Don’t Tell Me You’re A Lakers Fan Now

So, he really did it, huh? LeBron James really signed with the Los Angeles Lakers, huh? Shit, after all of the theories and all of the speculation, he really moved to the Western Conference, huh? All in all, my least favorite part of being a basketball aficionado is about to go into overdrive, son: dealing with bandwagon fans. All I know is, I don’t want to hear ANY of these new motherfuckers try to convince me that they’re Lakers fans now, man.

Look, I may be wrong, but I feel like James is responsible for this new era of fandom. Like, instead of being fans of teams, people have become fans of players. Because of this, whatever team their favorite player is on, that’s the team these people root for. Hell, in James’s case, I’ve watched folks be Cleveland Cavaliers fans, then Miami Heat fans and back to Cavs fans. Real talk, they don’t know ANYTHING about these teams other than the fact that James was on them. In any case, despite the reality that it’ll irritate the SHIT out of me, I’m already preparing myself for these brand new Lakers “fans.”

In the end, the next NBA season is about to be WILD, fam! Ultimately, it looks like I’ll finally get my wish of seeing new teams in the Finals, bruh. All I can say is, James’s run of consecutive Finals appearances is over, son. I mean, there’s NO WAY he’s getting past the Golden State Warriors, man. Seriously, he has NO chance in the 9 Circles of Hell, fam.

As of right now, I’m picking Kevin Durant, Steph Curry and the Warriors to face Kyrie Irving and the Boston Celtics in the Finals. By and by, we’ll see how this Lakers experiment will work for James. The way I see it, he’s waiting for Kawhi Leonard to join him next year. For now, he’ll just have to put up with the shenanigans of Lonzo Ball and Kyle Kuzma. That is all. LC out.

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What The F*ck Was JR Smith Thinking?!

Man, last night’s game was CRAZY, son! On the real, game one of this year’s NBA Finals had one of the wildest finishes I’ve ever seen, man. All I know is, after all of the shenanigans, there’s only one question to ask, fam: what the FUCK was JR Smith thinking, bruh?! I mean, cotdamn, people! I can’t remember the last time I’ve witnessed such a lack of court awareness, folks. All in all, Smith, along with the referees, might’ve cost the Cleveland Cavaliers their ONLY shot at beating the Golden State Warriors.

Now, before I continue, I have to talk about the officiating, son. Look, I’m not one of those dudes who likes to blame the refs for how a game turned out, man. However, there were a couple of calls that ABSOLUTELY contributed to the Cavs’s loss, fam. First, there was the overturned charge on Kevin Durant in the fourth quarter. Listen, LeBron James was CLEARLY outside of the restricted area and KD barged right into him, bruh. Frankly, they originally got the call right when they called it on KD. But, they overturned it and it led to free throws for the Dubs. So, instead of the Cavs being up by two with the ball, it became a tied game, people. *Sigh*

Also, there was another time where George Hill legally slapped the ball out of KD’s hands. But, the refs called it a foul. Once again, this blunder led to free points for the Warriors. But, we can talk about that later, son. Anyway, let’s touch on how Smith fucked his own team, man. Now, with the Cavs being down 107-106 in the final minute, Hill got fouled and went to the free throw line. He made the first shot to tie the game. Then, he missed the second shot and Smith got the rebound right under the basket. Now, did Smith put up a layup? No. Did he give the ball to an open Hill? No. Did he give the ball to James? No. Instead, this fucking guy ran the clock out because he thought the Cavs were in the lead. Wait, what? WHAT?! Hell fucking nah, fam!

Listen, that type of fuckery is UNACCEPTABLE for a professional basketball player, bruh! Seriously, it’s his job to keep track of the score and keep track of the clock, bruh. The Cavs had a golden opportunity to win the game in regulation, but Smith squandered it, son. From there, the Cavs got their asses kicked in overtime and wasted a legendary 51-point performance from James. Keeping it a buck, the embedded picture above is exactly why James will probably leave Cleveland after the season, man. All I can say is, the organization better enjoy James’s greatness while they still can, fam.

