Two… TWO Mass Shootings In 24 Hours

So, here we are, son. Another day, another mass shooting. Wait, no, excuse me, man. I mean, another day and TWO MORE mass shootings, fam. Like, I’m at a legitimate loss for words, bruh. Seriously, I just wrote about the Gilroy Garlic Festival shooting last Monday, people. How the fuck am I writing about a second AND third shooting in a week’s time? For God‘s sake, something needs to be done NOW!

Ok, let’s start with El Paso, Texas, son. So, Patrick Crusius, a 21-year-old from Allen, Texas, drove over 600 miles to El Paso. Now, as seen in his “manifesto,” he went there for the sole purpose of shooting Hispanic people. This fruit loop believes the country is being overrun by immigrants and his solution was to shoot as many Latino people as he could find. All in all, Crusius killed 20 people and injured another 26.

Now, here’s the part of the article that’s going to make Donald Trump supporters mad. Yes, y’alls President has culpability in this situation. Shit, for the last four years, he’s made it his life’s mission to vilify the Hispanic community. Hell, building the Border Wall was THE major policy point of his campaign, man. Fam, as of right now, there are still countless Hispanic families being held in glorified internment camps, bruh. So, he can’t stoke the flames for all of these years and then back the fuck out when a loser takes his words to heart. On the real, Crusius thought he was helping the fucking cause, folks.

Moving on, let’s talk about Dayton, Ohio. Now, 24-year-old Connor Betts rolled up to the Ned Peppers bar and fired at everyone outside. In under a minute, he murdered 9 people and hurt 27 more. Sadly, his sister, Megan Betts, was one of the innocent folks killed outside of the bar. All I know is, it’s absolutely baffling that he was able to cause so much damage in such a short period of time.

Anyway, when it comes to Betts, he identified as a Democrat. Furthermore, based on his social media presence, he supported Elizabeth Warren and socialism. In addition, he had numerous tweets displaying his disdain for the Trump administration. In any case, I’m still not sure what this fucktard’s motive was. All I can say is, it better not have been related to any bipartisan shit. Bruh, what kind of idiot thinks mass murder is an effective political tool? Like I said, I don’t know if that was his motivation, but at this point, I’d believe it, son. The fact is, people don’t need to die to prove a stupid ass point, man. No one deserves to be killed for the Democrats or the Republicans.

With all of that being said, let’s talk about the two main issues at hand: guns and White male terrorists. Listen, anytime some shit doesn’t go some White dude’s way, his solution is to kill a bunch of innocent people. Look, Timothy McVeigh was mad at the government, so he bombed an entire Federal building. Dylann Roof hated Black people, so he shot up a church. Now, Crusius despised Hispanics, so he drove over 9 hours to murder them. The fact is, domestic (White) terrorists are WAY more dangerous than another other group. That’s right, more deadly than the Muslims they always try to pit us against.

On top of that, the weaponry these terrorists have access to changes the entire game, fam. Bruh, Betts was able to shoot 35+ people in under a minute, son. Real talk, I don’t want to hear a debate, man. Keeping it a buck, if all he had was a knife, there is NO way he’d be able to do that much damage, folks. So yes, the guns are also a fucking problem, brethren. At this point, I really don’t understand how dummies can even argue either of these facts.

In the end, I don’t know what else to say, son. Ultimately, we have a gun control problem that no one wants to talk about. We have a White terrorism problem that no one wants to talk about. Shit, Dave Gomez, a former FBI counter-terrorism agent, admitted as much to the Senate, man. By and by, since nobody in power wants to touch these subjects, people will keep on dying, fam. At the end of the day, they can take their “thoughts and prayers” and shove it up their partisan asses, bruh. That is all. LC out.

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Donald Trump Just Confused Two Mass Shootings

So, when I woke up this morning, I planned on writing about the latest shooting in California. I mean, my plan was to talk about the fuckery that Kevin Janson Neal inflicted on Tehama County. Now, I’m still going to speak about this tragedy, but I’d be remiss if I didn’t comment on Donald Trump‘s response to the tragedy. Basically, y’alls President confused one mass shooting with another one, son. Worse yet, he didn’t even bother to change the template of his tweet before he sent it out.

