Kevin Hart Is Out Here Looking CRAZY!

So, I’m going to just get straight to the point, son. Kevin Hart is taking a LOT of L’s right now, man. I mean, these groupies got him out here looking CRAZY, fam! Shit, not only did he get caught creeping on his wife, Eniko Hart, but now, the word is that the side chicks tried to extort him. Good Lord, life comes at folks FAST, bruh! In any case, they say “what goes around comes around,” so karma might be dancing on his ass right now.

Now, before I continue, let me get one thing out of the way. Keeping it a buck, I’m the LAST human being on Earth who can judge anyone for cheating. Anyway, I would divulge further, but this post ain’t about me, son! With that being said, Kevin Hart is no stranger to cheating rumors, man. Look, if anyone has ever watched his stand-ups, they’d hear him talk about what led to the breakup of his first marriage. Frankly, he made a habit out of cheating on Torrei Hart and ended up telling some jokes about it. All in all, I laughed, fam. Listen, the dude is funny, bruh!

Moving on, even his current relationship with Eniko has had its bumps and bruises. To that point, all I’ll say is, they started dating in 2009, but his divorce from Torrei wasn’t finalized until 2011. So, I’ll just let the people do the math on that one. Now, to add insult to injury, this new cheating scandal comes up. Based on the video going around, he was in some room smashing two women while his pregnant wife was at home. Sheesh, the optics on this look TERRIBLE, fam! By and by, it seems as if he admitted to everything on Instagram in an attempt to thwart the women’s extortion plot. In addition, the FBI is now looking into his case. Man, this story just keeps on getting wilder, bruh!

In the end, all of this will probably blow over, son. I mean, if his wife stays with him and he doesn’t ante up any money to these side chicks, then he doesn’t really lose here. Ultimately, the internet will have a ton of jokes, but it probably won’t hurt him, man. By and by, he only has two options from here: either stop cheating on Eniko or find some better prospects, fam. Real talk, the former is probably the better idea here. LC out.

P.S. I’m sure Torrei feels somewhat vindicated at the moment. However; she needs to stop doing interviews, son. I mean, we all know the history, ma’am. There’s really no need to sling mud right now, man. On the real, she’s doing herself a disservice by getting down in the dirt. In my eyes, doing press makes it look like she’s not over her divorce. If she’s really happy, then just be happy and let Eniko deal with Kevin’s fuckery. That is all.

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I Don’t Care About ‘Covfefe’

So, to be real, I wasn’t even going to write about this story, son. I mean, keeping it a buck, Donald Trump‘s inability to spell is not news. Look, his grammatical error game is strong on Twitter, man. Frankly, I’m surprised when he’s actually able to tweet a coherent thought, fam. That’s how rarely that event occurs, bruh. In any case, I don’t like how this nonsense is distracting us from the Trump administration’s usual fuckery. In any case, LC is here to remind everyone of just that, son.

Now, before I continue, let me get one thing out of the way. Man, someone needs to put Sean Spicer out of his misery, bruh. Listen, defending Trump MUST be killing him inside. Fam, this dude really stood behind a podium and said “the President and a small group of people know exactly what he meant.” Good fucking Lord, man! This administration can’t even admit to a fucking typo, son! That statement is one of the most preposterous collections of words I’ve ever heard in my life. Look, Spicer, NO ONE believes that bullshit, man! Absolutely no one.

Moving on, let me be perfectly clear about this entire brouhaha. I don’t care about “covfefe” because the House Intelligence Committee just subpoenaed Michael Flynn and Michael Cohen, Trump’s personal lawyer. I don’t care about “covfefe” because James Comey has agreed to testify before the Senate. I don’t care about “covfefe” because Trump is having a war of words with Angela Merkel, the Chancellor of Germany. As a reminder, Germany is an ally of ours. Needless to say, so much real shit is happening out here, we shouldn’t have time to worry about the fact that Trump is dumber than a fifth grader. We all need to be paying attention to the real issues, fam. It’s getting ugly out here, son. Really ugly.