In the end, Smith fucked up, bruh. Hill fucked up by missing that second free throw. Ultimately, I don’t know what else people want James to do, son. By and by, he does EVERYTHING in his power to put his team in a position to win, man. At the end of the day, SOMEBODY else is going to have to show up, fam. Honestly, that was the beauty of Kyrie Irving‘s game, folks. Shit, that dude ALWAYS showed up to play, people. At this point, a 1-8 3-point shooting performance from Kevin Love isn’t going to do it. Missing crucial free throws isn’t going to do it. Losing track of the damn score isn’t going to do it. *Sigh* I hope James has made his peace with a 3-6 Finals record, brethren. Hell, he can’t stop it now. That is all. LC out.

I Want The Cavaliers & The Warriors To Lose

Look, I know what everyone is thinking, son. I mean, based on the title, it may seem like I’m hating, man. But, before people try to take my head off, let me explain why I want the Cleveland Cavaliers and the Golden State Warriors to lose. Basically, as a lifelong basketball fan, I’m getting bored with the NBA, fam. Year after year, the same fucking teams go the Finals, bruh. All in all, I need some new shit to happen to keep my interest, folks.

Now, I won’t lie, son. I’ve actually felt this way for a little while, man. Listen, for the last seven years, it was a given that LeBron James and company were going to win the East. For the last few years, it was a given that Stephen Curry and company were going to win the West. From there, barring any random occurrences (like Draymond Green getting suspended in the 2016 Finals), it was a given that the Dubs were going to beat the Cavs. So, what does a dude like me have to look forward to, fam? On the real, we’re all just watching the same damn script, bruh. There’s no drama, no suspense and no thrill, people.

Listen, let me tell everybody how serious I am about wanting change. Now, I’m a New York dude through and through. Meaning, I hate ALL Boston teams with an undying passion. However, I’m so tired of the same matchups that I actually want the Celtics to beat the Cavs, son. Shit, does anyone know what that wish does to my soul, man? I’m actually rooting for a fucking team that I despise, fam. THAT’S how much I want things to be shaken up, bruh. All I know is, I’m going to have to repent to Yankees Jesus, folks.

In the end, my wish probably won’t come true, son. Ultimately, the Cavaliers and the Warriors will probably meet again in the Finals, man. Yes, I know that the Cavs just got trounced by the Celtics in Game 1. But, they’re going to have to beat LeBron three more times, fam. All I can say is, that’s a tall order for a young team, bruh. In addition, I don’t believe in the Houston Rockets‘s ability to beat GS, people. By and by, they’re going to have to show and prove before I believe the hype. In any case, I’ll see everyone in the Finals for part four of LeBron versus Steph and part three of LeBron versus Kevin Durant. LC out.

Tristan Thompson Is Out Here Wilin’

So, LeBron James needs to come get Tristan Thompson, son. I mean, homie is out here WILIN’, man! Like, did he not know he was 6’9″, fam? Shit, we can all see him, bruh! All I know is, Thompson seemingly has NO couth, folks. Hell, he’s out here cheating on Khloé Kardashian in the braziest ways possible, people. All in all, Thompson has two options: either stop cheating or learn to be waaaaay more incognegro about it. Side note, I’m aware of the fact that the former is the better option, brethren. I don’t need my wife plotting to murder me.

Ok, before I continue, allow me to briefly be insensitive. Now, I know that Khloé is pregnant right now. I know that this type of stress is bad for a growing baby. With that being said, I wish her and her child nothing but health. However; I don’t feel sorry for Khloé at all, son. Lest we forget, Thompson previously dated a woman named Jordan Craig. In addition, her ass was also SUPER pregnant when Thompson started bumping uglies with Khloé. So, am I supposed to sympathize with a woman who’s getting the same treatment she initially encouraged? Hell fucking nah, man! The way I see it, that’s a whole HEAP of karma for that ass, fam.