Ok, before I continue, let me talk about the matter at hand, man. Now, for those who missed it, just yesterday, Kevin Neal opened fire on a myriad of people. Apparently, he was at odds with his neighbors and decided to kill them. From there, he drove around town, in stolen cars, and fired on unsuspecting folks. Ultimately, he ended up at an elementary school and tried to wreak havoc, fam. All in all, in the aftermath of his attack, four people were dead and another ten were injured. Frankly, if the school faculty didn’t react quicker, there could’ve been more bloodshed, fam.

Now, it goes without saying that this situation is terrible, bruh. Luckily, none of the children were killed, but one was hurt during the chaos. With that being said, my condolences to everyone who was affected by this horror. On the real, it’s insane that this was the third mass shooting in under two months, son. First, it was Las Vegas and then it was Texas. At this point, I’m not even sure of what needs to be done here, man. Like, none of the community’s suggestions are even entertained by our elected officials, fam. Honestly, people just keep on dying, folks.

Moving on, on its own, the shooting would’ve been bad enough, son. However; Trump found a way to make it worse by hitting his Twitter account. So, in the wake of the incident, Trump tweeted out “May God be with the people of Sutherland Springs, Texas. The FBI and Law Enforcement has arrived.” Now, if anyone is paying attention, they’d know that he just referenced the wrong shooting. Even worse, he copied and pasted a nearly identical message that he sent when the real Texas shooting happened. Look, this man didn’t even have the wherewithal or the respect to get the place right, man! Like, I’m at a fucking loss for words, fam!

Look, his reaction is fucked up on multiple levels, bruh. First, we’ve gotten to a point where mass shootings are the norm now. As a nation, we’ve become so desensitized to this kind of violence that all we offer victims are “thoughts and prayers.” Because of this, the fucking President thought it was okay to have a mass shooting tweet template. Next, it takes a special kind of asshole to not even bother getting the location right. Real talk, no Trump apologist can make this faux pas okay, son. This man clearly doesn’t give a flying fuck about the American people!

In the end, I have nothing else to say here, man. Ultimately, I don’t hate many people, but Donald Trump is ABSOLUTELY on that list, fam! He is, without question, one of the worst things to ever happen to this nation, bruh. By and by, as long as he’s in control, we’re doomed, folks. There’s no other way to cut it or slice it, people. That is all. LC out.

Robert Mueller Is Putting Cases On All You B*tches!

Disclaimer: Everyone should read the title in Denzel Washington’s voice from Training Day. That is all.

So, shit just got real, huh? After all of the talk about Robert Mueller’s investigation, heads are starting to roll, son. With that being said, I’d be remiss if I didn’t get these jokes off about all of the fuckity-fuck shit going on in Donald Trump’s inner circle. In any case, let’s take a deep dive into all of the shit that Paul Manafort, Rick Gates and George Papadopoulos have gotten themselves into, man.

Ok, for those living under a rock, the shitshow began on Friday, fam. As the week came to a close, word got out that a sealed indictment was underway. From that standpoint, it was highly likely that someone was going to get arrested, bruh. Now, in light of that information, I assumed that Manafort was going to be the first to go down. Shit, after the FBI raised his crib back in August, it was only a matter of time before he was in a world of hurt, folks. Moving on, I was proven right when Monday came around. However; I would’ve never guessed the type of dirt that they have on him, people.

Basically, Trump’s former campaign chairman is a scammer, son. Since around 2005, he’s been laundering millions of dollars through overseas shell companies. Both him and his adviser, Rick Gates, have been living their best Joanne The Scammer life for well over a decade. As it stands, their fraud was still going on even after Manafort came aboard Trump’s team. Anyway, both men have been officially charged and are currently out of bail. In addition, both have pleaded not guilty to the accusations.

Now, the wildest part is, this isn’t even the wildest part of the story, son. Frankly, George Papadopoulos is the bigger news, man. Look, although Manafort and Gates have been involved in massive amounts of fuckery, the White House can still maintain plausible deniability. However; Papadopoulos’ tale is where shit gets interesting, fam. To begin, he’s already pled guilty to lying to federal agents. So, what did he lie about exactly? Russia, bruh. Russia.

As we now know, Papadopoulos, Trump’s former foreign policy adviser, was actively working with Kremlin-connected clowncakes to get dirt on Hillary Clinton. To make matters worse, in his own correspondence, he stated that he wanted someone low-level to meet with them in order to keep the heat away from Trump. Son, that has conspiracy written all over it! Real talk, the situation is so bad for Papadopoulos that he didn’t even try to fight the charges, man. The way I see it, I wouldn’t be surprised if he started rolling on everyone, fam. Shit, let the snitching begin!

