Get ESPN The F*ck Outta Here!

So, let me get straight to it, son. ESPN can eat a massive dick, son. I mean, they’re definitely showing the world their true colors, man. I guess, in their eyes, the First Amendment means nothing, fam. Like, free speech must be some imaginary concept, bruh. Shit, from the way things have played out, SportsCenter co-host Jemele Hill clearly isn’t entitled to voicing her opinion. All I know is, Hill needs to take her talents to somewhere she’ll be properly appreciated. All in all, ESPN is NOT the place, folks.

Now, for those who missed all of the fuckery, let me give a brief rundown. The nonsense started when Hill spoke out against Donald Trump on Twitter. She correctly called Trump a White Supremacist and blamed him for the rise of bigotry in this country. Listen, if anyone thinks she was off base, just remember Trump’s response to Charlottesville. Despite the fact that supremacists killed Heather Heyer, he still said that there were “fine people” on all sides. Look, if that ain’t sucking up to racists than I don’t know what is, son.

In any case, because of her statements, Hill became a political target. Trump’s entire administration tried to make her a punching bag in an effort to get her fired. Now, since ESPN is a bunch of bitches, they released a statement condemning Hill’s tweets. With that being said, she was effectively put on warning. However; since Hill is a real one, she refused to be silenced by the powers that be.

Moving on, here’s where the tomfoolery came to a head, man. So, Jerry Jones decided to be a typical White dude in power and threaten his Dallas Cowboys players. According to him, if any man kneels for the National Anthem, then they won’t play. Keep in mind, just the other week, this clowncake kneeled with the players before a game. Now, he’s trying to pull rank by putting pressure on his employees. Look, all I want to know is, when did Jerry Jones become a beacon of moral authority? Fam, ain’t that the same man that took these pictures? Ok, yeah, I thought so, bruh.

Anyway, in the wake of Jones’ hypocrisy, Hill suggested that people should boycott Cowboys advertisers. Frankly, that move would be a real way to affect the status quo. By and by, for her troubles, ESPN suspended Hill for two weeks for violating their social media policy. Basically, this was their way of shutting her up for speaking against their corporate interests. Listen, we all know how the game goes, son. Anytime a Black person speaks up, the people in control need to assert their dominance. Keeping it a buck, Hill became another victim of the need to maintain “order.”

In the end, ESPN is proving that they only want a certain type of Blackness. They want to exploit our swag but don’t give a fuck about our pain. Now, I know Hill worked tirelessly to succeed, but I hope she learned a valuable lesson here: these corporations want us to be caricatures. They want us to be docile servants who should be thankful for our positions. Ultimately, fuck ESPN and all other organizations who profit from our talents but remain silent about our anguish. LC out.

P.S. Michael Smith is a G for the way he’s standing up for his co-host. Salute, brother. That is all.

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Sammy Sosa Looks BONKERS!

Son! Fam! Bruh! What?! Huh?! Dude, what the entire FUCK is going on around here?! Seriously, who the hell is the pink-faced mammal in the photo above?! Now, people are telling me that it’s Sammy Sosa, but I refuse to believe that, son. Like, I’ve always known about his skin-bleaching fetish, but this is preposterous, man! All jokes aside, Sosa has surpassed Michael Jackson in terms of skin-changing fuckery.

Now, shit got weird when Sosa sat down with ESPN to talk about this year’s Home Run Derby. Needless to say, once we all saw his face, we stopped giving a fuck about what he was saying. Son, what in Baby Jesus‘ name did this man do to himself?! Shit, what part of the game is being lavender, son? What part of the game is looking like a batch of cotton candy, man? Listen, I like to match my clothes, but I didn’t think my skin color had to be part of the equation, fam. All in all, this man looks fucking NUTS, bruh!

On the real, I knew Sosa had an affinity for bleaching, but I never thought he’d take it this far. Keeping it a buck, the dude used to be my complexion, son. Now, he looks like a fucking Starburst, man. It’s like he went into Home Depot and said “I want to look like the paint in my daughter’s room.” All I know is, I literally can’t believe what I’m witnessing, fam.

Moving on, this type of tomfoolery is why people like Kodak Black need to be called out on their fuckery, man. This Sosa nonsense is a PRIME example of what some folks do when they hate their skin color, son. So, no, we can’t just let derogatory comments about complexion slide, fam. All in all, when I look at Sosa, I see a man who legitimately hates himself. Frankly, it’s disgraceful to watch because I used to be a huge fan of this guy, steroids and all.

In the end, I’m blown away by all of this, son. Like, this fool is actually pink, man! I swear, the truth is always stranger than fiction, fam. Ultimately, I don’t see where Sosa can go from here. I mean, it’s not like he can turn back the hands of time, bruh. Sadly, I don’t think he wants to either. *Sigh* LC out.

Get Jason Whitlock The F*ck Outta Here!

Ok, to be clear, I don’t like Jason Whitlock, son. On the real, in addition to his preposterous social commentary, his sports analysis is also pretty trash. However; I’m not here to talk about some basketball “hot take” right now. In actuality, Whitlock needs to get flamed for the fuck shit he said about LeBron James and racism. Ultimately, these networks need to stop letting their “token” Black guys speak for the community. All I know is, Jason Whitlock doesn’t speak for me or anyone who thinks like me.

Now, for anyone who missed it, LeBron made the news the other day for something outside of ball. Apparently, some piece of shit racist thought it was a good idea to write “nigger” on his Los Angeles home. Thankfully, neither he or his family were present. Anyway, after this ordeal, LeBron was very candid with the media about the ramifications of this act. He spoke about how racism will always be a problem in America, regardless of an individual’s monetary status. In any case, with all of that being said, Jason Whitlock found a way to disagree.