Anyway, let me get back to Thompson, bruh. All I can say is, that dude can’t even spell the word “discretion.” First, a video came out that showed him clubbing with a couple of women back in October. Now, at that time, Khloé was about three months pregnant. In any case, what was Thompson doing? Tonguing down chicks, motorboating them and letting them feel his crotch. Look, I’ve done some reckless shit in my life, but I’m not famous, son. This dumbass was doing all of this shit on camera, man! Fam, chill the fuck out! The tape is rolling!

Moving on, the Thompson Fuckery Train kept going as a new video surfaced with even more shenanigans. This time, here in New York, he was seen entering a hotel with Lani Blair, a bartender at Angel’s Strip Club. To make matters worse, she definitely had an overnight bag with her. Meaning, she was prepared to have her back blown out for an extended period of time. On the real, I feel like Thompson wanted to get caught, bruh. That’s the only way I could understand how he could be so openly careless. Keeping it a buck, I hope he’s ready for the slander he’s about to receive on Keeping Up with the Kardashians. At the end of the day, it didn’t work out so well for Lamar Odom, son.

In the end, I had a good ass time laughing at all of the tomfoolery, man. On top of that, the memes have been GOLD, fam! Ultimately, we’ll see how this story plays out, bruh. By and by, the last time he cheated like a madman, the Cleveland Cavaliers won the NBA Finals. Soooo, maybe LeBron should just let Thompson keep on cooking. Then again, what do I know, son? LC out.

LeBron James Traded EVERYONE!

Now, look, I don’t actually believe that LeBron James is single-handedly responsible for all of the Cleveland Cavaliers‘s moves before the NBA trade deadline. However; it’s just funnier to phrase it that way, son. With that being said, “The Land” OD’ed yesterday, man. I mean, I knew they were struggling and needed help. But, I never expected them to make so many damn changes in one shot. All in all, they had a BUSY ass day yesterday, fam!

So, let’s recap all of the tomfoolery that went down, bruh. Now, long story short, the Cavs no longer look like the Cavs we’re used to. Isaiah Thomas? Gone. Dwyane Wade? Gone. Derrick Rose? Gone. Iman Shumpert? Gone. Channing Frye? Gone. Jae Crowder? Gone. Lawrence Charles? Gone. Ok, maybe not me, but we all get the picture, son. Basically, the entire roster was sent to either the Miami Heat, Los Angeles Lakers, Utah Jazz or Sacramento Kings. In their place, the Cavs got back Jordan Clarkson, Larry Nance, Jr., George Hill and Rodney Hood.

Anyway, I’m not surprised that the Cavs made moves before the deadline. However; I’m surprised that they made so many moves, man. Listen, the Cavs sucked, fam. I mean, REALLY sucked, bruh. Keeping it a buck, this season gave me a whole new appreciation for Kyrie Irving. Shit, that man went to the Boston Celtics and made them legit title contenders. On the other hand, he left the Cavs in COMPLETE disarray, son. The way I see it, the Cavs had no chance of making it back to the Finals with their current team. Frankly, it was either do or die, man.

In the end, we’ll see if all of these trades make any damn difference. Ultimately, the Celtics are the team to beat in the East, fam. In any case, I still don’t see anyone beating the Golden State Warriors anyway. By and by, all of this commotion may be for nothing, bruh. At the end of the day, I’ll be watching, son. On the real, I’ve been waiting for the NBA to get more interesting. Hell, we can’t have the same ass teams competing for the chip every year, man. That is all. LC out.

Stop Tweeting, Kevin Durant

Ok, all jokes aside, where are Kevin Durant‘s friends, son? I mean, no one told him that his social media behavior has been corny as shit, man? Look, I know I’ve given him a hard time for his Golden State Warriors move, but I never thought he’d do something so lame, fam. All in all, KD just needs to accept the fact that most people don’t accept his decision. At this point, he’s an NBA champion now. Why does he still care what people think?