In the end, all I can do is laugh at this, bruh. On the real, I doubt we’ve seen the last of the indictments, folks. Hell, I know Michael Flynn is somewhere sweating right now, son. Ultimately, a bunch of corrupt people were/are on Trump’s squad, man. Am I supposed to believe that he’s innocent of ALL of the fuckery? Give me a break, fam. I ain’t that dumb. LC out.

Kevin Hart Is Out Here Looking CRAZY!

So, I’m going to just get straight to the point, son. Kevin Hart is taking a LOT of L’s right now, man. I mean, these groupies got him out here looking CRAZY, fam! Shit, not only did he get caught creeping on his wife, Eniko Hart, but now, the word is that the side chicks tried to extort him. Good Lord, life comes at folks FAST, bruh! In any case, they say “what goes around comes around,” so karma might be dancing on his ass right now.

Now, before I continue, let me get one thing out of the way. Keeping it a buck, I’m the LAST human being on Earth who can judge anyone for cheating. Anyway, I would divulge further, but this post ain’t about me, son! With that being said, Kevin Hart is no stranger to cheating rumors, man. Look, if anyone has ever watched his stand-ups, they’d hear him talk about what led to the breakup of his first marriage. Frankly, he made a habit out of cheating on Torrei Hart and ended up telling some jokes about it. All in all, I laughed, fam. Listen, the dude is funny, bruh!

Moving on, even his current relationship with Eniko has had its bumps and bruises. To that point, all I’ll say is, they started dating in 2009, but his divorce from Torrei wasn’t finalized until 2011. So, I’ll just let the people do the math on that one. Now, to add insult to injury, this new cheating scandal comes up. Based on the video going around, he was in some room smashing two women while his pregnant wife was at home. Sheesh, the optics on this look TERRIBLE, fam! By and by, it seems as if he admitted to everything on Instagram in an attempt to thwart the women’s extortion plot. In addition, the FBI is now looking into his case. Man, this story just keeps on getting wilder, bruh!

In the end, all of this will probably blow over, son. I mean, if his wife stays with him and he doesn’t ante up any money to these side chicks, then he doesn’t really lose here. Ultimately, the internet will have a ton of jokes, but it probably won’t hurt him, man. By and by, he only has two options from here: either stop cheating on Eniko or find some better prospects, fam. Real talk, the former is probably the better idea here. LC out.

P.S. I’m sure Torrei feels somewhat vindicated at the moment. However; she needs to stop doing interviews, son. I mean, we all know the history, ma’am. There’s really no need to sling mud right now, man. On the real, she’s doing herself a disservice by getting down in the dirt. In my eyes, doing press makes it look like she’s not over her divorce. If she’s really happy, then just be happy and let Eniko deal with Kevin’s fuckery. That is all.

I Don’t Care About ‘Covfefe’

So, to be real, I wasn’t even going to write about this story, son. I mean, keeping it a buck, Donald Trump‘s inability to spell is not news. Look, his grammatical error game is strong on Twitter, man. Frankly, I’m surprised when he’s actually able to tweet a coherent thought, fam. That’s how rarely that event occurs, bruh. In any case, I don’t like how this nonsense is distracting us from the Trump administration’s usual fuckery. In any case, LC is here to remind everyone of just that, son.

Now, before I continue, let me get one thing out of the way. Man, someone needs to put Sean Spicer out of his misery, bruh. Listen, defending Trump MUST be killing him inside. Fam, this dude really stood behind a podium and said “the President and a small group of people know exactly what he meant.” Good fucking Lord, man! This administration can’t even admit to a fucking typo, son! That statement is one of the most preposterous collections of words I’ve ever heard in my life. Look, Spicer, NO ONE believes that bullshit, man! Absolutely no one.

Moving on, let me be perfectly clear about this entire brouhaha. I don’t care about “covfefe” because the House Intelligence Committee just subpoenaed Michael Flynn and Michael Cohen, Trump’s personal lawyer. I don’t care about “covfefe” because James Comey has agreed to testify before the Senate. I don’t care about “covfefe” because Trump is having a war of words with Angela Merkel, the Chancellor of Germany. As a reminder, Germany is an ally of ours. Needless to say, so much real shit is happening out here, we shouldn’t have time to worry about the fact that Trump is dumber than a fifth grader. We all need to be paying attention to the real issues, fam. It’s getting ugly out here, son. Really ugly.

