Jussie Smollett: The Finesse God

So, I won’t lie, son. I’m probably going to piss off a number of my fellow minorities with this post. However, I wouldn’t be me if I didn’t keep it a buck, man. With that being said, get Jussie Smollett the fuck outta here, fam! I mean, seriously, folks really believe he’s innocent? Do people actually read, bruh? Listen, the charges against him were dropped because he made a deal with the prosecutor. It’s very simple, brethren.

Ok, for those who missed it, Smollett played his “get out of jail free” card. Now, as of yesterday, the 16 felony charges against him were dismissed. Because of this, folks all over social media are proclaiming that Smollett was vindicated and cleared of any wrongdoing. Unfortunately, that’s not how the legal system works, son. In reality, Smollett was given a plea deal, man. In exchange for community service and forfeiting his $10,000 bond, Kim Foxx, the State Attorney, let Smollett skate. The truth is, her office still believes he lied. But, they’re also satisfied with keeping his money. On the real, that’s very different than innocence, fam.

Now, before anyone accuses me of hating on Smollett, remember that I was on his side at first. Frankly, that all changed when I realized his story was bullshit, bruh. Honestly, I wanted this story to be real because I didn’t want to grapple with the idea that someone would do something so cotdamn dumb, son. In any case, Smollett’s story is still nonsense and a plea bargain won’t make me change my mind, man.

In the end, folks can hate me if they want to. However, I know a plea deal when I see one, fam. Shit, I’m married to a lawyer, people. Ultimately, Smollett finessed Chicago out of any real punishment, bruh. By and by, if I ever get into any real trouble, I want his legal team on deck, son. At the end of the day, they’re the real MVP’s here. That is all. LC out.

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Stop Deflecting Away From Jussie Smollett’s Nonsense

So, I’m going to try and keep this short today, son. Basically, I’m tired of the bullshit, man. On the real, anytime a Black person is caught doing some foul shit, people bring up White folks who’ve gotten away with similar foul shit. All I know is, it brings me back to a question I’ve asked before: do Black people want to be right or do we want to get away with the same crimes as White people? The point is, Jussie Smollett was deadass wrong, fam. Frankly, any attempt to defend him is severely misguided.

Ok, for those who are living under a rock, Smollett has officially been arrested and charged with filing a false police report. Now, according to the law, this offense is a Class 4 Felony, which could result in 1-3 years in prison and a $25,000 fine. Anyway, I think it’s safe to say that Smollett is in a world of shit right now, bruh. Moving on, I don’t like the narrative that’s spreading through social media, son. Listen, regardless of other offenders, Smollett still did something incredibly wrong, man. The fact is, he needs to pay for his nonsense, fam.

Listen, I’m seeing a lot of people bring up White folks who’ve falsely called the cops on Black people. Ok, yes, that’s another issue that desperately needs to be addressed, bruh. The way I see it, all of the Petty Patty’s and Nosy Nancy’s need to be prosecuted for involving in the law in unnecessary situations. However, that doesn’t take away from the fact that Smollett needs to be held accountable for his actions. I mean, HE FAKED A COTDAMN HATE CRIME, SON! Like, how else could I possibly phrase that? The truth is, he doesn’t deserve our damn sympathy, man. All in all, more Black people should be mad at him, fam. Shit, folks were ready to ride for him and he made us all look like idiots, brethren.

In the end, I really want people to stop changing the story, son. Ultimately, two things can be true at once, man. By and by, Smollett should be charged for his tomfoolery AND White people should be charged for fraudulently calling the police. At the end of the day, Smollett shouldn’t be exempt from justice, fam. In addition, he needs to be ridiculed for such a botched plan, bruh. Hell, this entire saga unraveled faster than a Payless shoe, people. *Sigh* I don’t know what else to say here. LC out.

P.S. Miss me with any of that “mental health” shit, son. Keeping it a buck, I can already see that narrative gaining traction, man. All I can say is, I rebuke all of that, fam. In my eyes, Smollett is nothing more than a fucking clown, bruh. That is all.

What The F*ck, Jussie?!

So, I won’t lie, son. On the real, I’m mad at myself, man. I’m mad that I fell for the gaffle, fam. I’m mad that it didn’t even cross my mind that an idiot could fabricate a story like this. All in all, fuck Jussie Smollett, bruh. Keeping it a buck, if he really did stage a hate crime, which it seems like he did, we need to throw his ass into the fucking abyss, people. The way I see it, an action like this is unforgivable, folks. Real talk, this type of tomfoolery could have lasting and damaging implications.

