t someone tell me sooner, son? If I knew that’s all it took to abolish racism, I would’ve dropped my album ages ago! Here I was thinking someone from New Orleans would be aware of racial bias, but little did I know, idiocy knows no bounds, man. I guess we should completely forget the fact his OWN city was destroyed by a hurricane and the government didn’t think to send aid for multiple days. His OWN people suffered under these conditions but racism doesn’t exist. Ok, Wayne. Ok, son.

Now, to be honest, I’ll be the first to admit, I can’t speak for another human being’s experience. Maybe, in his mind, he’s never directly experienced racism. However; even if that’s the case, is he really unaware of what’s happening in the rest of the country? Is he really unaware of our people’s economic condition, our peril at the hands of the prison industrial complex and the countless episodes of police brutality? As always, it’s baffling when notable Black people can’t see what’s happening around them simply because it doesn’t necessarily affect THEIR daily lives.

Look, let me keep it all of the way real, son. The fact of the matter is, if a Black celebrity can’t empathize with the treatment of other minorities because of their own personal privilege, then they’re no better than the White naysayers who completely disregard racial prejudice. In addition, when people like Wayne and Cam Newton make these type of comments, it gives detractors enough confirmation bias to not see the need to improve race relations in this country. With that being said, I can’t emphasize enough how damaging this type of rhetoric is.

In the end, all I know is, I’m not going to listen to a man’s opinion about race when that same man has a documented history of disrespecting dark-skinned women. Oh, of course Wayne doesn’t see racism, because he’s too busy hating on his own people. Massa got Wayne good, son. Real good. Man, get these cartoonish fucking celebrities out of my face, son. Good day.