So, in response to LeBron’s comments, Whitlock asserted that LeBron doesn’t face racism because he’s rich. Apparently, when a minority adds a couple of zeroes to their net worth, prejudice and bigotry just magically disappear. I guess Whitlock is not familiar with the story of Dr. Dre being falsely accused of brandishing a gun and getting handcuffed in his own driveway. I guess he’s not familiar with the story of Wyclef Jean getting handcuffed in a case of mistaken identity. I guess he’s not familiar with the story of Just Blaze getting pulled over by police and questioned about the “legitimacy” of his vehicle. Nah, I guess rich Black people never have any problems at all, son.

Listen, I’m not going to be the one to sit here and pretend like rich people deal with the same issues as the disenfranchised. However; material possessions don’t change people’s viewpoints. If a White person hates minorities, a bank account statement is not going to change that. In fact, writing “nigger” on LeBron’s house is a reminder that his money doesn’t matter. In the heart of the person who wrote it, LeBron is still considered “less than.” So, cut the fucking shit, Whitlock!

In the end, Black people like Jason Whitlock make me sick. If he doesn’t want to engage in racial issues, then just shut the fuck up, man! Clearly, we don’t need him on our journey towards equality. By and by, like LaVar Ball said, Whitlock shouldn’t comment on “anything but snacks.” Now, I’ll just sit back and let the “body shaming” brigade come and get me for that last comment. LC out.

Damn, Tiger! In High School You Were The Man, Tiger!

So, to begin, I’ll admit that I don’t know a lot about this situation, man. All I know is, Tiger Woods just caught a DUI charge. In addition, his mugshot looks CRAZY, son! Like, that’s the same dude who won 14 major championships? Good Lord, man, this guy’s fall from grace has been one of the most outlandish things to witness. All in all, whenever ESPN decides to pull the trigger, Tiger’s 30 for 30 documentary is going to be EPIC, fam!

Now, before I continue, let me get one thing out of the way: Tiger Woods is the greatest golfer of all time. Yes, I’m fully aware of who Jack Nicklaus is. I’m fully aware of who Arnold Palmer is. Also, I’m fully aware of Gary Player, Ben Hogan and Sam Snead too. With all of that being said, NO ONE ever dominated golf like Tiger did in his prime. I mean, it’s not even close, son. Shit, if anyone doesn’t believe me, just go back and revisit his 12 stroke win at the 1997 Masters Tournament. Keeping it a buck, Tiger was essentially the golf version of a “create-a-player,” fam.

In any case, by now, I’m sure we all know what happened to Tiger. Ever since his rampant infidelity became a news story in 2009, he’s never been the same, bruh. Look, even by the numbers, he won his last major in 2008. Frankly, Tiger’s golf game was immaculate when he was smashing any woman with a pulse. Ok, yes, injuries have also played a big role in his decline. However; let’s be real, he won that 2008 U.S. Open title on a fucked up leg, son. Listen, all I’m saying is, I don’t think it’s a coincidence that he lost his glow when he lost his hoes, man.

In the end, we now live in a time where Tiger is an afterthought. Moving on, when it comes to his recent arrest, he claims that he had an “unexpected reaction” to prescription medicine. Now, that may very well be true, but he looks crazy nonetheless, son. Ultimately, it’s a damn shame that the G.O.A.T. is nothing more than a punchline now. By and by, he just needs to pack up his clubs and retire, fam. Look, the run is over, Tiger. It’s over, man. Just try to bow out with some form of dignity, bruh. LC out.

Is This Mayweather-McGregor Fight Happening Or Nah?

So, when it comes to this whole Floyd Mayweather/Conor McGregor situation, I have a ton of questions, son. First, why does McGregor think he can beat Mayweather? Second, why does McGregor think he even deserves the chance to fight Mayweather? Third, why would Mayweather come out of retirement for this? Now, I’ll be the first to admit that I’m not a huge Mayweather fan, son. The way I see it, he ducked that Manny Pacquiao fight until Pacman was past his prime. However; Mayweather is still a legend of the highest order. With that being said, why is this potential fight between him and McGregor even a thing? We all know the UFC star will ultimately get washed.

Now, I never took the idea of this fight seriously until yesterday. ESPN‘s Stephen A. Smith said he spoke with Mayweather and was told that a deal to make this fight happen was “very close.” I took that entire report with a HUGE grain of salt because Smith is also the same dude who said Kevin Durant was going to the Los Angeles Lakers. Then, he got pissed when Durant said he was full of shit. Look, seeing how Durant is lighting it up with the Golden State Warriors this season, yes, Smith was indeed full of shit, son. In any case, after hearing the news, I started to wonder about how much money each fighter was offered to make this work. I mean, let’s be real, son. Neither McGregor nor UFC head honcho Dana White have touched Mayweather-type figures, man.

Moving on, just when the rumor mill hit a fever pitch, Mayweather swooped in to kill the noise. He took to Instagram and dispelled any notion of coming out of retirement to fight McGregor. He refuted the news that there was any deal and maintained that if he ever wanted to fight again, he’d be the first one to tell the public. So, Mayweather’s response begs the question: where the fuck is Stephen A. Smith getting his facts from, son? Is this dude just making shit up for the sake of keeping a job? *Sigh* Him and Chris Broussard are the worst, man. They stay coming out of left field with false information, bruh. At this point, ESPN needs to vet their personnel more. Their anchors and former anchors always roll through with baseless hot takes.

In the end, I doubt this fight is happening, son. Nor should it happen. Like I said, I’m not on Team Mayweather, but reality is reality, man. McGregor hasn’t accomplished enough to square up with Mayweather. Ultimately, McGregor’s hype is reaching Ronda Rousey-levels. Yeah, we all saw how that ended, bruh. LC out.