Ok, for those who haven’t been paying attention, Chicago police have poked a ton of holes in Smollett’s story, son. Now, I started to believe something was up when homie was onstage saying he was the “gay Tupac.” Fam, what part of the game is that? I mean, is this how far someone would go for “clout,” man? For God’s sake, the two alleged attackers ended up being Nigerian brothers who knew Smollett. Shit, one of them appeared as an extra on Empire and another one is apparently Smollett’s trainer. Frankly, I don’t know who is who, bruh.

To make matters worse, the brothers have seemingly admitted that Smollett paid them to “attack” him. According to new reports, when the cops raided the brothers’ crib, they found ropes, masks and bleach. Like, I don’t even know what to say here, son. In all honesty, Smollett’s alleged actions are EXTREMELY dangerous, man. Hell, we legitimately live in a country where Black and gay people are harmed for being Black, gay or both. So, why the FUCK would Smollett play games with a narrative like this? All I know is, he’s made it INCREDIBLY difficult for real victims to get justice, fam. Listen, because of his seemingly false “this is MAGA country” claims, Fox News and the right-wing are already running with this, bruh. Smollett has given them all the ammo they need to dismiss REAL hatred and bigotry.

In the end, I’ll say it again, son. Fuck Jussie Smollett, man! Ultimately, I have to use the word “allegedly” for this entire post. However, shit ain’t looking good for him, fam. By and by, if it’s truly confirmed that he staged this whole incident, I hope he never works again, bruh. At the end of the day, fuck his music, fuck his acting and fuck any other endeavor of his, brethren. As a matter of fact, he needs to go to jail for some nonsense like this, folks. All I can say is, it takes a foul individual to be this disgusting, people. *Sigh* LC out.

What The F*ck Did They Do To Jussie Smollett?!

So, I won’t lie, son. Real talk, I’m blown away right now, man. Like, what year are we in, fam? Seriously, what fucking year is it, bruh? Keeping it a buck, I don’t want to hear anything about progress, people. Shit, every time we think we’re moving ahead as a country, some fuckery occurs to bring us all back down. All I know is, the attack on Jussie Smollett was absolutely unconscionable. Frankly, I’m having a hard time putting my frustration into words, folks.

Ok, for those who missed it, Smollett was attacked in Chicago on Tuesday morning. According to the story, while walking out of a Subway restaurant at 2 AM, two dudes rolled up on him and said “aren’t you that faggot Empire nigger?” From there, the two ski-masked men hit Smollett in the face, injured his rib, put a rope around his neck and poured an “unknown chemical substance” on him. After all of that, the men allegedly yelled “this is MAGA country” before leaving the scene.

Now, I don’t even know where to start, son. I mean, do I start at the “faggot” part? Do I start at the “nigger” part? Or, should I start at the “MAGA country” part? Regardless, this whole scenario appears to be a clusterfuck of hate, man. Not to mention, a letter threatening Smollett was sent to Fox studios just a week prior to this incident. Meaning, he may have been targeted this entire time, fam.

Listen, I need Donald Trump supporters to hear me clear. As much as the MAGA brigade likes to say they’re not racist or xenophobic, there are a number of people who commit atrocities in their name. Look, if folks want all Muslims to atone for the actions of the radical few, why does MAGA nation think they’re exempt? It’s not a coincidence that losers preach hate in their name. It’s not a coincidence that David Duke identifies with the message. All in all, I don’t want to hear any of that “I don’t agree with everything Trump says” shit. The way I see it, it’s a package deal, bruh. People can’t piecemeal what they want and ignore all of the other tomfoolery that comes with it, son.

In the end, I’m wishing the best for Jussie Smollett. Ultimately, I hope they catch the motherfuckers who did this bullshit to him, man. By and by, it’s frightening that crimes like this are still occurring in 2019. At the end of the day, it’s dangerous for so many different groups of people, fam. *Sigh* This is America. Don’t catch you slipping up. LC out.

Put Some Respek On Dame Dash’s Name

Man, I fucks with Damon Dash. Shit, I know that people like to judge him for his falling out with Jay-Z. However, Dash is a legend and should be treated as such, son. In any case, it seems like Lee Daniels missed that memo, fam. Hell, not only did Dash run up on Daniels for not repaying a $2 million loan, but he also filed a lawsuit over the missing money. All in all, Dash hit Daniels with that “run me my check” type of energy.

Ok, for those who missed it, this beef has been brewing for quite some time. Now, according to Dash, he lent Daniels money to fund his movie career. Based on Dash’s story, he gave Daniels the bread needed to create a Richard Pryor biopic, which never saw the light of day. In addition, Dash was supposed to receive five percent of the backend profits from the film. Needless to say, none of that transpired and Dash is PISSED!

