Amy Schumer Ain’t Even Funny, Though

Ok, before I begin, let me make one thing clear: women should be paid the same as men. I mean, it’s only right that women receive equal pay for equal work, son. Now, despite that fact, people are BUGGING if they think that Amy Schumer deserves the same payday as Dave Chappelle and Chris Rock. All I know is, Schumer isn’t comparable to them and it has NOTHING to do with gender, man.

So, for those who missed it, word came down that Schumer renegotiated her contract with Netflix. This apparently came about after she discovered what Chappelle and Rock were paid for their respective stand-up specials. Look, I’m all for everyone getting their money, but the idea that Schumer is on the same level as those two legends is laughable at best. Now, when I say laughable, that’s definitely in STARK contrast to Schumer’s comedy. See, she’s just not funny, fam. Like, at all, bruh. Listen, it isn’t hyperbole when I say I’ve NEVER laughed at one of her jokes, son. Shit, I’m just being honest, man.

Now, if we take my bias out of the question, let’s just look at some facts here. Chappelle’s recent specials served as a return to form for the comedic hero. After YEARS away from the scene, his two Netflix specials were presented as his return to the limelight. All in all, why on Earth would Schumer be paid the same as him? Fam, she has NEVER shifted culture the way Chappelle or Rock have! Simply put, she’s never been in the same stratosphere as them.

Keeping it a buck, equal pay is definitely a real issue in our society. However; I don’t think this Schumer situation is an example of that. Bruh, she can’t be mentioned in the same breath as Chappelle or Rock, and it has nothing to do with her being a woman. Frankly, she hasn’t put in enough work to be considered amongst their ranks. In my eyes, paying her the same as them would be a disservice to Chappelle’s and Rock’s respective legacies. Simply put, they’ve been doing this A LOT longer (and A LOT better) than she has.

In the end, I hate when people inject social issues into irrelevant circumstances. Ultimately, Schumer’s situation isn’t an equal pay issue, man. By and by, her body of work just doesn’t stack up to theirs. Hell, she even admitted as much, son. Listen, facts are facts, fam. It just is what it is, bruh. LC out.

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Let’s All Laugh At Stacey Dash

Awwww, poor Lil Tink Tink! It’s a sad, sad day when someone COMPLETELY sells out for a paycheck and STILL loses their job. With that being said, I cannot stop chuckling at the fool we call Stacey Dash. Despite all of her coonery, buffoonery and tomfoolery on Fox News, this turd still got fired from her role on the network. I guess after Donald Trump‘s victory, they no longer need their resident Uncle Ruckus.

Now, before I continue making fun of Dash, let’s go through why it’s appropriate to roast her. As anyone can see from looking at a picture of her, Stacey Dash is CLEARLY a Black woman. However; for God knows what reason, she’s made it her life’s mission to speak AGAINST issues that impact women and the Black community. On the real, it’s fucking mind-boggling, son. She literally spent her tenure at Fox News speaking against any idea of racial or gender equality. With that being said, it’s no surprise that Fox made her the token Black poster child for their Birth of a Nation-like agenda.

Look, when I say she spoke against equality, I’m not being facetious. This is the same woman who argued that we need to get rid of the NAACP, Black History Month and BET. According to her, it’s a double standard for Black people to represent themselves, and it’s akin to segregation. In saying this, she completely ignored the fact that these brands were created because we weren’t being properly depicted by the White mainstream in the first place.

Honestly, the part that makes these comments even stupider is the fact that BET was the last company to give her consistent acting work. I guess she forgot about a little show called Single Ladies, son. Then again, I don’t blame her, man. I actually forgot about that show too. Nowadays, outside of a random role here or there, this chick can’t even get a steady gig anymore. Smart move, idiot.

Moving on, Dash has also proved she’s no ally of feminism either. Now, keep in mind this is a working woman. What kind of working woman would argue AGAINST equal pay? Like, huh? What? Does she enjoy making less than men for the same work? I don’t fucking get it, son. Back in 2015, during a discussion on The Meredith Vieira Show, she actually said that the fight for equal pay was an excuse. An excuse for what? Women wanting to be compensated appropriately. How can she speak so freely against her own interests? That’s like a dude with a rotting tooth arguing against the benefits of a root canal. I refuse to believe anyone can be that stupid, son. Then again, 62 million people voted for Trump. So, what do I know?

In the end, I take immense joy in knowing that Stacey Dash no longer has a job. She shucked and jived for all of the bigots on Fox News and has nothing to show for it. At this point, maybe she can get a job cleaning toilets for BET. They’re both full of shit anyway. Good day.

P.S. This ain’t got nothing to do with nothing, but sheesh, she was so bad back in the day, son. It’s a damn shame that the Black Don’t Crack gods took their magic away when she started being a dumbass. I guess I’ll just have to relish the good ol’ days, man. LC out.