In the end, we all know Trump is an idiot, man. That tidbit is not news. At this point, we all need to be worrying about the inner workings of this administration. Ultimately, the FBI and the intelligence committees need to get to the bottom of the real tomfoolery, son. Until then, please keep the stupidity out of the media, fam. Thanks. LC out.

When Will We Call A Hate Crime A Hate Crime?

Man, stories like this make me fucking furious, bruh! Like, we live in a time where we can’t just call shit what it is. Look, instead of attacking situations head on, people would much rather beat around the bush. All I know is, I’m not one of those people, man. The way I see it, the murder of Richard Collins III was a hate crime, fam. All in all, just one look at Sean Urbanski‘s life can tell us all we need to know about that coward. With that being said, the police and the FBI NEED to do the right thing!

Now, for those who are unaware, let me give a brief synopsis of this story. To begin, Collins was a US Army Second Lieutenant who was about to graduate from Bowie State University. In any case, while visiting some friends at the University of Maryland, Collins and company were approached by Urbanski. So, after making threatening comments to Collins and his crew, Urbanski pulled out a knife and stabbed Collins in the chest. Ultimately, Collins was pronounced dead at the hospital.

Moving on, upon further inspection of Urbanski’s daily life, we learn that he belongs to an “Alt-Reich Nation” group on Facebook. Apparently, this particular group specializes in hating on women, Hispanics, Jews and Black people. Now, with all of that being said, why are we confused about whether or not this murder was a hate crime? I mean, a clown who openly embraces racist rhetoric randomly killed an unsuspecting Black man. Listen, am I really supposed to believe this wasn’t racially motivated? Man, get the fuck outta here, son!

In the end, nothing else needs to be said here. Richard Collins III deserves supreme justice. His promising life was cut short because bigots are becoming more emboldened by the day. By and by, if the authorities want us to believe that they actually stand for something, then Urbanski needs to be thrown under the jail. Anything less than a hate crime charge will not suffice, son. *Sigh* I’m fucking tired of this shit, man. LC out.

Donald Trump Loves Obstructing Justice

Now, I don’t know about anyone else out there, but I’m exhausted, son. I’m completely tired of the constant barrage of fuckery, man. Day after day after day, the American people have to deal with new levels of tomfoolery and idiocy. At some point, our backs are going to break from trying to stay afloat in the Donald Trump era. All in all, I can only hope that the end is near, fam. *Sigh* I can only hope, son.

So, I’m here today to talk about the latest development in the back-and-forth between Trump and James Comey. Apparently, back in February, when Comey still ran the FBI, Trump asked him to stop investigating Michael Flynn. To be fair, Trump didn’t ask him in those exact words. Instead, he told Comey that he hoped he would just “let it go.” Ultimately, we’re aware of this exchange because Comey kept detailed memos during his tenure with the Bureau.

Ok, keep in mind that Flynn is in trouble for lying about his communications with Sergey Kislyak, the Russian Ambassador. Keep in mind that Sally Yates warned Trump about Flynn’s dealings and noted that he could be blackmailed by the Russian government. With all of that information, Trump still urged Comey to look the other way when it came to Flynn. Now, why the fuck would he do that, man? On the real, why is Trump trying to circumvent justice in the name of a disgraced government employee?

Man, this is now the second time that Donald Trump has tried to interfere with investigations, fam. As of now, we all know that Comey was fired as FBI Director because he was looking into possible collusion between Trump’s administration and Russia. Now, we’re getting wind of the fact that Trump tried to dissuade Comey from looking into Flynn’s wrongdoings. *Sigh* I mean, what the actually fuck, man? Seriously, what in the fuck is really happening around here, son?

In the end, is the GOP going to continue to allow Trump to behave this way? Listen, he’s making an absolute mockery of our government. All I know is, his nonsense is past all of this bipartisan bullshit, son. Our own president is acting like a fucking criminal, man! Enough is fucking enough, fam! This clown needs to be impeached ASAP! By and by, nothing else will suffice. LC out.