In the end, we all know Trump is an idiot, man. That tidbit is not news. At this point, we all need to be worrying about the inner workings of this administration. Ultimately, the FBI and the intelligence committees need to get to the bottom of the real tomfoolery, son. Until then, please keep the stupidity out of the media, fam. Thanks. LC out.

When Will We Call A Hate Crime A Hate Crime?

Man, stories like this make me fucking furious, bruh! Like, we live in a time where we can’t just call shit what it is. Look, instead of attacking situations head on, people would much rather beat around the bush. All I know is, I’m not one of those people, man. The way I see it, the murder of Richard Collins III was a hate crime, fam. All in all, just one look at Sean Urbanski‘s life can tell us all we need to know about that coward. With that being said, the police and the FBI NEED to do the right thing!

Now, for those who are unaware, let me give a brief synopsis of this story. To begin, Collins was a US Army Second Lieutenant who was about to graduate from Bowie State University. In any case, while visiting some friends at the University of Maryland, Collins and company were approached by Urbanski. So, after making threatening comments to Collins and his crew, Urbanski pulled out a knife and stabbed Collins in the chest. Ultimately, Collins was pronounced dead at the hospital.

Moving on, upon further inspection of Urbanski’s daily life, we learn that he belongs to an “Alt-Reich Nation” group on Facebook. Apparently, this particular group specializes in hating on women, Hispanics, Jews and Black people. Now, with all of that being said, why are we confused about whether or not this murder was a hate crime? I mean, a clown who openly embraces racist rhetoric randomly killed an unsuspecting Black man. Listen, am I really supposed to believe this wasn’t racially motivated? Man, get the fuck outta here, son!

In the end, nothing else needs to be said here. Richard Collins III deserves supreme justice. His promising life was cut short because bigots are becoming more emboldened by the day. By and by, if the authorities want us to believe that they actually stand for something, then Urbanski needs to be thrown under the jail. Anything less than a hate crime charge will not suffice, son. *Sigh* I’m fucking tired of this shit, man. LC out.

Donald Trump Loves Obstructing Justice

Now, I don’t know about anyone else out there, but I’m exhausted, son. I’m completely tired of the constant barrage of fuckery, man. Day after day after day, the American people have to deal with new levels of tomfoolery and idiocy. At some point, our backs are going to break from trying to stay afloat in the Donald Trump era. All in all, I can only hope that the end is near, fam. *Sigh* I can only hope, son.

So, I’m here today to talk about the latest development in the back-and-forth between Trump and James Comey. Apparently, back in February, when Comey still ran the FBI, Trump asked him to stop investigating Michael Flynn. To be fair, Trump didn’t ask him in those exact words. Instead, he told Comey that he hoped he would just “let it go.” Ultimately, we’re aware of this exchange because Comey kept detailed memos during his tenure with the Bureau.

Ok, keep in mind that Flynn is in trouble for lying about his communications with Sergey Kislyak, the Russian Ambassador. Keep in mind that Sally Yates warned Trump about Flynn’s dealings and noted that he could be blackmailed by the Russian government. With all of that information, Trump still urged Comey to look the other way when it came to Flynn. Now, why the fuck would he do that, man? On the real, why is Trump trying to circumvent justice in the name of a disgraced government employee?

Man, this is now the second time that Donald Trump has tried to interfere with investigations, fam. As of now, we all know that Comey was fired as FBI Director because he was looking into possible collusion between Trump’s administration and Russia. Now, we’re getting wind of the fact that Trump tried to dissuade Comey from looking into Flynn’s wrongdoings. *Sigh* I mean, what the actually fuck, man? Seriously, what in the fuck is really happening around here, son?

In the end, is the GOP going to continue to allow Trump to behave this way? Listen, he’s making an absolute mockery of our government. All I know is, his nonsense is past all of this bipartisan bullshit, son. Our own president is acting like a fucking criminal, man! Enough is fucking enough, fam! This clown needs to be impeached ASAP! By and by, nothing else will suffice. LC out.