Now, for those who missed it, KD got caught doing some hoe shit last week. So, apparently, this dude has been using secret Twitter and Instagram accounts to argue with people hating on him. He got caught after accidentally posting a response from his REAL Twitter account. Look, in the aforementioned message, he spoke about himself in the third person, shitted on his former coach Billy Donovan AND threw shots at the entire Oklahoma City Thunder organization. In his eyes, it was just him and Russell Westbrook. To be fair, he wasn’t wrong about that part.

In any case, when he was confronted about his actions during a fireside chat at TechCrunch Disrupt, he owned up to his corniness. Now, before I continue, let me be clear about something. KD is EASILY one of the top 3 players in the game. In addition, I never faulted him for leaving OKC. Frankly, he’s only getting hate for going to a team that beat him. To make matters worse, he’s handled the situation TERRIBLY since switching teams. Look, this dude is a champion and a Finals MVP now. By and by, our opinions shouldn’t even matter to him. Keeping it a buck, people will never like his decision, fam. He just needs to focus on winning and move the fuck on, bruh.

In the end, @quiresultan on IG is not going to make us like Kevin Durant. So, he just needs to leave the secret accounts alone and go ball out. Ultimately, his third person defense ranks high on the all-time loser list, son. Shit, he’s winning now, which is what he says he’s always wanted. Nothing else should even matter, man. Just let it go, KD. LC out.

I Don’t Understand This Kyrie Irving-Isaiah Thomas Deal

So, this post may be a little different than usual, son. Being honest, I’m not really trying to make a point today, man. Frankly, I want someone to explain this Kyrie IrvingIsaiah Thomas trade to me. All I know is, on face value, I don’t understand what the Boston Celtics and Cleveland Cavaliers are doing. By and by, this upcoming NBA season will be interesting as fuck, fam.

Ok, for those who missed it, the Celtics and the Cavs just made a monster trade. As it stands, Irving will go to Boston in exchange for Thomas, Jae Crowder, Ante Zizic and the Brooklyn Nets2018 unprotected first-round pick. Now, maybe I’m bugging, but I feel like Boston gave up too many assets for one dude. Yes, Irving is a wizard with the basketball, but is he really worth all the Celtics gave up for him?

Look, I will never, EVER front on Irving’s scoring ability. Real talk, he might be the most unstoppable point guard in the league. That’s right, maybe even deadlier than Stephen Curry, bruh. Listen, there’s literally NO WAY to stop that man from getting buckets, son. He can get to the basket at will AND he shoots above 40% from the three-point line. All in all, the Golden State Warriors may be 2-1 against the Cavs in the Finals, but they’ve NEVER been able to contain Irving.

By comparison, Thomas is also a great scorer. Despite his height, he always gets to the rack and he kills teams with the jumper off of screens. Keeping it a buck, the main knock against him is the fact that he’s a terrible defender. Here’s the thing: so is Irving. So, in my mind, the Celtics and the Cavs are swapping players that yield similar results. Now, is Irving a better player than Thomas? Yes. However; this trade would make more sense to me if there were less players involved.

For me, this trade got weird because of Crowder and the first-round Brooklyn pick. Although Crowder regressed a little last season, he’s still a damn good defender, man. In addition, a team can always benefit from having a first-round pick, son. So, why would Danny Ainge give up those assets for one player? A player who’s benefited from having LeBron James on his side for the last three years? All jokes aside, do the Celtics know exactly what they’re getting with Irving? Are they 100% confident that he can run the show? All I can say is, I’m skeptical as hell, fam.

In the end, anybody is welcome to explain this shit to me, bruh. Ultimately, this trade is a big deal in the Eastern Conference. However; I don’t know if it’s enough to overthrow the LeBron regime, fam. All in all, Irving is going to look pretty stupid if he goes through all of this nonsense and loses to James. In any case, I’m looking forward to the tomfoolery, son. LC out.