Donald Trump Just Fired The Dude Investigating Him

Son, what the fuck is going on right now? Like, Donald Trump and company must really think we’re stupid, man. Then again, he was actually voted into office, so the American people are clearly stupid. In any case, there is no way, NO WAY that someone can convince me that James Comey’s firing was justified! I mean, this entire situation reeks of insidiousness and underhanded behavior, fam. Look, no Earthly creature can tell me that this decision wasn’t related to Comey’s investigation of the Trump administration. With that being said, we need to figure out this Russia connection before it’s too late.

Now, before I continue, let me be clear on one particular point: I don’t like James Comey. Listen, even though Hillary Clinton’s campaign made NUMEROUS errors, the fruitless FBI investigation into her emails ended up hurting her electability. Bruh, Comey reopened the investigation TWO WEEKS before people went to the polls! To make matters worse, the Feds weren’t even looking at her emails directly. They were probing through the emails of Huma Abedin, Clinton’s right-hand woman. In the end, what results did this investigation yield? NOT A FUCKING THING, MAN! So, ultimately, Comey royally screwed Clinton.

Moving on, this is exactly why the White House’s explanation for firing Comey doesn’t make sense. All in all, everything I just wrote in the last paragraph happened in the summer and fall of 2016. If Comey was such a liability, why didn’t they fire him as soon as Trump took office? As a matter of fact, as recently as January, Trump said that Comey would keep his job. There were literally no new developments in the Clinton saga, so how could that be the reason for relieving him of duty? Nah, son, they decided to fire Comey when he announced an inquiry into the links between Trump’s administration and Russia. The timeline is clear as day, son. So, miss me with the bullshit misdirection, man.

By and by, we’re witnessing something EXTREMELY dangerous right now. Look, it’s only been a couple of months and Trump has already set the precedent of firing people who question him. He fired Sally Yates for refusing to enforce the Muslim Ban. He fired Preet Bharara for investigating questionable decisions by members of Trump’s team. Now, he fired Comey. Fam, this isn’t a fucking television show! This man can’t just fire people for ratings. Ultimately, all of these actions could have scary consequences for our democracy. All I know is, a reality star has turned our country into a terrible reality show. LC out.

P.S. For anyone who doubts my logic here, just think about the fact that Jeff Sessions was the man who suggested removing Comey. Lest we forget, Sessions had to recuse himself from the Russia investigation because he was balls deep in the fuckery. So, tell me again how all of this isn’t related? Yeah, I thought so. That is all.

A Letter To Hillary Clinton

Dear Hillary Clinton,

Look, I’m not one to mince words, so I’ll just get straight to the point. I’m going to need you to let the election go now. The fact of the matter is, you lost. Yes, we could all point to a million different factors that led to this outcome. However; as much as it pains me to say this, Donald Trump is the President. At this point, instead of rehashing your defeat, maybe you should focus on helping to prevent him from ending Western Civilization.

Now, to be fair, I did vote for you. To do this, I begrudgingly looked past your “superpredators” comment and your history with the prison industrial complex. Shit, as fucked up as your policies have been, I was/still am legitimately scared of Trump. I mean, based on what we’ve seen so far, World War III may still be on the horizon. In any case, I’ve never enjoyed picking the “lesser of two evils.” Listen, this entire election cycle has proved how antiquated the two-party political system really is.

Moving on, despite the loss, you refuse to accept any responsibility. Ok, I get it, FBI Director James Comey royally screwed you with his fuckery. The timing of his renewed investigation into your emails is suspect at best. However; that doesn’t account for the many errors you made on the campaign trail.