Real talk, I can completely understand why Dash is heated, bruh. I mean, look at all of the success that Daniels has had, son. Listen, whether we’re discussing Precious, The Butler or Empire, Daniels has had an amazing run in the industry, man. So, why won’t he just pay Dash his money, fam? Honestly, I feel like people front on Dash because of his failed relationship with Hov and ousting from Roc-A-Fella Records. Keeping it a buck, all of this shit feels like a “kick a dude while he seems to be down” kind of vibe.

Listen, folks need to applaud Dash for his accomplishments, bruh. Keeping it a buck, he’s the one who believed in Hov from the jump. He’s the one who wanted to start Roc-A-Fella after all of the major labels turned Jay down. He’s the one who brought Kareem “Biggs” Burke in to help fund their independent endeavor. He’s the one who actually believed in, and signed, a young Kanye West. Side note, we ALL know about West’s current run of fuckery. But, that doesn’t negate his past work. Anyway, Dash deserves more than the shade that people constantly give him, folks.

In the end, Daniels needs to pay Dash back, son. Ultimately, Dame isn’t going to let this shit go, man. Either way, it makes for amazing entertainment, fam. By and by, Daniels and everyone else need to put some respek on Dash’s name, bruh. Word to Birdman. LC out.

Go Watch ‘The New Edition Story’!

All jokes aside, I can’t believe BET pulled this off, son. I mean, let’s be real, man. BET has been a joke for quite some time now. They have specialized in damn near every type of coonery imaginable. However; it looks like they’re trying to get back in Black people’s good graces by releasing good content. With that being said, this New Edition miniseries is awesome, son! Like, this project was really well made, man. So far, after being locked in for the first two nights of the three-night event, I must say, from the storyline to the casting, BET got The New Edition Story right. Ultimately, this series is a dope history lesson about a group of supremely crazy ass dudes who made timeless records. People need to get onboard ASAP, bruh.

First, let’s talk about the casting, son. Whoever assembled the guys to portray New Edition is a cotdamn genius, man. To begin, I don’t care what anyone says, the kid who plays the child version of Bobby Brown MUST be related to Bobby. Shit, Bobby has a gillion kids, so I wouldn’t be surprised if that was actually his real son. Moving on, casting Hakeem Lyon, excuse me, Yazz the Greatest, excuse me, Bryshere Y. Gray as Michael Bivins is fucking brilliant, man. Their vocal inflections match perfectly. Seriously, if I’m not paying close enough attention, I really do believe Bivins is the one speaking. Lastly, Luke James is one of the few people with the vocal prowess to tackle Johnny Gill’s notes. Since these guys are actually singing the songs, they definitely needed a talented singer to handle all of Johnny’s Luther Vandross-esque vocal stylings.

Next, Bobby Brown is just good for television, son. Without a doubt, Bobby is one of the craziest dudes to ever become famous. Despite all of his talent, he couldn’t help himself when it comes to being a train wreck. He was already everyone’s crazy uncle by the time he was a teenager, bruh. He just always found himself in some bullshit, man. Keeping it a buck, I really do wonder how big Bobby could’ve been if he just remotely kept his act together. People act like he wasn’t the biggest R&B star on the planet when he was at his peak. People act like “On Our Own” isn’t a perfect fucking song. People act like Usher didn’t take a grip of his dance moves from Bobby. *Sigh* Even with the success he had, Bobby Brown still could’ve been a way bigger star. I guess we’ll never know, son.

Lastly, I think the film is doing a great job of displaying the group’s mentality. Sometimes, it’s hard to remember that a lot of this stuff happened before any of them turned 25. Hell, most of this shit happened when they were still teens. Of COURSE they were making terrible decisions, man! How smart were any of us when we were 17? Does any know why the name of this blog is “I Can’t Be Famous?” It’s because I know damn well I’d act a complete fool if I had any kind of notoriety. Lord knows what I would’ve done if I was in their position at 17 or 18. Honestly, I can’t even fault them for the bad contracts. I mean, grown ass people are STILL signing awful deals today. Ultimately, a lawyer is everyone’s best friend.

In the end, go watch this series, son. Plain and simple. Part three comes on tonight and I’m sure BET is replaying the first two parts before that. While I’m still shocked I’m promoting anything related to BET, I do give credit where credit is due. They did great work here, man. Now, let me get back to playing “You’re Not My Kind of Girl” at ignorant levels. Good day.