First, you lost Michigan, Wisconsin, Pennsylvania and Florida. These are all states that Barack Obama won twice. Twice! In fact, until you, a Democrat hadn’t lost Pennsylvania since 1988. I was 3 years old when that last occurred. To make matters worse, you didn’t campaign in Wisconsin and you only put some money down in Michigan during the last week of the election. How the fuck did you expect to win those states? In my eyes, your hubris got the best of you. You really thought you could just pull those states out of your ass with minimal effort. Well, clearly you were wrong.

Listen, I’m not ignoring the outside factors that may have contributed to your loss. Was there a gender component? Absolutely. Was there a Comey component? Absolutely. Was there a Julian Assange/WikiLeaks/Russia component? Absolutely. With that being said, take some responsibility for your own mistakes. Otherwise, you’re going to keep looking like a bitter loser. All in all, it is what it is, Mrs. Clinton. It just is what it is.

Sincerely,

A dude who’s stockpiling supplies in preparation for Armageddon

Don’t Fall For Donald Trump’s Ruse

Nah, son. No way. Go home. Get the fuck outta here. I’m not falling for the okie doke, bruh. I’m not going for the misdirection, man. On the real, I truly hope no one believes the gaffle here. Over the weekend, Donald Trump made insanely baseless accusations against Barack Obama. To be clear, this action was taken for one reason and one reason only: to distract from finding a link between Trump’s administration and Russia. It’s no coincidence that right as the Russia talk heats up, a new story is thrown against the wall. All I know is, it’ll take more than Twitter to fool me, son.

Now, before I continue, let me outline some FACTS. First, Michael Flynn, Trump’s former National Security Advisor, lied about being in contact with the Russian ambassador. For that move, he lost his job. Second, Jeff Sessions, Trump’s current Attorney General, ALSO lied about being in contact with the Russian ambassador. To make matters worse, Sessions told these fairy tales during his confirmation hearing. Meaning, he perjured himself. For that action, he has to recuse himself from any potential investigation between Trump and Russia. In addition, if any further dirt is discovered, then Sessions could also lose his job.

Moving on, let me outline some unfounded opinions. As it stands, Mark Levin is the man who started the rumor about Obama wiretapping Trump’s phones during the election. Now, for anyone who is unfamiliar with Levin, he’s a conservative radio host who has a documented history of saying wild shit about Obama. He’s long argued that Obama has initiated a “silent coup” within our government, enacting “martial law” through immigration, health care and law enforcement policies. In any case, Levin is the first person to claim that Obama was secretly monitoring Trump.

So, after Levin made his outrageous claims, the story ended up on Breitbart News. Side note, c’mon son, is anyone else seeing a pattern here? Once again, Steve Bannon’s repugnant ass website has dug its claws into the bullshit. Anyway, after seeing the tomfoolery on Breitbart, Trump fired off a series of tweets alleging that Obama tapped his phones during the campaign trail. Now, Trump wants an investigation into Obama’s mythical and fictitious deeds.

Ok, I have questions, son. First, if Trump has proof, then why does he need an investigation? Why doesn’t he just reveal the evidence he already has? Ohhhh, that’s because THERE IS NO EVIDENCE, MAN! This tactic is nothing more than a ruse to get people talking about this instead of Russia. The fucked up thing is, it’s working, son. Ever since Trump’s tweets, this story has been the topic of conversation on the news. Trump has successfully shifted the focus of both the public and the media. If I wasn’t so infuriated by the obvious ploy, I’d be impressed, man.

In the end, let’s cut the malarkey, son. I don’t want to hear about wiretaps and I don’t want to hear about leaks. Until the story is resolved, let’s find out what’s really good between Trump’s administration and Russia. If everything is aboveboard, then why is Trump’s staff constantly lying about speaking with Russian dignitaries? I mean, fuck conjecture, man. We know for a fact that people in this current regime have been less than truthful to the American public. At this point, I’m tired of the back and forth, man. I just want to know the truth… about everything. LC out.

P.S. FBI Director James Comey has already asked the Department of Justice to refute Trump’s claims. I find it very odd that they haven’t done so yet. The idiocy in our government is simply staggering, man. That is all.